Breakeven
fourteen.
"Sometimes closure doesn't close out anything at all."
Jonathan Toews didn't need closure.
He knew deep in his heart Alexis still loved him. Their relationship was too perfect for her not to still harbor feelings for him. She was his best part, the light in and of his life. Hockey was great and his career was taking off, but it would've meant nothing without Alexis by his side.
She ran away when he proposed because she was scared. She was scared to marry someone she knew would be away so much. She was scared to raise kids alone during the season. She didn't run because she didn't want to marry him, Jonathan was sure of that. This is why when Reese suggested he get some closure he was close to furious. He didn't need closure- he needed Alexis back. And that was exactly what he was planning on doing. He was going to bring every single romantic bone in his body together to get Alexis back. He had even resorted to his teammates for help.
"Fuck her in the middle of her kitchen!" Kaner suggested, laughing widely after the fact, Adam Burish egging him on.
"Just talk to her Tazer, use big boy words," Sharpie half joked.
"Don't ask me," Buffy shook his head as he laced up his skates.
"Married people are different!" Colin Fraser said, holding his hands up defensively.
"Agreed," Troy Brower nodded.
Jonathan sat down in his stall and took a deep breath, taking fistfuls on his ever growing locks and putting his head down. That was the last time he ever asked his teammates a serious question. Well, together at least. He knew one on one conversations were a little different when talking about your personal life, but when everyone was together being serious was the last thing on everyone's minds.
During practice Jonathan thought long and hard about his current predicament. Reese's never ending advice to him was to forget about Alexis, and to talk to her only to gain closure and make things easier on himself. Her suggestions, to him, seemed stupid simply because he was sure Alexis was still every bit in love with him as he was with her. He knew the hell he would have to pay from Reese for what he was going to do, but he felt that everything would work its self out. Once Reese saw him and Alexis back together she would apologize for jumping to conclusions and basing her opinions off of her own failed relationship.
After practice he showered and dressed in his street clothes quickly, only one thought on his mind. He was slightly nervous about seeing Alexis up close and personal again. He yearned to touch her skin, smell her perfume, feel her body pressed against his. He practically sped to her apartment at the thought of her throwing herself at him as soon as she opened the door, kissing all over his face and apologizing over and over again.
The doorman immediately recognized him, not because he was the captain of the Chicago Blackhawks but because he was Alexis' boyfriend, and smiled widely at him. Once he was inside the elevator his nerves began to kick in and he began to nervously fidget with his hands. The elevator stopped abruptly, the doors opening to her floor as Jon's heartbeat quickened.
Jonathan couldn't remember a time in his life when he felt his entire world come crashing down around him quite like when the door to Alexis' apartment open and a man stood on the other side of it. Even watching her walk away while he sat there with an engagement ring couldn't compare to the pain he felt when he saw a man standing there.
"Hey," he guy said brightly, sticking his hand out for Jonathan to shake. "Jon, right?"
"Uh, yeah," Jonathan said awkwardly, sticking his hands in his back pockets.
"I'm Todd," he smiled. "Hold on one minute," he said. "Lexie!" He called over his shoulder. Alexis came scurrying out of her bedroom wearing a large pair of basketball shorts and a tight black v-neck. Jonathan sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of her.
Alexis had long, dirty blonde hair that contained natural waves and curled at the bottom. Her bright blue eyes had the ability to make Jon forget what he was going to say, and her pink plump lips made his thoughts go dirty. She was 5'6, and had a toned slightly tanned body. And her body, oh her body was incredible, one that Jon frequently compared to a goddess when they were together.
The way she looked when she walked to the front door reminded Jon of the times he would come home from a long road trip, one that had contained more losses than wins, and she would greet him at the door at two or three in the morning with a smile on her face. She would never look tired despite the ridiculous time, and despite the fact that Jonathan knew she had been working all day. She would always smile and kiss him and then offer to make him something to eat. Jonathan missed those times, and for the first time since she had walked away from him he felt like he would never experience them again.
"Jonny," Alexis smiled, scampering towards him and throwing her arms around him in a huge hug. "I tried to come see you the other night," she said when she pulled away from him. "But that Reese girl kinda ruined everything," she made a sour face.
"I know, she told me," Jon nodded, rubbing the back of his neck uneasily.
"Well come on in!" She insisted, grabbing his hand and tugging him into the living room. Todd had since retreated into Alexis' office, leaving the once lovers alone again. They both sat on the couch, Alexis folding her legs underneath her body as she smiled brightly at Jonathan. "How have you been?" She asked, still smiling.
"Who was that?" Jon asked, ignoring her question.
"Who? Todd?" Alexis inquired, motioning over her shoulder to where the office was.
"Yes Todd, who else would I be talking about?" He implored angrily.
"Well," Alexis said, biting her lip lightly. "Todd and I are dating."
Jonathan's face showed no emotion as he stared at his ex-girlfriend. All he could think about was how Reese was right, about how Alexis didn't want to be with him anymore. Jonathan felt like someone was mercilessly squeeze his heart. His stomach hurt and he seriously felt like just breaking down and crying right then and there in front of Alexis. But he didn't, instead he swallowed hard and clenched his fists tightly.
"You're dating him," Jonathan said slowly. "We haven't even been apart for a month yet," he murmured.
Alexis gave him sad eyes, scooting closer to him on the couch and placing her hand on his thigh. "Jonny-" she said, giving him a sad smile. "Todd and I met while we were still dating," she explained. "I never cheated on you but I knew Todd was different," she admitted quietly, rubbing his thigh softly. "He's older and more experienced and when you asked me to marry you he was the first thing that flashed into my mind. I knew I couldn't marry you because of that, I couldn't spend my life knowing I made the wrong decision."
Jonathan, who had once been composed and too plagued by sadness to really react, was now overtaken by anger. He pushed Alexis's hand away and stood up from the couch quickly.
"Jonny," Alexis whined. "Don't be upset with me," she cooed, standing up as well and grabbing a hold of his arm. Jonathan ripped his arm from her grasp and turned around so he was facing her, his eyes full of pure rage.
"How can you tell me to not be upset with you?!" He yelled. "You broke my fucking heart Alexis and you couldn't even fucking tell me why you walked away! Do you know that for three weeks I've been thinking you were just scared? That I'd come over and you'd jump into my arms and kiss me and tell me you were sorry?!" He asked, tugging on his ever growing locks. "I fucking beat myself up over this, blaming it on myself while you were fucking shacking up with someone else having the best time of your fucking life."
"It's not like that! I was scared! I didn't want to hurt you and tell you the truth," Alexis tried to tell him.
"So you thought lying and letting me blame this all on myself was better? Do you know why I played like shit third period the other night? It was because I saw you and that douche in the stands and couldn't think about anything else," he seethed. "Did you ever love me? Or did you just stay with me because you didn't want to be alone? Were you just waiting for someone else to come along?"
"Don't make me the bad guy Jonny," she said sadly. "Of course I loved you."
"Don't fucking lie to me Alexis!" His voice boomed.
"Okay, what's going on out here?" Todd asked, walking through the doors of the office, his hands placed on his hips and a stern look on his face.
"Fuck off!" Jonathan yelled to him.
"There's no need to get aggressive," Todd said.
"Listen buddy, shut the fuck up before I come over there and make you shut the fuck up," Jonathan spat.
"Jonathan!" Alexis scolded. "There's no need to be mad at him!"
"Whatever," he said, retreating to the door. "I hope you two have a real fucking nice life together," he seethed before slamming the door behind him.
Jonathan couldn't even think clearly on his way home, and he was surprised he actually made it to his apartment building without getting in some sort of accident. He stormed into his apartment, slamming his own door behind him and causing Reese jump from her place on the couch. She turned around swiftly and frowned when she saw Jonathan's expression.
"Is everything okay?" She asked softly.
"Are you gonna say 'I told you so?'" He asked helplessly. Reese furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head, pushing herself onto her knees on the cushions as she turned around, her stomach pressed to the back of the couch.
"Of course not," she told him. Jonathan hung his head low and walked over to his friend and new roommate slowly.
"She doesn't want me anymore," he whispered. Reese felt her heart break for her friend, upset that her thoughts about Alexis had been confirmed. Although she was sure she was right about Jonathan's ex-girlfriend, there was a part of her that hoped it wasn't true. She only wanted Jonathan to be happy and it seemed that Alexis made him very happy. Seeing how upset and angry and confused he looked felt like a kick in the stomach to Reese.
Silently Jonathan wrapped his arms around Reese's tiny body, burying his face in the crook of her neck. She knew Jonathan needed her more than ever, and she'd be dammed if she let anyone else hurt him like Alexis had.
Jonathan Toews didn't need closure.
He knew deep in his heart Alexis still loved him. Their relationship was too perfect for her not to still harbor feelings for him. She was his best part, the light in and of his life. Hockey was great and his career was taking off, but it would've meant nothing without Alexis by his side.
She ran away when he proposed because she was scared. She was scared to marry someone she knew would be away so much. She was scared to raise kids alone during the season. She didn't run because she didn't want to marry him, Jonathan was sure of that. This is why when Reese suggested he get some closure he was close to furious. He didn't need closure- he needed Alexis back. And that was exactly what he was planning on doing. He was going to bring every single romantic bone in his body together to get Alexis back. He had even resorted to his teammates for help.
"Fuck her in the middle of her kitchen!" Kaner suggested, laughing widely after the fact, Adam Burish egging him on.
"Just talk to her Tazer, use big boy words," Sharpie half joked.
"Don't ask me," Buffy shook his head as he laced up his skates.
"Married people are different!" Colin Fraser said, holding his hands up defensively.
"Agreed," Troy Brower nodded.
Jonathan sat down in his stall and took a deep breath, taking fistfuls on his ever growing locks and putting his head down. That was the last time he ever asked his teammates a serious question. Well, together at least. He knew one on one conversations were a little different when talking about your personal life, but when everyone was together being serious was the last thing on everyone's minds.
During practice Jonathan thought long and hard about his current predicament. Reese's never ending advice to him was to forget about Alexis, and to talk to her only to gain closure and make things easier on himself. Her suggestions, to him, seemed stupid simply because he was sure Alexis was still every bit in love with him as he was with her. He knew the hell he would have to pay from Reese for what he was going to do, but he felt that everything would work its self out. Once Reese saw him and Alexis back together she would apologize for jumping to conclusions and basing her opinions off of her own failed relationship.
After practice he showered and dressed in his street clothes quickly, only one thought on his mind. He was slightly nervous about seeing Alexis up close and personal again. He yearned to touch her skin, smell her perfume, feel her body pressed against his. He practically sped to her apartment at the thought of her throwing herself at him as soon as she opened the door, kissing all over his face and apologizing over and over again.
The doorman immediately recognized him, not because he was the captain of the Chicago Blackhawks but because he was Alexis' boyfriend, and smiled widely at him. Once he was inside the elevator his nerves began to kick in and he began to nervously fidget with his hands. The elevator stopped abruptly, the doors opening to her floor as Jon's heartbeat quickened.
Jonathan couldn't remember a time in his life when he felt his entire world come crashing down around him quite like when the door to Alexis' apartment open and a man stood on the other side of it. Even watching her walk away while he sat there with an engagement ring couldn't compare to the pain he felt when he saw a man standing there.
"Hey," he guy said brightly, sticking his hand out for Jonathan to shake. "Jon, right?"
"Uh, yeah," Jonathan said awkwardly, sticking his hands in his back pockets.
"I'm Todd," he smiled. "Hold on one minute," he said. "Lexie!" He called over his shoulder. Alexis came scurrying out of her bedroom wearing a large pair of basketball shorts and a tight black v-neck. Jonathan sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of her.
Alexis had long, dirty blonde hair that contained natural waves and curled at the bottom. Her bright blue eyes had the ability to make Jon forget what he was going to say, and her pink plump lips made his thoughts go dirty. She was 5'6, and had a toned slightly tanned body. And her body, oh her body was incredible, one that Jon frequently compared to a goddess when they were together.
The way she looked when she walked to the front door reminded Jon of the times he would come home from a long road trip, one that had contained more losses than wins, and she would greet him at the door at two or three in the morning with a smile on her face. She would never look tired despite the ridiculous time, and despite the fact that Jonathan knew she had been working all day. She would always smile and kiss him and then offer to make him something to eat. Jonathan missed those times, and for the first time since she had walked away from him he felt like he would never experience them again.
"Jonny," Alexis smiled, scampering towards him and throwing her arms around him in a huge hug. "I tried to come see you the other night," she said when she pulled away from him. "But that Reese girl kinda ruined everything," she made a sour face.
"I know, she told me," Jon nodded, rubbing the back of his neck uneasily.
"Well come on in!" She insisted, grabbing his hand and tugging him into the living room. Todd had since retreated into Alexis' office, leaving the once lovers alone again. They both sat on the couch, Alexis folding her legs underneath her body as she smiled brightly at Jonathan. "How have you been?" She asked, still smiling.
"Who was that?" Jon asked, ignoring her question.
"Who? Todd?" Alexis inquired, motioning over her shoulder to where the office was.
"Yes Todd, who else would I be talking about?" He implored angrily.
"Well," Alexis said, biting her lip lightly. "Todd and I are dating."
Jonathan's face showed no emotion as he stared at his ex-girlfriend. All he could think about was how Reese was right, about how Alexis didn't want to be with him anymore. Jonathan felt like someone was mercilessly squeeze his heart. His stomach hurt and he seriously felt like just breaking down and crying right then and there in front of Alexis. But he didn't, instead he swallowed hard and clenched his fists tightly.
"You're dating him," Jonathan said slowly. "We haven't even been apart for a month yet," he murmured.
Alexis gave him sad eyes, scooting closer to him on the couch and placing her hand on his thigh. "Jonny-" she said, giving him a sad smile. "Todd and I met while we were still dating," she explained. "I never cheated on you but I knew Todd was different," she admitted quietly, rubbing his thigh softly. "He's older and more experienced and when you asked me to marry you he was the first thing that flashed into my mind. I knew I couldn't marry you because of that, I couldn't spend my life knowing I made the wrong decision."
Jonathan, who had once been composed and too plagued by sadness to really react, was now overtaken by anger. He pushed Alexis's hand away and stood up from the couch quickly.
"Jonny," Alexis whined. "Don't be upset with me," she cooed, standing up as well and grabbing a hold of his arm. Jonathan ripped his arm from her grasp and turned around so he was facing her, his eyes full of pure rage.
"How can you tell me to not be upset with you?!" He yelled. "You broke my fucking heart Alexis and you couldn't even fucking tell me why you walked away! Do you know that for three weeks I've been thinking you were just scared? That I'd come over and you'd jump into my arms and kiss me and tell me you were sorry?!" He asked, tugging on his ever growing locks. "I fucking beat myself up over this, blaming it on myself while you were fucking shacking up with someone else having the best time of your fucking life."
"It's not like that! I was scared! I didn't want to hurt you and tell you the truth," Alexis tried to tell him.
"So you thought lying and letting me blame this all on myself was better? Do you know why I played like shit third period the other night? It was because I saw you and that douche in the stands and couldn't think about anything else," he seethed. "Did you ever love me? Or did you just stay with me because you didn't want to be alone? Were you just waiting for someone else to come along?"
"Don't make me the bad guy Jonny," she said sadly. "Of course I loved you."
"Don't fucking lie to me Alexis!" His voice boomed.
"Okay, what's going on out here?" Todd asked, walking through the doors of the office, his hands placed on his hips and a stern look on his face.
"Fuck off!" Jonathan yelled to him.
"There's no need to get aggressive," Todd said.
"Listen buddy, shut the fuck up before I come over there and make you shut the fuck up," Jonathan spat.
"Jonathan!" Alexis scolded. "There's no need to be mad at him!"
"Whatever," he said, retreating to the door. "I hope you two have a real fucking nice life together," he seethed before slamming the door behind him.
Jonathan couldn't even think clearly on his way home, and he was surprised he actually made it to his apartment building without getting in some sort of accident. He stormed into his apartment, slamming his own door behind him and causing Reese jump from her place on the couch. She turned around swiftly and frowned when she saw Jonathan's expression.
"Is everything okay?" She asked softly.
"Are you gonna say 'I told you so?'" He asked helplessly. Reese furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head, pushing herself onto her knees on the cushions as she turned around, her stomach pressed to the back of the couch.
"Of course not," she told him. Jonathan hung his head low and walked over to his friend and new roommate slowly.
"She doesn't want me anymore," he whispered. Reese felt her heart break for her friend, upset that her thoughts about Alexis had been confirmed. Although she was sure she was right about Jonathan's ex-girlfriend, there was a part of her that hoped it wasn't true. She only wanted Jonathan to be happy and it seemed that Alexis made him very happy. Seeing how upset and angry and confused he looked felt like a kick in the stomach to Reese.
Silently Jonathan wrapped his arms around Reese's tiny body, burying his face in the crook of her neck. She knew Jonathan needed her more than ever, and she'd be dammed if she let anyone else hurt him like Alexis had.
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sorry this took forever- school has been killing me and i've just been too obessed with my tj story to post anything else.feedback please!
xoxo.