Unitl I Break

Several hours later Seville awoke, it was still dark out; the bus was no longer moving, and glancing at the clock on the bus wall she realized it was time for her to get to work. But she didn’t want to leave Gerard’s side as the mixed aroma of coffee, and cigarettes seemed to draw her in. Dreading having to move him, she was impressed by her own restraint the night before, god she had wanted him so bad. She had wanted to let him explore every square inch of her, while she had wanted to discover new parts of Gerard, parts that she knew would make them both happy, but she wanted himt o knkow hw she felt most of all, and a kiss or touch would never explain the flutter in her heart and the light in her eyes when she was with him.

But she knew it was better this way, very fairy tale she thought as she pulled herself from under his arm trying not to wake him. But he shifted awake anyways, “no don’t,” he mumbled pulling her back into his warm embrace.

“Gee I gotta go,”

“Says who?” he mumbled sleepily

“Says my job title,” she said standing, planting a kiss on his forehead, “I’ll see you later.”

But Gerard went for more and returned her kiss with one on the cheek, then the lips, and her neck, “God gee, I gotta go…”

“I know I know…” he said standing up,

“no, no , Gee don’t get up, go back to sleep,”

“nah, it won’t be the same without you.” He said yawning

Seville was struck, did he really just say that, awe, how cute. She looked deep into his big grizzly bear eyes and hugged him tight,

Gerard and Seville weaseled carefully around the sleeping bodies and off the bus.

“…be seeing you” Seville said, turning to give Gerard a tight squeeze and walking briskly into the cold morning in direction of the stage semis.

As she trod off, Seville stuck her hands in the front of her hoodie and realized instantly that something was missing, her meds. “Oh piss” she thought instantly afraid of what everyone would be saying if they found them on the floor of the bus somewhere, “oh there goes crazy,”

“oh too bad she doesn’t have pills for her fucking rage too,”

“Just like every other person on this tour, fucked up”

and those were the last things she needed to be being said about her, and she certainly didn’t want to scare Gerard off with her issues. So she headed back to the bus and hoped to god she could find them.

Meanwhile Gerard had gone off to medicate himself. He’d had issues for years, it was a miracle he was still here, or so he thought. But the process was wearing it seemed to take more and more for him to be the person he wanted to be. When the pills didn’t pick him up, he knew it was time for a drink. But he as feeling great his morning, he was in love.

It was one thing for him to get with girls, but it was entirely another for him to stop himself from making one like the others, to stop himself from hurting someone else. No today he wouldn’t take any pills no he start the morning off right with some coffee and at least wait until set up before he drank. What he was feeling at present was far better a high then he could ever get from pills.

She crept on the bus quietly hoping to god that Gina didn’t randomly wake up sensing the need to work as well, otherwise shed have a lot of shit to spin. Over Bert and Hannah, around Franks legs, Seville begin digging through blankets she and Gerard had been tangled him moments ago. No luck, to the bunks! And there she found them lying casually on the floor frank and Gina had wrestled on earlier.
For a moment she thought to herself, “do I really need them today?” she was always so careful about taking them, she knew she was supposed to take them everyday, that’s what you had to do for them to work the right way, but she wasn’t big on substances, so she wondered why she felt the need for them. The thought quickly sank away and with a shrug of her shoulders, she popped a few in her mouth and went to work.

The day was hellish ….as always….so were the next several weeks as they rounded the eastern coast. Seville and Gerard were growing closer and closer, virtually inseparable, still not a couple, but always together; the hand holding had progressed to well… more, nothing that would result in 9 months of back pain… but they were happy just spending their nights together, and their days waiting for the free moments in which they would steal away from everyone else and just cant, or make out or whatever, but mostly they talked. They talked about their dreams, their families, everything…

Luckily for Gerard, Dustin had given him the 411 and advised him to not ask Seville about her family, especially when he and mikey invited everyone to their house in jersey for a home cooked meal complements of their mom after the jersey show.

“Oh my boys!” Mrs. Way shouted as she opened the door to greet about twelve very hungry, very tired looking kids.

“Heya mom,” Gerard said pulling his cigarette from his mouth as she pulled him intoa tight squeeze one arm around Gerard the other around mikey smothering them in kisses, “look at you two you look starved come in come in , its soo nice to have a house full of kids again!”

She said ushering them all into the house, “Donna, mikey always looks starved…”

“Don’t give me any lip toro…. I hope you kids are hungry ive been cooking for days, oh and while im thinking of it, Michael there is something you might want to see in the kitchen dear….”

Mikey ran straight to the kitchen but Gerard went ahead and introduced everyone…. “alright ma well I want you to meet everyone, so mom this is everyone….”

“Gerard!” Seville said hitting him in the side, “I’m Seville…” she said extending her hand politely to Donna, “thanks so much for inviting us into our home, I know there’s a lot of us, we really appreciate it.”

“Such manners, its about time Gerard brought some nice kids home,”

Ray interrupted, “don’t get too excited ma, she’s the only nice one,”

“What about me! Claire shouted up at Ray, “I’m a nice girl too!”

“No you’re not…you’re just trouble you are!” he said pulling her into his arms, “Donna this is my girlfriend Claire.” As they smooched lightly

“It really was nice of you to have us all over!” Claire then added

“Oh don’t worry about it darling it was the least I could do, besides how could I let my boys come home to Jersey without meeting any of their little friends.”

Gerard merely rolled his eyes, “mom this is Quinn, Jeph, Bert, Branden, Candace, Dustin, Chris, and Aaron….”

“Well I’d say there are a lot of you, I’ll try and do my bet to remember names, but im forgetful as it is, well come on in kids have a seat. Gerard where is frank and matt? I haven’t seen them in ages.”

“Frank went home his uncles in town so yeah hell be around later , and his girlfriend Gina will be coming with him… and well who knows where Pelisser went”

“hmm, I ll never understand why hes like that but anyways, I bet you’re all exhausted there’s a few spare beds and there’s two showers up stairs and one in the basement if you want ot get cleaned up, lord only knows the next time you’ll get to bathe!”

Immediately Candace and Chris took off up the stairs Dustin trailing, while Quinn and Jeph had taken off, battling, in the direction Donna had pointed to the basement stairs. This left Branden, Aaron, and Bert chilling on the couch, they had already discovered Mikey’s Xbox. Gerard holding Seville’s hand casually watched as the group had dispersed.

“they don’t wait for anything do they…” donna said vehemently.

“not usually, I’m really sorry about that, they’re not….” Seville began

“Oh dear theres no need to apologize for them, I raised two em myself I kknow they’ve minds of their own, right Gee?” Gerard shrugged, “ so what is in the kitchen that’s keeping mikey preoccupied ma?”

“Carmella, that girl has been waiting for you guys for hours…”

“Mikey’s life long girlfriend…” Gerard said in an aside to Seville in response to the confused look on her face.

“Which reminds me Elena’s in there working on the sauce still, she’ll be so happy to see you, I’m going to go get some towels for your bathing friends, do you guys need anything?” she asked the sofa crew, while Gerard pulled Seville into the kitchen, “there’s someone I want you too meet.

In the kitchen, the smell of garlic was overbearing, in the most wondrous sense of the word. Mikey sat at the table atop some girls’ lap.

“Ville this is my girl Carmella!” Mikey shouted eagerly then nuzzled noses with her. Gerard smiled and released Seville’s hand leaving her to laugh at Carmella and Mikey, and sneakily walked over to the elderly woman stirring the hot substance on the stove humming softly.

He covered her eyes, which took her by surprise as he enticed her, “guess who?” she set the stirring spoon down gently and pulled his hands from her eyes,

“Nipote! (Grandson)” and she began smothering him in kisses. smiling he pulled away,

“Nona(Grandma),

there’s someone I want you to meet, “ he said drawing attention to the small girl dressed in ripped jeans and a vintage t-shirt, “Seville, I’d like you to meet my grandmother Elena, the woman I owe everything to…” his grandmother looked up at him, she had the same warm hazel eyes as Gerard, and waved her hand in a way that said “oh stop Gerard”.

Feeling in no way as being presentable to these people Gerard loved so much she did her best to impress, and dusted off a bit of the Italian she had learned in college while studying abroad in Greece, “Ciao è un piacere incontrarla, ho sentito cosí molto del Signore lei. (hello it's a pleasure to meet you, I have heard so much about you.)”

Gerard’s jaw hit the floor, his grandmother’s turned into an excited smile, “Caro Dio, parla italiano, e dunque bene! È molto piacevole per incontrarla come bene il mio caro, li sento prendere la buona cura del mio Gerard. (Dear Lord, she speaks Italian, and so well! It is very nice to meet you as well my dear, I hear you have been taking good care of my Gerard.)Elena said taking Seville into her arms.

“Tento ma non è facile. (I try but it is not easy.)” Seville responded, lightly retreating from Elena’s into Gerard’s arms, who was still shocked that Seville was speaking in Italian to his grandmother.

“No non è mai stato un fare le cose facili! (no no he has never been one to make things easy!)”

they chuckled gaily, “It’s no wonder my boy likes you, you’re beautiful!” Elena said making spinning Seville about and making her blush, “Thank you very much.”

“now both of my grandsons have wonderful women to keep them in line!” and she turned back to the stove as Bert’s taunting called Gerard into the xbox game and Seville offered to help a returning Donna complete the meal., while mikey and Carmella moved upstairs.

Dinner was amazing, while Donna and Elena decided to bestow the family recipe upon Seville the rest of the children were lounging about, some sleeping, some bathing, smoking, gaming, making out, a plethora if you will of activities. Ray and Claire went back to Ray’s to see his parents, Candace, Bert, Matt, Quinn, Jepha and Aaron went tattoo parlor shopping and then to the bar, they’d much prefer to be drinking than eating on their day of rest, and Frank and Gina came over to the Way’s for dinner. Despite the considerably lessened number of guests they still managed to devour dinner. Donna told Seville, Gina, Dustin, and Chris about a million different embarrassing stories of Mikey and Gerard growing up, all of which were hysterical, while Elena told them stories of her past and her expectations for the future.

Next up for the night, they were going out! As Seville and Gina helped clear the table the rest of the crew went and got ready to meet everyone at the bar they’d plopped down at after getting their new tattoos. Apparently, it was a busy place, full of faces that had helped Gerard get the band going, it was where he and Frank first met. Gina and Seville were excited it was the first time they’d actually gone out in ages…two days off in a row it just boggled their minds to think about it. Once they were ready they grabbed their stuff and were on their way to have one wild night.

The bar was loud and the music was great. Here the MCR boys were greeted like royalty, not the kind you bow down to but the kind you would die for. As they hopped out of the car and did the whole how do I look do I have anything in my teeth routine while chris frank and Gerard jumped out of the car they had crammed themselves into.

Gina on Franks arm and Seville and Gerard hand in hand the four of them paraded into the crowded bar with chris following behind as the five of them skipped in ahead a whole line of people waiting at the door to go in. inside the place was just as packed as I had seemed it was hard to get through without bumping into someone or something else; they spotted Ray and Claire out on the dance floor grinding into each other while making that sickening I love you stare face… not to far off from them were the rest of the children drinkin away at the bar.

“I bet you a hundred dollars I’d kick your ass in an arm wrestling match!” Candace was shouting loudly at some big bald biker guy sitting beside her.

“your fucking drunk chick,” the guy said to Candace after having laughed at her with his buddies.

“sorry about her,” Dustin slurred drunkenly pulling her out of the guys face.

“watch this,” Matt said to Bert who was shit faced already, “were not sorry for her were sorry for YOU! Because she’s drunk and small and could still probably kick your ass in match!”

the bald guy instantly grabbed his beer bottle and slammed it against the bar, then pointed the broken edges at Matt, “What did you say to me boy?”

“CHICKEN!!!” Candace yelled in a fit of laughter, “are we gonna arm wrestle or what?”

The man turned his enraged gaze to Candace and dropped the bottle and began rolling up his sleeve, then slapped his elbow down on the table. Candace hollered with giddy excitement. Having finally gotten over to the group Seville and Gina rushed over to Candace and tried to pull her away “Candace don’t be stupid…” they kept saying to her until she spit on Seville and told her to “go the fuck away im gonna own this guy and make a hundred bucks babe!”; at which point ville and Gina stepped away to let the mayhem unfold.

Dustin sat watching idly as he sipped another beer and Gerard went to get drinks, “This is better than a comic book convention!” he was saying excitedly. Candace and the man now were prepped and ready to go several onlookers had gathered to see the event. “no cheating, keep your elbows on the table, no use of another hand, no biting, no crying, on three….one two three!” and the match was off.

at first it seemed instant defeat for Candace but within seconds see began fighting back inches from the table top. Soon it was even again the man looked disgusted Candace looked silly with her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth in concentration while Gerard popped peanuts and popcorn into his mouth like he was at the movies. Candace gained on him for a second then lost a little ground. But with one wift move Candace suddenly slammed the guys arm to the table the crowd went wild and the dude got pissed .

“yay I win I win I win, you lose you lose you lose!” Candace was chanting as she stuck her hand out to receive payment. Pretty sure that the firey look in the guys eye meant he was going to kill her Jeph ran and grabbed her up from the table kicking and screaming, but the guy stopped him, “dude your one crazy bitch…” he said pointing his finger at Candace, “ can I buy you a drink? Hell! I’ll buy you all drinks for watching after crazy here!” and after that the booze didn’t stop.

The next morning was hazy Seville found herself slowing batting her eyes to greet the sun that peered through a small window ina dankly lit room. Slowly waking up she was able to take in a bit more of her surroundings and found herself lying in bed with Gerard she rolled over and smiled, until she realized she was naked and could not recollect anything that happened that night. But the grin on Gerard’s face told her he must have had a good time. The last thing she remembered tough was making out with Gerard, not happy about the situation she had found herself in she got up and went directly to gerards bathroom.

“I can’t believe I did this I cant believe it I cant I cant I cant how could I,” she said to herself as she splashed water onto her face in front of the bathroom mirror. Slightly frantic yet calm she yanked open the bathroom cabinet door with to find… a plethora of prescriptions, “holy sit.”

She said as she rummaged through them looking desperately for something to dull the booze and late night adventures. Low and behold that wonderful prescription pill “hmm…same prescription even…weird…” she popped the top, not even remotely troubled by her discovery and not having a clue as to where hers might be strewn, assuming they were still in her purse, but she had also assumed she would wake with clothing on, maybe shed be right about at least one of them.

she turned the shower on and hopped in, letting the war water was away the dirt and grim of whatever she may have encountered during the night hours.

Gerard was in the middle of a wonderful dream about …blood flavored poptarts mass produced for vampires…. When he heard the shower turn on. Keeping his eyes closed he felt around the bed. Nope no one else there … but his hand did not return to its spot under his head until after it got tangled in … a bra?

“what the fuck ?..oooo shit” he yelled out loud luckily muffled by his pillow. Instantly he tried to remember what had happened? what did he do last night? better question yet who was in his shower and whose bra was that ?