Break Apart My Heart

The weeks went on, as did school, and not much had changed. Valary and Matt were connected at the hip, and I barely talked to him. Amy seemed to like Valary, and Valary and she would have ‘girls’ nights’. It upset me to no end, mostly because I felt as though I was being replaced. Whenever the guys would come over to practice, she’d be there, and again I’d be invisible. I want to hate her, I really do, but I can’t bring myself to. She’s nice to me, and sticks up for me when Brian picks on me; much like Matt used to. He doesn’t even notice anymore. Thankfully, my worries about her stealing Amy came to a crashing halt with one phone call.

“I hate her!” Amy screamed.
“I thought you loved her.” I spat, jealousy dripping from my voice. “You guy’s had girls nights and everything.”
“Well, now I hate her.” She screeched.
“What’d she do?” Curiosity getting the better of me.
“You know how every Saturday Matt takes me out for ice cream?” I nodded, although she was unable to see me. “Valary told him he couldn’t go, because her sister had some cheerleading competition thing and he had to go with her.” She yelled out in frustration. “It’s like she controls his entire freaking life!”
“She kind of does.” I rolled my eyes.
“I’m sick of it, and I hate her.” She stated.
“So I’m you’re back up friend?” I asked, getting annoyed. The only time we’ve talked in the last 2 weeks has been in school.
“Of coarse not, Nikki.” Her voice softened. “But Valary is Matt’s girlfriend; I was trying to be nice to her. Now, I don’t care anymore.”
I sighed. “Okay.”
“Wanna come over tomorrow after school?” She changed the subject.
“Yea, sure.”

We hung up, and I spent the rest of the day hanging out with Brian, kicking his butt in Mortal Kombat on his Sega. He’s been my only support system lately; Mom’s going crazy, and Matt and Amy have been logged so far up Valary’s butt they could have seen out of her mouth.

I woke up the next morning to someone poking me.

“Brian, cut it out.” I yelled, burying my head into my pillow.
“Guess again.” Someone whispered. My eyes shot open with excitement.
“Daddy!” I screamed, lunging myself into my dads arms.
“Hey princess, how’s my big girl?” He asked, catching me in a hug.
“Great!” I smiled. “Did you bring me pizza?”
He put me back on my bed. “What?” He chuckled.
“Mom said something about roaming when I was on the phone with you. Rome is Italian, right? And they make pizza!” I explained.
He laughed. Why is he laughing at me?
“Sweetheart, I think she meant roaming charges. Those happen when you’re on the phone with somebody and you’re far away.” He smiled.
“Oh.” I frowned.
“Tell you what, how about we order pizza tonight?” He asked, scooping me up.
“Okay.” I smiled.
“You’re getting big, I can barely pick you up anymore.” He noted.
“That’s ‘cause I’m 10 dad; I’m an adult now.” I stated.
“Okay, miss adult.” He patronized, carrying me downstairs.

The day went by fast; it always does when Dad’s home. I called Amy and told her I couldn’t come over today. She understood, I don’t get to see him very often. Dad kept his promise, and we ordered pizza, and played Super Nintendo for hours. He even bought Brian a cool guitar, and was showing him new techniques. The day went great, but the night was anything but.

Brian had gone to Zack’s house to show him the new guitar and play while I was stuck home, listening to what may have been my parents worst fight.

“Brian, you’re always gone! How can I fucking trust you anymore?” My mother screamed. I could hear her from my room.
“What do you want me to say, Suzy?! You’ve known what I do since I met you.”
“You’re job isn’t what I’m talking about and you know it!” She countered.
“Then what the FUCK are you screaming about?” He yelled.
“All those women who throw themselves at you all the time! Who the hell is Amanda?! She called here looking for you, you know. If you’re going to cheat on me, don’t give you’re sluts OUR home number!”
“Cheating on you?! Suzie, we’ve been together almost 12 years! Amanda works with-”
“I don’t wanna fucking hear it!” She cut him off.
“You know what? You’re the one who wants to live in this nice, big house, and drive expensive cars. I’d be happy living in a god damn shack!” His voice cracked. “All this, all of this stuff, I do for you. How could you think I’m cheating on you?!”
“Don’t put the blame on me!” She yelled. “And what about the texts in you’re phone from all those women?”
“You went through my phone?!”
“Yes! And I’m glad I did, because now I know what kind of man I married!” I heard glass shattering and banging before I knew I had to leave.

I couldn’t take it, I hated hearing them fight. Especially when my mother is in one of her moods. I threw on whatever I could and slipped on my shoes, running out the front door without being noticed. I ran down the paved streets, letting my feet guide me. Out of instinct, they took me to the same place they always do; The Sanders residence. Tears streaked my face as I rang the doorbell. It was only 7 O’clock, so they should still be awake. The door opened momentarily, and Gary’s face immediately fell.

“Nikki? What’s going on?” He asked, kneeling down to be eye level with me.
“M-My m-mom and d-d-dad are f-f-f-f-f-f” I couldn’t get the words out, I just sobbed.
He hugged me and pulled me into the house. I usually just go to Matt’s window, but I was afraid Valary might be over. It’s bad enough she’s stealing my friends, I wouldn’t give her the upper hand of seeing me cry.

“Nikki?” Kim’s voice shook me from my thoughts. I looked up into the older woman’s worry-stricken eyes.
“I-I-I’m s-s-s-sorry.” I stuttered.
“Shush now, you did nothing wrong.” She sat next to me, wrapping her arm over my shoulder. Gary brought in a cup of hot chocolate.
“I put extra marshmallows in there for you.” He smiled sadly at me and walked back into the kitchen.
“Do you wanna tell me what happened?” Kim asked, pushing my hair back.
I shook my head no.
“Do you wanna talk to Amy?”
Again, I shook my head no.
“What about Matt?”
I looked up at her and sniffled. “Okay.”
She smiled warmly and brought me up to Matt’s room.
“Just knock, sweetheart.” She smiled once more and walked back to the living room.

I stared at his door and took a few deep breaths, trying to subside my hyperventilating. Finally, I mustered up enough strength to bring my tiny fist to the door, and knocked three times. He opened the door, looking rather aggravated, but his eyes eased when he saw the condition I was standing in.

“Colie? What’s going on?” He whipped a stray tear from my eye and brought me into his room. I sat on his bed. “Are you gonna tell me, or do I have to tickle it out of you?”
I chuckled. “M-Mom and d-d-dad were f-fighting aga-ain.”
He chewed on his bottom lip. “Why’d you go to the front door?”
“I-I didn’t wanna interrupt you if V-Valary was here.” I sniffed, suddenly very interested in his wood floor.
He lifted my chin up, forcing me to look directly at him.
“Colie, I love you.” My heart nearly melted. “If you need me, don’t be afraid to come to me. Valary would understand. You’re practically my second little sister.” At his last statement, my head fell back down to the floor; my heart shattering in two.
“Okay.”
“Wanna watch Ghost Busters?” He asked.
I shook my head. “Can we watch Nightmare on Elm Street?”
“Sure.” He chuckled. He stood up and searched for the movie, popping it into the VCR once he found it. “You’re the strangest little girl I know.”
I shrugged. “It’s a talent.”

I curled up onto his bed with him next to me, watching the movie and enjoying his company. Kim came in half-way through the movie to tell me she called my mother, and that I’d be spending the night here. I didn’t mind, I’d rather be here anyway. I was supposed to sleep in Amy’s room, but I wound up falling asleep in Matt’s room after 2 more horror movies.

He loves me like a little sister … I guess that’s a start, right?