Rebel Yell

So maybe the whole confronting the situation thing didn’t work out with her but she couldn’t even look at me in that meeting and her hand as it scribbled down things into her tatty little diary shook beyond belief. I had picked up my guitar once I met up with Mike and Tre and strummed madly on it for some sanctuary but nothing not even the blasts of my guitar or the beats of Tre’s drums could knock her face out of my mind. It seemed someone had super glued it to the front of my eyelids and no matter where I turned she was there and my heart would jump a little before the agonising turn in my stomach. It was like being on a rollercoaster with a hangover, nothing could remove it but the adrenaline of the ride was making you want to stay on it even though you felt as if you were about to be sick.

I knew from the looks Mike had given me that he knew I hadn’t said anything and he simply gave me an understanding nod but that gave me nothing except more guilt. But that was a lie even to myself, I was convincing myself that I knew what I wanted to say but I didn’t even understand what I was feeling let alone spill it out to a girl I had only ever met once.

The hours seemed to flash by and once again I was stood in front of a crowd of people with my guitar in my hand and for a brief hour that seemed too short, all that I seemed to care about was my crowd and the fact that even though I was living through some kind of unidentifiable hell they were having a good time. That was all I ever cared about at my concerts, the fact that everyone was having a good time made it a Green Day show. The music had been rehearse many times before and really all a show was, was another band practice and I knew that whatever I made my fans feel like tonight, be it happy, in love, energetic, passionate or relief I was going to receive it back. It was only a small venue but in comparison to some of the five by five shitholes we had played to get here, it was bloody amazing. Marci had done a good job. I looked around paranoid as to who may have heard my thoughts of mentioning her name and I felt myself go red in the face. Although by the workout I had performed tonight, it would be hard to tell that I had even gotten embarrassed at all.

Unfortunately the show didn’t last any longer and soon we were being pulled off stage after playing my signature goodbye to the absolute riot we had caused tonight. There was no chance to linger around unlike the shows at Gilman or to even go join the fans afterwards in fact we were nearly used as battering rams through the ins and outs of the building before being relieved into the cold air.

“That was a good show, good show” Mike applauded both Tre and I as we wondered like lost sheep around a crowd of people standing around two small buses.

“I suppose that they are ours then?” I asked Tre as he bulged his eyes at them,

“I still say that the bookmobile was a better option and at least it was on our own terms. We could enjoy a pleasant Pride and Prejudice every now and again on the road” he spun his drum stick into the air and I watched as it cluttered down into a smaller crowd of people. Their shocked faces amused me at the fact that they didn’t look at the drummer with the one stick but in fact the sky as if some UFO had planted it on them.

“Idiots” I quietly said so that both Mike and Tre heard me and we looked at each other before cracking a smile at the pure delight of our first tour antic.

“Can I hear the Clash?” Mike looked around like some dog that had caught sent of bacon and I watched as he scanned the area for the sound of what seemed to be the Clash. Mike had this talent to hear what he needed too and when it came to anything music wise, he was like a walking encyclopaedia. I followed Mike as Tre bounded off in search to retrieve his drum stick slyly back without running the strange illusion. Mike on the other hand had found himself intertwined with a group of six people who were stood around a little portable stereo.

“Stagger Lee met Billy and they got down to gambling” somebody burst out aloud and I looked at all the amused faces. It was so cold and the guitar in which I had been rushed out with was now beginning to freeze in my hand. “So Billy said, hey Stagger! I'm gonna make my big attack!” The man who had curly ginger hair pointed toward someone who lifted their hands up to their face. What a looser I thought, I couldn’t see who it was but for whatever reason it looked like they were having fun and Mike wondered around the small circle of people looking just as bemused. Slowly I crept forward to see what poor soul was taking the heat, for some reason I was always drawn to this type of fun. I grabbed my tattered guitar and slung its strap around my shoulder. “All together now- Including you” the man pointed again to the same person. He looked like the roadie who had set up Tre’s drum kit, he had told me his name but for the life of me I couldn’t recall it. He said he was engaged to Debbie the chief sound engineer who by the looks of his photo he showed me, was the one stood next to him. She was good looking I must admit, she had blonde hair and eyes like Marci’s, big, blue and damn it I was thinking of her again.

“Why do you try to cheat? And trample people under your feet, Don't you know it is wrong? To cheat the trying man, So you better stop, it is the wrong 'em boyo” they all chimed as I reached the group and Louie smiled nudging Debbie in her ribs who looked really pleased to see me.

“You know something you guys need to get a life” Marci’s voice drowned the moment and I looked to where it was coming from. O shit! She stood in place of the tormented person I had seen; I looked at her and quickly back as she caught my eyes.

“So have you guys met?” Louie said holding back a laugh as he pointed to me then Marci. I grew embarrassed at the fact that I was now entangled into the joke. Mike looked at me apologetically before laughing and mouthed a, ‘just play along with it’. So I did just that, I couldn’t show her how much she was affecting me,

“Well I know she is a feisty little thing when it comes to some things” I said aloud and everyone but Marci laughed I could see her face become incredibly red and her hands began to shake again. Then it happened again, the word vomit of a hidden nastiness that I had appeared, “you and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals” I gave her a wink and her face became posed in shock, those sparkling blue eyes began to fade as they hit her shoes. Everyone cried in laughter again and I bit my lip, this didn’t feel right at all. She looked up and around to everyone who had such glee on their faces from my remark before nodding in defeat.

“I have to go get everyone settled onto the buses” she whispered and disappeared backwards into the small groups of people. I felt like such a jerk.