Break Apart My Heart

“Squirrel,”
“Bird,”
“Guy on a bike,”
“Trash can,”
“Horse,”
“Jimmy, where the fuck do you see a horse?” I laughed, taking a hit off the blunt and passing it to him.
“Right there!” He yelled, pointing to a woman in her mid-30's.
I shook my head, “Horse face, Jimmy. She's not on all fours taking children for rides.”
“How do you know?” He winked at me, blowing out a cloud of smoke.
I shrugged, “I don't. For all I know she's got some kinky beastiality kiddy porn ring in her basement.”
Jimmy coughed on the smoke. “We could dress up like Batman and fucking Robbin and save them!”
“Yes! But only if I get to be Batman!”
“You're too short to be Batman!” He argued, standing up to emphasize his tall-ness.
I stood up beside him. “You're not muscular enough to be Batman!” I teased.
“Do you see these fucking arms? These fucking things are god damn anaconda's waiting to pounce!” He started doing some weird karate moves and I just fell back onto the bench laughing.

After Bella left all I wanted to do was sleep. When I woke up I didn't feel like facing anyone yet, so I snuck out of my window to meet Jimmy at the park. I was sick of this love triangle. Granted, I got myself into this situation, but I needed a break for a day or two, or twelve. Plus, I missed my Jimbo; guy's always down for a good time, even if it just entails sitting in a park getting high naming everything you see.

“Hey, whatever happened to that little red man you told me about?” He asked, sitting back down next to me.
“What red man?” I scrunched my face. He's higher than I thought he was.
“You said a little red man was teaching you about water and life! I want to meet him!”
I thought for a few minutes. “OH! Dude, we were tripping on shrooms. I think I was talking to a fire hydrant. If you want to meet him, get me more shrooms.” I smirked.
“Done, done, and done again!” He laughed maniacally, running off on his phone.

Well, I guess the rest of my nights been decided.

I felt my phone vibrate for the hundreth time today when I finally decided to see who needed me so bad.

14 missed calls
3 voicemails
7 text messages

Well, my popularity is sky rocketing today. Most of the missed calls were from Bella, Andy and Brian, one from Zack, one from Amy and one from Matt. I looked over at Jimmy, on the phone talking animatedly to, I'm guessing his drug dealer? It's Jimmy, who knows. I sighed, and decided to listen to the voicemails. The first was from Bella.

“Babydoll, where the fuck are you?! Did you forget there's a psycho running around trying to kill us? Call me the fuck back!”

Well, she's pissed. I had almost forgotten about Ben running around, but it's not like I'm alone wondering around. It's daylight, I'm in a decently crowded park, and I'm with Jimmy. The way I see it, I'll be okay. Next!

“Nicollette, can you fucking call one of us already? Fuck.

Thanks, Bri. Love you too, ass.

“Hey Nikki, I don't know where you are, but our brothers are about to call out a search party for you. You should probably call one of them before the cops get called. Later bitch!

The last voicemail was from Amy, but really? A search party? I've been gone for 3 hours! I'm surrounded by crazy people. 3 of the text messages were from Bella, 2 from Brian, and the last 2 from Matt and Zack, both telling me we “needed to talk”. Why do men never get the hint? I'm not in the talking mood; at least not with them.

I sighed, and called Brian's phone. I figured out of everyone looking for me, funny enough, he might go a little less psycho on me; He doesn't know about Ben.

“Where the fuck have you been? We've been calling you for hours, did you forget how to pick up a fucking phone?” He yelled.
I pulled the phone away from my ear to avoid going fucking def,
“I've been gone for 3 fucking hours and you're all ready to start putting my face on milk cartons. Calm the fuck down, I'm hanging out with Jimbo; I didn't even hear my phone go off.” I lied.
He sighed. “I could fucking kill you right now, we're all going crazy over here. One second you were in your room and the next your gone.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, I'm fine! Call everyone and tell them I'm okay, I'm with Jimmy, and I'll be home later. Bye, love you!” I said, quickly hanging up the phone and shutting it off.

I sighed loudly, running my hands over my face. I didn't mean for everyone to go so crazy, I just needed some time away from it all. Do they do this to everyone they can't get a hold of or am I just the special one?

“Whats the matter, half pint?” Jimmy asked, sliding down next to me.
“Half pint?” I smirked, then frowned. “Wait a minute, I'm not a half pint!” I pouted.
“If I'm a whole pint, then you, my friend, are definitely a half pint.”
“Wouldn't it just be a pint? Not a whole pint? Because if I'm half, wouldn't the normal just be a pint?”
“Banana, banana.”
“Jimmy, you have to pronounce the words differently if you want that phrase to work.” I laughed.
“Says who? Who even invented that rule? What if we both say banana the same way?”
I nodded. “Good point.”
“Anyway, what's up?”
“Sky, sun, planets, galaxies, aliens.” I trailed.
“Are we playing this game again?” He asked.
“No! You won, it's over. Everyone's just freaking because I didn't tell them where I was.”
“Is that why I have like fifty missed calls?” He asked.
I nodded. “Why didn't you answer?”
“Eh, I got the gut feeling you didn't want to be found.” He pat my head.
“Yea? How'd you figure?” I smirked.
“You offered me pot to hang out with you, which by the way I would have done without it, and you dragged me to a park across town that none of us ever come to.” He reasoned.
“Am I that easy to read?”
“I have many powers, young Jedi. Reading people is one of them.” He smirked. “Now, are you still in a 'I don't want to be found' kind of mood? 'Cause if their out looking for you, an open park probably isn't the best of places to hide.”
“Good point, and yes. You got somewhere in mind?” I asked, pushing my sunglasses to the top of my head.
“I know just the place.” He smiled, grabbing my hand and dragging me down the concrete path.

After 20 minutes of walking, and Jimmy pushing me into random alley ways and hiding me behind trees when he thought he saw anyone's cars, we were on one of the main strips in Huntington.

“Jimmy, how are we supposed to hide here?” I asked.
“Just shh.” He answered, pulling me into another alley.
“Did you see one of their cars?” I peeked out to look.
“Nope, we're here!” He proclaimed, pulling out a set of keys and unlocking a door from the alley.
“Jimbo, this is the back of a laundromat. Are we supposed to be here? Why do you have keys?”
“Why do you ask so many questions?” He countered, pulling me through the door.

I looked around at the small studio apartment. It was a combination living room, bedroom, kitchen, with a small door in the back that I'm guessing is the bathroom.

“Whose apartment is this?” I asked.
“A few of us rent this place and share it.” He answered, kicking off his shoes and sitting on the futon.
“Is Brian in on this? 'Cause he knows I'm with you, so they might come here looking.”
“Nope, a few of my other friends. There's 9 of us, and when we get kicked out of our normal houses, we come here. It happens enough that we figured it was a good investment.” He shrugged. “Between all of us, rent only comes to like $25 a month.”
“Not bad, I may have to get in on this with you guys.” I smiled, plopping myself down next to him. “So are we getting any festivities for the night?”
He shook his head. “My guy's all out. I think I've still got a bottle of Jack here, somewhere.” He stood up and made his way to a small cabinet above a tiny stove, and pulled out a half drank bottle of Jack.
I smiled. “My favorite.”
“To hiding!” He proclaimed, raising the Jack bottle in a cheers.
“To hiding!”

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

“Where the hell have you been?!” Bella asked, folding her arms across her chest.
I smiled and rolled my eyes, “Out with Jimbo, mother.”
She glared at me before sighing. “Babydoll, I don't wanna be anyone's mother, but I was worried about you. You never ignore my calls, and I thought Ben found you.” She explained, whispering the last part so Brian wouldn't hear.
I frowned, “I'm sorry, I didn't ignore your call on purpose. I didn't even look to see who was calling, I just figured it'd be Matt or Zack and I really needed a night off.” I kicked off my boots and laid across the couch. She sat down on top of my legs.
“Understandable. Matt was worried sick, he went over to Zacky's because he thought you might be there and we haven't seen him since.”
“Greeeeat.” I sighed. “Okay, I should probably go find one of them, and make sure they aren't dead.”
“Just don't go too far? I don't want that dick spotting you.”
“I'll be fine, Bells. Where's Anders, anyway?” I asked.
She shrugged. “He was with Jimmy yesterday, today he just said he had a date and left.”
I raised an eyebrow, “Did Anders find himself a boyfriend?”
“I'm leaning towards yes, but who knows?” She laughed, lighting up a Marlboro Red.
“Okay, I'm off. Wish me luck?”
“Be careful, don't kill anyone, and … fuck, I do sound like a mom.”
“Bye mommy!” I yelled, skipping out of the door.

Considering the Sanders residence was a bit closer than Zack's, I decided on trying there, first; That and, I needed to let Amy know I was okay. The walk was short and I contemplated going to the front door, but decided against it. I walked to the window and tapped a few times before I saw Matt's bulk figure appear. He opened the window and extended his hand without saying anything, helping to pull me in. I smiled at him in appreciation and glanced towards the wall, where two fresh coats of paint had been applied over plaster. He sat next to me, breaking me out of my thought train.

“Why didn't you call somebody to let us know you were okay?”
“I wasn't aware I had to tell everyone my every waking move.” I spat.
He grit his teeth. “When there's some psycho running around trying to kill you? Yes, you do.”
“I was with Jimmy, and we were in public. I'm fine, aren't I?” I snapped back.
“Nicollette don't fucking argue with me, please? The point is I was fucking terrified you were hurt.” I rolled my eyes.
“Why do you all feel the need to be my protectors? I'm perfectly fucking fine without body guards.”
“Because what if he found you? You couldn't protect yourself that night at the club, how do you plan on doing it now? Did you buy a gun? Pocket knife? Pepper spray?” He crossed his arms over his chest.
I sighed, “No.”
“Oh, really? How did you plan on protecting yourself, then?” He asked incredulously.
“I don't know.” I mumbled, I didn't want to admit he had a point.
“I didn't think so.” He smirked.
“Shouldn't you be off with Valary somewhere?” I spit, in my lame, last ditch effort at winning whatever kind of argument we were having.
“Shouldn't you be off somewhere with Zack instead of crawling through my bedroom window at 8 o'clock at night?” Touche, Sanders. Touche.
“You know what? You're right.” I got up off his bed and made my way towards the door, but his hand swiftly grabbed my wrist, pulling me back down towards him.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.” He sighed. “You just frustrate the shit out of me.”
“Join the club.” I smirked.
“Why aren't you with Zack, anyway?” He asked a few minutes later. “I figured as a new couple you two would want to spend all your time together.” I could hear the jealousy in his voice.
“We're not together.” I answered shortly.
“What do you mean? He told us a few days ago he had this whole dinner planned out for you two.”
I nodded. “He did.”
“So ..” He trailed.
“Well, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I kind of ran out of the house.”
He chuckled. “It's not funny!” I defended.
“It sort of is. Sucks for him, though. Why'd you run out, anyway?”
“I'm not sure.” I lied.
“Well, can I be honest?” He asked.
“I'd prefer it.” I joked.
“Zacky's one of my best friends, but I'm glad you said no.”
“'Cause Zacky goes through a lot of girls, I get it.” He looked down but didn't say anything. “Where's Valary tonight, anyway?”
“We had a long talk this morning.” He started, licking his lips and laying back against his bed. “She told me about the talk you two had, you know. She told me why she's been so crazy lately and I told her she wasn't completely wrong.” Oh shit. “I didn't tell her about you, or us, or whatever, I just told her we are very young and I feel like I should date other people. So, that was it.” He shrugged.
“Do you feel like you still love her?” I asked.
“I'll always have love for her and the person she is, but I'm not in love with her. I was at one point, and I'm not sure exactly when it stopped, but it's been a while.” He admitted.
I nodded, not sure of what to say. I just laid back, leaning my head against his chest and throwing one leg over his. He kissed the top of my head and stretched out his arm, wrapping it around me.

“You wanna watch a movie?” He asked after laying in silence for a few minutes. I nodded. “What do you want to watch?”
“Nightmare on Elm Street?” I smiled.
He smiled, and his dimples appeared in perfect imprints into his cheeks.
“You are the strangest woman I know.” He stated, quoting himself with a bit of modification to it.
“It's a talent.” I played back, giggling.

He pressed play and crawled back onto to bed, maneuvering our bodies so we were in the same position as before.

“You know, this seems much dirtier now than it did when we were kids.” He smirked down, our eyes connecting.
“That's because you used to be a gentleman.” I played.
“Well, what am I now?” He smiled.
“A giant perv.” I broke our eye contact and looked back to the screen. “Now shush, I want to watch people get killed.”
He chuckled and turned the volume up. I sent a text to Bella, Andy and Brian so that I wouldn't have to go through the same shit I did today and put my phone back onto the table. Since I was little I had always felt like I could spend eternity on this bed with just him and me, and the feeling hasn't gone away. If I hadn't been confused before, I definitely was now. The feelings I got with both men were definitely real, but completely different. How was I supposed to choose between day and night? I sighed and turned my attention back to the movie; the war in my head could wait until the morning.