Mutatio

"So what are you doing today Lor?" Ashley asked, handing me a plate, glass, and fork.

"Not rally anything...." I mumbled. I didn't mention Romeo, I didn't even know if I was going with him or not. "Do you know what we're having for breakfast?"

Ashley shrugged and we sat at the little breakfast bar where our fabulous friend Angie walked out with two covered trays emblazened with out names. Angie was beaming, almost begging us to ask her about them. So I did.

"Where'd you get the trays, Ange?"

She gestured proudly to her apron. "I am officially the soul apprentice to the fabulous Chef Bleu." Ashley and I looked at her confusdly, making her gigle. "He's the chef that caters for Ashley's studio! He said that he wanted me to practice being a host, since Chefs often have to be hosts to important guests. I thought the two of you were important enough to get these for you. ^.^"

Ashley and I applauded melodramatically , making her smile only grow wider.

"Enjoy." she concluded and bowed, permitting us to eat.

I smelled it before I even opened the lid all the way. The onions, the garlic, the bacon-filled fantabulosity. It smelled so good that I started eating it without really knowing what it was. I didn't care if I knew what it was-- it was the most delicious thing I'd ever tasted. I glanced over at Ashley, who seemed to be having the same reaction, and then to Angie, who was the same, if not a little more ravenous. Angie'd always lovedto cook, so it was no surprise that she was a natural. Honestly, Ash and I were surprised that she hadn't gotten the appreticeship years before. Ash and I, we'd fullfilled our dreams, and been succesful since. Angie had never been like us, never wanted fame, she knew it would only cause trouble. Trouble....

I shook the thoughts from my mind and looked down at my empty plate. I wish I'd known what I was eating so I could ask for it again. Ah well. I thought. As long as Angie was in the house we'd never have a problem with bland food.

My mind wandered to other things and ended up stopping on the first thought I had when I woke up.

Shit...

"I'll be right back, kay?" I told Ashley, who nodded.

My cellphone was lying on the desk in my room, casting green lgiht about the walls. It flashed a missed call from- I groaned- Tom.

"Shit...." I mumbled. I was hoping he wouldn't call again.

The message was rushed and panicked, making me feel far more guilty for not calling, no matter how late it was. I took a deep breath, pressed the redial button, and held the phone to my ear.

"Lor? Oh my god, I almost thought it wasn't you." Tom's voice was raspy and concerned, though it sounded more relieved than anything. I didn't know how to responde.

"Oh, uh, hi to you too Tom." I said. What else was I supposed to say.

"Lor, Bill's getting worse. You should see him, it's terrible."

I bit my lip. "....What do you want me to do?"

I heard Tom yawn. He must be exhausted.

"Tom, he won't even talk to me. How am I supposed to help if he won't let me--"

"I don't know!"

Tom's outburst shocked me. As long as I'd known him, I've never heard him shout. I suppose he was just worried about his brother, and I suppose he was pretty made at me too.

"I'm sorry, Tom."

He didn't answer for a minute, but the anger had gone out of his voice when he did. He sounded almost like he was crying.

"Why would you do that to yourself, Lor?" I bit my lip. "It was the accident, right? With your classmate? That's what made you do it, right?"

I wanted to comforthim, to tell him that it was OK, but I knew that no matter what I said, he wouldn't accept it as the truth.

"Yes."

"Don't lie to me!" he cried. I could hear his breath catching. "You're selfish! You dn't care about us, that's why you did it! You dn't care about anything, Lor, you'd rather live in your own made-up world than the one we're in. You're such a kind, Lor, you're too young to be thrown into the world like you have and you can't handle it! Just.... just get over yorself!"

Tom was out of breath and it was easy now to hear that both Georg and Gustav had come into the room. I heard Tom shoo them away and after a moment of harsh whispers, they complied.

When I thought it might be safe, I spoke. "Tom?"

"What?" he hissed.

"Don't forgive me."There was no answr, even while I waited for one, so I continued. "I wish I could do something to help, you know, with Bill, but unless you can think of something, there's no way I can. So you might as well just do it on your own."

He heasitated. "What am I supposed to do?" He sounded helpless again.

"Well, that depends. Does...." I bit my lip again. I didn't want to know the answer. "Does he hate me?"

"Yes."

My heart sank, but I knew what he needed,

"Make him eat first. Tell him that you don't know where I am, and that Ashley and Angie don't know either--"

"Why?"

"Just do it Tom." I was getting impatient. "Talk to him. He won't answer at first, but he will after a while. Just talk. Comiserate with him. Make him.... make him hate me more."