Guilty Pleasures

Gerard drinking from the bottle of whiskey when she showed up. The different feeling she had when they were making love...

“Gee,” she whispered, fighting the urge to sit down. “What’s going on?”

Gerard didn’t say anything as he set his gaze on the far wall, his eyes unfocused and glassy.

“Does this have something to do with what Mr Toro said to you earlier?”

Naomi was soon becoming frustrated that he wasn’t even looking at her.

“Was that good-bye?”

Gerard's eyes snapped to hers, giving her the answer she dreaded.

Naomi felt her body begin to shake as she backed away from him. “Oh my God,” she whispered, her eyes becoming unfocused as Gerard followed her into the hall.

“Toro knows,” he said softly, battling his tears. “Other teachers are suspecting something…they’re about to go to Baxter.”

“So we’ll be more careful,” Naomi said desperately, fisting her hands in his shirt. “We’ll do better.”

“We can’t,” Gerard said in a choked voice as he shook his head, his heart aching. “There’s too much at risk…your future, my job, not to mention jail time.”

“But…but you needed me…”

“I’ll always need you,” he whispered, letting his tears fall before giving her a tender kiss. “I’m sorry I got you into this.”

“No,” Naomi said, shaking her head. “Don’t say that, this doesn’t have to be over, Gee. Please don’t say that after everything…”

Gerard swallowed hard as Naomi began sobbing. He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing.

“It has to be,” he whispered, running his hands along her arms in a soothing gesture that obviously wasn’t having any affect. “I’ll take you home, okay?”

“I don’t want to go home,” she said softly, breaking away from him and walking toward the door. “And I don’t want you taking me anywhere…I’ll walk.”

“Nae-“

“No! I don’t get a choice in anything you do, so you don’t get a choice in what I do.”

Naomi's strength soon faded as her emotions took over again.

Gerard turned away, standing in the doorway of his bedroom, not wanting to see her walk through that door.

“So that’s it?” she asked, her heart breaking. “It’s over? I give you everything I have and…and it’s still not enough.”

Gerard longed to take her in his arms. To erase this moment forever. To assure her that it was enough, that it would always be enough…but he couldn’t.

“You’re willing to throw away what we have just because…”

Naomi trailed off with a nod, her mind turning over every possibility. She had to tell him, she couldn’t walk out of his life without him not knowing.
‘What have you got to lose, Nae?’ she asked herself.

“Gee…I love you.”

Gerard's hand gripped the doorframe to support himself. The pressure under his hand was so strong, he was mildly surprised that it didn’t crack with the force.

“No, you don’t,” he replied through gritted teeth, needing to stay strong. Needing her to be able to move on with a clean slate.
Even if that was the last thing he wanted.

“You think I haven’t tried not to?” Naomi asked, tears streaming down her face.

Gerard turned to face her, his heart breaking at the anguish he was causing her. “Try harder,” he said in a choked voice.

‘What have you got to lose, Nae?’ she asked herself again. ‘Everything.’

Naomi turned and walked through the door not bothering to close it behind her.

Gerard watched her turn and walk away…walk out of his life. There was no going back. There was no changing it. She was gone. Gerard quietly shut
the door, walked down the hall and into the bathroom before spending the next half hour emptying his stomach.

-----

Everyone that said there was too much sex? Bet you're missing the sex now!
I despise this chapter =(