Break Apart My Heart

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Babydoll, Happy Birthday to you!”

This is what I've woken up to every year for almost 8 years on my birthday. I smiled and extended my hand, because without even opening my eyes, I knew they had a shot glass and a bottle of Jack waiting for me. I felt the glass touch my fingers and I leaned over slightly so I didn't spill it.

“One, Two ...” Bella started
“Three!” We all yelled and downed our shots.

It was a tradition we'd had since we all became friends, that'd we'd wake each other up on our birthday's to our favorite alcohol. Andy started the trend with Bella, stating that everyone should start off their birthday's right; and to him, that meant getting drunk.

“What time is it?” I asked, wiping the sleep from my eyes.
“Noon-ish. Your brother is making you breakfast.” Bella smirked.
My eyed widened. “And no ones watching him?!”
“You think so lowly of us,” Andy pouted. “Matty-poo is downstairs making sure he doesn't burn the house down.”
I smiled at them they nodded. Yawning, I tossed the covers off of me and stood up, trying to crack the kink out of my back. Ander's tends to move in his sleep, so I wouldn't doubt at some point he was probably on top of me.
“Babydoll, your phone's been going off for an hour.”
“Which is why were awake.” Andy added.
“What can I say? I'm a popular lady.” I smiled, grabbing my phone.
“And a legal lady.” Andy chimed.
“Oh jeez, Andy, we're going to be beating the men off her!” Bella wiped a fake tear from her eye and I rolled my eyes.
“I've been beating them off the entire time I've been here.” I deadpanned.
“She's got a point.” Andy smiled.

The two continued to act like parent's and talk about how their 'little girl' was growing up while I checked my phone. I had texts from Jimmy, Beli, Matt, and even my mother saying Happy Birthday, and then one from Zacky.

'Hey, Happy Birthday. Wat happened 2 u the other night? Call me.'

I hadn't spoke to him since I went to his house that day, but I can't say I'm still mad at him. I had no right to be, really. We weren't dating, and I had kissed Matt; well, Matt had kissed me, anyway. I think the reason I had been so mad was because Matt was telling the truth. I had hoped he was just jealous, like Amy said, but maybe he was just protecting me? But that doesn't explain why he kissed me, then.

“Hello?!” Bella yelled, knocking on my head. “Earth to Babydoll, where did you go?”
“Sorry, sorry!” I defended. “I was lost in Nikki-land. I'm gonna shower, and if you two love me you'll eat all of Brian's cooking so I don't have to.” I pouted, pleading with them with my eyes.
“You know I'd take a bullet for you, right?” I nodded. “Bullets are one thing, but your brothers cooking is a completely different story. Your on your own!” Andy laughed maniacally, dragging Bella out of the room with him.

I sighed and stripped of my pajamas, and stepped into the hot shower. I knew Zack would be there for the barbeque, but I didn't know how to approach him yet. I didn't want him to think I was mad at him, but I didn't want to just act like nothing happened, either. Maybe I could just avoid him?

I got out of the shower and wrapped my hair into a towel. I grabbed my favorite pair of leather pants and fought my way into them; wet legs and leather don't go together so well. I threw on a “trouble maker” belly shirt, my butterfly earrings, rings, anchor bracelet, and finally, the locket Matt gave me. I did my makeup, threw on my black beanie and my combat boots, and I was ready to face everyone. Grabbing the bottle of Jack on my nightstand, I made my way downstairs where Bella, Andy, Bri and Matt were sitting.

“Sorry Nikki, these two had the munchies and ate your birthday breakfast.” Brian scowled, looking at the empty plates.
I snapped my fingers. “Damn, I was really looking forward to it. Oh well, thanks anyway, Bri.” I smiled, grabbing a cereal bar from the cupboard. I glanced over at Bella and Andy who were glaring at me. I blew them a kiss in appreciation and walked outside to the patio.

Everything was already set up, and there were a lot of chairs. I wasn't sure who was coming to this, but by the look of it, there would be tons. I pulled out one of my Newports and lit it, blowing out the first pull, then taking another one. I glanced over when I heard the screen door open.

“Hey.”
“Hey.”

Silence.

Matt sat down next to me, stealing my cigarettes and taking one for himself.
“You should really quit.” He stated, lighting the cigarette.
“I'll quit when you quit.”

Silence.

“Well this is awkward.” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don't think we've ever had an awkward silence before.”
I shrugged. “Sorry, I'm just in a weird mood.”
He frowned. “Your dad didn't call you, did he?”
I sighed and shook my head. “No, but he will, soon. I don't really know where he is, so it's probably some crazy time right now.”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “I'm sure he'll call, Colie.”

We sat in a comfortable silence while we smoked, and I just enjoyed the feeling of his arm around me. I'm sure my dad would call, he always called on my birthday; it was just a matter of when.

Around 3 the doorbell started to ring, and people started arriving. Jimmy and Beli came first, and Beli looked HOT. I'm telling you, Jimmy is lucky I love him, because I was starting to seriously consider going lesbian and stealing her away from him. She was dressed in a peach strapless dress with leopard tights, peach colored heels, and her tamed curls framed her face like I always wished mine would. After them came Amy, Kim and Gary. They went on for a few minutes about how I was getting older, and how they remember me in diapers, the normal second set of parents stuff. The doorbell rang again, which was my excuse to pull myself away from the cheek pinching, and I literally sprinted to the door. I opened it and saw Zacky, and the chick who opened his door the other day. He ACTUALLY brought her to my party? Is he on serious drugs? Brian's going to kill him.

“Zina!” Brian yelled from behind me.

I swear, my head spun around like the girl from The Exorcist. I watched as Brian ran up from behind me and picked the girl up in a hug. My mouth literally almost hit the floor. What kind of shit is this? Brian knows about the two of us, and about her? And he didn't say anything? What kind of freaky shit are all of them into? I shook my head and darted up the stairs and into my room. All I wanted to do was smoke and be by myself, but in this family, that's not a possibility. As soon as I lit the blunt, someone started pounding on my door.

“No vacancies!” I shouted.
“Open the door before I kick it down, babydoll.” Bella yelled.
I rolled my eyes and opened it for her; getting a new door is a pain in the ass, and she's done it before.
“What's the matter? Why are you up here sulking and …” She sniffed. “Smoking without me?!” She placed her hand on her hip.
I exhaled some of the smoke. “I'd be careful, Brian and his friends are into kinky multiple girlfriend things.”
She scrunched her nose. “What are you talking about?”
“Remember the girl I told you about that opened Zacky's door?”
“Yea, what about her?” She asked, grabbing the blunt from me and smoking it.
“He brought her here! And Brian ran up to her and gave her a huge hug, so he knows her.” I stated, taking it back.
She stopped for a minute. “Wait, you mean the chick with the dark hair and green eyes?”
I nodded and she smacked my head. “I just met her; that's his sister, you idiot.”
My mouth dropped. “His, his sister?” She nodded. “Wow, I'm a moron. I never knew he had a sister.”
“Well, now you do, so can we stop sulking and go back down there and get drunk?” She smiled, clipping the blunt and putting it on my dresser.
“Sure. I still feel dumb, though. What am I going to say when he asks why I've been avoiding him?”
“Tell him you were having vaginal problems.” We both started laughing and made our way back downstairs, and Matt was waiting at the bottom of the staircase.
“Hey, where were you two?” He asked.
We looked at each other and smiled, looking back at him. “Lesbian sex.”

We kept laughing and walked past him to the backyard where I was attacked by more people. Jimbo's parents were here, who he was apparently on good terms with today, Zacky's parents were here, along with the sister I never knew about. After his parent's said hello, and I was introduced to his sister who, luckily for me, didn't remember me from the other day, Zacky pulled me aside.

“Hey you, happy birthday.” He smiled, hugging me.
I hugged back. “Hey, thanks.”
“So why have you been avoiding me?” He asked, jumping right the the chase.
“I actually feel kind of stupid about this ...” I said, looking away.
“What's up?” He tilted my chin up to look at him.
“I, uh, I kind of thought you were banging your sister.”
I could never describe the look of horror that flashed across his face when I said that.
“You thought what?!” He choked out, his face was beat red.
“No, not like that! I thought you were banging her before I knew she was your sister. I went to your house the other day so we could smoke, and she opened the door with bed head, and I just jumped to conclusions.” I explained.
He sighed, “It's okay, I just assumed you'd remember her.”
“I don't think I ever met her before today; well, except at your doorstep the other day.” I chuckled.
“She's older than all of us, so I guess not. So, are we okay?” He asked, rubbing my arm.
I nodded. “Yea, we're cool.”
“Good! So, you want your present?” He smiled coyly.
“Of course! Gimme.” I beamed.

He handed me a small box and told me to open it. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, but when I opened the box my smile went from ear to ear. He had gotten me a beautiful gold ring with a horn clasp to close it.

“Zack, I love it; Thank you so much.” I pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek.
“It's no problem.” He nodded, trying to hide the blush from his face.
I smirked. “Is the great Zacky Vengeance actually blushing?”
“No.” He defended, smirking. “Watch it or I'll show everyone the pictures of you from your 10th birthday party, with your adorable little purple dress.” He teased, pinching my cheeks.
“Watch it Baker, it's my birthday and I'll hit you if I want too.” I teased back.
“Deja Vu, dude. Deja Vu.” We both laughed.

“Come get your grub!” Brian yelled from the grill, putting burgers onto buns.

Everyone sat, ate, drank, and was merry. This was the first big birthday party I've had since I moved; usually mom would just buy some cupcakes and Gram and Grandpa would complain about the lit candle setting their house on fire.

“You started eating without me?” Someone yelled.
I looked over my shoulder, about to tell the person that if they were here earlier they would have gotten food, but was happily surprised at what I saw.

“Daddy!” I yelled, running over to him and jumping into his arms. “I knew you didn't forget my birthday!”
He kissed the top of my head. “I haven't forgotten any of your 17 birthdays, I didn't plan on forgetting the 18th.” He smiled. “Happy Birthday baby girl.”
“Thanks, dad.”
“I just took a 14 hour flight to be here, can I at least get a cheeseburger?” He asked, and everyone laughed.

The rest of the night was great, and I introduced Bella and Andy to my Dad. Mom hated them, but I knew Dad would be different. He was always so much more open then Mom about things, and he didn't judge them by what they looked like, or that they have some slight cursing problems. I liked them, and that was good enough for him. Unfortunately he had to leave again after the party was over, but I understood. He's doing what he loves, and hopefully I can do something I love one day, too; I'm just glad he came. After everyone left, Brian, Andy and Bella said they'd clean up the mess.

I walked inside and up to my room where Beli had helped me bring all of my presents, and there was a note on my bed.

Colie,
Come to my window. Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon.

I smirked and rolled my eyes at the corniness. I knew it was Matt, he was the only person who calls me Colie, I just wondered how he knew that song was one of my guilty pleasures? I left a note for Bella and Andy because I didn't feel like explaining to them why I was going to Matt's house at quarter to 12; I didn't really know why myself. I left my phone on the nightstand, grabbed my cigarettes and walked the few short blocks to Matts. I went around to the side and climbed into his open window. I was surprised when I saw him laying shirtless on his bed, eyes closed, and candles lit.

“Hey you.” I whispered, poking his dimple.
“Hey back.” He leaned up and poked mine.
“You beckoned me?” I asked, smirking.
“That I did.” he nodded.

I climbed over him and laid down on his bed.
“So what did you need?”

He didn't say anything, but instead turned on his side to face me. He leaned on his elbow, and with his free hand traced the locket he gave me that was hanging around my neck.

“You still wear it.” He smiled, staring at it.
“Of course, I wear it all the time.”

His hand traced from the necklace down my shoulder and my sides, to my hip where he let his hand rest.

“I don't know what it is, but I can't get you out of my head. Truthfully, it scares me. You were like my other little sister growing up, but when you came back …” He bit his lip. “You were like … this entirely new person. Your the same, but your different, I can't explain it.”
“Matt-” He gently placed his finger on my lips.
“Just let me finish?” I nodded and he sighed. “It's crazy, because your brother is like my brother, and Zack is like my brother, and I have Val. But, when I'm around you I'm under some kind of spell or something, and none of those other people matter. Is it just me?” He asked.
I moved closer so our bodies were touching and looked into his eyes. “It's not just you, Matty. The only difference is I've felt like this since I was 5.” I giggled.

He leaned down so our foreheads were touching.
“I've been trying, so hard, but I can't stay away from you.” He began running his hands up and down my sides. “I can't control the beast you bring out of me.”
I wrapped my arm around his neck. “Then don't.”

His mouth collided with mine and our tongues fought for dominance. His strong hand reached into my shirt and around my tiny frame, pulling me even closer into his body. I rolled myself on top of him, planting my knees on both sides of his thighs, without breaking our kiss. His hands were roaming my body and his fingers grazed up my left side, making me involuntarily grind my hips into his. He moaned into my mouth and his hands traveled down to my butt, pushing me down to grind into him again. My panties were soaked and I needed something; I needed him.

“No backing out this time?” I breathed.
“Never again.”