This Animal I've Become

Addie had gotten up just before lunch time the next day. She felt drained because of the sudden time change. Even though it was just an eight hour time difference, it was enough to feel sluggish from the sleeping change. Usually she was up around eight in the morning, if not a little earlier, and since she was home schooled she had the ability to lounge around in her pajamas all day if she wished. Now, this was not the case, she had to look at least some-what presentable.

The girl went through her normal morning routine; go to the bathroom, take a shower, get dressed into a pair of black skinny jeans and a faded black Ramones tee, fix her still wet hair, brush her teeth, and apply a little amount of mascara to her eyes, not needing to make her blue eyes stand out even more. Addie never really was into caking her face with makeup. On the contrary, she thought the less she had on, the better she felt about herself. Without the makeup, it made her feel like she was being more like herself, which felt like a luxury most of the time.

After preparing her image, she got her necessities ready. She grabbed her small, shoulder purse and put in all of her belongings that she may need for the day. She put in all the money that she had into a pouch and into the purse, then her list of school supplies, her room key, and finally, her wand. Once Addie had all her things into her purse, she made her way down into the Leaky Cauldron for lunch with Wuthering Heights, a famous muggle book, in hand.

The night before she had ate at the Leaky Cauldron and didn’t recognize half the items listed. Whether it was because it was a wizard establishment or because it was a different country all together, she spent at least fifteen minutes trying to find something that sounded appetizing. There were some random names like ‘Toad-in-the-Hole’, that she didn’t even know what the dish was made out of. She ended up eating fish and chips, something that she at least knew what the ingredients were.

As she ate, her mind trailed to the three peculiar boys she had met the day before. They were all nice and welcoming to her. But were they too welcoming and willing to accept her into their group? She didn’t know whether she should just let herself be immersed in the group or just become an acquaintance to them. Were they trustworthy? What if they weren’t as they seemed to be? Did she even want to get too involved with people?

But if they were the right type of people, she could see herself being friends with them. Sirius was charming, and the most outgoing of them all, but she was sure that was just part of his charm. Then there was James who seemed to be the most defiant out of them all, even though Sirius also seemed like he went down that road, James acted more like a leader than his other half. He had a cocky attitude at times, but his good personality had balanced out the cockiness. Addie smiled lightly at the thought of them being actual brothers and what a burden on their parents the two of them would be. Then finally there was Remus, he was different. Addie couldn’t see how he fit in with the other two boys, but she could see that he kept the other two in line. Then there was the fact that those damn butterflies had awakened around him, something she didn’t need or want at the particular moment. He wouldn’t want anything to do with her if he knew about her, she couldn’t tell him, or anyone for that matter, anything.

After she had finished eating and dwelling on her new acquaintances, she opened up her book to where she had left off earlier and waited for her tour guides to appear in about an hour.

Remus sighed as he looked down at two different shirts laid out on top of the bed. They were two of the nicer shirts had. Most of them were old and faded or had some holes in them. One shirt was his favorite one, a plain gray-blue shirt that he made sure would not gain any holes or damage over the course of the few years that he has owned it. The other was a white polo with thin navy blue lines that ran horizontal across and around the shirt. He was surprised that most of his clothes still fit him due to his recent growth spurt over the past year; there were only a few shirts that he had to retire along with a few pairs of pants as well. Remus had felt bad when they had to go buy a few new sets of clothes, but his parents told him that it wasn’t a problem. To Remus, spending the little money they had was a problem.

Usually Remus did not fret about his appearance or worry about what he was going to wear for the day. It was usual for him to grab the first shirt on the pile and maybe even, if he felt like it, grab a matching pair of pants with them. Honestly, he did not want to admit the reason behind these sudden turn of events. Remus never dressed to impress anyone; especially girls though, because shouldn’t they like you for who you are and not what you look like? All this logic went out the door when Addie Ferrari came into the picture. In all honesty, he thought his clothes were all pretty embarrassing with the tears and holes, and the last thing he wanted was to show how poor he was to her by not being able to afford new clothes when his current ones did just the job he needed them to.

No, Remus, you are not going to be worrying about your clothes for some girl, he scolded himself as he grabbed his favorite shirt with a huff. You are going to ignore these feelings all day, he thought as he slipped on his shirt and walked into the bathroom. Even all year if you have to…No girl deserves to be with a monster, he thought darkly as he stared at his scarred reflection in the mirror.

He tore his eyes away from the mirror and finished getting ready for the day. Once he was done he headed downstairs for breakfast. Remus was staying with the Potters until two days before school was to start. Sirius had run away from home earlier in the summer and was currently staying with James. James’ parents always treated Sirius like a second son, not like they had treated Remus any different from Sirius, even with knowledge about his lycanthropy, but Sirius held that charm that made him so likeable by them. Sirius held conversations with them while Remus sat back and replied with the pleasant responses whenever spoken to by the two of them.

Remus always was slightly envious of the relationship that Sirius and James had, but he always convinced himself that it was for the best that neither of them had any serious, unbreakable bond with him, because he was a werewolf. Werewolves were destined to be a lower class than everyone else and be seen as the dirt on the shoe of every witch and wizard; even if they had friends that made them feel like an equal. In other words, he was lucky to have James, Sirius, and Peter to stick around with him, even if he was werewolf. They were his brothers. But he always wished he had that one person that wouldn’t hesitate to be on his side, wouldn’t think twice if they were asked if they would die for him, someone who knew him inside and out, and would tell him everything they were thinking about, no matter how insignificant the thought was. That was what Sirius and James had. Even if James and Sirius, and even Peter, wouldn’t think twice about laying out their lives for him or being on his side, there was still that level of connection that he was missing with them. And for the life him, he could not seem to figure out what it was. He always brought it back to the fact that he was a werewolf, and the world to him was never going to be the same as it was to them.

Remus shook his head from all thoughts and got his breakfast ready. The Potters were already at work so the boys had to fend for themselves for food. Remus took his time getting his toast ready, buttering up his three slices, and pouring himself some juice that he had found in the refrigerator. He then took a seat at the small breakfast table in the kitchen and began eating his breakfast.

Getting bored of mindless eating, his eyes traveled to the Daily Prophet that was laid out on the table. The main article was about an apparent attack on a wizard family on the outskirts of London. The attacker left none alive in the home. There was a husband, a wife and three children all under the age of eight, who were all killed. Then their muggle neighbors were also killed, but the Prophet didn’t go into much detail with them. Remus wasn’t stupid and realized that these attacks were done by none other than a dark wizard that called himself Lord Voldemort who was currently on the rise, and has been on the rise ever since Remus had started going to Hogwarts. Voldemort was looking for followers to join his army and become Death Eaters; he was a powerful, power hungry wizard who stuck fear in many.

Remus would be lying if he said that he wasn’t the least bit afraid. He was not a pureblood, but he was still a half-blood and not a muggleborn, so he was not sure if he would ever be targeted to be recruited or killed. But he was friends with Sirius and James, famous at school for being the smart (top of his class, sharing his title with Lily Evans), and was skilled when it came to Defenses Against the Dark Arts, so he had a feeling that word might reach Voldemort about him since he was recruiting students straight out of Hogwarts. If he wasn’t recruited, he realized that he may be killed just to prove a point or because he was a werewolf, but even he knew about a small organization that had recently started that worked against Voldemort. Remus was pretty sure that he would never be able to find a steady job due to his lycanthropy, so he hoped that joining this secret organization would help him feel the least bit useful in the world.

When it came to the recruitment, he was more worried for James’ family more than anything, they were considered blood traitors. James was a pureblood, and in the eyes of Voldemort, worthy of staying alive and following his orders. Even James was not brainless enough to become brainwashed into believing that the muggle world needed to be annihilated; he was in love with a muggleborn for Merlin’s sake. Then he was concerned for Sirius, because he was one of the few Blacks who dared to defy the pureblood traditions and family rules and had no problem boasting about how all the purebloods’ ideals were plain bollocks. Sirius too, was hard headed and stubborn when it came to the subject of purebloods, so would not become dense enough to trail along after what family had represented.

When he was three quarters of the way done reading the article he had finished his toast and juice. He put down the paper and went to the sink to wash his dishes. Once the dishes were clean he grabbed an apple from a container on the counter, washed it, and began to eat it. He then returned to his seat and continued reading the article.

Usually it wouldn’t be for another half an hour or so until James and Sirius woke up. It was customary for Remus to go and wake them up by eleven thirty, if they had not already stumbled out of bed, so that they could at least eat a proper lunch on time. Luckily for him the two boys voices could be heard from where he was sitting, so there was no need to put himself in danger of an ambush from James or Sirius for waking them up ‘too bloody early’.

The time was quarter to eleven and Remus could hear heavy footsteps on the stairs as he read other menial stories in the paper. As they made their way into the kitchen, Remus smirked at their disheveled appearances. James’ hair was sticking up more than usual, his glasses sat crookedly on the bridge of his nose, and his shirt was creased in several places. Sirius wore nothing more than his boxers, but even those were twisted askew on his hips. His hair which reached just passed his ears was tossed in awkward directions, a rare change from his usual tame and perfect look.

“Morning,” Remus said in a chipper tone, knowing that being a morning person made the other two groan in protest to his attitude.

James replied with a mumbled, “Mornin’”, before yawning as Sirius grumbled incoherent words. It wasn’t until food got into their systems that they seemed to liven up and start their chatter. Sirius and James started to debate on whether they should do the traditional Back to School Prank during the feast or during breakfast on the first day of classes. It was already clear to Remus which time would be better, but decided to wait until they asked for his opinion before voicing it.

The two boys finished eating and put their dishes in the sink before going upstairs and getting themselves ready for the day as well. Remus counted down back from 43 seconds, a smile lazily displayed across his face as he knew what was about to come. Forty-three…thirty…twenty…ten…

“If we did it during the feast, the prank would seem so brilliant. No one would see it coming.”

Four
“But the morning would be better because we can see the effects longer and test it to make sure it works before we use it. And have more time to set it up.”

Three
“Let’s just ask Moony, yeah? He always knows better.”

Two
“MOONY!”

One
James and Sirius strolled back into the kitchen, changed into muggle clothing and their hair more managed…well, at least as managed as possible for James. Remus smirked at them as he set down the newspaper. “Yes?” he inquired with a raised eyebrow.

“Feast or breakfast?” James asked quickly.

Remus smiled for a moment at James then at Sirius and then said, “Breakfast.”

“Ha!” James exclaimed as his arms shot up in triumph while grinning at Sirius. “I told you breakfast was a better time.”

Three hours later, three teenage boys emerged from a fireplace, dusting themselves down from the dust of the Floo Network. It was currently two o’clock on the dot and the tallest of the three was actually surprised that they had made it to the Leaky Cauldron on time. The other two rambunctious boys wouldn’t get off their brooms until the last possible second. Then they took the quickest showers possible. The boy with the longer hair still had water droplets soaking his shirt as his dark locks of hair still held moisture in them.

“Oh, Addie!” shouted said boy in a sing-song voice.

“Oi, Padfoot,” scolded James with a nudge of his elbow, “Use your eyes will you?” He then pointed at a girl near the back corner of the room with a book in her hands.

Sirius smiled and then trusted his hands outward to open his arms. “My love!” he exclaimed in a playful manner which made Remus and James shake their heads. Sirius then led the group of three though the tables to reach the one where Addie was currently residing.

Remus smiled slightly when he saw the look of complete concentration on her face. She was completely engrossed in her book, unaware of the happenings around her. As they got closer he couldn’t help but stare at her bottom lip that was currently being sucked and bitten on by her teeth. He closed his eyes for a little longer than a standard blink and with a shake of his head, willed the image to be erased from his memory. But he knew that the picture, that made his stomach churn, would be burned into his memory no matter how hard he tried.

Upon arrival to the table, Sirius thought that it would be funny to snatch the book away from her hands. It was an act he did with Remus on several occasions, earning the usual annoyed sigh or grunt and pleads for return of his book. He expected the same from the girl.

As Sirius reached out to grab the book, Addie’s hand had shot out from under the book and grabbed onto his forearm with a firm grasp, earning a yelp in surprise from Sirius and wide eyes from the other two boys. Her eyes had never left the page she was reading as she continued to say in a pleasant, even tone without removing her eyes from the book, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Do what?” Sirius asked trying to fake his innocence.

Addie finally lifted her eyes from her book, just to smirk up at Sirius’ false expression. “I’m almost done with this chapter,” she then stated before letting go of his arm and returning back to her book. “Just count to twenty.”

Sirius grinned widely. “One,” he said loudly, to the point of annoyance. “Two.”

“Three,” James said joining in, sharing a smiling with Sirius.

“Four.”

“Five.”

“Six.”

“Seven.”

With each number their voices had gotten louder. Sirius had moved over to the other side of Addie to shout his numbers to her right ear as James spoke to her left ear. Remus sighed at his friend’s antics and sat down in the seat opposite Addie and watched the two boys try and annoy the girl. He looked to Addie and noticed that no annoyance had shown in her face, it was as if she hadn’t noticed that there were two boys shouting down at her ears.

“Eighteen.”

“Nineteen.”

“TWENTY.”

Addie snapped her book shut and said sweetly, “Done.” She then smiled before unintentionally connecting eyes with Remus across the table. Remus felt his heart speed up slightly as they locked eyes. He gave her a lopsided smile back and felt the heat rise up his neck slowly.

She held the gaze for a little longer than necessary. Addie, herself, didn’t know why she did; even when she recognized the uneasy feeling in her stomach. She couldn’t help it though; she had felt a connection with him since the beginning and couldn’t bring herself to reject it. When she had realized that she was practically staring at him, her face flushed lightly which went unnoticed by the boy sitting across from her. Addie took this reaction as a bad sign seeing how she usually never blushed about anything, the heat on her cheeks was a foreign response to these sorts of situations.

Remus didn’t know how long they had locked eyes. But what had felt like minutes was actually seconds. It had seemed the world around him had disappeared, for just those few seconds, and it was just the two of them. He could hear his own heart beating in his ears as it pumped at a fast pace. His blood had never rushed this much from a simple look from the opposite sex, but it seemed as if Addie could send him into a pile of mush with a just glance in his direction. His plan on ignoring his feelings was not working.

“Good God that took forever,” Sirius stated dramatically along with the dramatic sigh to go along with it.

Addie took this as her sign to turn her gaze away from the boy in front of her and looked up to Sirius with a small smile on her face. “Haven’t you been told that patience is a virtue?” she asked in a charming voice.

“Maybe,” he replied with a frown, “but why would I remember something useless like that?” He then let out a soft chuckle.

“Alright,” James then said, “put that ruddy thing away. It’s time for your own personal Marauder tour of Diagon Alley.” Addie simply laughed and put away the book in her purse and followed them out into the small town.