Starving Secrets

"Jericho?" The sound of gagging could be heard from the next room. "Jericho, please.." I sighed as my forehead met the door, my voice quiet, a note of desperation in it. More gagging, but this time a splash is noted, along with the flush of a toilet.

The rattle of pills in a medicine bottle taunt me. "J-Jericho, come out.." The door opened, revealing my lost prince. His face had a sickly yellow tinge to it, making the skin resemble parchment.

Pulling him closer, I grabbed Jericho into a gentle hug. "Slick," I whispered, using his long worn nickname, "Please don't do this to me. I love you." Releasing him, his hands dangle motionless at his sides, his eyes blank. I refused to give up hope that my boyfriend would come back. He'd been replaced by this..this thing, that I don't even know.

Pulling softly on his hand, we walked back to my room. I climbed over the blankets and let Jericho rest his lovely head on my lap. His breathing evened out and soon sleep fell upon him.

My mind, however, is plagued with visions, worries of him slipping away from me forever. Earlier this week he had collapsed on the walk home from school, and I had carried him all the way to my house, evading the questions of my parents.

This..this sickness is taking control of him. Once he had kissed away my tears, whispered how he dreams of my eyes, only mine. My heart fluttered, my breath hitched, thoughts of him were carried everywhere I roamed. We had suffered through hell. The day my brother had died, he held me for hours, keeping me sane.

I still remember the day I met this beautiful creature. He had stepped into my life, unwanted. The day he moved into the empty house across the street, I labeled him 'weird' and ignored him. He used bad pick up lines, for which I dubbed him Slick.

Then one day, one year ago, things changed. "Hey, gorgeous, I forgot my library card." He told me, a smirk on his delicate features.

I scoffed, "And?" Now a full fledged grin, he skipped around me, letting out these cute little hiccups. I sighed, walking around him. The clouds had gotten dark on the walk home, and Jericho had followed me, as usual, the whole 15 minutes.

"Can I use yours? Because I'm checking you out." He declared in a sleazy voice. I laughed at the corniness in his words. Raindrops started to fall, as if the sky were a painting yet to dry. I stuck my tongue out and pushed past him, making my way down the road, grumbling about how my hair was going to frizz.

But Jericho had other plans. Grabbing my hand, we ran, or rather, he dragged me, underneath a nearby willow tree. I gazed around, surprised at how fast the rain started to slash across the horizon. Jericho looked at me with a genuine smile.

"Alison? I-I just..Are you cold?" I shrugged, noticing that goosebumps had risen on my arms, making me shiver. He pulled off his jacket and laid it across my back, against my protests.

He surprised me with an extremely blunt question. "Will you ever love me?" I frowned, thoughts of his half hearten pick up lines flashing through my head.

"Uh, no?" But I regretted it instantly, pain flashing through my chest as his eyes seemed to stop sparkling then. His shoulders slumped and he looked around, embarrassed.

Realizing he was serious, my heart rate increased rapidly. Unsure of what to say, I stood there in silence. After about five minutes, Jericho turned and walked out into the rain.

"Jericho! Where..where are you going?" He shrugged.

He walked the general direction of our houses and I leaped after him as he started to run. I followed, thinking that he was just trying to get out of the rain. I grabbed his arm as I caught up to him and he stopped abruptly. The only reason I noticed he was crying were his eyes, swollen and bloodshot.

On impulse, I leaned against him and pressed my lips to his, only slightly, our breath tingling, foreheads touching. His eyes looked into mine with questions he was too scared to ask.

"I lied." I whispered, catching his mouth in mine.

Those were the days I lived for. Still live for, actually. Jericho changed these last couple of months. But I never gave up on him. The sickness that chased him, I only gave him my love, helping him through it.

He'd stop eating, frequently making excuses, always commenting on how 'fat' he thought he was. I had no clue how he came across these evil thoughts, but that's that. One day, he kissed me with all he had, the next day, he set down his fork and glared at the school's lukewarm lasagna as if it were the cause to all his problems.

His ribs shone through the skin beneath his chest, his face had hallowed out, leaving a ghostly looking appearance of my only love. The green of his eyes dulled to an uncaring depth, and I had to ignore the feeling of betrayal every time I kissed him, feeling as if..I wasn't kissing Jericho, but some stranger.

Soon, I submitted myself to a dreamless sleep. It seems as if another lifetime passed by before my eyes flashed open. The alarm clock on my right read the numbers five forty six AM.

Kissing Jericho's forehead, I realized that my parent's hadn't once come in to tell him he needed to head home. Wondering why, but really just feeling grateful, I leaned back against the headboard, my back stiff from hours of sleeping in this position.

"Hey..sleepy head, wake up.." I whisper, rubbing Jericho's cold back. No response. I smiled, rolling him over slightly. His eyes stared unwaveringly at the wall, his face sheet white.

The air in my lungs died as I stared for what seemed like hours at my dead boyfriend, which in truth was probably about thirty seconds. Then a startling cry came from deep within me, soft at first, my heart shaking, bursting from pain.

Then it rose and grew into a long screech, piercing the hearts of thousands of angels. Hands were shaking me, but the room seemed to have been fake, everything surreal. Jericho's face, not moving, not alive.

My world had ended, and I don't know why. Who had told this precious boy his body wasn't good enough? Why had he believed them, over me? There are many questions..but no one dares answer me.

Today, I went to school. The counselors tried to speak with me. I ignored them. People had offered condolences, I shook them off.

The others..the ones I suspected of treachery, I had screamed at, breaking out of the numb pain I called living. "Why?! Why did you have to break him! He was mine! You..YOU STOLE HIS HEART, YOU BASTARDS! WHY?!"

I'll never know why. I'll never know why he chose to throw away the apple, never bitten, untasted. I'll never know why he shoved that toothbrush down his throat, letting all the pain and sorrow overtake him. I'll never know.

And that's the worst part of living.