He's Not...You

"Andrew Beirsack, get jo ass over here now!"

I wrinkled my nose. I hate it when he uses my full name. "Well then...you can ask nicely next time then Ashley Purdy." I yelped.

He giggled and smiled, his obnoxiously yet adorable smile, and stuck his lower lip out, and patted beside him. I raised my eyebrows. "What do you want?"

"Well then meanie...I'll just have to eat all this gi-numbo bag 'o candy all by myself and not share with anybody." he faked pouted, and pulled a giant bag of candy out and began rummaging.

"No wait. Wait. Ashhhh!" I whined, and zoomed over, and sat down on the couch beside him, poking his side. "Give." I begged, reaching over and trying to grab it.

"Nooooo." he retorted, and pushed me away. "You wouldn't come the first time. Why should I? I was trying to be nice to you, but you insisted on not coming. You were being a big giant douche. Why should I be nice to you and share?"

"Cause Barney says you should. It's not nice to not share. Besides, look who's being the douche now."

Touché m'dear.

He waggled his eyebrows. "Whatcha' gonna give me?"

"Erm. I dunno. Come on 'ya big 'ol meanie. Just give some to me!"

"And what's the magic word?"

"I have no clue."

"No, not really. I don't think that's it."

"Well golly, that's just a poopy situation we have here, don't we?" I let out in an annoyingly high voice.

Ash stared at me. "You act so flamboyant sometimes."

Oh you have no idea Ashley baby...

"Erm. You know I was just kidding right?" I kinda panicked and made a desperate grab for the candy bag.

I don't really wanna be in a awkward situation here now do I? Okay, yeah so. I'm gay. I haven't come out of the closet yet. So sue me. I don't really care. I just don't want it to be so sudden, I have a feeling the guys and Sandra just might be homophobes. But let's just hope not....And I just might have a tiny crush on Ash...Okay. Not tiny. It's gigantic. Like, whale gigantic. It's horrible. These days, I'm going to embarrass myself by getting a boner because of him.... -__-

In my desperate grab, I managed to grab Ashley's hand and fall into his crotch...face first.

"Ummmm.....Andy? Can you please get off my dick. You're making things more uncomfortable then it really is." he giggled slightly.

I felt my face burn, and I pushed away from him, scrambling up.

"Whoa there Andy. You going all gay on us?" I heard a voice from the doorway say.

I looked up, and looked back down. Jinxx.

"No." I snapped, and stood up, pushing shoving past him into the hallway.

His smirk disappeared from his face, and he held his hands up in mock surrender. "Geeze. Sorry man. I was just kidding. What's up with you lately? You've been really tense."

"Nothing. The tour. That's all. I'm tired." I called, and went into my hotel room.

I threw my shirt off, and stripped down to my boxers, and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head. Closing my eyes, I took deep breaths, hoping to calm down. "Geeze Andy. Calm the fuck down....It's only Ash..." I hissed to myself.

Little did I know, that the idiot I am, talking to myself usually blocks everything out, and I don't hear anything else.

Okay, what I mean to say is that I failed to realize that the one and only Ashley Purdy was standing right there listen to me.

"Andy?"

Oh crap.

"What do you mean only Ash? Am I not important to you?" he asked, the hurt evident in his voice. It made my heart break.

I rolled over, and pulled the covers off. "No no Ash, that's not what I meant.....It's just.....Oh never mind. It's not important...." I muttered.

He sat down on the bed, making it sag slightly. "I'm sure it is Andy. Whatever's bothering you, you can tell me. I promise I'll keep it a secret." he smiled, giving me a loopy grin.

It was the grin that made me want to always run into his arms and give him a big hug and kiss those rosy, pouty lips.

"I know. I tell you a lot Ash...But not this time I can't. I'm sorry." I whispered, suddenly ashamed. I turned away.

He grabbed my chin, and pulled me to look at him. "Talk Andy. I'm not leaving. And that's a promise."

"I'm serious. It's really nothing."

"Then why do you look like you're about to cry?"

"Do I really?" I asked, amazed. I thought I had kept a pretty straight face for a while now.

Sighing, I pulled away from his slender fingers. "You won't tell anyone? Not even the guys and Sandra?" I asked, my heart beating crazily.

"Yup. I pinky promise. I won't even tell my mum. Heck, I won't even tell my own pillow. And that's a fact. Cause I tell it everything. I even pretend to make out with it sometimes, and pretend it's that special someone." he giggled.

I felt my heart jump when he said that.

Andrew Beirsack. You little pervert. You wish that pillow was you. Well, it's not. He's straight. Now you remember that before you do anything stupid.

I nodded, and then took a deep breath. "Ifinallyfigureoutthatimgay."

"You what?"

I gulped, running my hand through my hair and fiddling with the bed sheets. "I finally figured out that....I-I'm....gay." I whispered.

Ash sat there dumb-founded. "Are you serious?" he asked, after a couple of awkward seconds past.

"Yeah...." I mumbled. I could feel my throat dry, and my parched lips were sticking together. "Don't hate me....please. That'd kill me...." I mumbled, tears threatening to spill. I was ready for the water works to come anytime now.

He was silent for a second, and then he spoke softly. "Andy. I'd never hate you. You know that. Hell, if you came out as a tranny, got together with Jeffree Star, had ten million kids with Adam Lambert, and turned into a drug addict, I still wouldn't hate you." he smiled, and touched my cheek. "By the way, I don't really hate them. They're both very talented." he added quickly.

I felt myself blush. "Really?" I asked. He nodded and laughed. I let out a nervous twitter, and pulled the covers over my head shyly.

He chuckled, and pulled them back down. "And by the way Andy?"

"Yeah?"

"I want you to know that....I'm bi."

"You're what?" I yelped, leaping out of bed.

"Shhhhh. Don't tell them yet either. I just wondered whether anyone noticed yet or not. I guess not. Although, I've never actually been with another guy.....until now!" he giggled enthusiastically.

"Oh..." I said softly, suddenly very disappointed, my excited mood had disappeared.

I thought maybe we could be together...

"I'm happy for you. Congrats buddy..." I whispered.

"I'm not."

"Huh?" I asked, not being able to contain my surprise.

"I'm not happy. He's not great. He's not funny. He's not amazing. He's not smart. He's not talented. He's not hot. He's not........you." he murmured, looking down into his lap.

"Me?"

He only nodded in response. I felt my cheeks heat up. "What do you mean he's not me?"

"He isn't you!" Ash insisted. "He doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside when he looks at me. When you do, I feel like that. When you smile at me, I feel like I want to run and hug you and give you a giant, messy, sloppy kiss."

I looked into his eyes, "Like now?" I asked, smiling.

He shut his eyes tightly, and nodded.

"Then do it." I whispered, my breath catching in my throat.

And he did.