What Are You Waiting For?

I really want to kiss him.

It’s been a day, but I already feel like we’ve known each other for weeks, maybe months.

I don’t want to freak him out, though, make him think that I just want physical contact, which isn’t it at all. I’ve never gotten past kissing with anyone before, well, besides those couple girls I faked a make out with to please my parents. It sounds horrible, I know, but that was before I could care less whether I get kicked out or not. I stopped that after people started calling me a whore. Unlike Ethan, I don’t take pride in that name.

“Ian.” I said, looking at Ian, my heart rate speeding up. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.

He looked at me, and I automatically felt doubtful and embarrassed. Should I ask? Should I just do it?

I put my hand on his shoulder. “I’m just gonna…no, no. I’m not. Um,” I paused, feeling this whole thing going downhill. “Could I, um, kiss…you?” I asked flat out, cursing myself for how horribly it came out.

His eyes literally lit up at my question, smiling and nodding lightly.

My heartbeat picked up pace, if that was even possible, as I started slowly leaning towards Ian’s lips.

It felt like my first kiss, all nerve racking and awkward.

Once our lips connected, though, all the awkwardness and nerves went away, and my heart almost instantly slowed to a calmer pace.

Ian’s hand found my cheek and I found his waist, pulling him lightly into me.

I couldn’t stop smiling when our lips parted.

I felt a pair of eyes on us, and it was confirmed when Riley said, “You guys are so cute.”

“Riley!” I whined. “Why were you watching?”

“I just walked in, don’t worry.” He said, laughing.

I just glared at him. He was most likely lying.

“Well, we should probably be going soon. I didn’t call mom.” Riley said.

I looked Ian, proving him right, and he just rolled his eyes and hit me softly. “Alright, if you must.”

“Thanks for having us, it was a fun time.” Riley said, going to hug Ian. “Thank you Ian’s mom!”

“You’re welcome, dear! You’re welcome to stop over anytime!” She yelled from in the kitchen.

“Will do!” I yelled back.

I grabbed my backpack off the floor as Ian opened the door and followed us outside.

“Thanks for stopping by, it’s so awesome, especially for the new kid.” Ian said, hugging Riley again.

“It’s no problem, you’re an awesome person. Now I’ll let you two say your own goodbyes and whatnot!” Riley yelled, practically sprinting off the porch to leave us alone.

He’s so awkward and obvious.

I couldn’t look at Ian without blushing, but our eyes eventually met and we hugged.

“Should we give this whole thing a try?” Ian asked in my ear.

Before I could think, I nodded into his shoulder.

I felt Ian lift my head off his shoulder so our lips could meet again.

“I’ll bring you something amazing tomorrow, okay? Have any preferences?” He asked.

I didn’t want anything, he didn’t have to do anything for me, but I could tell that he was one of those guys that don’t take that for an answer.

“Chocolate chip muffins?” I asked shyly.

He smiled, kissing me again briefly. “I can do that.” He rested his head on my shoulder, and I tightened my embrace. “I’ll see you in school tomorrow.” He said quietly.

I let go of him. “See ya.”

I walked down his steps and made my way towards Riley, who was beaming.

“You guys move fast.” Riley said, putting an arm around my waist.

“Shut up, you just don’t understand.” I said, elbowing him before putting my arm around his waist as well.

“Do you think you’re going to miss the single life?” He asked.

I laughed. “Hell no.”

We turned the corner and saw Ethan coming down the opposite way. I automatically sighed and rolled my eyes, taking my hand away from Riley, Riley doing the same.

“What, are you two together now?” Ethan asked, taking a long drag off of his cancer stick.

“No, definitely not. Why do you care? Do you want me or something?” Riley asked. I sensed some slight teasing in his tone.

“Do you really have to ask?” Ethan answered with a question, giving Riley a seductive face.

“Don’t you have that Chase guy or whatever?” I asked, not liking the fact that Ethan was eyeing Riley up like a piece of meat.

“Since when am I one to stick to one person?” Ethan asked, coughing out a sarcastic laugh, then looking at me. “Then again, I could ask you the same question, you little bitch.”

“It’s not like I got in their pants or anything, I never took it that far. That’s just disgusting.” I said, scowling. I knew he’d bring something up about that.

“Well I saw you basically sucking face with that new kid, taking away his pride and innocence on the first day-”

“Shut the fuck up, Ethan. Before you open your mouth and start talking shit, learn the facts. We weren’t ‘sucking face’, it was just a kiss. He kissed me. Not the other way around, not that it makes a difference.” I said, more rather yelled at him.

He just took another drag of his cigarette in response.

We started walking around Ethan until Riley got caught by Ethan’s hand, which was gripping Riley’s wrist.

“What now, Ethan, seriously?” Riley asked, standing in his “I really don’t want to be here” pose, free hand on his hip. “Stop trying to get me, seriously. It’s not going to work. I don’t ever seeing me with you. Now let go before I slap you.”

All Ethan did was smirk.

Riley lifted his free hand up, getting ready to slap him, but psyched him out and kneed him where it hurts, making Ethan collapse on the sidewalk, freeing us to go home.

“God damn, he’s relentless.” I said as we turned down our street.

“Yeah, try being the one he’s after, not fun. Maybe he knows I’m serious now.” Riley said, clearly pissed.

“If he’s not there’s something seriously wrong with him.” I said.

We didn’t talk the rest of the way there, both of us probably preoccupied with things: Riley with the whole Ethan situation, and myself with Ian.

That thing about his innocence and all that stuck in my mind for some reason. Ethan did have a point, a good point. I basically took him away before anyone else could even think about looking at him. Granted we’re into each other, but I’m starting to doubt myself in whether I agreed to this whole thing way too early or not. What if Ian isn’t everything he’s cracked up to be? What if he’s a completely different person than what he showed me? Worse, what if he’s the whore in this situation? What if he only wants me for physical contact?

I shook my head and cleared my mind of those ridiculous questions and thoughts, though some of them still remained.

Maybe I should call him and tell him that we should hold off for a while and get to know each other better.

I walked into the house after Riley and went straight to our room, playing around with my phone, contemplating whether to call him or not.

I threw my phone on my nightstand and decided against it.

“So you already snagged the new guy.”

I turned my head and saw, who else, the twins standing in the doorway.

“What of it?” I asked, staring at the ceiling.

“He’s probably using you.” Keegan said, looking at his nail.

“Fuck off.” I said, slightly offended that he would say that about Ian. Ian would never do that to me, would he?

“He just invited you and Riley along on this long ride of deception and false feelings. You’re basically giving yourself away, like an easy target.” Kaedyn said.

I didn’t say anything. What they’re saying could be possible, even if I don’t want to think about it. Ian’s too good of a person to do that to anyone.

When I looked out the door they were gone, and I just closed my eyes on my pillow, unexpectedly falling asleep, Ian appearing in my dreams multiple times.

I woke up to my alarm and felt awake, which is opposite of what I usually am in the morning.

The thoughts from last night come pouring back into my mind, and I automatically start worrying. I got out of bed and did my daily morning routine, Riley helping me pick out an outfit and making my hair look amazing.

Our breakfast consisted of Pop Tarts. I had a secret stash behind the dried bananas. Riley’s mom would not appreciate us eating this in the morning, or at all.

“Nick, you alright?” Riley asked as we made our way out to the twins’ car.

I nodded. “Oh yeah, definitely. Just tired.” I lied.

We said nothing the whole car ride there.

I need to talk to Ian.