Dead!

I felt someone shaking me awake. I groaned and slapped their hand away, whoever it was.

"Clarissa." I heard someone whisper.

"Mmm, go away." I moaned.

"Please, wake up. It's me, Ryan." My eyes shot open and there Ryan was, leaning over me. What did Brendon tell him!?

"What do you want Ryan? Unless this is a life-threatening situation, I would like to sleep." I said, trying to hide the fact that I was more than happy that he was leaning over me and trying to wake me up. I looked up at him. His hair hung over his eyes and he was smiling.

"I want to tell you something." He said.

"And what is just so important that you had to wake me up for?" I asked.

"This." He placed his lips on mine and flicked his tongue out and pushed it passed my lips. It wasn't long before I felt a sharp pain in my side, the first place where I was stabbed. The pain got worse and worse and I eventually pushed Ryan off. I gripped my side, then I felt a warm sticky sensation pouring from my arms.

"Clarissa!" Ryan yelled. He lifted me up and glanced down at all my wounds. I realized it. I have to relive my death to be alive again.

He took me out of the bunk and set my on the ground and grabbed a towel. Everyone ran into the room, Gerard and Brendon first.

"Ryan what did you do!?" Brendon screamed. My head started to race with all the yelling.

"I didn't do anything!" He protested, looking down at me. I looked up at him and saw the tears in his eyes. I had gotten blood all over his shirt and more was pouring out from all the scars.

"I think she's dying again." Gerard said softly. Ryan started to sob and leaned down to hug me.

"Please don't go. Clarissa, please stay with me. Don't go." He whispered. I looked down at my arms and realized I was fading away. I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder-blades. My wings were falling off feather by feather.

~~~

Ugh, where am I?

I sat up and looked around me. I was in a large apartment. I got up from the bed and walked to the mirror. I gasped. I was older. I was around nineteen. I looked down at my arms and saw my scars, all stitched up. I put my finger to one and a flash of images invaded my mind.

I was Clarissa Newark and I was nineteen years old and a fashion assistant and a tour manager for The Academy Is...

I walked around the apartment and noticed I lived in Chicago. I yawned and noticed a red flashing light on the answering machine. I walked over and pressed it.

"Hey Clarie, it's Bill. Just called to make sure you're up because we leave for tour in two hours. We're meeting Cobra Starship at Starbuck's and the bus will pick us up there. Bring all your stuff and everything you need. See you soon, Babe. Bye."

"Shit!" I ran into the bedroom and saw bags already packed. I checked everything and grabbed the car keys on the table and ran out the door. I parked my car and walked into the Starbuck's. It wasn't long before Sisky noticed me and ran towards me.

"Clarissa! I haven't seen you in forever!" He pulled me in a hug and even lifted me up. I fake smiled and hugged back and everyone else.

I found out I wasn't in the future. This was just the new me.

We walked into the huge bus and picked our bunks, seeing as for some reason I stay on the Academy Is... bus.

We sat around the lounge and just laughed, for a while I didn't even think about Ryan, until Bill brought him up.

"By the way, Pete's tour is going to join our tour." He smiled.

"Who's on Pete's tour?" Sisky asked.

"FOB, MCR, and Panic." He answered. My heart dropped.

"How's Ryan doing?" Butcher asked.

"I talked to Spencer, they're still trying to get him to quit smoking. He said that the real problem is the Heroine and Weed." Bill said sadly.

"Poor guy. Brendon says he hates his new girlfriend."

"Wait, Ryan hates hir girlfriend, or Brendon hates Ryan's girlfriend?"

"Brendon hates Ryan's girlfriend. Apparently he was fine for a while without the drugs, then he met her and she got him back into it."

"What a bitch. Didn't he say he like loves her and is thinking of marrying her?"

"Hopefully he sees who she really is and leaves her. I know I won't go to the wedding."

I became more and more sad as this new information was sent to me like a missle.

The bus stopped and we all got out. I saw another bus parked and a three bands got out. I smiled when I saw Ryan walk out with his sunglasses on, looking conceited as usual. My smile faded when I saw him link hands with a girl. She was about as skinny as me but wearing a pair of white bermuda shorts and expensive flip-flops. Her hair looked bleached one too meany times and you could tell she had work done on her face.

I followed Bill into the mini-mart and saw that everything that she was wearing was designer brand and over three hundred dollars.

"Ryan!" She whined, "I want a coffee." She pouted.

"Get whatever you want, Baby. You know I'll pay for it." She kissed his cheek and ran off to get whatever she wanted.

Jesus, help me now. I thought to myself. Bill slung an arm around me and walked up to him.

"Hey Ry!" He greeted.

"Hey Bill, meet my girlfriend Brandi." He smiled.

"Hi, I'm Bill. Meet one of my best friends, Clarissa." He introduced me.

"Hi." I greeted.

"Finally! Another girl on tour!" She said a bit too obnoxiously. I smiled and she turned around and kept her hands all over Ryan.

I turned around and saw Gerard. I walked up to him.

"Hi, I'm Clarissa." I greeted.

"Hey! You must be the tour manager! I'm Gerard. Clarissa. That sounds familiar." He said. I smiled.

"Yeah. Although, it's not a very common name." I noted, hopefully he would remember.

"You're right. Maybe I'll remember soon." He smiled. He waved a goodbye and walked off back to his bus.

I sighed and went back to my own bus. I layed in my bunk when a certain familiar headache started to build up in the back of my head. I sat up, confused, and walked out the bus. I saw Brendon looked back and forth between thes streets, trying to get to the otherside where the Starbuck's was.

I saw him place his foot on the pavement and the headache was blaring. I looked to the left and saw a big-rig that Brendon hadn't noticed coming full speed.

I started a sprint towards the road. Brendon was in the middle of the road now.

"BRENDON!" I screamed. He turned around and saw the truck but was too shocked to move. I ran towards him and pushed him out of the way. We landed with a thud with me next to him with my arm slung over his stomach. I started to cough from the powerful landing. Everyone was rushing towards us. I groaned and held my arm knowing it was bruised.

"What happened?" Pete asked.

"I saw the truck then him standing in the middle of the road." I managed to choke out. Brendon sat up and looked down at himself checking for damages.

"Are you okay?" He asked me.

"Yup, just dandy." I said standing up and brushing my jeans off.

"You do know she just saved your life, right?" Pete asked. Brendon looked to me and jumped on me in a hug.

"THANK YOU!" He screamed. I laughed and hugged back.

"Any time." I said patting his back. After all the chaos we head for the first city. The whole three hours there I only thought of Ryan and his drug addiction. We were half-way there when I saw Brendon walk in.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked. He laughed.

"Here to talk to you...about something serious." He said. He sat down next to me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Why is it that I know who you are and Ryan can't remember he loves you?"

I stared at him wide eyed.

"You remember?" I whispered. He nodded.

"I'm the only one. You know, Ryan still likes you."

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"Because when I was talking to him for the rare minutes when Brandi leaves he mentioned that you were beautiful." He smiled.

"But apparently he wants to marry Brandi." I mumbled.

"Hey, don't worry. They break up more than fans ambushing us in public." I laughed.

"So?"

"The next time they break up, help him out. Whenever they break up he always gets all haywire and nearly over doses. It's scary actually. Just do what you did last time. Which reminds me, how did you kno-"

"I still get the headaches." I cut him off.

"I see. Can you still read minds?" He asked. I put a hand on his back and his thoughts were racing into my mind.

"You think about cookies?" I asked. He laughed and hugged me.

After Brendon left I fell asleep, hoping that Ryan wasn't doing any drugs at the moment.