2 AM

1:35 AM

She bit her lip as she sat in bed, pulling her knees up to her chest as the tears started to roll down her cheeks. It had been two months; two long months without the one person that could make her happy. As much as she wanted to tell herself that she was fine, as much as she wanted to tell everyone around her that everything was okay, she knew that deep down she was miserable. She knew that she missed him more than she ever fathomed. She was truly heartbroken, broken by the one person who had promised to never hurt her; the person who was supposed to protect her from all the hell he had put her through.

She blinked her eyes, trying to keep the tears that were threatening to surface at bay. Her sniffles filled the dark bedroom as she was slowly losing the battle with her broken heart. Silent sobs escaped from her lips as she hugged her knees tighter to her chest and her tears stained her pink pajama pants. She bit her lip as she slowly rocked herself back and forth on the mattress, trying to push away the memory of him.

She glanced to her right, to her bedroom window, and she could see the snow falling down from the sky. She grabbed a blanket off of her bed and stood up, wrapping the throw around her shoulders as she walked over to the window. She sat down on the small cushioned bench by her window and hugged the blanket tight to her body as she rested her head against the wall, staring out at the falling snowflakes as they gently landed on the ground.

“I’m over him,” she mumbled to herself as the snow continued to fall. “I’m over him…”

~

He grabbed the bottle of Jack and poured more of its contents into his glass before lifting the glass to his lips and taking another long drink. It was two months since they broke it off; since he had broken things off. He felt like an idiot for leaving her like he had, for breaking her heart the way he did. But he couldn’t handle it all. The stress had gotten to him. The band, touring, and then she got a promotion that moved her from California out to New York. Of course it was his fault she took it in the first place; he had encouraged her and told her that they would be able to handle the long-distance thing. He didn’t realize just how wrong he was when he spoke those words.

The long-distance thing strained their seemingly perfect relationship. Sure, they had their little spats like any other couple and she always joked around saying that she hated him, but when all of that was put aside they were practically picture perfect. They hardly had a chance to talk to each other because she was either working or he was too busy with touring. It just wasn’t going to work out the way it used to; he couldn’t take the pressure anymore and he cracked when he and the guys were in New York playing a show; the first time he was able to see her in three months.

It was supposed to be sweet. It was supposed to be romantic. But instead it ended up being a complete disaster. She was constantly getting calls from the office that she couldn’t just ignore like she used to and he got upset. Looking back on it he realized that he was being irrational for just ending it there, but he just couldn’t handle it all. He was tired from touring and all he wanted was a nice, relaxing night with his girlfriend, which he did not get.

He thought of calling her the next day to apologize, but he was too afraid that she wouldn’t accept it. He had really messed things up and a phone call wouldn’t have cut it; it was something that would have needed to be done in person and he didn’t have the time. At least that’s what he told himself. In truth, he didn’t want to see the broken look on her face again; it ripped his heart in two when he saw it the night before and he didn’t want to see it again, knowing that he was the cause of her pain. He felt like he’d be damned if he did see her and he was damned if he didn’t. It was a lose-lose situation and he had lost.

He took another long swig of his drink and set the glass on the table, exhaling loudly as he rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand. He turned his head to the left and looked out the window to see the glimmer of the downtown lights and he could faintly see snow starting to fall from the sky. He shook his head and picked the glass up to his lips once more, emptying it with one last gulp.

“You need to slow down there.”

He slightly jumped in his seat at the sound of his friend’s voice and turned his head to look behind him. “What are you doing here?” he grumbled, picking up the bottle and pouring another glass.

“We’re sharing a room, remember?” his friend replied as he walked up to him, grabbing the bottle off of the table. “I think you’ve had enough of that for tonight.”

“What the hell!? I don’t take away your Jack when you drink,” he mumbled as he shot his friend an icy glare.

“I’m not the one drinking myself into oblivion,” he pointed out as he put the cap back on the bottle and put it away. “What’s wrong with you tonight? You’ve been acting off ever since we got here.”

“We’re in New York.”

His friend closed his eyes and gently shook his head, scolding himself for not seeing it earlier. Of course it was New York; only New York would have such an affect on him. Only New York would make him want to drink himself into oblivion. And it’s all because he doesn’t want to think about her; because he doesn’t want to own up to the mistake that he had made.

“It was two months ago, Zack.”

“It was the biggest mistake of my life, Brian,” he shot back, his green eyes burning into Brian. “I shouldn’t have let her go.”

“We all make mistakes, Z. I know how you feel, man.”

“Really? I don’t see how you can. You’re still with your girlfriend. You didn’t dump her because you’re a dumbass,” Zacky spat out venomously.

Brian pressed his lips together in a thin line as he knit his eyebrows together. He wanted to think of something, anything that could help his friend. But it seemed so hard to do when he was already trying to get drunk off his ass.

“Why don’t you try calling her?” Brian offered.

“You’re an even bigger dumbass than you look,” Zacky grumbled. “I can’t call her.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” he sighed. “Because I don’t know what to say to her…” he admitted softly as he ran his hand through his hair.

“Well, why don’t you try?” he asked as he reached for Zacky’s phone sitting on the small table in between their beds. “It’s late so she’s probably got her phone off. You can leave a message or something and hope she’ll call you back tomorrow. We are going to be here for a couple of days anyway,” he said as he held the phone out to him.

Zacky eyed the phone for a moment, unsure if he should take his friend’s advice or not.

“What could it hurt, Z?”

His eyes met Brian’s and he nodded his head as he reached for the phone.

~

1:47 AM

She continued to stare blankly out of the window; the salty tears had dried on her cheeks as she sat unmoving on the bench. The snow danced outside of her window, helping her keep her mind off of what was troubling her. She pulled the blanket a little tighter around her shoulders as she shifted in her seat, moving for the first time in nearly ten minutes. She rested her forehead against the glass, closing her eyes as the cold surface cooled her skin.

Her phone started to vibrate on the nightstand and she opened her eyes at the sound. She pulled her head away from the glass and knit her eyebrows together, looking across the room at the vibrating phone in confusion.

“Who could be calling me now?” she mumbled to herself as she stood up and walked over to the small table.

She picked up the phone and her breath hitched in her throat when she saw his name on the ID; she had forgotten to delete his number from her phone. She had always used the excuse that she was too busy to do so, but really she knew it was because she wasn’t ready to let him go. She was never going to be ready to let him go.

She bit her lip as she debated whether to answer or not. As much as she wanted to talk to him, as badly as she wanted to answer the phone, she wasn’t sure if she could handle hearing his voice again. Even though it had been two months it had been the hardest two months of her life. She tried every day to forget the little things about him that she had grown to love. His voice was one of those things she was never able to push from her memory. As soon as she decided to answer the vibrating stopped and she softly cursed under her breath.

She had missed his call.

A couple moments passed by and her phone vibrated once more, alerting her to the voicemail that she had. She bit her lip and shakily called her voicemail. She managed to punch in her password and the message started to play.

His voice played in her ear and she felt something pull at her heart. The tears that had finally disappeared reappeared, welling up in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks as she listened to his words. The message ended sooner than she would have liked and she hung up the phone, sniffling as she set her phone back down on the nightstand. She wiped her eyes as she continued to sniffle, looking down at her phone and debating if she should call him back or not.

~

“Feel any better?” Brian asked once Zacky hung up the phone.

“Do I look like I fucking feel better?”

Brian sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry, Zack. I don’t know what to tell you. I was just trying to help.”

“I know you were,” he sighed. “I just… I need to clear my head. I need to get out of this room. I need to be alone.” He looked over to the window and stood up. “I’m going for a walk.”

“Are you sure about that, Z? It’s Canadian out there,” Brian noted as his brown eyes flickered over to the window. “And you’ve been drinking. Maybe I should go with you.”

“Nah, I’m alright,” Zacky said as he shook his head. “I’ll have my phone with me in case anything happens. I’m just gonna go for a walk around the block.”

“Alright,” he nodded. “I’ll see you in a few?”

“Yeah, I’ll be back in a few,” he replied with a smile as he walked past Brian and grabbed his coat.

Zacky walked out of the room and put on his coat as he walked down the hallway, making his way past the elevators and taking the stairs outside. He shoved his hands in his pockets once he stepped out into the chill winter air. He walked onto the sidewalk and started to wander around aimlessly. His gaze jumped around as he took in his surroundings.

He knew where he was; they were staying at the same hotel that they had last time when they were here. And he knew exactly how far away he was from her place, but he was trying not to think of that. It proved to be harder than he had initially thought though. He couldn’t help but think of her and how much he missed her. Part of him wished that she had answered the phone when he called her just so he could hear her voice, while the other half was relieved she hadn’t because he knew how much her voice would make him breakdown.

Zacky continued his way down the sidewalk, not really paying attention to where he was going, only to who else was out walking the streets at 1:50 in the morning. He walked past a park and was surprised when he saw an old couple walking, huddled close to each other as they took a stroll in the snow. He bit his lip as he watched the couple walk in the opposite direction; they looked happy, what Zacky wished he was at that moment.

He shook his head and resumed his walk, each step bringing him closer to his final destination.

~

1:58 AM

She was back on the small bench, her phone in her hand as her eyes watched the snow once again. She knew that it wasn’t likely that he’d call again, but she was going to keep her phone nearby just in case. A group of tiny snowflakes caught her eye and she watched them as they gracefully floated down to the ground. She looked down at the sidewalk and saw someone walking. She knit her brow and she quickly looked at the clock to see what time it was.

She looked back out the window, at the crazy person walking in the snow at nearly two in the morning, and got a better look at him. Her mouth suddenly grew very dry when she saw him. Or at least she thought it was him. She watched the man as he drew closer to her place and he stopped in front of her place.

She could see his face clearly and there was no doubt that it was him. She wondered what he was doing, if he was going to knock or not, but instead he just stood there in front of her door, staring at it blankly. She shook her head and walked away from the window.

~

1:59 AM

He stood there in front of her door, simply staring at it as he tried to build up the courage to knock on the door, but he was frozen in place. He couldn’t bring it in him to do it. He let out a heavy sigh, his breath coming out in a small smoky fog in front of his face. He turned to start the trek back to the hotel when he heard the door open; the sound caused him to stop in his tracks and his heart jumped up into his throat.

“Zacky?” she asked softly, hugging the blanket around her body in hopes that it could keep her warm.

He slowly turned around to face her and gave her a small smile. “Hi, Lynn.”

“What--What are you doing here?”

“I just… I--I wanted to say that I’m sorry,” he choked out.

“You’re sorry?”

“For breaking up. I’m sorry. I was being stupid and I shouldn’t have done it. I’m so sorry.”

She stared at him for a moment as his words sank in. “Sorry’s not going to be enough, Zack.”

“I know it’s not. But I’ve missed you so much, Lynn.” He sniffled. “I love you. I never stopped loving you.”

She bit her lip and she took a couple steps towards him. “Then why did you break up with me?” she breathed.

“Because I’m an idiot.”

“I’m not going to disagree with you there,” she said as she stepped into his arms.

2:00 AM

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close, kissing the top of her head.

“You know you make it really hard to hate you,” she mumbled as she buried her face into his chest.

“I know, but do you still love me?” he asked softly.

“You know I do,” she said as she looked up at him with a small smile on her face. “I love you, Zacky.”

“I love you, too, Lynn,” he smiled down at her and caught her lips with his in a soft kiss.

They stood there as the snow fell around them, holding each other close and never wanting to let go again.