Shades of Love

"That is so lame," Ashton was saying as the three of us walked into my living room to watch some TV. We had nothing planned and this was the only thing any of us could think of at the moment. We wanted to see a movie, but nothing good was playing and they didn't feel like walking around. The only reason for that is because its harder to makeout when you're walking around outside.

"Well, babe, it's just the way it is right now. My parents are leaving this weekend for some trip to Utah and I have to stay with my grandparents for the week until they give us notice that they're back," I wanted so badly to just crank the volume of the TV up, but it was already halfway up to as loud as it could go.

"But your grandparents live in London! That is like hours away, Brett," To be honest, I was glad that he was leaving. Sure, I was in love with him, but having to see him and Ashton together for the past 3 years has only made me feel worse about myself.

I had finally felt like somebody and then when I wanted something for real, Ashton goes and takes it away from me. I know that it's not her fault. I guess she couldn't tell that I was drooling over him when I introduced the two of them at a lunch table in the cafe Brett's first day of school. That day was probably one of the worst days of my life.

At first it was puppy love, but when he started talking it was for real. He's only like that with me though, he can be really deep. I don't think him and Ashton have ever had a deep conversation before.

"Come with me," He said kissing her lips softly. I tried not to notice or stare but they were right beside me on the couch and I was becoming a little uncomfortable. That one soft kiss turned into a heavy makeout session and when they finally stopped and started breathing properly again, they continued with their conversation.

"I have work," She said cuddling up with him and rubbing his toned chest. I wanted so badly to be her right now. Just being able to touch his chest would make my world. I needed to stop this love stuff, she was my best friend and he's been a big part of our lives for 3 years now.

"Who cares. I'm sure my grandparents would love to meet you!" Would I be able to get away with suffocating him with the pillows on my couch, because that would make me feel a hell of a lot better. I was flipping through the channels on the TV, apparently all the newtworks picked today to have nothing good on TV. Esepcially when I needed to be able to focus on something other than the two love birds on my couch. God really hated me, didn't he?

"I don't know ..." She said turning her heard over to me for the first time since we entered the living room and sat down. I just shrugged and then continued to flip through the channels, praying that at least one of them would be able to hold my interest for a little while.

"Come on. Shaney can come too and we can start off our summer there. School's been out for a few days now, so it's not like we're missing exams or anything. When we go back to school, we are going to be in college, lets enjoy this summer," I was hoping to get accepted to a different school then Ashton and Brett, but since we applied to all of the same schools and got into all of them, I was stuck with Georgian with the two of them. Georgian was a good school though, I couldn't deny that.

"Um, I don't know about that," I said, finally able to join in on the conversation. I was hardly ever able to talk when they were both together. Not unless they were talking about stuff that focused on me. Like how I need a boyfriend because I've never been in a relationship before and how they need to start taking me out to parties more often, so that maybe I'll become more experienced. I think they waste their time on all of that because the only person I ever really wanted was sitting on my couch right now, with my best friend wrapped in his arms.

"Seriously, it'll be fun," He said reaching over and punching me lightly in the arm while flashing me his crooked smile that I would die for. With just that one action, I was hooked onto his trap.

"Whatever, If Ashton goes, I will go too," I said feeling deflated and defeated. I really hated the way he could do the simplest thing and have me immediately do whatever he wanted. I was seriously way to head over heals for this guy.

"Fine ... I'm in, but if I lose my job, I'm blaming it on the two of you," Brett laughed, which caused me to smile and so Ashton thought that we found her amusing. Brett might have, but I was way too sulky over what I had just agreed to do, to even want to be amused by her.

"Lets get packing for this ROAD TRIP!" Brett said jumping up from the couch and reaching his hands out to the both of us so that we could get up as quickly as he wanted us too. Great, I'm going to be spending hours in a car with the guy I loved and my best friend, and not to mention the lectures I'm sure to be getting from the two of them about how I need a boyfriend.

Well sorry to say this, but the only boyfriend I want is the boyfriend that I'll never have.