Still Breathing

Banner by Catherine

April, 9 years later…

Miranda put the finishing touches on the elaborate cake then set to tidying up the kitchen. She had an hour and a half before everyone poured into the house to celebrate. Glancing around her stainless steel kitchen she smiled, loving the newer, bigger kitchen she got to play in. Moving to a bigger house period was great. They actually had private space again with each person having their own room. They’d only been in this house since January, but it already felt like home.

She scooped the leftover frosting into a container (taking one last taste, of course) then put it in her highly-decorated refrigerator. Family pictures were scattered amongst the finger paintings and A+ tests. She couldn’t dwell on her wonderful moments right now though; too much to do. She quickly finished loading the fancy hundred-button dishwasher then bustled into the living room to remove all the breakable things set on tables. She picked up her and Nick’s wedding photo and smiled at the memory.

They’d gotten married 2 years after he proposed to her with the Ring Pop (which was replaced with a diamond that she insisted was too big, but he insisted was perfect for her). They had decided to wait a bit so they could sort out their personal issues, but she did move in with him and the kids. Basically during that time she was wife and mother without the paperwork to say so…and she hadn’t minded that at all. Taking Aiden and Abby to school and errands was fun for her and made her happy. She gained self-confidence in herself again and moved past her suicidal tendencies while Nick worked on fully healing from losing Carrie.

On their wedding day in late August 2018 they stood side-by-side and took their vows to love, honor, and cherish each other for the rest of their lives with smiles on their faces and love in their eyes. It was one of her happiest memories. Aiden and Abby stood with them as a family unit, showing that they were in this together. Aiden had worn a tuxedo that every 6 year old hated to wear and Abby had worn a lovely summer dress, more concentrated on the petals she got to drop on the ground as any 2 year would be. Tracing her finger on the outline of the frame, Miranda smiled knowing she wouldn’t have changed a thing about that day. It was perfect through and through.

She set the picture on the mantel where it wouldn’t be disturbed by little hands and tidies up the rest of the room. She discovered one of Aiden’s DS games in the couch and one of Abby’s Barbie shoes under the couch. As she stuffed those treasures in her pocket she moved a pillow and found Ruby’s missing pacifier. She palmed it then walked to the kitchen, disposing of it in the trashcan; that could just stay lost as far as Miranda was concerned.

Eleven month after Miranda and Nick were married they welcomed Rebecca Amelia Jonas to the family. She had her daddy’s hair and mommy’s face and Aiden and Abby fought over who got to hold her. A little over three and a half years later in 2023 they welcomed their third daughter Ruby Charlotte Jonas into the world on an unusually warm February night. Ruby was the spitting image of Miranda and again the apple of everyone’s attention. Now at two and half years old it was time to say bye-bye to the pacifier.

She glanced at the clock and counted down. 3…2…1

“Mom! We’re home!” The front door burst open and feet pounded through the foyer.

She felt a ripple of joy go through her spine at the title, never tiring of hearing that special title that was all hers again. Stepping through the kitchen door, she cut the running feet off at the pass, wrapping her arms around Rebecca as she tried to sneak a peek at the cake.

“But, Mom, I wanna see the cake,” Rebecca pouted in 5 year old fashion, though in just a few short months she’d be 6.

“Becka, that pout might work on your dad but not me. It’s your sister’s birthday, not yours. We’ll all see the cake once everyone gets here,” Miranda smoothed her daughter’s wild dark curls. “Did you have fun with Grandma and Grandpa Dennis?”

“Lots and lots of fun! The zoo was filled with a bazillion animals, Mommy! There were lions and snakes and bears and tigers and monkeys and…lions,” Becka rambled, completely forgetting about the forbidden cake, as Miranda walked her back to the others.

Miranda hugged her saviors and took Ruby from Ted as she stretched her arms towards her mommy. She and Nick had decided to let Rebecca and Ted be part of the kids’ lives as grandparents since they were so supportive of them. They even named a daughter after Rebecca. Latching on to something more interesting, Becka wandered off to see what Abby was doing.

“Thank you so much. I hope they weren’t too unmanageable,” she said, stroking Ruby’s baby soft hair as she laid her head in the crook of Miranda’s neck and shoulder.

“They were absolute darlings. It was wonderful to spend the morning with our granddaughters. I just wish we could be here for the party but those other plans…I’d cancel if I could,” Rebecca said apologetically.

“We wish you could be here too, but just getting them out from under foot long enough this morning was fabulous. Nick and Aiden should be home soon too with his friends before everyone arrives.”

“Don’t hesitate to ask us to watch them. You know we will in a heartbeat,” Ted tweaked Ruby’s toes affectionately, making her giggle around her thumb.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Miranda chuckled.

“We’ve got to scoot. Have fun and don’t push yourself, Miranda,” Rebecca instructed sternly, kissing her cheek as Miranda nodded. “Abby darling, have a fantastic birthday, sweetie,” she told her curly blonde granddaughter.

“Okay, Grandma. Love you,” she ran over, giving them both hugs. Then the Dennises left, leaving Miranda with her three girls.

Two hours later the house was filled to the brim with relatives and friends. Nick had given Aiden permission to invite three friends over so he’d have boys his age to play with. Plus Abby invited three of her friends for her birthday party. Denise and Paul showed up first half an hour early so Denise could help Miranda set up last minute party stuff. Paul and Nick supervised the kids in the backyard so no one got hurt, especially Ruby. Joe and Charlotte arrived right on time with their kids: Mason and Makenzie, now nearly 12 year old; Julianna, 8; and Andrew, 6. Charlotte had drawn the line at 4 and made Joe get a vasectomy, which he did for her with only a little complaining on his side and bribing on hers. Frankie and his fiancée Kendall arrived at the same time Amy and Mike did with their kids: Alexis, 8, and Mikey, 5. True to his word, Nick had been there for Alexis’ birth and proudly called himself her godfather as Amy called herself Rebecca’s godmother. On any given weekend either Alexis was at their house or Abby was over at Alexis’; they were inseparable best friends.

True to form, Kevin and Lynn’s crew came in half an hour late. Luckily they had stopped at 5 kids, 3 girls and 2 boys: Rose, now 15; Kara, now 13; Emma, now 11; Hunter, now almost 9; and Jordan, 6.

“Rose, this is your cousin’s birthday and you will be here. I don’t care if your boyfriend has other plans. He can get over it,” Lynn told her eldest, grumpy daughter.

“But, Mom,” Rose protested as her siblings happily joined the party.

“No, Rose. Drop it. I don’t want to hear another word about it. You’re here to stay. End of story,” Lynn said sternly. “Kevin, talk to your daughter,” she heavily sighed, passing him to join the other women in the kitchen.

“Dad,” Rose sidled up to him, giving the pouty face. “Please?”

“Rose, it’s just for a few hours. You can call Dean tonight, okay?” Kevin squeezed her shoulders in a side hug.

“Fine,” she sighed and pushed away from him to go sulk. Once she hit the teen years, and high school in particular this year, she’d become obsessed with boys and was in her first relationship much to Kevin’s dislike though the boy she was with was nice.

“Hey, Rosie. Why the long face?” Joe asked, tickling her sides to get a smile out of her unsuccessfully.

“Stop it, Uncle Joe,” she shoved his hands away and wrapped her own around her waist.

“Hey now, as your favorite uncle and godfather I demand to know why I can’t tickle you,” he wrapped his arm over her shoulders.

“It’s nothing,” she shrugged him off.

“She’s losing boyfriend time,” Kevin explained dryly.

“Ahh,” Joe nodded, grabbing Rose’s arm and pulling her into a deserted corner. “You sneak upstairs and call him. I’ll cover for you.”

Rose’s jaw dropped. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. Now scoot,” he nudged her towards the stairs.

“Are you sure you’re 35? You’re too cool to be that old,” she joked, throwing her arms around his neck in a tight hug. “Thank you, Uncle Joe!” Then she ran upstairs, dialing as she took the stairs two at a time.

“Joe, you spoil her,” Kevin said from behind him, making him jump.

“Maybe, but it’s my job. Besides there’s no one here her age and her boyfriend meets mine, and your, approval. Kara at least has Aiden, his friends, and Kenzie and Mason to hang out with.”

Kevin hung his head with a resigned sigh. “Just don’t let Lynn find out. She’ll have my head.”

“Deal,” Joe clapped him on the back and swung Ruby up in the air as she came toddling past him, sending her into a fit of giggles.

Cake and presents had been chaos. Everyone crowded around the patio table in the backyard to sing to Abby. Just the look on her face was all pure happiness. There was no denying that she was loved very much and it wasn’t every day a girl turned 9 with all her family around her. The cake was cut and eaten by all. Laughter was the primary noise in the yard as adults watched kids and socialized and kids gobbled cake and chased each other.

Nick, Joe, and Kevin brought all the presents outside for opening since there was no way they were fitting close to 30 people in their living room. Kids swarmed like bees to them, pushing Abby to the front so she could open the gifts.

“What’s wrong, Aiden?” Miranda rubbed his back lightly as he hung back from the group. He’s been strange all day which was one reason Nick had taken him along with him to run errands in an attempt to get him to talk about whatever was bothering him. No such luck though.

“Nothin’,” he shrugged her hand off and sulked away, leaving her confused.

She was about to follow him when Ruby was passed to her in tears and Aiden’s behavior was forgotten. She motioned to Nick over a bunch of kids’ heads that she was going inside to get Ruby’s blankie. Receiving a nod in response she turned and hastily went to find the beloved possession.

Shifting Ruby to her hip, blanket in hand, she hurried to rejoin the party. Just as she stepped into the kitchen though the doorbell rang. Releasing a heavy sigh she and Ruby answered the door.

“Cade.”

The man in question stood on her doorstep looking relieved and frazzled. About six months after he’d left for the West Coast Cade had returned to get the last of his stuff in storage and had spent a long time talking with Nick. After that conversation, which Miranda had no idea what was discussed, Cade and Nick seemed to talk on a regular basis at least once a month to catch up on each other’s lives and slowly rebuild their friendship. Nick wasn’t willing to forgive him for what he’d done but he was willing to move on from it and start anew. Cade had come back for their wedding even though he lived permanently in California with his family.

“Hey Miranda. Looking beautiful as always. And you’ve even got that special glow about you. Hello Ruby,” he smiled, adjusting the sleeping baby on his shoulder. “Sorry we’re late. Our flight was delayed in Chicago.”

Miranda blushed at the compliment, waving it off. “Such a charmer as always, Cade. It’s no problem you’re late. They’re just out back opening presents. You can grab some cake on your way,” she let them in. “How are you, Brooke? Hello Bethany. Hello Amber. And Erika is sleeping. Precious.” She stroked the baby’s soft plump cheek.

“Hi Miranda. I’m good. Cade won’t let me hold Erika at all which I shouldn’t complain about I guess. He is such a hands-on dad,” she sent a loving glance to her husband who was talking to his other two daughters about manners. Then the girls darted to the party.

Cade had met Brooke shortly after moving to California and they’d married a year later. By the time Nick and Miranda married they already had their eldest daughter Bethany, now 7. Megan followed three years later and Erika was the newest edition at 6 months old. Miranda was happy Cade finally had the family he always wanted.

They stepped outside where all the laughter was. Bethany and Megan were already consumed into the mosh pit of kids surrounding Abby.

“Did I miss cake?” Cade asked loudly, faking disappointment.

Abby’s head shot up, beaming him a smile. “Uncle Cade!” she shouted excitedly. With a little lift from Frankie over heads, she ran to him and wrapped him in a hug.

“Missed you, kiddo,” he bent and kissed her head. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you. Come see my presents,” she dragged him into the pit.

Miranda observed the nods of hellos between him and the guys and was happy relationships had been mended. They’d worked hard to be friends again and it was nearly back to where Nick and Cade had been before all the Carrie drama. She smiled to herself knowing she’d hear about this from Nick tonight in bed.

Ruby giggled and latched onto Kendall’s neck like a monkey. It was obvious how close-knit everyone was in the family and Kendall fit right in. Miranda couldn’t wait to welcome her into the family in December.

Arching her back, Miranda stretched out the tight pain. Sitting gently into a chair she rubbed her rounded belly. Come August they’d be adding to their family again. With a smile she watched the festivities continue as she took a breather.

As the sky turned gold, amber, and red hues, the party wound down. The kids had moved inside to play with toys in the basement. But after some more socializing over the remaining cake people did start to leave. Kevin and Lynn finally succumbed to Rose’s please to leave so she could meet up with Dean (Lynn had found out about the calls) and had taken Hunter with them because he had an early baseball game tomorrow, much to his dismay. They also took Jordan, letting Andrew come over for a sleepover. Joe and Charlotte ended up leaving with just one of their kids, Makenzie, and two of Kevin’s, Kara and Emma. Though the girls spanned across 3 grades (5th-7th) they got along excellently, so sleepovers happened regularly. Cade and Brooke left with their three girls pretty early since they were tired from the flight. Promises for playdates were arranged though. Amy and Mike took only Mikey home with them to have some one-on-one time with him. Frankie and Kendall were some of the last to leave. Frankie had gotten hooked into playing video fames with Aiden and his friends that it took Kendall physically pulling his arm to get him out of the house. His parents were the last to leave after making sure Nick and Miranda could handle everyone.

So all in all, the party had been a success and now came the sleepover part. Abby had 3 friends from school over, plus Julianna and Alexis. Aiden also had 3 friends over, plus Mason. Plus their two remaining children. In total they had 13 kids in their house tonight. All the kids had invaded the basement though making it easier to keep track of them. Even Becka was down there even though she was much younger than the rest of the kids; she was her big brother’s little shadow and thought the earth revolved around him. Ruby was the only kid upstairs with her parents, but she didn’t mind.

Nick entered the kitchen from checking on the kids and stopped in his tracks. Even after almost 7 years of marriage Miranda still managed to take his breath away. She was loading the dishes with Ruby on her hip.

“The spoon goes in here too,” Miranda talked to her chattering daughter. “Can Ruby say ‘spoon’?”

“Poon!” Ruby squealed happily.

“Good job!” Miranda kissed her cheek. “What’s this?”

“Fork!” Ruby exclaimed reaching for it.

“Excellent! You’re my little genius,” she cooed. “And who’s this?” she pointed to Ruby’s nose.

Ruby’s eyes lit up as she shouted, “Bee!” and clapped for herself.

Nick smiled at his laughed wife and daughter. He quietly stepped behind them and snaked an arm around Miranda’s expanded waist. She jumped a little and angled her body to him, smiling. “And who’s this?” he asked Ruby pointing to Miranda.

“MOMMY!” Ruby threw her hands up before smacking a wet kiss on Miranda’s cheek.

“I love you too, sweetie,” she said smiling, biting back tears. Her hormones had her so emotional these days.

“And I love both of you,” Nick kissed each girl, “but you shouldn’t be holding her, Miranda. She’s too heavy.” He took Ruby out of her arms and settled her on his hip.

“No, she’s not, Nick. I may be 5 months pregnant but I can still hold our daughter,” she disagreed. “I’m not breakable.”

Nick sighed and pulled her into him. “I know you aren’t, but this pregnancy has been different…more difficult than the previous two. I just worry.”

Miranda wrapped her arms around him, tipping her chin up to him. “You do worry and most days I don’t mind it. But don’t get overbearing, babe. I won’t like that.”

“Okay,” he pecked her awaiting lips lovingly.

“Baby,” Ruby leaned over and touched Miranda’s belly. “Love you,” she kissed her growing sibling.

Miranda’s eyes teared up again as she smoothed her daughter’s hair. She was so thankful for her family. “Hormones,” she choked out to Nick as he wiped her tears away.

“Uh huh,” he assented knowing she was really touched by what Ruby did. So was he.

Pounding feet and shouting turned their attention to the basement door.

“You could be a little nicer to me since it’s my birthday, but I am sorry, Aiden. It was an accident!” Abby said loudly and emphatically on her brother’s heels.

Aiden sent her a glare over his shoulder as he marched through the living room towards the stairs. He’d begun his growth spurt and was nearly as tall as Miranda now looking like a mini-Nick. Thankfully his voice hadn’t started to change yet. “Whatever, Abby,” he scoffed.

“I am sorry, Aiden,” she stomped her foot, tugging on his arm. Their friends and cousins had trailed behind them, now clustered at the basement door.

Nick and Miranda frowned in the kitchen doorway, trying to assess what really happened. Aiden and Abby rarely fought so it was a mild shock to see.

Aiden shook her fingers off. “Let go! God, you’re so annoying! Why do you have to be such a retard, Abby? Even Becka is smarter than you,” he yelled in her face maliciously.

Abby’s lower lip trembled, but she fought her tears valiantly. “That’s mean. Y-You’re lying!” she shouted back.

At the same time she yelled that, Nick began in earnest to clear his way to his kids followed by Miranda. Things were escalating to something he didn’t like. “Aiden!” he balked at his son’s harshness. He’d never heard Aiden be so mean before, especially to his sisters.

“No I’m not. You’re just an annoying, whiny twit!” Aiden shouted back, so angry his cheeks were red. Nick’s shout never reached his ears.

Abby looked over her shoulder seeking out her parents. “Mom…” she whimpered with teary eyes. Miranda maneuvered her rounded belly even faster through the kids to get to her daughter.

“God, you really are stupid, Abby! She’s not our real mom! You killed our mom. Our mom died so you could be here. Way to go, idiot. I’d like a re-trade. Anyone but you,” he spat at her in the lowest, meanest way possible.

Of course Nick and Miranda had been honest with Abby about her birth mother. There was really no way to avoid it once Abby was old enough to question why she had blonde hair while neither Nick nor Miranda did. She still thought of Miranda as her real mother though. She was the only one she’d ever known.

“Aiden Nicholas!” Nick scolded appalled and ashamed.

Tears trailed down Abby’s cheeks as she looked at her brother with blurry eyes. “I-I hate you…I hate you!” she screamed at Aiden and ran past him up the stairs just as Nick laid a hand on her shoulder.

Aiden followed right behind her, going to his room. “Good, cuz I hate you too!” he yelled.

“This is the worst birthday ever!”

Nick looked up the stairs after his kids, closing his eyes as two doors slammed shut. Everyone was silent. He opened his eyes and met Miranda’s troubled ones.

“What happened?” he focused on the remaining kids in the room. He stood by Miranda waiting for an answer that looked hesitant to come. No one seemed willing to squeal on what happened in the basement. He crossed his arms and did his best ‘I’m waiting’ look.

“It was an accident, Uncle Nick. Aiden is just being unreasonable,” Julianna piped up with her large vocabulary for an 8 year old.

“Yeah right, Julianna. It was so Abby’s fault,” Mason scoffed at his sister, defending his cousin.

“Nuh uh!” Julianna disagreed, hands on her hips.

“What is or isn’t Abby’s fault?” Nick interrupted the sibling squabble.

“Aunt Miranda,” Alexis spoke up as voice of reason. “Abby dropped a game on Aiden’s Xbox accidentally and it turned off. She didn’t mean to do it. All she was trying to do was get a game down that Aiden wouldn’t get for her after she asked him to.”

“He was in the middle of a huge winning streak! You just can’t stop in the middle,” Mason exclaimed in exasperation.

Nick nodded, absorbing both stories. “Okay. Where are you doing, Becka?” he caught her by the shoulder.

“To see Aiden. He’s sad,” she said simply.

“No, you stay here. Mommy and I will go talk to them,” he redirected her back towards the rest of the kids. “Play.”

“Mason, will you watch Ruby please?” Miranda asked setting her down as her nephew nodded and took his cousin’s hand, leading her to toys.

Miranda followed Nick upstairs. “You take Abby. I’ll take Aiden,” she said.

“You sure?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Yes. He seems mad at me most, not Abby. He and I need to talk.”

Nick nodded, gave her a kiss, then they both knocked on their respective doors and walked in the rooms.

Miranda quietly shut Aiden’s door behind her and turned to see him sprawled stomach-down on his bed. Her heart lurched in her chest as she realized again that he wasn’t her little boy anymore. Her son was growing up. He’d be a teenager in just a mere two months.

“Go away,” Aiden mumbled into his pillow.

“May I sit down?” she asked softly by his bed, waiting for an answer. When he didn’t reply she took that as a yes and sat. “Aiden…” she sighed placing a hand on his back. He scooted away from her touch. Miranda bit her lower lip against the rejection and wrung her hands in her lap, forcing them to stay there. “Aiden, what’s the matter? I know you aren’t really mad at Abby like you want us to believe. What did I do to upset you?” she pleaded gently, sighing with emotion.

He rolled over and stole a look at her from the corner of his eye. One look at her misty eyes and he was wrapping his arms around her shoulders, struggling with his own tears.

“Don’t cry, Mom. I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just in a sour mood,” he whispered into her shoulder. He loved her so much even in his bad moods and hated when she cried which happened a lot lately with the pregnancy. He could never tell if she was really upset or just happy. This time he knew she was upset.

She twisted around, curling her leg underneath her to meet his face. “Then what’s bothering you? You never say hurtful things to your sisters and to say…to say I’m not your mother…that just hurts me. What did I do, Aiden?” she implored, keeping her tears at bay.

He dropped his arms and concentrated his gaze on his lap. “I’m gonna be 13 in two months…” he murmured.

She ran her hand through his messy curls, cupping his cheek. “Yes I know you will be, sweetie. You’re growing up so fast.”

“Yeah well…its just she’s – my first mom – she’s been gone for almost 9 years. I guess I just miss her… Not that I don’t love you, Mom, cuz I do,” he hastily added on.

“Oh honey, I know you love me and its okay to miss her. I still miss Corey and Eli even though I have Dad and all my beautiful children. And Dad even misses her too,” she said sympathetically.

“Really?” he met her eyes hopefully.

“Really. You don’t have to keep all this in you, Aiden. Dad and I are here to listen whenever you need us to.”

“Okay. I just got feeling down because well there’s this girl at school…and well Mason can talk to Aunt Charlotte about this stuff and it made me realize I was missing that,” he confessed, hanging his head embarrassed.

She tilted his chin up. “You’ve still got me though and I know lots about being a girl,” she smiled.

He gave her a smile in return that was his signature crooked one. “Yeah I do and you’re a great mom. I love you, Mom,” he wrapped his arms around her again, his mood greatly improved.

“Oh.” Miranda straightened, her hand pressing against her belly. “Speaking of moms and kids, your brother wants in on the action too. Here, feel.” She grabbed Aiden’s hand and held it where the baby was kicking against her belly.

“Cool. He’s gonna be a soccer player for sure,” Aiden said with eyes aglow. He couldn’t wait to meet his little brother in 4 months. He wanted one so badly that it was great it was finally coming true.

She smiled at his look of joy. “Are you going to teach him how to play soccer?” she asked, clearing her throat.

“Sure. As well as baseball. He’ll be a Yankees fan too obviously. He’ll be great cuz he’s my little brother,” he answered with pride.

Tears sprung to Miranda’s eyes again. “Have you decided on a name for your brother yet?” Since it was the first boy for Nick and Miranda they decided to let Aiden choose his brother’s name. But they, of course, had to approve of it.

“I think so, yeah,” he nodded.

“And…?”

“And I like the name Riley Owen Jonas. It sticks with the ‘R’ thing you and Dad have going on and it sounds cool. What do you think?”

“I think it passes me. Just run it by your dad and then we’ll have a name for the baby,” she smiled and squeezed his hand. “Now don’t you think you owe Abby and apology? You said some pretty nasty things to her.”

Aiden sighed. “Yeah I did, didn’t I? I didn’t mean them, but they still hurt her feelings…and on her birthday too. I’m such a jerk,” he beat himself up.

“No you aren’t. You’re a sweet, caring big brother who let his temper get away from him. But you know how to fix it,” she rumpled his curls again, kissing his forehead.

“Yeah I do. Hold on a minute.” He jumped off his bed and dug through his closet on a mission to find what he was looking for.

As Aiden rummaged through his closet, Nick was trying to coax Abby to open her closet door; her hiding place for years.

“Abby sweetie, he is just upset about something. He really isn’t mad at you,” he said gently, crouched at the door talking through it.

“H-He s-said I k-killed out f-first m-mom,” she hiccupped back to him, not opening the door.

“He’s wrong. She was in a car accident. You know that. Now please open up,” he pleaded. He waited a full minute in silence before the closet door cracked open an inch. He sighed and opened it wider to take in his daughter’s tear-streaked face. “Oh Abby baby,” he crooned and opened his arms for her to crawl into his lap.

“He h-hurt my f-feelings, D-Daddy,” she cried, burying her race in shirt. “W-Why did h-he have t-to be s-so m-mean?”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it, Abby. He’s just a teenage boy who is going through a lot of stuff right now. He really doesn’t hate you. That’s impossible. Mom is talking to him right now-”

The bedroom door opened slowly and Aiden poked his head in, Miranda behind him.

“Abby?”

Seeing him, she scurried back into the closet, closing the door firmly. Nick sighed and gave Aiden a harsh look.

Aiden ignored the look and squatted at the door. “I’m sorry for what I said, Abby. I was wrong to say that stuff. I am glad you’re my sister. I wouldn’t trade you for anything. Can I come in? I have something for you,” he said then waited for an answer. All he heard was sniffles. “Batman needs his Batgirl…” he murmured softly recalling one of their old games they used to play until he hit middle school.

Finally the cracked open for him and he crawled in. “Thanks.”

“I’m still mad at you,” she huffed, behind her knees as she held them to her chest. “What’d you have for me?”

“It’s two things actually,” he corrected. “First, I need to say I’m sorry. I wasn’t mad at you or that you turned the game off. Accidents happen. But it was like that straw thing Dad rants about when he gets mad and starts yelling at Mom before she yells back at him, you know? Just things built up inside me and then exploded.”

“Oh. What were you thinking about then?”

“Our first mom. I got upset that she wasn’t here to share stuff with us anymore. But Mom talked it out with me so I’m better now. It made me realize though that you really don’t know much about our first mom like I do so I thought I’d tell you some stuff about her. Stuff I remember.”

“I love Mom though,” Abby said, but still moved closer to him.

“I do too, but we can love both our moms. We’re pretty special to have two,” he said. “Anyway, the first thing is a picture of her.”

Abby took the picture in her slender hands. “Where am I? It’s just you and her.”

“You’re in her belly right there,” he pointed to Carrie’s large belly. “Dad took the picture on Valentine’s Day before you were born. I remember they fought over your name. Dad wanted something stupid like Amber, but mom didn’t like it.”

“She was pretty,” Abby gently touched Carrie’s golden hair.

“You look like her with your golden hair. You’re lucky to look so much like her,” he fingered one of her curls.

She turned her face up to his and smiled. “Thanks, Aiden.”

He wiped a tear off her cheek. “You’re welcome, Abby. The other present I have for you are there,” he opened his palm and showed her the glow-in-the-dark stars. “Our first mom loved the stars and I remember laying on the grass with her looking up at them. So I want you to have some of my stars from my ceiling. That way both of us can look at them.”

Abby flung her arms around his neck. “I love you, Aiden. Thank you.”

“I love you too, Abby,” he returned the hug. “And don’t forget that even if I say dumb stuff like I did tonight. Are you ready to get back to the party?”

Abby nodded and stood up with him. Together they walked out of the closet hand-in-hand, smiled on their faces. Nick and Miranda sat on Abby’s bed whispering to each other but stopped when they emerged from the closet.

“We’re going back downstairs now,” Aiden announced like everything was good now.

“Dad, can we put these up later?” Abby asked dumping the stars on her night table and tacking the picture to her bulletin board.

“S-Sure,” Nick answered, stunned at the mood reversal.

“Is Riley still kicking?” Aiden asked.

“Yes he is. He’s very much awake now,” Miranda smiled as both kids felt the flutter kicks.

“Riley?” Nick furrowed his eyebrows.

“The name Aiden chose. Riley Owen Jonas,” she expanded, smiling at the dopey look on his face.

“Oh. I like it,” he nodded trying to get out of his shock stupor.

“Okay well we’re going back downstairs now. We’ll take Ruby with us to play,” Aiden said then he and Abby ran out of the room and thudded down the stairs, leaving a happy mother and confused father behind.

“Ookay…so what just happened” Nick asked shaking his head.

Miranda laughed and kissed his cheek. “Our kids just fixed their problem. Really, Nick, keep up,” she teased.

“Keep up?” he looked at her mischievously.

She was up and out the door fast for a pregnant woman before he caught her in the hallway and assaulted her lips with his.

“Our room tonight?” he asked breathlessly.

“It’s a date,” she replied, stealing another kiss before they headed downstairs to supervise some more.

Several hours after Ruby and Becka were reluctantly settled in their beds to sleep, all hushed whispers and giggles where quieted in Abby’s room, and video games were turned off in Aiden’s room, Nick and Miranda snuggled in their bed together. Their “date” had gone well and they lay quietly in each other’s arms waiting for their breathing and heartrates to even out. Miranda traced lazy patterns on Nick’s bare chest as she was tucked into his side. He rubbed her belly feeling their son kick at his hand. His favorite part of the pregnancy has always been feeling the little flutters of his unborn child beneath his hand.

“We survived,” he said breaking the silence.

Miranda laughed quietly. “You had doubts?”

“Sweetie, there are 13 kids in this house right now. I’d say we did survive.”

“Well I’m glad, honey. If the boys had killed you in RockBand I’d be very lonely and cold right now.”

He chuckled. “I love your humor. It’s good to know you married me for my body,” he joked back.

She propped herself up on her elbow. “It was a huge deciding factor for me.”

“You’re incorrigible…but I still love you,” he pulled her down to his lips.

“Mmmm…I love you too,” she murmured over his lips, pecking them.

“Thank you.”

“For?” she questioned, kissing to his ear.

“For giving me my reason to live back,” he said simply.

Miranda pulled back, stunned. “What?”

He caressed her flushed cheek. “You gave me my reason to live back. You gave me your love. You showed me I still had two beautiful kids who needed me. You’ve given me two, soon three, more kids to love. I’m the happiness man on earth because of you.”

Tears glistened in her eyes. “Do you want to make me cry again?” she choked out.

“Just telling you how lucky I am to have you. You’re my special gift,” he wiped a tear away with his thumb.

“I’m lucky to have you too. You saved me from my depressing black hole and made me the luckiest woman in the world,” she pecked his lips softly. “I love you, Nick.”

“I love you too, Miranda,” he kissed her holding her to him without crushing Riley.

Nick sighed in content as he cradled her against him listening to her breathing even out as she held onto him. He glanced out their bedroom window at the twinkling stars. It was such a clear night out. Suddenly a shooting star danced across the black sky. Nick watched its arc and felt in complete harmony for the first time in 9 years as he held his wife in his arms with his kids sleeping soundly in their own rooms. The shooting star continued its path heading out of his sight.

He was thrown back to a memory of him and Carrie discussing the stars…

“My grandma used to say that once a person dies they become a star. And their loved ones can find them in the night sky at any time and know that they will find their way home; wherever that may be, physically or emotionally,” Carrie explained with a certain wonder and belief in her voice. “I want to be a star, Nick. I want to guide those I love…I want to guide you…”

…and he knew who that shooting star was. She was looking over her family and guiding them right now to their happiness.

“Thank you, Carrie,” he whispered as Miranda snuggled in closer to him.

Because of Carrie he had all the happiness he ever wanted or needed. She really was looking out for him and Aiden and Abby forever. Smiling, he kissed Miranda’s temple and closed his eyes to drift off to sleep where he knew he would wake up tomorrow next to his wife and raise and love his family until he grew old.