The Only Way I Know

So Long, And Goodnight

When I looked back upon the sixteen years of my life and the places I had been, I realised that it really had been a rollercoaster ride. It had all started back in a little house in suburban Australia with a happy family, a private school education and a loyal best friend. And yet it was only when that had been torn apart that I really started live. My life in England onwards had been hell. But it was living. It had its ups and downs and was always changing. Even after the death of a friend, a stint in rehab and a messy break up with a boyfriend it I managed to pull through.

Saying goodbye to Tom was hard. I put off everything else, even my boyfriend. And yet his departure somehow made life less complicated. No longer were there feuds between Julian and Tom to worry about, or old feelings that threatened to surface once again. That evening after me and Tom’s final goodbye was one of the most significant of my life. It was the night that I realised what the boyfriend standing beside me really meant. Julian was always going to stick by me, through thick and thin.

It’s now been six months since Tom left. I celebrated a birthday and established a job in between it all, and remembered that life would always go on. Julian and I are still together. It took a while for my tears to subside, but I explained to Julian there and then, in the park that night, what had happened. He wasn’t angry, or sad, or even happy that Tom had left – but he remained understanding. It showed that maybe my life wasn’t oh-so-depressing and dramatic after all. There were going to be highs and lows, and I was never going to be able to avoid that.

And there is no part of my life that I would change if I was offered the chance.

If there was one part of my life that hadn’t changed, it would have been the relationship with my father. Nothing happened there, either…

When my mother asked me if I wanted to move back to Australia a few weeks after Tom left, my immediate reaction was negative. And I have stood by that.

After all, life in England is now the only way I know…