Take It Out on Me

Staring into his ice blue eyes a frown was etched upon my face. He was saying goodbye to me again. “I’m sorry Jess, you know I would take you if I could, I love you.” he said in a calm sweet voice. “Matt, I know but you just got back and for fucks sake I’m five month pregnant with your child! I wish you could take a fucking month off from touring” I spat back. Granted I was being a bitch but honestly they just got back a week ago and now they are off to do “Mayhem Fest” or something like that. He sighs and reaches forward to touch my face but I take a step back. “Listen, I’m sorry. I know you’re pregnant and I know your hormones are all fucked up but stop being a fucking bitch. I’m doing something I love, I have fans and I need to fucking tour so I can get money to be with you. I’m doing the best I fucking can! All I wanted is my girlfriend to come say a nice goodbye to me before I board my fucking plane!” he screams at me. My eyes are widened in shock and I push back my tears. I look up and see the glare set upon his face. “I’m sorry” I mumbled quickly. “Have a good plane ride and text me when you land” I force a smile to him. His glare softens a bit “Jess, honey I didn’t mean to-” I cut him off “I know you didn’t now hurry off you don’t want to miss your plane!” He smiles sadly at me and kisses me softly, he mumbles into my lips “You know I love you right?” I nod and kiss back.

I stand there watching his figure slowly disappear into the sea of people. I let a tear drop fall down as it slowly falls down my cheek and falls onto my growing baby bump I see him turn around one last time before he completely disappears. I turn around and slowly walk I let people shove past me as they rush off to find their loved ones. I finally make it back to my car, after trying to find it for a good twenty minutes. The car ride home was about a thirty minute ride, but I didn’t feel like driving. I drove down the road to a abandon park, I pressed play on the stereo so no one can hear my sobs, of course his voice floats out of the speakers. I put my head on the steering wheel and start sobbing, letting all my emotions of hate and loneliness flow out.

By the time I was done crying it was dark out. I reached into my bag to check my phone. I had three texts and four missed calls, all from Matt. I ignored the texts and the voice mails and I called him back. He doesn’t pick up so I’m guessing he’s busy “Hey Matt, sorry I didn’t pick up, I couldn’t find my phone.” I say as calm as I can. “So, call me back when you get this, I love you and I’m sorry for acting like a bitch.” I say with a sniffle. I hang up my phone and start my journey home, for real this time. My eyes sting like a bitch and all I want to do is sleep but I can’t. I feel my mood turn bitter, I grip the wheel tighter and glare at the road in front of me. Hearing his voice surround me isn’t exactly helping me either. My glare turns harder and I try to just concentrate on making it home safely. I stop at a red light and put my face into my hands and take a deep breath trying to calm myself, stress isn’t really good for my baby. I hear the car behind me honk and look up to see the light is green. I start to move forward but I gasp as I see bright headlights and I let out a cry as I feel something hit my car and as I feel sharp pains all over my body. Then it all goes black.