Fragile

Time had been flying by pretty fast, and I dreaded that because that would mean I would be going back to school sooner than later. It also meant an expansion of my belly which didn’t make me feel any better. It was now June and I was weighing in at two hundred and thirty two pounds. My mother always told me that she didn’t gain much weight when she had me, but she gained a whole lot more when she had my brother.

John was now back at home to spend time with his family. My mother knew he didn’t need to stick around, but she liked the fact that he did come by even though this wasn’t his baby. My father, on the other hand, was still quite furious with John and felt that he should at least stay close by to check up on me, no matter how much he didn’t like him.

The morning after John left, I was sitting in the living room waiting for an old friend from high school to visit. As eccentric as she was, Kara still managed to be pretty calm about the news of my baby. That is, until she saw me. She knocked furiously on the front door and I stood up from the couch and wobbled over to let her in.

“Oh my gosh!” She shouted in excitement and threw her arms around me. “Look at you! Your tummy is so big! How far along are you now? Who’s the father? How are you?”

“Okay, okay,” I laughed and pulled out from her grip. “I’m about 4 months now, John is the father, and I’m starving. So, we should go grab some food now.”

“Oh, uh, you’re kidding, right? John is the father?” She stared at me in confusion.

“Well, yeah. Why? Is that bad?”

“No, no, no! It’s just, I thought you guys were just good friends and I thought he was gay.”

“What? Gay? Ha! Where would you get an idea like that? And what makes him seem gay?”

“Well, for starters, he’s hot and, before this, he’s never tried to get with you. And I never saw him with a girl before. Of course, besides you that is.”

I held my tongue for a moment. Kara was actually kind of right. I had never really seen him with any other girls either. But I never would’ve thought he was gay.

“Yeah, uh, I’m not even sure what to say to that.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean to sound like a jerk or anything. I was just saying—okay, I thinking I’m just digging myself a deeper hole here. Anyway, we should go get you some food. Where to then?”

“Hmm, I say we go to that little diner around the corner from the high school. I don’t care who you are or where you’re from; you have to admit that it has the best French fries this town can offer.”

“Deal. That’s my favorite place.”

We started walking out to her car when I stopped and held my stomach. Kara was ready to sit in the driver’s seat when she saw me standing there.

“Oh my gosh, what’s wrong? You okay? Is the baby coming? Is that possible? It’s too early to deliver!”

“Jeez, Kara, relax. Feel it,” I said and grabbed her hand to place over my belly.

She stood for a moment with worry still on her face and finally looked up at me with a surprised look.

“It’s kicking?”

“At four months? Kara, are you kidding me? It’s just a little flutter.”

“A flutter? How do you know that?”

“Uh, hello? I took Child Development last semester. And, now that I think about it, I’m glad I did.”

“Well, lucky you, huh? Did you plan on that?” She chuckled as she said it and I kept from making any faces except for a small smile.

“Funny how that happened, right?”

Kara wasn’t good at being respectful sometimes. She couldn’t exactly help it at this moment since she didn’t know the actual story behind my pregnancy. I guess I couldn’t really blame her for that.

“So, let’s get going for real this time. I am absolutely starving,” I said and walked over to the other side of the car.

Kara followed my example to the driver’s seat and started driving to the restaurant near the high school. We were seated as soon as we walked in and I immediately ordered my favorite meal; bacon cheeseburger and fries with a soda. Kara was more of a salad person, so I wasn’t surprised when that was what she ordered, along with a side of fries.

“French fries have never tasted so amazing before, except for these,” I mumbled while stuffing a few fries in my mouth. “God bless the person who makes these.”

“I second that blessing,” Kara raised her hand and then shoved some fries in her mouth as well. “No fast food restaurant could ever compare to the—awesomeness of these delectable fries. It’s like heaven, really.”

“And I second that statement,” I smiled and we continued to eat in silence for a few minutes.

“So, if I’m not to being forward,” she began, “what do you plan to do once you have the baby? Have you and John talked it over yet?”

“Uh,” I hesitated and thought about when I first told John what happened and he suggested an abortion. “I—we haven’t really talked about it yet.”

“Since you’re still in school, maybe you could give it up for adoption. It’s gonna be tough bringing it up when you have to keep up with homework and finals—”

“Yeah, Kara, I think I get the point.”

I hadn’t thought about what would happen once I had the baby since I spoke to John about it. I was too upset about his response. But, now that Kara brought it up, I have no idea what I’m going to do.