Fragile

John had been on thin ice since his comment the other day when we went out to eat. He had aggravated me and I didn’t want to talk to him for a while. It would give me time to cool off. I was looking forward to going home for the summer, except for the fact that I was going to have to tell my parents about their grandchild. I still wasn’t sure if John would want to spend that first week with me. After all, he was my best friend and if I couldn’t tell them about how it really happened, they wouldn’t be so angry if I told them it was John’s. My parents loved him.

I arrived at my English class, early as usual. John was sitting in his regular seat, which was next to mine. I paused in the door way and sighed before taking my seat next to him. He had an apologetic look on his face.

“Izzie?” He slid his chair a little closer to me. I wanted to ignore him, but I just couldn’t.

“Yes, John?” I turned to face him. He looked so sad.

“Still mad at me?” He asked, hoping for my answer to be ‘no’. “I really am sorry for what I said the other day. It was wrong for me to say that about your kid.”

I didn’t feel any different when he apologized; I was still mad at him. It was upsetting to me. And, since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve been the most emotional that I’ve ever been in my whole life. I was never this sappy, even when my puppy of seven years died. I even cried during a commercial about a nursing home. How weird is that?

“I’ll forgive you, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not mad, because I am. Don’t pull that with me; you know how emotional I’ve been lately.”

“I’m sorry, I really am.”

“I think I’ll punish you for that,” I turned back to face the front of the classroom. “You know, for being an ass.”

“Punishment?” He asked, looking confused. “What kind of punishment?”

“Well, first off, you have to come spend the first week of summer vacation at my house. And, since my parents will probably be curious as to why you are spending the first week back, I’m going to tell them about my pregnancy and that you’re the father.”

I felt as if it was fair for him to do that favor for me. But, judging by the look on his face when I realized he hadn’t said anything for a few moments, I figured that he probably didn’t agree with my idea.

“You want to tell your parents that you’re pregnant and you want me to pose as your baby daddy?”

“Ew, when you put it like that, then no. You won’t be posing as my baby daddy, I want you to be the father to my child, except my parents will think it really is yours. I think it’s fair; you haven’t been very supportive of me at all.”

“And you think I’ll be more supportive if I’m your kid’s father?”

I could feel the tears begin to fill my eyes. I hate being so damn emotional. His face fell a little when I looked back at him, tears already falling down my cheeks. I kind of felt like an idiot for crying over something so ridiculous. No, John wasn’t the father and he didn’t have to do this for me, but he sort of made me feel like it was my fault for getting pregnant in the first place.

“Um, I think I’m gonna go back to my room. I don’t feel too well,” I choked out between sniffling. I bumped into my professor as I was walking out, and I tried to cover my mess of a face.

“Isabella, you okay? Something wrong?” Dr. Craig was always worried about our well being, or however he put it.

“I’m fine, just not feeling all that great. Can you send me the homework?”

“It’s a worksheet. Do you want it now?”

I nodded my head and he searched through the folder he was holding for the worksheet and handed it to me.

“It’s due at the end of the week. Hopefully you’ll be back by then. Feel better.”

“Thanks.”

I left the classroom feeling upset and worse than I had been feeling throughout the last couple months. I knew I wasn’t all that excited about getting pregnant, but I thought I would at least feel a little bit happy about bringing a child into the world, even if it is a pretty messed up world. And I would’ve hoped that John could back me up on being the dad for me. I thought it was the least he could do, for my parent’s sake.

He didn’t follow me out of the building, and I was thankful for that. I walked back to my room, wanting to lie in my bed and never get up until it was time to deliver the baby. Aren’t mothers supposed to get the depression after they have the kid?

As I was taking the elevator up to my room, I ran into my friend Kelly. She wasn’t a great friend, and she was pretty annoying. I usually tried my best to ignore her, but she got on the elevator behind me.

“Hey there, long time no see. You look different,” she mentioned as she pushed the button for her floor. “Have you gained weight or something?”

Could she be more insensitive?

“Yes, Kelly, I’ve gained weight. Thanks so much for noticing,” I replied sarcastically. She raised her eyebrows and her eyes grew wide as if she was the victim here.

“Sorry, just saying.”

“I’d rather people not point out to me that I’ve put on some weight. It’s kind of, I don’t know, rude.”

“Well, wouldn’t you rather have a friend who will tell you the truth?”

I couldn’t be happier when the elevator stopped at my floor.

“Oh darn, my floor. I’ve gotta go. Thanks for the chat,” I stepped off the elevator and said to myself, “not.”

And she didn’t follow me, therefore I was extremely thankful. I wanted to be alone and not think about anything for a while. I think I needed that. The only thing I was thinking of was my check-up that was coming up in a few days. It was a relief to know I would be getting off campus for the day. That’s something I really needed.