Unitl I Break
Chapter 7: the history of us is in the past
Chapter 7
(Back to the Future, well the present past…the beginning!)
last bit of chapter 1 for a reminder
"they dropped you, you’re too much of a risk. Gee friends or not it’s the business, you have to know its not personal, its just ... just good business.” She was trying to be sympathetic but it wasn’t coming off as well as she would have hope it to. “Oh god…” said Gerard slowly sinking to his knees. Seville rose and went to his side, dropping to her knees she sat in front of him and placed her bright pink finger nails on his shoulder, tears still coming done her cheeks, “Gee?” “Oh god he said looking slowly up at her, “you’re right, you’re right, I’m fucked up.”
She took him in her arms and, cradling his kneeled body, rocked him soothingly letting both his tears, and makeup run onto her shoulder. She was there for him.
“It’s just…I …I … I ..” he stammered through weak sobs.
“Shh, Gee, it’s...” but she was cut off
“I just don’t know how to stop.” He said lifting his head from her shoulder, pulling away from her warm embrace,
“I’m not you Ville! I never have been, I’m not strong, I’m not Smart! I’m not successful or talented…”
“But you are Gee,” she said grasping his shoulders with her arms stretched out shaking him lightly, “You ARE all of those things and so much more, but that shit just makes..”
“it makes the pain of life subside!”
“But it doesn’t Gee It doesn’t, it just kills you even more slowly, but on both the inside and the out! You’re so much better than this….I know you are.”
“How would you know? You don’t really care. I haven’t even seen or heard from you in six months!” Gerard said angrily raising his head glaring into her eyes.
She released his shoulders and rose to her feet, she walked back towards the window, and leant against the wall, “I had to get myself straightened out Gee.” She said loftily still maintaining her gaze out the window.
“ I was a bigger wreck than even you, know….so many times when we were all out, I just wanted to die to end it there…Hell I even tried, didn’t know that did you?” she said to Gerard who had risen from the ground and stood next to the window, on the side opposite Seville.”
“Yeah well I did, I tried to OD, vodka, Xanax, and shitload of blow…”
Gerard was speechless, he had no idea, “Was I really so fucked up I didn’t notice”
She chuckled softly, “Probably, but then again, you said it, we all were…I decided then and there, when surprisingly enough I woke up, that maybe there was something more to life….but listen Gee I didn’t come here to guilt trip you, I came here to help you help yourself…”
“Ville I don’t know that I can…”
“Gee, do you love what your doing? I mean the band? You love that don’t you?”
“Well yeah but,”
“Do you love you’re family?”
“Yeah but,”
“Mikey?”
“Yes, but Ville…”
“Me?”
Gerard said nothing, he was afraid to say no, but petrified to say yes.
“You don’t have to answer that,” Seville said through her eyes downcast to the floor. “What I meant was, I’m here for you, and Gee if you want this, I’ll help you make it happen… but it’s gonna be hard, and there will be days that you’ll feel more like dying than you ever have…but I’ll be here for you, I will stay by your side until you are 100% through the woods.” Seville now joined Gerard on his bedside.
“Ville, I just don’t know that I …that I can…. GOD! Why am I so FUCKING PATHETIC!”
Resting a hand on his knee, “You’re not sugar, you never were…”
Several minutes passed as he two sat like that sustained in silence.
“Ville?” Gerard uttered at almost the same decibel of a whisper.
“Yeah babe?”
“Why are you doing this? Why are you here?are you so good?” Gee asked sincerely once again turning his gaze into her deep bright blue eyes.
“It’s all for you…I couldn’t live with myself if I lost you…” She said rising, reaching down and gabbing her handbag from the floor. She went to leave his bedroom. There was nothing more she could do.
“Ville?” said Gerard one last time just before Seville left.
She turned tear stained, heart broken, and weary, to face him…for what she thought may be the last time.
Standing up, “I need help; no…I .... I think... I need your help Seville.” Gerard said vehemently. Looking into her eyes, he instantaneously felt the weight of the world lift from his shoulders; he had known all along that this was what he needed most.
Seville couldn’t have been more pleased, finally he could see she thought to herself. It was the same for her when she realized she needed to stop. So she merely looked at him softly, benevolently, smiled, one side of her mouth pulling the smile across her face, “Well get your ass in the shower and I’ll see you downstairs.”
With that she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. She stopped at the stairs and smiled once more, dried her eyes, and as cliché as it was, she knew that she had just saved her best friend from his worst enemy; himself.
(Back to the Future, well the present past…the beginning!)
last bit of chapter 1 for a reminder
"they dropped you, you’re too much of a risk. Gee friends or not it’s the business, you have to know its not personal, its just ... just good business.” She was trying to be sympathetic but it wasn’t coming off as well as she would have hope it to. “Oh god…” said Gerard slowly sinking to his knees. Seville rose and went to his side, dropping to her knees she sat in front of him and placed her bright pink finger nails on his shoulder, tears still coming done her cheeks, “Gee?” “Oh god he said looking slowly up at her, “you’re right, you’re right, I’m fucked up.”
She took him in her arms and, cradling his kneeled body, rocked him soothingly letting both his tears, and makeup run onto her shoulder. She was there for him.
“It’s just…I …I … I ..” he stammered through weak sobs.
“Shh, Gee, it’s...” but she was cut off
“I just don’t know how to stop.” He said lifting his head from her shoulder, pulling away from her warm embrace,
“I’m not you Ville! I never have been, I’m not strong, I’m not Smart! I’m not successful or talented…”
“But you are Gee,” she said grasping his shoulders with her arms stretched out shaking him lightly, “You ARE all of those things and so much more, but that shit just makes..”
“it makes the pain of life subside!”
“But it doesn’t Gee It doesn’t, it just kills you even more slowly, but on both the inside and the out! You’re so much better than this….I know you are.”
“How would you know? You don’t really care. I haven’t even seen or heard from you in six months!” Gerard said angrily raising his head glaring into her eyes.
She released his shoulders and rose to her feet, she walked back towards the window, and leant against the wall, “I had to get myself straightened out Gee.” She said loftily still maintaining her gaze out the window.
“ I was a bigger wreck than even you, know….so many times when we were all out, I just wanted to die to end it there…Hell I even tried, didn’t know that did you?” she said to Gerard who had risen from the ground and stood next to the window, on the side opposite Seville.”
“Yeah well I did, I tried to OD, vodka, Xanax, and shitload of blow…”
Gerard was speechless, he had no idea, “Was I really so fucked up I didn’t notice”
She chuckled softly, “Probably, but then again, you said it, we all were…I decided then and there, when surprisingly enough I woke up, that maybe there was something more to life….but listen Gee I didn’t come here to guilt trip you, I came here to help you help yourself…”
“Ville I don’t know that I can…”
“Gee, do you love what your doing? I mean the band? You love that don’t you?”
“Well yeah but,”
“Do you love you’re family?”
“Yeah but,”
“Mikey?”
“Yes, but Ville…”
“Me?”
Gerard said nothing, he was afraid to say no, but petrified to say yes.
“You don’t have to answer that,” Seville said through her eyes downcast to the floor. “What I meant was, I’m here for you, and Gee if you want this, I’ll help you make it happen… but it’s gonna be hard, and there will be days that you’ll feel more like dying than you ever have…but I’ll be here for you, I will stay by your side until you are 100% through the woods.” Seville now joined Gerard on his bedside.
“Ville, I just don’t know that I …that I can…. GOD! Why am I so FUCKING PATHETIC!”
Resting a hand on his knee, “You’re not sugar, you never were…”
Several minutes passed as he two sat like that sustained in silence.
“Ville?” Gerard uttered at almost the same decibel of a whisper.
“Yeah babe?”
“Why are you doing this? Why are you here?are you so good?” Gee asked sincerely once again turning his gaze into her deep bright blue eyes.
“It’s all for you…I couldn’t live with myself if I lost you…” She said rising, reaching down and gabbing her handbag from the floor. She went to leave his bedroom. There was nothing more she could do.
“Ville?” said Gerard one last time just before Seville left.
She turned tear stained, heart broken, and weary, to face him…for what she thought may be the last time.
Standing up, “I need help; no…I .... I think... I need your help Seville.” Gerard said vehemently. Looking into her eyes, he instantaneously felt the weight of the world lift from his shoulders; he had known all along that this was what he needed most.
Seville couldn’t have been more pleased, finally he could see she thought to herself. It was the same for her when she realized she needed to stop. So she merely looked at him softly, benevolently, smiled, one side of her mouth pulling the smile across her face, “Well get your ass in the shower and I’ll see you downstairs.”
With that she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. She stopped at the stairs and smiled once more, dried her eyes, and as cliché as it was, she knew that she had just saved her best friend from his worst enemy; himself.