Never Again

I couldn't help it, but he was on my mind. I wanted to think of something, anything else, but his face clouded my thoughts.

I knew that he was waiting for me; he told me that he was. I didn't even bother to call him back. I knew that he was desperate to see me again.

I was desperate to see him as well.

I couldn't believe what I did to him, and I couldn't believe that he still wanted me. I still thought that he had it coming though.

Zacky was no angel himself. He wasn't perfect. He showed it pretty damn well, when he decided that some red head would be a nice quick fuck.

I just bit down on my lip as I passed yet another sign, telling me where I was. I wasn't too far away from Huntington now.

I heard my ringtone start, and I searched my passenger seat for my cell phone. I quickly found it, and I flipped it open.

"Hello," I asked angrily.

I wasn't exactly in the best of moods because of a terrible night as well. Who would've thought that a cop would believe that someone was actually fucking in my car?

I was alone, and that was enough to convince him that nothing was happening.

To think he thought I was a pair of minors fucking in a fucking car.

"Mommy?"

I sighed.

I just wasn't thinking straight. Of course it would be him.

"I'm sorry, honey. I'm just driving right now." I said.

I wanted to hit my head on the driving wheel right about now.

"When you coming home," he asked. "In about an hour or so, babe. Are you gonna wait up for me?" I asked.

"Yup, I missed ya."

I smiled. At least someone missed me.

"I'll call you, once I get near home. That alright with you?" I asked. "Kay!"

I sighed again.

Nothing really seemed to going right anymore. Everything was shit. I wanted nothing more than to crash my car into one of the many trees around me.

I just kept myself thinking about the many different things that had happened on my business trip.

When I arrived at my home, it was already dark. It was cool, and there was a small breeze.

I took a deep breath of air, hoping that it would calm my soul.

There was something eerie about tonight. The streets were empty, not a car in sight. Every house I saw had their lights all out, including my own.

"I guess they didn't wait up for me," I whispered.

I made my way to the front door with my baggage hanging from my right shoulder. I got my house keys out of my pocket, and I unlocked the door.

I sighed.

There was no welcome home party waiting for me. There was no happy child waiting to be in my arms, saying how much he missed me.

Instead, I got an angry husband waiting on the stairs.

His elbows were rested on his knees, making his hands rested on his chin. His eyes were closed, like he was sleeping soundly.

I knew better.

I could hear him slightly tapping his foot up and down. He was worried.

"I'm back," I whispered. "I know," he whispered back.

It stayed quiet as I set my bag on the ground. I put my keys in the basket on the table near the door.

"So where'd you go this month?" he asked me. I could hear the anger in his words.

I knew where he was getting at. I was used to him saying things like this to me. I knew that he thought I must've been cheating on him by now.

I wasn't though. He was though.

"So who'd you fuck this month?" I asked.

Did I honestly have to ask? I knew who he was fucking. She managed to get my number, she left me not-so-pleasant messages of her and Zacky fucking.

"Do you have to ask?" Zacky said softly. "No, I don't." I whispered.

An eerie silence filled the room. I didn't know what to do, and Zacky didn't move an inch.

"Are you going to leave me?" Zacky asked. He looked up at me.

His green eyes were still shining bright, even though there was no light to shine on them. His bottom lip was slightly pouting.

"Are you going to leave me?" I asked in return.

Zacky looked back down at the ground. He was chewing on his lip. He was wondering what to say to me next.

I knew what I wanted him to say to me.

"I want you to want me," he whispered. "I could say the same thing," I whispered back.

I walked away from him, into the living room. I sat down on one of the couches. I bit down on my lower lip.

What was I going to do with him now?

"What do you want to do?" I heard Zacky ask.

So he does move.

"What do you want to do, Zacky?" I asked.

It was like a game of cat and mouse. I was getting bored, and I knew Zacky was too. It was just a matter of seconds, before one of us were screaming at the other one.

"Aim, just tell me what to do." he begged. "That's my line," I said.

Zacky began pacing. So he was the one to yell now.

"I fucking hate you! You can never decide on a damn thing. You're so damn infuriating," Zacky shouted.

I stood up from the couch. Zacky faced me, glaring. I held myself back from slapping him right then and there.

"Fuck you, Zacky! You're just the same as me. You're a disgusting pig that's never satisfied!" I screamed.

"You knew this marriage wasn't going to work! Why didn't you say something?" Zacky yelled.

I threw my hands in the air.

"How many times did I ask for a divorice?" I yelled. "I don't want a damn divorce. I want a fucking fix-up." Zacky said angrily.

"You can't fix this, babe." I said.

Zacky looked down at the grounnd, and I felt myself shaking.

"It's because of him, isn't it?" Zacky asked. I nodded slightly.

Zacky didn't see the nod, but he already knew the answer to the question.

"Don't try to act like you weren't already going to break up with me for her though," I whispered.

Zacky shrugged.

"You're right," he mumbled.

"I just think we're compatible, Zacky." I said. He shrugged.

"Depends on what you think," he mumbled. I rolled my eyes.

"No, it doesn't. We're not compatible. It doesn't matter how anyone thinks; they know it. It's a fact, hun." I whispered.

Zacky sat down on the couch. I sat down next to him as he covered his face with his hands. I knew he would cry.

"I just thought we could fix this," he mumbled. "I knew we couldn't." I said.

"I thought we'd live happily ever after," he whispered. "I knew we wouldn't," I whispered back to him.

Zacky moved his hands away from his face. One of his hands grabbed one of mine.

"I do love you though," Zacky said. A smile crept onto his face, even with the tears on his cheeks.

"I love you too," I whispered.

Zacky let go of my hand. He stood up, wiping his tears away. He chuckled.

"What are we going to tell him?" He asked. I shrugged.

"That Mommy and Daddy don't love each other anymore," I said. Zacky nodded.

"The truth," he mumbled. I nodded.

I stood up, and I hugged Zacky tightly.

"Don't let go," he whispered. I shook my head.

"I have to," I mumbled.

Zacky would cry again.

I let go of Zacky, and he turned to face me. Sure enough, tears were on his face. I smiled at him, hoping it would get him to smile.

He did smile.

He was so gorgeous. Why couldn't we be happy together?

"Can I have one last kiss?" he asked. I shook my head.

"We need to end this," I said firmly. He nodded, but I could tell he didn't agree one bit.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning." he mumbled.

We both headed to the bedroom, where we slept. It was uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable to know that we would never do this again.