Closed Away

I think, I think I am the problem. I've screwed over too many people to count. They probibly would have all been fine with out me. I reversed Christian's theropy sessions, I killed off my friendship to Whatsername and Jimmy, I totally killed him. This is not how it was suppose to be.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME GOD?!"

I stood up screaming at the ceiling. And as I figured, he didn't answer back. I was sick of acting so good. I was suppose to be on a mission, but I kept on failing as usual. A fucking failure I was at life. I couldn't do anything right. Well now I do have something to be sorry for. I quickly got up from the couch and speed walked my way to where I started from. I wasn't able to live normally since no one could see us who was of any real importance. Besides my kids. The only almost saine person here was Jimmy. And if he wanted to or not, I was going to help him. If I could just help Jimmy, I'd feel a little bit better. I knew once I got to seeing him, he's put up a fight, but if I could just get a few choice words in maybe he's let up just a little bit. I turned on my heel seeing someone's shaking sholder in a lounge chair. I walked over, letting the gravel crunch under my boots. He was asleep in the chair. Shivering slightly. Looking up at the sky I sighed.

"Is this some sort of sign?"

Taking off my jacket I layed it over him. Sighing contently he nuzzled his head into the dirty chair. I cringed a little but took a seat on the gravel ground. Shivering to myself I got to thinking, hmm Jimmy. Never thought much of the guy. And look at what I'm doing right now. If I wasn't a saint, I don't know what I was. What was I really? Saints didn't go around being easily minipulated or being easy in any terms. As I probibly was. I wasn't even married. I'm dead for crying out loud. Which thinking about that even almost brought me to tears. Not once had Christian expressed anything like marriage to me. Who was I kidding? That wouldn't of happened in a billion years. With a sad sigh I looked up at Jimmy's calm face. What about Jimmy? What am I gonna do? Putting my head in my hands I closed my eyes. I'd wait for him to wake up. And when he did. I'd call it quits. No more worring about trying to do good. I'd be whatever the moment called for. Cause what else really worked? Christian, frankly didn't care. And neither did it. The devil was in his hell and the saint is out of her cell. I'm leaning on Jimmy for all that I can.