Unitl I Break

Chapter 1

She sat silent on the edge of his bed, the sun was high now; it’d soon be setting again. Earlier tears had silently streamed down her silken cheeks gracing her white suit. But the tears had stopped several hours ago, her eyes unable to make anymore, she sat silently waiting now. Suddenly, as if he felt her presence tiring, he began to stir from his sleep, she could tell by the slow churning of his feet beneath the covers. He rolled over, how bright the sun was he thought to himself, unaware of the day or the hour he turned to role back over and pull the sheets over his head, until he caught a glance of a person sitting at the edge of his bed. His eyes, so tired, so blurry, could barely make out the figure whose back was turned toward him, the figure who seemed to luminance in the light.

"Could it be?" he thought to himself, "No it couldn’t be, it wouldn’t be …she wouldn't but...maybe"

"Seville?" he said confusedly.

"Hello sunshine..." the girl replied somberly.

Yup. He was right; the long curly blonde hair that wound down to the middle of her back was the give away, she looked like an angel in white though, for a moment he had thought he had died in his sleep.

"Ville, what are y..." he began but she interrupted “I was hoping you’d wake up soon, I've been here for a while now..." she trailed off, but he said nothing.

The tears started to trickle once more, appearing out of nowhere it seemed. She began again "Your mother called me… she was worried."

He sat up straighter in his bed leaning back against the headboard, rubbing his throbbing head; he went to reach into his dresser.

"You won’t find anything in there," Seville said remaining still, looking out the window straight backed, she raised her hand and shook a small pill bottle.

He slowly removed his hand from the drawer outraged, pissed, he wanted to hit her, but he didn’t, he didn’t even speak, he simply leaned back against the headboard.
"To be honest I was worried about you too,” she said sniffling.

He began to rise as if to console her, to wrap her tightly in his arms and cease her pain, her sorrow, he didnt knwo why but he knew something was wrong, but as he shifted on the bed to reach her she shouted,

"DON'T,” she said, upset, raising a hand as if to halt him in his tracks, still looking out the window, “Just don’t okay Gee, "

Once more the boy leaned back speechless.

"It's been awhile, I hoped that things would be better when I saw you next...but I had to come, you know Gee, “she said slowly as if leading into something bigger,”...This time gee you were out for three days... THREE DAYS! THRE FUCKING DAYS!"

He could hear the sorrow and frustration growing in her voice; the kind that you hear in the voice of someone who truly cares for you.

"Mikey was amazed you made it through customs, do you even remember Japan at all?" she said already knowing the answer.

Gee had begun to open his mouth to speak but Seville had left no time for him to respond, "no you probably don’t do you.. “ She said in a sad/happy tone, the kind that you use to shrug away the deepest hurt.

"Listen, I..I… love you, you…you…you know that right? YOU KNOW THAT?" the cries slowing her speech she said in between sniffles, finally turning to face him.

"Ville I ..." he managed to stammer out. She was beautiful. Her blue eyes had pierced his soul while her cheeks had grown tear stained and rosy. Her hair fell freely around her face; the most forward stands pulled to the back by a single white ribbon. Pearls graced her long neck and her holey ears (10 holes in all-ear wise).

She looked down pulling away from his swollen eyesight. "You have to make a choice right now" she said" you have to decide if life is still worth living" looking back up, she could tell that her words had both stung and confused him.

"What do mean is life worth living? of course it is everything is going grea…"

"then why are you killing yourself?" she asked genuinely concerned for his well being.

"I’m not killing myself.." he said angrily flipping off his covers, rising from the bed and moving to put on the pants he had left lying on the floor however many days before.

"Gerard its been a while, and we've been away but o can't stand knowing you ended like this.....Gee I don’t want to lose you too..." her eyes following his frustrated motions about the room. He pulled a misfits shirt over his head and turned back to face her.

"You’re not gonna lose me Seville!” He said lowering is body in a sort of whata-gonna-do-now-position then straightening, "I’m okay, okay?"

"But Gee YOU’RE NOT OKAY, OKAY? YOU’RE NOT O FUCKING K! THIS ISNT ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR FUCKING SONG GEE! DOING THIS SHIT,“ she held her hand out once more, this time holding a bag of white powder up in her hand, ‘THIS SHIT, EVERY NIGHT, THIS WILL KILL YOU! THIS IS KILLING YOU!"

“YOU KNOW WHAT VILLE? YOU DID IT TOO OKAY, SO QUIT BEING SUCH A DAMN HYPOCRITE!" he yelled waving his hands about wildly.

"Fuck you Gerard." her tears kept coming but the emotions had changed "I used to do it, used too, remember, you know what? Maybe you don’t remember….maybe you don’t remember holding me in your arms when I went through withdrawal, maybe you were still too fucked up yourself to even know the difference."

He stood, shocked. He wanted so badly to be outraged, but she was right. he didn’t remember, though he didn’t doubt that it had happened. "Oh come off it, everyone was fucked up what more do you want from me?" he said digressing from a voice of outrage to a more sympathetic scarred tone

" I want you to pull your shit together and do something,”

” I am doing something I’m in a band that’s getting more and more..."

"Gee, babe, I … the call came yesterday, Eyeball had to drop you." She said this and immediately felt as though she might vomit, she couldn’t believe all this was happening, she couldn’t believe that this might become another one of those monumental bands that never were because they couldn’t survive the ride. Gerard was feeling this too she could see it in expression of confusion.

"th- they what?" he said knowing exactly what he had heard, what he had felt, it was like being kicked in the stomach, the pain seared throughout his entire body.

"they dropped you, you’re too much of a risk. Gee friends or not it’s the business, you have to know its not personal, its just ... just good business.” She was trying to be sympathetic but it wasn’t coming off as well as she would have hope it to.

“Oh god…” said Gerard slowly sinking to his knees. Seville rose and went to his side, dropping to her knees she sat in front of him and placed her bright pink finger nails on his shoulder, tears still coming down her cheeks, “Gee?”

“Oh god "he said looking slowly up at her, “you’re right, Seville....you’re right, I’m completely fucked up.”