The Only Way I Know

I arrived home later that evening, the hems of my pants soaked from the snow and my hands bitterly cold. The warm house greeted me like a hot blast of fire - as did the smells wafting from the kitchen.

"Sorry I'm late," I called out to Mum, hanging up my scarf and coat. Mum came out of the kitchen, holding a tray laden with steaming homemade pizza.

"Don't worry," she said, placing it down on the table. "Just get changed and have some dinner - your lips are blue!"

I hurried upstairs and grabbed the warmest clothes I could find. A small black and white bundle was purring softly as it slept peacefully on my bed.

"I forgot about you!" I exclaimed while picking up the kitten and holding it under my chin. His warm fur tickled my skin and sent a pleasant tingle down my spine. I held him in front of me and peered into his sparkling green eyes.

"What am I going to call you?" I ignored the fact that this cat reminded me of Tom instantly. Glancing up at my Rolling Stone poster, I noticed Billie Joe's eyes were of identical colour.

"How about the name Billie?" I asked the cat. It glared up at me, refusing to break eye contact. "You're right. Billie doesn't really suit you. We could always called you Joe..." My Ramones poster suddenly caught my eye. "That's it! I'll call you Joey, after Joey Ramone - and Billie Joe."

"Jamie!" My mum called from downstairs. I changed and carried Joey downstairs with me, taking a seat opposite my mum at the table.

"Joey's going to eat with us, aren't you?" I cooed, loving the feeling of velvety soft fur under my fingers.

"That's a good name for him," Mum smiled, taking a hot slice of pizza and placing it on my plate.

"It's after Joey Ramone...and Billie Joe for his green eyes," I said proudly as I placed Joey on my lap and gave him a string of cheese. "Was he lonely today?"

"He spent the whole day sleeping on your bed," Mum replied. "But he's going to be a bit more lonely from now on."

"What d'you mean?"

"I got an offer for a job at one of the big newspaper offices," Mum said, trying to hold back a smile. "Chief Editor. I haven't had a chief editor job since before you were born...I was so surprised they even offered me the job!"

"That's fanastic!" I said genuinely. I hadn't seen her as happy as this in so long that the expression looked almost weird. "How long do you work for?"

"Nine till five," she said. "You'll be home alone for a couple of hours after school - "

"That's okay," I said, immediately thinking of the afternoon with Julian. "I'll just hang out in town or something."

"I forgot to ask how your first day of school was," she added brightly. At my depressed look her happy expression faded. "Not so good, eh?"

I shook my head, forcing any thoughts of Tom from my mind.

"You can't have expected it to have been easy...some of those people thrive on a scandal. What do you think the gossip columns in magazines are?"

"It's not just that." Could I tell her about Tom?

"What?"

"Uh...catching up with the school work," I said quickly. "A few weeks of school work is too much to catch up on."

She sighed. "You're a fighter, Jamie. I know you are. You don't let anything get in the way, so just push through and you'll be rewarded afterwards." She smiled. "Get upstairs and start catching up."

Rolling my eyes, I took my plate to the sink and carried Joey back upstairs. Sure, I had lied about that one. I didn't have much to catch up on, really. Tom just lingered around my mind constantly. I sat down on my desk and placed Joey in front of me. He purred softly, closing his eyes and sleeping peacefully.

The present!

I jumped up abruptly, startling Joey and waking him up from his peaceful dozing.

"Sorry buddy," I apologised. "I just realised something - "

I fumbled through my dresser draws. Where was it?

I finally found it in the bottom draw of my bedside table. I fumbled slightly as I pulled it out, the red wrapping creased from being squashed. I had hidden it the night I got it, knowing that if I left it in view I would be too tempted to open it.

Memories of when he gave it to me flooded back.

Will you go out with me?

My first kiss, my first boyfriend...

Are you ready to open it? I asked myself. I took a deep breath. I couldn't drag it on like this...just get it over and done with, Jamie.

I closed my eyes as I tore away at the sticky tape. A thin gold chain slipped out of the paper and landed softly on the floor. I bent down to pick it up and felt a wave of sadness pass over me when I saw what it was.

A thin gold chain, with half of a heart serving as a pendant. Inscribed down the side of it was the word [i[Together.

I found a note hidden in the wrapping. It was short but sweet.

Jamie, thankyou for everything. The support, the help, the love. I have the other half of the heart on my necklace. Together, forever.

I held onto the necklace so tightly that it cut into the skin in the palm of my hand. I read the note over and over again, hoping the note would say more, have a different meaning...that it would do something. That it could heal my broken heart and rid the guilt swirling around in my head.

Together, forever...well, that lasted less than a week.

What was worse? Watching him move on, being with Jade and living with my guilt...or moving on and learning my lesson?