Entirely Guilty by Design
Two
‘Sky! Hurry up! They’re there! They’re there!’ I jumped up as I heard my sister’s screams. When the meanings of her words sunk in, I started running. As I caught up to her, and she took my hand, my heart took a dangerous leap. I was going to meet Alibis. I was going to meet my hero. I was going to meet Josh Rowe. We ran to the stall and my breath got stuck in my throat when the blue of his hair caught my eyes. We got in line and I took my camera phone out.
‘Put that away, no pictures.’ A security guard snapped at me and I did as I was told. We got our papers ready and soon it was my turn. I looked up at him, because he was so freaking tall, and stared in amazement. He was looking behind me for someone, and when he looked down and noticed me, he smiled. I opened up my arms, and before I knew it I was hugging him.
‘You’re awesome.’ I stuttered as he trapped me in a bear hug.
‘Well thanks, so are you.’ He laughed and let go. I handed over my piece of paper, and he signed it. I took a few steps to the left to make way for my sister. I tore my eyes from his face as I tried to get ready to meet the rest of my favorite band, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. My eyes met a different blue than the one of Josh’s hair, a paler blue. It was the blue of his jacket...The guitarist’s. I looked up and met his brown eyes and his big, white smile. He was very, very pretty. He opened his arms for a hug, and I smiled back at him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and as he embraced me in the softest, warmest hug of my life, my head rested on his shoulder. On its way there, my cheek brushed his, and that’s when it happened. Both of our bodies stiffened up, and I felt the air rush out of our lungs, and at the same time, I saw my life flash before my eyes. I forgot everything I had ever known, everything I ever was, and everything I ever loved. In that short minute I completely lost myself. We reluctantly let go of each other, and I gave him another piece of paper to sign. I tried to calm my heart, and I stuttered as I thanked him. I then felt my sister’s presence next to me, so I continued on my way to see Martin. He gave me a huge smile.
‘Hey! How are you?’ He asked me while I hugged him.
‘Uh, I’m good?’ I answered in more of a question form than anything because honestly, I had no idea. ‘What about you?’ I added as he took the paper I offered.
‘I’m great!’ He said, and I smiled seeing why Michelle said he was so cool. ‘Have a good one!’ He added, handing me back the autographed paper.
‘Thanks, you too.’ I waved and headed over to the last of the four guys: the drummer. I handed over the paper, forgetting all about hugs. After he signed it and gave it back, I hugged him and thanked him. I stood to the side and waited for my sister to finish. She hugged Bert with a squeal; he was her favorite (She loved drummers). While he signed her jeans, I looked straight ahead to find what I was looking for. When I saw him, my heart quickened and my breath came in gasps. He was listening to Josh, but he didn’t seem to be hearing what his band mate was telling him. He just stared into space with a clouded look in his chocolate eyes. I sketched a picture of him in my mind, wanting to remember him forever (not that I would forget, but whatever). I took note of his messy, wet brown hair that sometimes fell in his eyes, and the way that his hands found their way to his pockets as he nodded to whatever Josh was saying. I got distracted by my sister’s laughter, so I broke my gaze to look at her.
‘Well, better get going, it was nice meeting you.’ Bert smiled at us and followed the rest of the band as they made their way for the van waiting for them. I followed him with my eyes until he was gone and I only moved when my sister tugged on my arm.
‘Skye, can you believe it? We just met Alibis! You got to meet Josh!’
‘Josh who?’
‘Ha-ha. Now can you buy me a shirt? Please?’ I chuckled nervously and nodded, feeling a little embarrassed after forgetting who my hero was for a second. We bought some shirts and pictures, and made our way back to the hotel. That night, I kept re-living that hug over and over again in my dreams. I woke up to find my sister already shoving her stuff in her suitcase. ‘Morning Skye!’ She smiled when she saw I was awake.
‘Hey, what time is it?’ I asked her while rubbing my eyes and putting my glasses on.
‘Like 9, so hurry up and get ready! I’m hungry!’ I groaned and got up, took a shower, got dressed, and packed. We checked out and headed for the car.
‘Where do you want to go?’ I asked her, not really caring because I wasn’t hungry at all.
‘Tim Horton’s!’
‘Okay.’ We drove there, and I gave her the money. ‘Just get me a hot chocolate.’ She thanked me and came back with a bag and two hot chocolates. I opened her door and took the hot drinks while she sat down and put on her seat belt. ‘Time to go home.’ She ate her bagel on the way, and I sipped my hot drink, not really tasting it. She turned on the CD player, and the sound of his voice in the background almost gave me a heart attack. I never noticed how pretty his voice was...I guess I was too busy paying attention to the lead singer’s voice. No one ever notices the backup vocals, and let me tell you, those ‘no one’s’ are missing out.
The farther we got from the island, the worse I felt. It felt like I was leaving half of me behind. As we pulled in the driveway to our house, I stopped the car and rushed out. I ran inside and to the bathroom to puke my guts out. My mom came in, alarmed.
‘What’s wrong honey?’
‘I don’t know. It must have been something I ate.’ I answered as I crumpled down on the floor.
‘But you barely ate anything.’ I heard my sister’s voice as she walked in the bathroom.
‘Than I must have caught the flu because of all that rain! Now can you guys leave?!’ They did, and I rested my head on my knees. Shanelle must have brought everything in, because she came back to tell me that my stuff was in my room. I nodded and waited until she was gone to get up and brush my teeth. After that was done, I went upstairs and got into bed, not bothering to get changed. I fell asleep with tears falling down my face, confused as to why I felt so alone.
The next day I woke up to my cat nudging my cheek to get under the blankets with me. I kissed her forehead and lifted them up. She curled up next to me and I smiled as she started to purr and lick my hands. She always knows when I need her, pr when I’m simply alone and sad. I just wished I knew why I felt so alone and sad.
The rest of the week went by, and I still felt like crap. I’d been crying myself to sleep every night, dreaming of him every night, but never figuring out why. I lost about 5 pounds that week, which made me happy. I’d been trying to lose weight for a while now, restricting the amounts of food that got into my body by a lot, but only managing to lose a couple of pounds. Now that I knew that barely eating at all worked this good, I figured why not just continue with it? It’s not like I was hungry anyways.
I logged on to MSN that Sunday night to find that Michelle was online.
|| Sky || : Hai
Michelle: Hey! How’s it going?
|| Sky || : Not too bad, you?
Michelle: I’m good! So did you get to meet the band?
|| Sky || : Yes, thanks to you :D If you wouldn’t have told us that they hung out after shows, we would have never met them, so thanks :D
Michelle: Haha no problem!
And so I told her all about it. I told her how happy I was to meet Josh and about what happened when I met Matt.
Michelle: Wow that’s pretty intense! I know what you mean though! I totally love Martin!
|| Sky || : Lol I know :P
Michelle: You know, I could totally give you Josh’s msn...I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you told him that I’m the one who gave it to you
And she did. I added him and waited. I waited 3 days for him to finally come online.
Jawsh: Hey who is this and how did you get my email?
|| Sky || : Hai, I’m Sky ^^ I got your email from one of Martin’s friends
Jawsh: OH HI :D Which friend?
|| Sky || : Michelle XD She lives in Ontario? She goes to a lot of you guy’s shows? I met her on the island at the festival...
Jawsh: I don’t know who that is :S
Jawsh: But apparently Matt does lol
|| Sky || : Ok? Lol
Jawsh: So did you like the show?
|| Sky || : YES! It was awesome! And I got to meet you guys after, which was even more awesome.
Jawsh: Cool!
|| Sky || : Yah LOL
|| Sky || : I was the one with the bright red pants and glasses XD I was with my little sister
Jawsh: Oh lol I don’t remember sorry :(
|| Sky || : It’s ok XD
Jawsh: Matt: were you the one with the joker shirt?
|| Sky || : ...Uhm I had a joker shirt on, yes...
Jawsh: Well Matt remembers you! I guess I just have a bad memory.
I think I was in danger of heart failure at that point, it was beating so hard. Matt Warner remembered me? We talked for a little while, and Josh told me he had to leave and that he was going to the studio the next morning.
Jawsh: Talk to you tomorrow maybe! Bye!
|| Sky || : Have fun tomorrow
Jawsh: I will! Matt says bye too!
|| Sky || : Bye
He logged off, and I starred at the computer screen for a while, not believing what had just happened. I couldn’t stop smiling that night, and as I went to bed, I actually fell asleep feeling a little bit less alone.
‘Put that away, no pictures.’ A security guard snapped at me and I did as I was told. We got our papers ready and soon it was my turn. I looked up at him, because he was so freaking tall, and stared in amazement. He was looking behind me for someone, and when he looked down and noticed me, he smiled. I opened up my arms, and before I knew it I was hugging him.
‘You’re awesome.’ I stuttered as he trapped me in a bear hug.
‘Well thanks, so are you.’ He laughed and let go. I handed over my piece of paper, and he signed it. I took a few steps to the left to make way for my sister. I tore my eyes from his face as I tried to get ready to meet the rest of my favorite band, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. My eyes met a different blue than the one of Josh’s hair, a paler blue. It was the blue of his jacket...The guitarist’s. I looked up and met his brown eyes and his big, white smile. He was very, very pretty. He opened his arms for a hug, and I smiled back at him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and as he embraced me in the softest, warmest hug of my life, my head rested on his shoulder. On its way there, my cheek brushed his, and that’s when it happened. Both of our bodies stiffened up, and I felt the air rush out of our lungs, and at the same time, I saw my life flash before my eyes. I forgot everything I had ever known, everything I ever was, and everything I ever loved. In that short minute I completely lost myself. We reluctantly let go of each other, and I gave him another piece of paper to sign. I tried to calm my heart, and I stuttered as I thanked him. I then felt my sister’s presence next to me, so I continued on my way to see Martin. He gave me a huge smile.
‘Hey! How are you?’ He asked me while I hugged him.
‘Uh, I’m good?’ I answered in more of a question form than anything because honestly, I had no idea. ‘What about you?’ I added as he took the paper I offered.
‘I’m great!’ He said, and I smiled seeing why Michelle said he was so cool. ‘Have a good one!’ He added, handing me back the autographed paper.
‘Thanks, you too.’ I waved and headed over to the last of the four guys: the drummer. I handed over the paper, forgetting all about hugs. After he signed it and gave it back, I hugged him and thanked him. I stood to the side and waited for my sister to finish. She hugged Bert with a squeal; he was her favorite (She loved drummers). While he signed her jeans, I looked straight ahead to find what I was looking for. When I saw him, my heart quickened and my breath came in gasps. He was listening to Josh, but he didn’t seem to be hearing what his band mate was telling him. He just stared into space with a clouded look in his chocolate eyes. I sketched a picture of him in my mind, wanting to remember him forever (not that I would forget, but whatever). I took note of his messy, wet brown hair that sometimes fell in his eyes, and the way that his hands found their way to his pockets as he nodded to whatever Josh was saying. I got distracted by my sister’s laughter, so I broke my gaze to look at her.
‘Well, better get going, it was nice meeting you.’ Bert smiled at us and followed the rest of the band as they made their way for the van waiting for them. I followed him with my eyes until he was gone and I only moved when my sister tugged on my arm.
‘Skye, can you believe it? We just met Alibis! You got to meet Josh!’
‘Josh who?’
‘Ha-ha. Now can you buy me a shirt? Please?’ I chuckled nervously and nodded, feeling a little embarrassed after forgetting who my hero was for a second. We bought some shirts and pictures, and made our way back to the hotel. That night, I kept re-living that hug over and over again in my dreams. I woke up to find my sister already shoving her stuff in her suitcase. ‘Morning Skye!’ She smiled when she saw I was awake.
‘Hey, what time is it?’ I asked her while rubbing my eyes and putting my glasses on.
‘Like 9, so hurry up and get ready! I’m hungry!’ I groaned and got up, took a shower, got dressed, and packed. We checked out and headed for the car.
‘Where do you want to go?’ I asked her, not really caring because I wasn’t hungry at all.
‘Tim Horton’s!’
‘Okay.’ We drove there, and I gave her the money. ‘Just get me a hot chocolate.’ She thanked me and came back with a bag and two hot chocolates. I opened her door and took the hot drinks while she sat down and put on her seat belt. ‘Time to go home.’ She ate her bagel on the way, and I sipped my hot drink, not really tasting it. She turned on the CD player, and the sound of his voice in the background almost gave me a heart attack. I never noticed how pretty his voice was...I guess I was too busy paying attention to the lead singer’s voice. No one ever notices the backup vocals, and let me tell you, those ‘no one’s’ are missing out.
The farther we got from the island, the worse I felt. It felt like I was leaving half of me behind. As we pulled in the driveway to our house, I stopped the car and rushed out. I ran inside and to the bathroom to puke my guts out. My mom came in, alarmed.
‘What’s wrong honey?’
‘I don’t know. It must have been something I ate.’ I answered as I crumpled down on the floor.
‘But you barely ate anything.’ I heard my sister’s voice as she walked in the bathroom.
‘Than I must have caught the flu because of all that rain! Now can you guys leave?!’ They did, and I rested my head on my knees. Shanelle must have brought everything in, because she came back to tell me that my stuff was in my room. I nodded and waited until she was gone to get up and brush my teeth. After that was done, I went upstairs and got into bed, not bothering to get changed. I fell asleep with tears falling down my face, confused as to why I felt so alone.
The next day I woke up to my cat nudging my cheek to get under the blankets with me. I kissed her forehead and lifted them up. She curled up next to me and I smiled as she started to purr and lick my hands. She always knows when I need her, pr when I’m simply alone and sad. I just wished I knew why I felt so alone and sad.
The rest of the week went by, and I still felt like crap. I’d been crying myself to sleep every night, dreaming of him every night, but never figuring out why. I lost about 5 pounds that week, which made me happy. I’d been trying to lose weight for a while now, restricting the amounts of food that got into my body by a lot, but only managing to lose a couple of pounds. Now that I knew that barely eating at all worked this good, I figured why not just continue with it? It’s not like I was hungry anyways.
I logged on to MSN that Sunday night to find that Michelle was online.
|| Sky || : Hai
Michelle: Hey! How’s it going?
|| Sky || : Not too bad, you?
Michelle: I’m good! So did you get to meet the band?
|| Sky || : Yes, thanks to you :D If you wouldn’t have told us that they hung out after shows, we would have never met them, so thanks :D
Michelle: Haha no problem!
And so I told her all about it. I told her how happy I was to meet Josh and about what happened when I met Matt.
Michelle: Wow that’s pretty intense! I know what you mean though! I totally love Martin!
|| Sky || : Lol I know :P
Michelle: You know, I could totally give you Josh’s msn...I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you told him that I’m the one who gave it to you
And she did. I added him and waited. I waited 3 days for him to finally come online.
Jawsh: Hey who is this and how did you get my email?
|| Sky || : Hai, I’m Sky ^^ I got your email from one of Martin’s friends
Jawsh: OH HI :D Which friend?
|| Sky || : Michelle XD She lives in Ontario? She goes to a lot of you guy’s shows? I met her on the island at the festival...
Jawsh: I don’t know who that is :S
Jawsh: But apparently Matt does lol
|| Sky || : Ok? Lol
Jawsh: So did you like the show?
|| Sky || : YES! It was awesome! And I got to meet you guys after, which was even more awesome.
Jawsh: Cool!
|| Sky || : Yah LOL
|| Sky || : I was the one with the bright red pants and glasses XD I was with my little sister
Jawsh: Oh lol I don’t remember sorry :(
|| Sky || : It’s ok XD
Jawsh: Matt: were you the one with the joker shirt?
|| Sky || : ...Uhm I had a joker shirt on, yes...
Jawsh: Well Matt remembers you! I guess I just have a bad memory.
I think I was in danger of heart failure at that point, it was beating so hard. Matt Warner remembered me? We talked for a little while, and Josh told me he had to leave and that he was going to the studio the next morning.
Jawsh: Talk to you tomorrow maybe! Bye!
|| Sky || : Have fun tomorrow
Jawsh: I will! Matt says bye too!
|| Sky || : Bye
He logged off, and I starred at the computer screen for a while, not believing what had just happened. I couldn’t stop smiling that night, and as I went to bed, I actually fell asleep feeling a little bit less alone.