Break Apart My Heart

“Are you excited for you’re birthday tomorrow?” Kim asked me, handing Amy and I a glass of chocolate milk.
I shrugged. “I guess so.”
“Ten is a big age.” Kim smiled. “You’ll be double digits!”
I returned her smile. “Yea, I guess it’s cool.”
“What’s up with you?” Amy asked once Kim retreated into the living room.
“I don’t know.” I lied, taking a sip of my chocolate milk.
“You’ve been like this ever since …. Oh.” She stopped herself mid-sentence.

She was about to say ‘You’ve been like this ever since Matt asked out Valary’, and it’s true. Matt and I used to be so close, but that day that Justin knocked into me, changed everything. Matt asked out Valary, she said yes, and he’s pretty much forgotten I ever existed. That was 3 weeks ago, and I feel like my hearts been ripped out of my chest and stomped on repeatedly.

“I’m sorry.” Amy apologized, rubbing my shoulder.
“Not you’re fault.” I sighed, attempting at running my fingers through my hair; failing miserably as my fingers caught in the knotted mass of curls.
“Why don’t YOU talk to HIM?” She suggested.
“If he wanted to talk to me he would.” I reasoned.
“Boys are stupid.” She shot back. “He’ll come to his senses eventually.”
“I hope you’re right …”
“I’m always right.” She grinned, walking out of the kitchen.

I downed the rest of my chocolate milk and gazed out the window sadly, watching Matt dunk Valary in their swimming pool.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

“Nikki.” Poke.
“Nikki, wake up.” Poke.
“NIKKI!” Someone screamed.

I fell out of my bed with a thump as my butt hit the floor. I cursed to myself, hoping it wasn’t my mother and that she didn’t hear me. I glared up at whoever it was, when I was met with my brother’s brown eyes; a smirk plastered on his face.

“Asshole.” I muttered.
“Watch you’re mouth.” He warned.
“You curse all the time!” I accused.
“Yea, but I’m 13. I can do whatever I want.” His smirk grew 10x its size.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”
“Anyway…” He paused. “Happy Birthday!” He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, spinning me around until I felt sick.
“Unless you wanna be puked on put me down!” I yelled, still giggling.

He placed me onto my bed and I fell back words in a daze. I closed my eyes, and I felt like the bed was spinning. I imagined myself in outer space, lying on my bed as it traveled the galaxy, spinning away on its axis; much like the planets.

“Earth to Nikki.” I opened my eyes to see Brian waving his hand in front of my face. “Come on, mom made you breakfast.”

I nodded and ushered him out, locking the door behind him. Its 8 A.M. and Saturday for Pete’s sake! Couldn’t they make me a birthday lunch and let me sleep? Once I decided that my family is entirely insane, I got dressed. I slipped on underwear, socks, training bra, jeans, and a random Tee shirt my mother got me. Looking at the hook on my door, I began dreading the party my mother had planned for tonight. On that hook, held probably the most ugly dress every created in human existence. On that hook, was a purple dress, with puffy sleeves, and more frills and bows than I could even begin to count. I hated it, but she’s forcing me to wear it. Brian tried cheering me up by saying how cool the color was, but that’s just because he loves purple. It doesn’t help that she invited everyone from my class over here tonight for some big formal party, either. Like they don’t hate me enough as it is, she’s going to parade me around in front of them like an ass. At least Amy and the boy’s will be here …

“I’m so excited for tonight!” My mother gushed.
“Yea, it should be fun.” I pushed my eggs around my plate.
“You’re father said he’s sorry he couldn’t make it tonight, but you know how touring is.” My mother frowned. “He wants you to call him when you get a chance.”
“Okay.”

It doesn’t bother me that my dad won’t be here, I get that his job requires him to tour around the world. He’s an entertainer, and a great one at that. I do wish he was around more; mom seems saner when he’s here.

After being on the phone with my dad over an hour, my mother made me hang up. I think she said something about roaming charges? Who knows; I didn’t even know he was in Rome. I hope he brings me back pizza…

The day went by pretty quick, and before I knew it, it was 5 o’clock and I had to start getting ready. The party starts at 6, and no, I’m not looking forward to it. I showered, and my mom put all this gunk in my hair so that the curls were tamed and spiraled down past my shoulders. It actually looked pretty good. I put on the dress and the stockings, hating every second of being in it, and then the Mary Janes my mother bought for me. I looked in the mirror and sighed. I looked like a flipping Barbie Doll on drugs! My mother told me how cute I looked, and showed me off to all her friends that came early.

“Aw, don’t you look adorable.” Zack teased, pinching my cheek. I smacked his hand away and glared at him.
“Watch it Baker, it’s my birthday and I’ll hit you if I want too.” I sneered.
He stuck his hands up in defense.
“She’ll do it, dude.” Brian chuckled.
“Sorry.” Zack mumbled.

We were sitting in my living room, bored out of our minds.

“So all you’re little friends are coming?” Justin asked.
“There not really my friends.” I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Then why are they coming to you’re birthday?” He asked.
“Mom found my school directory and invited everyone in my class.” I glared at her, but it fell unnoticed. She was laughing away with some lady.
“You’re not friends with you’re classmates?” Jimmy asked.
I shook my head. “They think I’m weird.”
“If you’d stop wearing my cloths they wouldn’t think that.” Brian pointed out.
“Hey!” Jimmy interjected. “There’s nothing wrong with being strange.” He smiled, pulling me onto his lap. “I’m strange, and look at me!”
My eyes widened and I looked to Brian. “I’m sorry, I’ll never wear you’re cloths again, I swear!” I joked.
“That hurt, Nikki.” Jimmy glared at me. “We are soooo totally over, now.” He pushed me off his lap and into the seat next to him.
I giggled. “Sorry Jim.”
“You’re forgiven!” He smiled, wrapping his lanky arms around me, nearly crushing me in the process.
“Jim … crushing … let me … go!” I gasped.
“NEVER!” He screamed, hugging me tighter. “Okay, it’s never now.” He stated, finally letting me go.

I heard the doorbell ring and made a mad dash for the door. I wanted everyone to get here already so that we could get this over with. The sooner they got here, the sooner they left. As soon as I turned the doorknob, it swung open, almost knocking me over.

“Happy Birthday!” Amy and Matt cheered.
“Thanks!” I smiled.
Amy wore a pink dress with her hair tied up, something that although I still hated, would have gladly worn if I had to choose between the two. Matt looked … well, damn good, actually. He wore black slacks, and a red button up shirt with his hair combed back.
Amy handed me her present and pushed past me; probably in search of Zack.
“Don’t you look cute, with you’re little frills and what not.” Matt teased, pulling on one of the many frills that hung from the dress.
I glared at him. “I hate you.”
“You love me and you know it.” He smirked. I could never stay mad at him; even for ignoring me for 3 weeks.
“Okay, I don’t hate you. Where’s my present?” I smiled.
“Is that all you want from me, Colie?” He asked, pretending to be offended.
“Yes!” I giggled.
“Fine, here.” He handed me a small box with shiny Green wrapping and a red bow; my two favorite colors. “BUT! You can’t open it until tonight, got it?” He asked, and I nodded. “I mean it Colie, if you open it before then I’ll be super mad at you.”
“Okay I promise I won’t open it!” I rolled my eyes and went in search of Amy.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

“I’m bored!” Amy whined.
“Me too.”

I looked around at all my classmates. Some were chatting, eating birthday cake, and others were running about wildly through my house. My mother didn’t mind, as long as they didn’t break anything. She said that’s the kind of thing that happens when you give 30 kids cake and let them loose. Maybe somebody gave Jimmy too much cake once and he just got stuck?

“Wanna go find the boys?” Amy asked.
“Sure.” I nodded, and followed her into my basement. Sure enough, they were down there lounging on one of the couches.
“Hi Bri- Uhh, what are you drinking?” I asked, staring at the can in all the guy’s hands. It didn’t look like the Soda cans we had.
“Nothing, go back upstairs.” He waved me off.
“Nuh uh, it’s my birthday.” I protested.
He sighed. “Fine, just don’t tell mom.”
“Why? What is it?” I questioned, reaching for the beverage.
He pulled his hand away. “It’s for grown-ups.” Justin explained.
“You guys are only 13, you’re not grown up.” I argued.
“Just let her have a sip; she probably won’t like it anyway.” Matt reasoned.
Brian rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever.”

I grabbed the can from his hands and took a long sip. It was ice cold, and a little bitter, but tasted really good.

“What is this?” I asked.
“Beer.” Zack chimed in.
“Oh. I like it.” I smiled, taking another sip.
“I want some!” Amy yelled, reaching for Matt’s can.
“No freaking way, Amy.” He pushed her aside with ease.
“Why can she have some but I can’t? I’m older than she is.” She whined.
“It’s her birthday and her brother’s beer, that’s why.” He shot back.
“Let her have a sip, man. She probably won’t like it anyway.” Brian mimicked his earlier statement with a grin playing at his lips.
“Fine, but you better not tell mom I gave you this!” He warned, handing her the can.

She took a long sip and her face contorted in a way I’ve never seen before. She spit the contents of the can into the garbage next to her.

“That was disgusting! How do you drink that stuff?” She continued to wipe her tongue and spit into the garbage.
“You’ll like it when you’re older.” Zack stated, patting her head. The look on her face was priceless.
“She better not!” Matt yelled.

Eventually Amy and I sauntered back upstairs; just in time to say goodbye to most of the guests. By 10 everyone was gone, and I went up to my room to go through all my new stuff. I got the new Super Mario game for my Super Nintendo, which was just super. I sorted through the other gifts; cloths, cloths, more cloths, Barbie doll, another game, a pair of earrings, socks … then a box I hadn’t opened yet; Matt’s gift.

I took off the red bow, placing it on my head, and slowly un-wrapped the green paper. The box inside was plain white, giving no hint to what might be inside. I ripped the lid off the top to reveal what might just be, no, scratch that, what IS, my favorite birthday present ever.

Inside was a gold locket, with ‘Colie’ engraved across the top. I opened it up, and inside was a picture of Matt and me from the fourth of July. My hair was in pigtails, and I was smiling from ear to ear while Matt’s lips were planted firmly on my cheek. His dimpled cheeks were as evident as my dimpled chin. I smiled and hooked the locket around my neck.

I opened my door and snuck down the hall, peering into my mother’s room. She had been drinking with her friends, and was knocked out cold. I closed her door quietly and went back to my room. I opened my closet and retrieved the life-size doll someone gave me a few years ago and stuck it under my covers, shut off my light, and closed the door as quietly as I possibly could. I snuck down the staircase and out the door, making my way to Matt’s house. He only lived down the street, so the walk wasn’t very long. Thankfully his room is on the first floor, so there would be no climbing involved.

I tapped on the window, praying that Valary wasn’t there.

The window opened, revealing a very shirtless Matt.
“Colie?” He asked, rubbing his eyes. “What are you doing here?” He stepped aside and grabbed my hands, helping me through his window. I’d done it a few times prier to this, when my mom and dad were fighting.
“I wanted to say thank you.” I held up the locket for him to see.
He smirked. “I thought you’d like it.”
“I do.” My smile never leaving.
“Did you walk here?” He inquired.
I nodded my head.
“Suzy let you out this late?” His eyebrows knit together in confusion.
I shook my head. “Nope. She’s asleep, I kind of snuck out.”
“10 years old and a little badass already. I can’t imagine what Brian’s gonna do with you when you’re a teenager.”
I giggled and laid down on his bed.
“I know it’s you’re birthday, but can I have a present?” He asked.
I leaned up on my elbows and looked at him funny. “What do you want?”
He smiled. “Sing to me.”
“What do you want me to sing?” I giggled.
“Sing Cemetery Gates.” He smiled. “I know you know the words.”
I blushed and hid my head in his pillow.
“Please?” He begged, poking my sides to make me squirm.
“Fine!” I huffed. “But you have to put the song on.”
“Deal.” He smiled.

He went to his stereo and played his tape, fast forwarding until he found the song. He took a seat on his bed, watching me intently, as I waited through the intro. I sang through the first chorus, and he joined in. We both loved Pantera.
When I finished, we hung out for another hour or so, just talking, until he said he should walk me back. He finally put a shirt on and we hopped out his window. He said he didn’t want my mother to be mad at me, but I couldn’t care less. I would have spent eternity with him on his bed, and I think he knows it.