Break Apart My Heart

After walking the short distance to Zack’s house, I made my way to his doorstep, ringing the bell. I stood awkwardly for a few moments before the door opened, revealing a beautiful brunette with a case of bed head.

“Hi, can I help you?” She smiled.
My mouth nearly dropped to the floor.
“Uh, well, no. Sorry, I guess I got the wrong house.” I lied, turning on my heels and running the opposite direction.

I can’t believe it, Matt was right. He had told me Zack goes through a lot of girls, but I didn’t realize he meant at the same time. The closer I got to my house, the more infuriated I became. It’s true, we weren’t official, but this was a bad way to start off anything that could have gone on between us. I guess its better I found out now rather than later, but regardless, he’s going to pay.

I ripped the door open and stomped up the stairs to my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me.
“What’d lover boy do?” Andy asked after taking one look at me.
“Fucking dickhead; I didn’t even make it into the house.” I fumed.
Andy gave me a quizzical look, asking me to explain.
“I fucking walk over there, ring the doorbell, and some whore opens the door. What the fuck is that? I know she didn’t just get there, either, because she had sex hair.”
“What’d you do?” He asked, lying across my bed, his elbows supporting his upper half.
“I said I got the wrong damn house and left.” I stated, pulling the small baggie out of my bag.
He raised his eyebrow. “You didn’t hit her?”
“Not worth it. She’s probably just as clueless as I was. Matt told me this would fucking happen, why didn’t I listen?” I groaned, sprinkling the leafy green substance into the dutch and rolling it up into a perfect, thin cylinder. “Where’s Bella?” I finally noticed she wasn’t here.
“Uh ... I don’t know.” He stared down at my blanket, pulling at a loose thread.
I narrowed my eyes. “Andy, spill. Now.”
He threw his arms up. “Fine! But if she asks, you beat it out of me.”
“Yea, sure, now where is she?” I crossed my arms over my chest.
He cringed. “Living room.”

I raised my eyebrow and tossed him the blunt, making my way down the staircase and through the foyer, into the living room. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head as I yelped. Her head immediately snapped back to face me, causing her to fall of the couch, and my brother.

“When, what … oh, ew!” I yelled.
“Nikki, I can explain!” Brian yelled.
“Ew, ew, ew …” I repeated over again, making my way back up the staircase and into my room. Andy saw the look on my face and started laughing.
“This is not funny!” I yelled, wiping my hands down my face in a weak attempt to erase the images I just saw. “My brother and sister were just dry humping on my couch. I need soap!” I yelled, running into the bathroom to scrub my eyes.

Andy laughed even harder as Bella ran through the door, her top on backwards and her face flushed.
“Baby doll, I’m sorry! We were just hanging out, and one thing led to another …” She trailed.
I dried my face and looked over at her. “I’m officially scarred for life because of you two. You both owe me so big, I can’t even think of how you’re gonna pay me back yet.”
“What are you even doing home? You’re supposed to be at Zack’s.” She asked.
I rolled my eyes. “Ask Andy.”

With that, I closed the door and hopped into the shower. The scolding water ran down my body, relaxing every aching muscle I had. I knew Andy had told her when I heard “I’ll kill him!” Erupt from the other side of my door. Today couldn’t get any worse; Bella and my brother almost fucked, or did fuck, and Zack has a side piece. Or am I his side piece, and she’s the real deal? I don’t know anymore, and as of right now, I decided I don’t care. It’s not worth my time. I finished my shower and got out, wrapping a fluffy white towel around my body and walked back into my bedroom. It reeked of pot, and a thick cloud had taken over my room.

“Damn guys, you couldn’t wait for me?” I smirked, dropping the towel. She passed me the blunt and I smoked while looking for something to wear.
“I’ll fucking kill the little asshole. Who does he think he’s messing with, here?” Bella continued to rant on.
“I don’t care.” I shrugged, taking a hit. “It’s not like we were actually dating, anyway. I’m over it.” I stated.
“Fine, but if he pisses you off, or does anything to you, I’m killing him.” Bella stated firmly.
“I know, and that’s why I love you, whore.” I smiled, taking another hit and passing it to Andy.
“Love you too, baby doll.” She blew a kiss my way and I caught it, licking my hand.

I clipped on a bra and slid on a set of panties and continued my search for cloths. I decided on wearing an oversized white Rolling Stones tee-shirt, but the mouth was done in leopard print. Finding an old pair of jeans I cut into shorts, I pulled them on and attached a belt, considering when I bought these I was a bit heavier. I pulled on my studded converse, skull studded bracelets and heart earrings before starting my makeup. I wanted something simple with a dramatic effect, so I lined my eyes in black, then a red rim around the black, finishing off with bright red lipstick.

“What are we doing today?” Andy asked, lighting up another blunt.
“I figured we’d hang out here and get fucked up for the day.” I noted.
“You should see if anybody’s got anything good around here.” Bella suggested. I knew what she meant, and I was all in.
“I’ll see what I can do.” I smirked.
“Well, I need a shower.” She stated.
“Yea, you smell like sex.” Andy joked, pinching his nose.
“At least I’m getting some.” She shot back.
“Ew! Too much, way too much. I don’t need to hear about you and my brother.” I yelled, scrunching my nose in distaste. “Both of you, go shower now.” I ordered.
“Yes, mommy!” Andy saluted. Bella went towards my bathroom and I followed Andy out of the door. He was using the hallway bathrooms shower.
“Hey Anders, where’s Matt? His car was parked outside when I got back.” I asked.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure, but if you find him, tell him where I’m at.” He winked, closing himself into the bathroom.

I shook my head and walked down the hall. I was still a little pissed at him for calling me a bitch, but I get over things pretty quickly. Especially now that Zack was out of the picture, I could use feminine charm to knock Valary out as well. Now I just need to learn what entails feminine charm….

I wondered downstairs and was about to go out the back sliding door when I saw Matt sitting on the patio, smoking a cigarette. I sat watching him for a few minutes, paying close attention to the smoke being inhaled through his perfect lips and out his nose. He looked tense. I finally opened the door and watched as his eyes shot up to meet mine. I smiled weakly and took a seat next to him, stealing the cigarette from his hand and taking a pull.

“You’re a singer, you shouldn’t be smoking.” I stated, flicking the ashes off the tip.
“I could say the same to you.” He relied.
I chuckled. “I haven’t sang in years.”
“Why not?” He asked, leaning back into the chair. “You used to be really good.”
“I sang when I was happy. The singing died with the happiness.” I stated. Wow, that was morbid.
He frowned. “You seem happy, though.”
I shrugged. “I mean, I’m not depressed or anything like that, things just happen in life. I wasn’t happy living with my grandparents, or my mother.”
He wrapped his strong arm over me and I leaned into him.
“Well, you’re back now, and we’re never letting you leave again Colie.”
I flicked my cigarette and looked up at him.
“Everybody leaves at some point, Matt.”

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

After my little talk with Matt, he went home to shower and change and I went back upstairs to find Andy and Bella. I found Andy drooling on my bed, shirtless in a pair of jeans and my socks, so I left him alone. I didn’t plan on looking for Bella, in case she had found her way into my brother’s room after her shower, but she walked in a few moments after I did in a white tank top with leopard print, grey jeans, purple and black make-up and her patent leather jacket. It’s a wonder why she likes my brother, she’s fucking hot.

“So what’s the deal with shit for tonight?” She asked.
“Fuck.” I cursed to myself. “I forgot to ask Matt. Can you keep yourself entertained for like an hour?” I asked.
She shot me a look. “Why am I even asking.” I shook my head. “I’ll be back.”

I grabbed my cigarettes and my phone and ran out the door. I looked through the extremely short list of contacts, before finding a newly added one.

“Yellow?” He answered.
“Green!” I smiled into the phone.
“Purple.” He challenged back.
“Red.” I smirked.
“Blue.” He wasn’t giving up.
“RAINBOW!” I yelled.
“You can’t say rainbow! That’s not even a color, that’s all colors.” He explained.
“My point exactly. Now, I need a favor from you.”
“Why should I?” He asked.
“Because when I was 9 you told me you were indebted to me forever, which makes you my slave.”
“…Go on.” I could just imagine him rubbing his chin, with a devious smirked played across his lips.
“I need some … entertainment, for tonight.” I smirked, knowing he’d catch the analogy.
“Ah, entertainment is what you seek, entertainment I can provide. Are you looking for mild entertainment or something for the night?” He asked.
“Something for the night.”
“Meet me at Johnny’s in a half hour.” He stated.
“Wait, I don’t know where-” He hung up.

I sighed, and tried to no avail to run a hand through my knotted hair. I looked back down at my phone and contemplated who I could call to drive me there. I looked around and realized I had only walked a block, and that I was down the street from the Sanders residence. I smirked, and jogged to the white house. Knocking, I waited until Kim opened the door.

“Hey Kim.” I smiled brightly.
“Nikki! Why are you knocking? You know you can walk in whenever you want.” She smiled, letting me in.
“Sorry Kim, I’ll remember next time. Is Matt here?” I asked.
“Sure is, he’s up in his room.” She pointed. “Can you bring these up to him for me?” She asked, handing me a stack of folded cloths.
“No problem.” I smiled, jumping up the stairs to his room.
I knocked loudly 3 times.
“What?” He yelled.
“Cleaning lady!” I yelled back in my best Russian accent.
His door opened a few moments later with a bewildered expression across his face. He became even more confused when he saw the cloths in my arms.
“Why do you have my cloths?”
“You’re mom sent me up with them.” I stated, pushing them into his arms and walking in. I took a seat on his bed. “I need a favor.”
“What’s in it for me?” He smirked.
“Entertainment for the rest of the night.” I stated.
His eyes bulged out of his head and I nearly died from laughing.
“Not that kind of entertainment you pervert.” I laughed. “Unless, you know, you want to.” I added with a wink.
He looked down to hide the blush he was sporting. “Shut up. What do you need?”
“I need a ride to Johnny’s.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you going to the bar?”
“It’s a bar?” I asked.
“If you don’t know what it is, why are you going?”
“I’m meeting Jimmy over there. He’s getting us some stuff for tonight.” I explained, stretching out on his bed. My shirt slightly rode up.
“When?” He asked, staring at my stomach.
“Uh,” I glanced over at his clock. “I have to be there in 15 minutes.”
“Well,” He stated, sliding into the bed next to me. “We have 5 minutes to kill.” He played with the hem of my shirt, and I felt his knuckles graze over my lower stomach.
I sighed deeply. “Unless you can get me off in 5 minutes, I suggest we get there early.”
His eyes turned dark as he stared into mine, his hand moving onto the sensitive skin above my waistband. “I take that as a challenge.”
I nearly moaned from his touch alone, but I knew I had to stop it, as reluctant as I was to.
“Later.” I winked. “Lets get going.”
He sighed and grabbed his keys off the nightstand, stomping down the stairs like a 5 year old.

I said goodbye to Kim and hopped into his jeep, watching the houses go by as he drove to Johnny’s. We got there a few minutes early so I lit up a cigarette while we waited for Jimmy.

“Does you’re brother know what your doing?” He asked.
“No, but I know what, or should I say who, is doing my brother.” I grimaced.
He smirked. “You saw that, too?”
“I was gone for 20 minutes, I come back and their half naked on the couch!” I yelled.
“Yea tell me about it. I walked downstairs to get some water and they were going at it.”
“I don’t wanna hear this shit anymore.” I pouted.
“Never would of pegged you as virginal.” He said.
“Excuse me?” I asked, my head whipping to the side to face him. “Did you just call me a whore?”
“What? No! I-I just meant, you know, you .. I just meant, from what you told me, you grew up pretty fast. I figured you’d of seen stuff like that before.” He reasoned.
“Hell, I’ve seen worse than that. But imagine if you walked in and saw … Amy and Jimmy about to fuck on your couch. Amy’s your sister, and Jimmy’s like you’re brother. Its disturbing in more ways than I care to name.”
“I see you’re point.” He nodded.
“There’s Jimmy!” I stated, rolling down the window all the way. “Meow!”
“Did you just-”
“Woof!” Jimmy answered, hopping into the backseat.
“Why are you two making animal noises at each other?” Matt asked.
“It’s a secret language, dear Matthew.” Jimmy answered. “You can’t be normal to understand.”
Matt shot Jimmy a strange look and started the drive to my house.
“So what’d you get me?” I asked, smiling from ear to ear.
“A little of this, a little of that.” He toyed with his backpack.
“Tell me, Sullivan!” I ordered.
“Fine!” He sighed dramatically, handing me his backpack.
I looked inside and squealed with joy.
“You’re the best Jim Jam.”
“You’re not the first lady to tell me that.” He blew on his knuckles, a cocky smirk plastered over his face.
“She’ll be the last if you don’t tell me what’s in the damn backpack.” Matt stated.
“We need pizza!” I screamed, realizing it’d be a smarter idea.
“Why would you need-”
“You’re a genius!” Jimmy cut Matt off.
Matt sighed. “I’m not talking anymore.”

We stopped off and bought two pizzas on the way back to my house. Once we got there, I made Jimmy and Matt go in first to make sure there was nothing indecent happening on my couch. They gave me the okay to come in, and I yelled for Bella and Andy to get their asses downstairs. They were down a few minutes later, with my brother in tow. Oh great.

“Brian, we’re doing something fun tonight, so no going protective older brother on me, okay?” I asked.
He looked at me skeptically. “What are you doing?”
“Shrooms!” I exclaimed.
“You’re not doing shrooms.” He stated.
“I’ve done them before.” I reasoned.
Bella wrapped her arm around his waist and whispered something into his ear. He sighed, clearly defeated, and looked back to me.
“Fine, but I’m not happy about this.”
“We got you some.” Jimmy piped up.
“Okay, I’m a little happier about this.” He smirked.
“So that’s why we got pizza!” Matt stated, finally catching on.
“Duh.” I smirked, petting his head.

Jimmy took out the two bags of shrooms he had and sprinkled them over the pizza. Thankfully, we live in California, because shrooms are usually seasonal. He finished and everyone grabbed a slice and a beer, and took their first bite.

“I don’t feel anything.” Matt frowned.
Bella, Andy, Jimmy and I all started laughing. Brian looked at the four of us.
“What’s so funny? I don’t feel anything either.”
“Of course you don’t feel it yet, it hasn’t even kicked in yet.” I stated, standing up. “This party needs some tunes, and some real alcohol.”

I ran into my room and grabbed my CD case, and the small black box I keep my stash of weed and dutches in. I descended back down the stairs, handing Bella the box and CDs, and walked to the kitchen to get the bottle of Jack I had stashed. Who said Mondays aren’t fun? It’s not a real birthday unless you’re fucked up the very beginning and very end, anyway.

I heard my Pantera CD start to play as I walked back to the living room, taking swigs from the bottle. Bella already had the blunt rolled and passed it to me. I lit it and inhaled the flavors, letting the smoke swish around my lungs before exhaling.

“Bri, you can’t smoke.” I decided.
“What? Why?” He asked.
“She’s right, dude. Neither can you, Matt. The shrooms alone are gonna fuck you up, mixing it with alcohol and weed is either gonna give you a bad trip, or you’re gonna be real good friends with the toilet by the end of the night.” Andy stated, downing his beer and reaching for another.
“Where’s Zack?” Brian asked out of nowhere.
I bit my lip. I saw Bella nudge him and give him a look. When did he learn to read our looks?

After the blunt was finished, and I had quite a few more shots in my body, I felt the shrooms start to take over. I smiled as I stared at Andy; his hair was going from its normal brown color to black, to dark purple, to light purple, to light blue, to blonde. He was my own personal disco ball. The room moved in slow motion as I tried looking around to see if it had hit anyone else yet. The music that was around me started to melt. The words sounded like they were dripping from the speakers, and suddenly, I felt like they would began to drip on me. I looked over towards Matt and pulled his shirt up, sticking my head underneath against his chest to block the dripping notes from getting me wet. I heard faint laughing as I noticed how defined Matt’s chest and abs were. They were sculpted in perfect creases. I pulled his shirt up, releasing me from its confinements and pulled at his skin. I pinched two sides and tried to fold them over, making another perfect crease in his skin, but it wouldn’t work for me. He must have done it himself, he’s a strong guy.

I stood up, albeit a bit wobbly, and grabbed my bottle of jack. I took a swig and smiled with delight when I realized my jack had been replaced with liquid candy, or at least that’s what it tasted like. I took a few long gulps before dropping the bottle and its contents onto the floor, watching as the liquid flooded out of the bottle and onto the wood floors. It began to puddle around my feet, so I hopped onto the couch to keep my feet from drowning.

“Nikki, lets go!” Bella slurred as she grabbed my arm.
My eyes widened. “Where are we going?”
“I don’t know!” She giggled, dragging me behind her. That’s when I realized we had been the only two in the room. The guys disappeared! Or were they ever even here at all? Are they imaginary? Did I make up my entire childhood in my own mind? I was proven wrong when, as we stepped out of the door, I saw all 4 guys walking a little ahead of us.

The walk to, wherever we were going, was quite amusing. I had a conversation with the smartest little red person I’d ever met. He was trying to explain to me that without water, there would be no civilization, because water is what keeps everything alive. I attempted to tell him that electronics would still be alive because they don’t like water very much, but he explained that no one would have invented them without water. I don’t understand what he meant, but I didn’t understand what most of my teachers meant about things either, so I chalked him up to being a genius. Matt dragged me away from him, but I promised to come back so he could teach me more about the world. The houses that we passed kept changing shapes, and I told them it was not polite to change so often because it would confuse the owners as to where they lived. Alas, they ignored me, and continued to shift shapes.

Jimmy and Brian led us to a park, and into a clearing in between the trees. Everyone found a rock to sit on, but I felt more inclined to take a seat on Matt’s lap. I refused to me sodomized by a rock, and his leg looked much more comfortable. As I sat, I thought about how I would go about trying to get a lawsuit against the rock for rape. Do rocks have possessions? Could I take their dirt in a settlement?

I was distracted from my distractions when Jimmy began yelling.
“Jimmy!” I yelled, smiling.
“Nikki! Do you SEE that duck? It’s the biggest fucking duck I’ve ever seen in my fucking life! It’s … It’s … It’s like, a fucking stallion duck!”
My eyed widened. “Where is he?!” I demanded. I needed to see this stallion duck of which he spoke of to determine if it really was as big as he said.
“It’s getting away! Come on, lets get it!” He yelled, grabbing my hand and dragging me through the clearing and towards the lake.
“Jimmy! I see it!” I yelled, staring at the duck. It really was a stallion duck, the thing was huge.
“Lets get it!”
“Okay!” I agreed. I watched it dive into the lake, so I began to take my shirt off as to not scare the duck. If it saw a giant set of lips coming at it, It might think I’m trying to eat it, and I’m not. I simply just want to see if he agrees with the little red man about water, considering the stallion duck must spend much of its time in lakes. I clumsily pulled my sneakers off and kept running.

“Come on, it’s getting away!” Jimmy yelled.
“I’m on it, Jimmy!” I yelled, running straight for the river.

I dove in head first before I realized, water is wet! My head submerged from the water and I started yelling obscenities at no one in particular.

“Did you get it?” Jimmy asked from the land.
“No!” I yelled back. “And I’m all wet! Why didn’t you tell me I’d get wet?”
“Here.” He stated, jumping in a little distance from me. “Now I’m wet too. Feel better?”
“Sure.” I stated.

I then realized, my feet weren’t touching any kind of surface. I was flying! Somehow, the water must have given me the ability of flight! I’ve got to tell the little red man about this …

“We need to go!” I yelled suddenly.
“Why?” Jimmy asked, flying in circles around me.
“Because I need to find the little red man and tell him about the flying!”
Jimmy stopped flying. “I need to meet this little red man.”
“Lets go then, I’ll introduce you. He’s really a genius.”
“Okay.” Jimmy flew to the edge of the river and climbed out. I attempted to fly towards him, but I couldn’t. This flying thing is harder than I imagined it would be.
“Jimmy, help! I haven’t learned to fly yet!” I yelled, kicking around. As soon as I did, I began to move a little. “Nevermind, I think I figured it out!” I kicked my feet around and that’s when I realized, flying was as much work as walking was. No wonder nobody did it. Slowly, I made my way out of the lake and looked behind me. The only thing in there was a large rock I hadn’t noticed before.

“Stupid Stallion ducks. They must be in the house family; always changing shapes. Very rude of them.”