Breakeven

"I know it makes no sense but what else can I do. How can I move on when I’m still in love with you?"

"...So you're telling me you live with a chick. A hot chick, who you walked in on naked no less, and you haven't fucked her yet?" Patrick Kane reiterated to Jonathan on their flight home from St. Louis a few nights later.

"I've known her since I was a kid!" Jonathan exclaimed. "And I never said she was hot," he grumbled. "Plus, there's still Alexis..."

"First off, knowing her since you were a kid is only a good thing. You know she likes you for you, and not because of your job. Second off, I've seen her at games, and she is hot. And third off, you're an idiot. Alexis dumped you and is fucking someone who's like, ten years older than she is," Patrick told his friend.

"Remind me why I go to you for advice?" Jonathan asked.

"Maybe because I'm always right?"

"You did not just say that Kaner!" Patrick Sharp interjected into the 21 year olds' conversation. He turned around in his seat two rows and on the other side of the aisle from the pair of superstars.

"What's that supposed to mean Sharpie?" Patrick tried to act intimidating.

"That you're dumb," Patrick Sharp shrugged simply. "Tell me what's wrong Tazer."

"He asked that Reese chick to move in with him, you know, that chick he's known since the womb. And he walked in on her right after she got out of the shower the other day. And he's still hung up on that bitch Alexis-"

"Alexis is not a bitch!" Jonathan cut Kaner off.

"Do you really wanna get into this right now?" Patrick Kane questioned his captain.

"Just- drop it okay? I don't even know why I tell you these things. You're no help," Jonathan muttered, grabbing his headphones and shoving the ear buds into his ears roughly. He turned his music up loud, trying to drown out the sounds of his team chattering loudly and Patrick Kane trying to explain himself.

Truth be told, Jonathan didn't know what to do. Seeing Reese naked was certainly surprising in more ways than one for him. The most obvious being he never expected to walk in on her in nothing but her birthday suit, but he was also surprised at how he was slightly turned on by it. He had always know Reese as that girl who grew up down the street from him and played street hockey with him and his brother when no one else was around. She was the girl who drove with his parents to his games and cheered louder than everyone for him. She was the girl he asked for advice about his girlfriends. And for the first time in his life Jonathan now knew her as the hot girl living with him. And it was hard for him to think about her in such a way when he was clearly still very much in love with Alexis. And even though he knew she was with someone else, a small part of him still hoped to get her back.

Reese on the other hand was finally feeling okay with herself since she her and Sean broke up. Choosing to live with Jonathan while she got her feet back on the ground was a perfect idea. If she hadn't accepted his invitation or if he hadn't extended one in the first place she would still be back in Winnipeg moping. Being with her old friend helped her heal her heart a lot faster than if she would have tried to do it on her own. And now that she was feeling good, she was out searching for a job and an apartment of her own to move into.

She hadn't had a job since her first year of college and she had never lived on her own. It was like she was restarting her life and it couldn't have been more liberating. And she had Jon to really thank for that. He had given her another chance, helped her grow, listened to her cry, have her learn from his stories.

Reese was sitting on the counter, a newspaper in her lap as she searched for an apartment. She already felt like she had overstayed her welcome, and as much as she would have loved to stay she knew she couldn't. Jonathan needed time to himself, and she knew he would object to it at first but she knew it was what he needed.

"Hey," Jonathan said softly, rounding the corner to the kitchen. He had just gotten back from his road trip, and Reese had barely noticed the front door opening and closing again.

"Oh hey," she smiled, her head snapping up at the sound of his voice.

"What're you doing?" He inquired, dropping his equipment bag from his shoulder and walking over to his friend curiously.

"Searching for an apartment," Reese said, uncapping the highlighter with her teeth and circling a place that seemed suitable. "I should probably look for a job first, but I honestly don't know anywhere that would hire me. I haven't had a job since I was a freshman in college, it's pathetic really," she laughed lightly.

"Wait, what?" Jonathan asked, dumbfounded.

"I'm looking for an apartment to move into and a job. Why, do you have any ideas?" She asked, arching her eyebrow at Jon.

"No, it's not that," he shook his head. "It's just, why move out so soon? I'm not kicking you out or anything," he told her.

"I already feel like I overstayed my welcome. And plus, I'm totally cramping your style living here. I don't wanna be a cock block," she joked, ruffling his hair.

"If anything, I cock block myself," he said seriously. "And until I'm not hung up on Alexis anymore, that will still probably be the case," he sighed, boosting himself up onto the island across from where Reese was perched on the counter.

"Jonny," Reese said with a heavy breath, placing the newspaper on next to her. "The sooner you get over her the sooner you'll be able to enjoy your life again. I don't want to rush you into anything, but I just want you to be happy again. Hockey was a good start, it's something you can use to distract yourself. And you seeing my tits, I mean that was a good distraction," she chuckled. "But you just need to go out and live your life, Alexis is. And as much as it hurts you to know that, and believe me I know how much it hurts, you need to stop obsessing over her."

"It's not as easy as you think Reese," Jonathan told her. "If it was, we wouldn't even be having this conversation, again. I know that because you seemed to get over Sean quickly that I should do the same, but I actually loved Alexis. I really did. And we were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together, you don't fucking get it Reese. She was it."

Once again Jonathan had gone below the belt, hitting Reese right where it hurt. She sucked in a sharp breath as she stared at Jonathan carefully, knowing that was his anger talking but also knowing it had to come from somewhere. She grabbed the newspaper and hopped down off the counter.

"You talk a lot about me not understand you, but if you really meant what you just said, you clearly don't understand me either," she said as she walked out of the kitchen. Jonathan hung his head low, his hands placed on either side of his body.

No matter what she tried to tell him, she knew he didn't understand. He was still in love with Alexis, that much was painfully obvious. And until he find a way to get her back or deal with the fact that she just didn't feel the same way she used to, it was going to be very hard for him to simply, "get over her."