The Only Way I Know

Two days later, my things were packed and I was ready to go. I looked around my room one final time; I had arrived as an insecure child, in a depserately depressed state of mind. But now I was leaving a little more sane; a little more sure of life. I realised that to love, I had to hurt. I was subjecting myself to that pain by loving - and being loved. I had to accept it. I could avoid loving, but it meant my life would be lonely, cold and isolated.

These thoughts still weighing heavily in my mind, I dragged my bag downstairs and met Julian by the reception desk. He looked as nervous as I felt at the prospect of leaving and entering the real world again.

"Are you ready?" he asked, eyes fixed on the front door. I could see his jaw was clenched at the thought of dealing with his father again.

I felt a wave of sickness pass over me as I thought of my mum. Did she even want to see me?

Swallowing uncomfortably, I managed an uncertain nod. He turned to me and gave a sympathetic smile. "I feel the same way." His eyes swept back to the door. My heart skipped a beat as I heard the skid of tyres on gravel outside. Holding my breath, me and Julian awaited to see who it was. Both to my relief and disappointment, a tall man with Julian's dark blue eyes entered the room.

I saw Julian's body tense as he realised it was his father.

The man have an apologetic smile, walking towards Julian stiffly. I could see the guilt etched in the deep lines on his kind face - it was hard to believe this man violently abused Julian. He looked tired and weary as he moved closer towards his son. Just as he began to explain himself, I heard a car in the driveway again - and a moment later, my mum opened the door.

I stood rooted to the spot, feeling tears of relief and happiness well up in my eyes as I saw her face. She hurried forward, looking genuinely happy to see me.

"I'm sorry, mum," I choked out. Her eyes moved frantically around my face, trying to see if I was alright. I could see the bags under her eyes where she hadn't slept, the worry obvious through her hazel eyes.

"I'm glad you're okay," she said, pulling me into a hug. "Just promise me you'll tell me whats going on, Jamie..."

I nodded, glad I was finally safe. Once we pulled apart, my mum went up to the reception desk to check me out. Julian came over, looking at peace with himself.

"All sorted?" I asked shakily, still a little shocked at my mum's willing forgiveness.

"Yeah...he apologised for everything he's done to hurt me. and told me he got help for it," Julian said quetly. "You know what this means?"

I tilted my head slightly, unsure of what he meant.

"We're free," he said simply.

I smiled hesitantly. Yes, Julian was free. I wasn't. There was still one person weighing heavily in my mind.

Our parents took out things to the car, whilke Julian and I stood looking around the house one final time. I sghed, still remembering the state I had arrived in.

"Are you ready?" Julian asked, holding out his hand. I gave him a questioning look.

"We'll leave this place together, ready to fight our demons." He looked outside the open door dramatically. I rolled my eyes and took his hand.

We slowly made our way outside into the cold air - there was a light covering of snow on the lawn and hedges around us.

My mum was waiting patiently in the car, as was Julian's dad. I turned to him, wondering when I would see him again.

"Thank you for listening to me," I said quietly, searching his face. He smiled, creating an unusual queasy feeling in my stomach.

"Listen, it was awesome being with you." He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. "I forgot to give this to you before - it's my mobile number. We'll stay in touch, right?"

"Definitely." I replied. I tore off a bit of the paper and scriblled down my number. I handed it to him.

"So its not a goodbye, but instead a catch you later?"

I laughed. "Yes."

We hugged one final time before going our separate ways. Mum started up the car and slowly pulled out of the driveway.

I watched the Georgian-style mansion slowly move away, and I leant back in the seat...awaiting what lied in the future.