Unitl I Break

Soooo maybe it was a porno….but damn it was good, Seville could barely put it down! And on occasion she would find Gerard reading over her shoulder breathing heavily on her neck.
Mikey too was reading it… Seville caught him lifting it from the van one night when they had actually gotten hotel rooms…. Seville and Gerard had plans that in no way shape or form involved reading of any sort…. They were more interested in DOing the things Willow had written about.
Life on the road though, was tough… rare were the moments when any of them had the energy to even consider such things….
Claire and Ray were constantly off on their own… they were the ideal love birds… Ray was so romantic and Claire lapped it up. It was super adorable when they got to Paris and Ray wanted to, yes wanted to, take Claire shopping and have her check out some wedding gowns. In that respect Claire was old fashioned, she wanted a small wedding with a beautifully classic gown. They actually found one she adored… well an idea of one Ray had contacted a designer and they were having it done up and sent home. Ah Paris…
Mikey was spending his time in the van silently mopping… he had officially killed the Carmella thing and was anxious to get back an make things happen with Willow.
“Mikes? Are you crying?” Seville asked him one day when she heard him sniffling beside her, all the others were asleep, expect for Bob who was driving.
“No” he mumbled with his head down averting any eye contact
“Mikey….” She said in an encouraging fashion
“well…”
“Mikey tell me whats wrong or I’ll kick your ass and make your face look like mine…”
“You’re mean.”
She simply smiled and shrugged her shoulders, she hadn’t gotten anywhere in the world by being nice and coy like a girl is ‘supposed’ to be, “ You’re just mad because you know I could.” And with that she slugged him playfully in the side making him laugh and look up
“Gerard would stop you!” Mikey said hopefully, “I’m his brother!”
“Oh mikey it worse than I thought… honey you’re delusional too….” Sympathy in her voice, “you may be his brother but I can do things you can’t”
“Not fair.”
“Besides, look at him….” Gerard was presently slouched against the window beside Seville drooling heavily whispering to himself, he had a tendency to do that while he was sleeping, “he’s really not of much use to you in terms of defense… you’d probably have better luck using Frank.”
“But he’s so … tiny.”
“who are you calling tiny string bean? He may be small but he’s one scrappy licker, plus I think he’s a bit more intimidating than the dream whisperer over here.” She said cocking her head in Gerard’s general direction. “so are you gonna tell me what’s wrong or am I gonna have to give you a black eye?”
“Well, I suppose I can tell you ... just don’t tell anyone okay?”
“boy scout’s honor.”
“ville, you weren’t a boy scout. You aren’t a boy!” Mikey said in disbelief.
“Now Mikey do you honestly think I let something like gender stand in my way…. I was the best boy scout ever, I made my mom sign me up for a troop at a different school and I just wore hats… a lot.”
“You have issues.” Mikey said leaning into Seville playfully with his shoulder.
At this Seville shuddered her body was still covered with bruises from the Great Plane Mauling: Fall 04 as they had since referred to it, “owey,” she mock cried, “Mikey you dick.”
“What?”
“That hurts like a bitch, I’m still covered in bruises from three weeks ago.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously,” she said revealing her midriff to show him.
“Seville, maybe you’re just changing colors?”
Ville rolled her eyes with annoyance at Mikey.
“What?!? Look at what happened to Michael Jackson! It could happen!”
Seville just shook it off, Mikey was crazy: he had just confirmed it.
“so anyways… what’s got you all mopey and shit Mikey?”
“oh yeah, that…well I just I guess I'm just lonely you know?”
“I think so but lay it on the table for me anyways…”
“well you guys all have someone to be with, don’t get me wrong you guys never leave me out but, you know, its just a little different.” Mikey did look truly upset, it was endearing, Seville thought.
“And Bob is by himself, but really he and Jack are always working on something… and I don’t know… I just feel like …”
Seville cut him off, she too knew this feeling all too well, “Like your all alone?”
“yeah, and I know its sill y and stuff but I just feel like I'm not important.”
“you know that’s not true.” Ville said sternly.
“yeah I know I just think its because I don’t have someone here with me, ya know?”
“I do, more than you know, I’ve been there.” She said snuggling gently up against Mikey.
Perhaps he was the perceptive one of the group, “Gerard huh?”
She looked over at him, still whispering and drooling away, “yeah…. But I suppose it all works out in the end. I mean at least this way, even if things don’t work out, we’ll never wonder what it could have been.”
“that’s deep Seville.”
“I know right? Who knew I had a heart?” she proudly asked, “don’t answer that.” She interjected as Mikey began to respond. “so I'm guessing this was brought on by you and Carmella calling it quits huh?”
“am I that transparent?” Mikey asked in a plastic sort of way.
“yes.” Seville responded matter of factly.
“Damn”
“it happens. And I really am sorry about how shady Mella got; that really surprised me…”
“yeah … me too, but its for the best right?”
“Right. But let me ask you then, what about you and Willow?” Without looking Seville knew Mikey was blushing feverishly

“I just don’t know where she stands ya know?”
Obviously a rhetorical question, so Ville let him continue.
“God I look at her, I and see… I dunno, I see so much more… its like looking at someone and seeing everything you ever wanted or felt in their eyes…”
Seville looked over at her sleeping beauty, “I definitely know what you mean…”
“Gerard?”
“yeah,”
“see and even that almost never was,”
“but it is, and”
“and what if it doesn’t work out.”
“then it doesn’t work pout and at least we wont walk around wondering what could have been….but I like to think that it wont end…”
“yeah, I don’t think it will either, he is so infatuated its not even funny… but I’m afraid to take that chance with her, I’m just so afraid Ill mess it up … that I’ll mess all of this up.”
“Mikey you’ve got nothing to lose, but yourself…you gotta do what you felt you need to do otherwise you’ll never enjoy al the wonderful things that happen.”
“yeah but especially Willow, ya know? I mean she’s soo busy, and I'm busy, and she s a freaking genius, and me well … not so much, but were both workaholics with zero free time…”
Seville interjected, “if you think you have no free time now just wait…” but Mikey hardly noticed what Seville had said.
“and she’s just so .. so full of amazingness; Wait, what did you say?”
“Oh never mind don’t worry about, you’ll find out soon enough.”
“Seville, tell me….” Mikey said with a whine.
“Nope.”
“You know you’re really in no position to argue, you’ve got bruises that make it hurt for you to move and I know how ticklish you are and am not afraid to use these tools against you.” Mikey said displaying his hands in a tickling position.
“NEVER!” she cried out in an attempt to lurk away from Mikey but he held her down…. For someone so scrawny he sure had a tight grip.
Trapped, Seville caved…. “fine, fine ill tell you but you have to swear not to tell anyone.” She said sternly.
“Scouts’ honor.”
“Jackass”
“I learned from you!”
“I knew there was a reason you’d gotten so good at it lately,” she said laughing, “okay so you know how things have been going supremely well what with the sold out shows and the CD sales here…”
“Yeah?”
“well take that, and imagine it multiplied a bagillion times over… but at home.”
“ARE YOU SER-“
Seville had to smother his excited screaming as he released a pastiche of exuberant phrases.
Suddenly realizing his own yelling he brought his voice quickly down to a whisper, “so no free time then when we get back huh?”
“I’m sorry Mikey, but no, no more free time.”
The sad expression quickly spread back over his face.
“But you get a tour bus….”
That seemed to do the trick.