Rebel Yell

Why did that have to be Marci for? Why? If there was some kind kindred spirit in the world they shouldn’t have placed us to together again, especial after meeting back up with Cheri the very same day.

I was so shocked at the missing body next to me on that Sunday morning. I had expected her to at least have left a number or an address but yet nothing. I had been stunted, even feeling a little used but neither the less played at my own game and it really hit home how much of a bastard too all the other one night stands. Sure Cheri had all her clingy, sluttish, controlling manipulative ways but still, I felt bad for the way I had ended things with her. But seeing those big blue eyes again sent off an uncontrollable shivers down my back, it was like the cold chill you receive from nails on a black board.

I had hoped that Tuesday would have taken its time but it seemed to speed up on purpose and a gut retching fear took over the initial aspect of the excitement of playing live shows and rendered me nervous to see her again in Sacramento.

“Billie- dude, we are here!” Tres’ upbeat words knocked me silently back into a frenzy of worries that I had been trying to overcome throughout our travel down here. I looked up and around me to look at the bright piercing sky that shun over us and the grey metallic building that stood in front of us gleaming down on me. It might as well have had a sign saying ‘Awkward conversation number two for Mr Armstrong’ nailed to its brown entrance door. I breathed in heavily and shook my head before pulling myself out of the seat and onto the hot gravel floor where Mike and Tre had already begun to do miniature exercises however weird and unnecessary it seemed.

“Hey guys, my name is Paul and we are so glad to have you here today with us. It’s going to be such a buzz” one of the most campest guys I had ever seen appeared out of nowhere shocking both Mike, Tre and myself into stunned grins as he crossed something off on his purple check board. “Ok guys well Marci the tour manager is inside and she is just prepping the roadies with tonight’s plans but obviously you’ll be needing to have a sound check and all those other goodies so we will be meeting her in around an hour for coffee in her room to discus that” he checked his watch and pouted his lips towards Tre who suddenly became very aware of his very short.

I felt the colour drain from my cheeks; maybe I was coming down with some illness because I had never felt as sick as to go speak to a girl before. I grabbed the van door from which I had exited and held myself still as I held my face into the beautiful hot sun hoping that it would help. I wanted to smack myself silly for being so worried about a girl, this Marci and her goddamn big beautiful fucking eyes and her quirky little innocence that is making me go mad. I felt my hand wobble as I tried to stop myself from remembering Saturday night and began to tap my foot anxiously.

“Billie, are you alright?” Mike cast a shadow away from the sun and as I opened my eyes to look at him I knew that soon he’d be having me spilling my guts to him. It wasn’t really that big of a deal because obviously I wasn’t the first person to have sex one night and get away with it the next but I was acting like such a goddamn pussy about her and it made me really wonder if Karma was biting me on my ass.

“I’m fine” I lied but obviously my face opened up like a book and Mike crept forward pulling another face that I had seen once to many times from my mother. It was the face that said, ‘I know you are lying to me, so tell me who broke the vase this time’. “I’m fine seriously” I forged a smile and he shook his head and laughed a bit.

“Yeah really, so I’m not going to assume anymore that this Marci has anything to do with you looking like a ghost every time she is mentioned” and right on schedule Mr mind reader Pritchard storms Billie Joe’s brain once again, I mentally applauded him before pulling a distasteful look.

“I slept with her at Tim’s party on Saturday” I turned my head away from him to stop me from seeing any disapproving looks as words poured out of my mouth like vomit bile and I could feel his light hand tap me on my shoulder.

“that explains a lot of things then but I have never seen you so, so feverish over a one night stand before” I looked at him and he bowed his head as he chuckled a little bit, “just an idea why don’t you speak to her after our meeting and maybe-” he made a weird circling motion with his hands and I chuckled.

“You’ve been watching too much Dr. Phil Mike but I suppose I could do something like get it out into the open with her” I gulped and began to kick little bits of the gravel around on the floor with my sneakers. I had begun now to dread the next hour even more and I had cocooned myself into a pure pessimistic state, so was speaking to her going to be as bad as I had thought.