Have Kids, Then We'll Talk

My own brown eyes stared contently back at me, examining me up and down, and if it weren’t for the endless boredom which already suffocated my mind- I could of sworn the mirror was taunting me. Or maybe it was just because tonight’s reflection caused more thoughts to arouse in my mind after the newest allegations against my weight issues. The name they referred to me as was burnt clearly into my brain.

Madie, the “Anorexic” Way.

I had hated it from the day Cassie pointed to a computer screen screaming; “Oh my god Mads!” Her arms flailing in several different directions all at once, all because people were never willing to accept that both my parents had cursed me with the gene pool of a stick figure. Now I was here, staring into the same mirror that I had stared at for the past five years, still wishing I could have a little more curves like Charlie, or perhaps a slightly larger bust which Cassie’s mother had gracefully blessed her with.

I tore my eyes away from the stick thin girl clad so effortlessly in black jeans and an old shirt she had stolen from her mother. Sighing as I retreated across the messy bedroom to lay on the soft bed for a further twenty minutes of a session staring at the ceiling and allowing my brain to fill further with unwanted thoughts about life in general as the rest of me lay exhausted from boredom and wanting to get out.

This is not an unfamiliar routine of mine, not at all. It was what I always do as I wait impatiently for the hours to pass before I could escape my prison after my father had delivered to me with another reason as to why I should not go out at night. Tonight, this reason was; “You have homework.” Not the most brilliant excuse, but enough to cover up the fact he didn’t want to find me dead the next morning.

“Madie, you need to do something.” My mind began to trail off into newer thoughts, this time thinking of what I could do to put this dull session of staring at the ceiling to an abrupt end and stop worrying about my diwndling weight. I had called Dan earlier to see if he could sneak me out of this house -he’s always been good at that- but he was busy entertaining my fuckhead of a cousin Aiden, also Dan’s best friend who had issues with us being friends, let alone hanging out together.

I closed my eyes for a brief second, my brain quickly deciding to switch to sneak out mode and begin plotting an escape route for tonight. As far as I knew, someone would be more than willing to hang out. But now, I had to focus on sneaking out, I had two choices;

Creeping through the house and escaping quietly out the front door as my parents enjoyed their nightly television programs.

Or…

The more dangerous option of crawling out of my bedroom window and then, taking a risky walk along the ledge outside then down the old tree situated on the sidewalk outside of our apartment building. Luckily, we weren’t high up and at the same height as the tree.

Pulling my body off the bed and over to the wardrobe to pull on a more suitable shirt, the options ran through my head. Carefully considering the pro’s and con’s of each before walking back and grabbing the keys and sidekick from the bedside table and wandering over to the bedroom door; option two was tonight's escape route.

After turning the bronze handle slowly to check the dark hallways for any sign of my parents, I slipped out of the bedroom and into chill of the hall. My feet barely grazing its white tiled surface in desperation not to disturb my parents as I crept past them.

A loud beep echoed into the silence from the sidekick clutched in my sweaty palm as I hurried towards the door. My heart nervously skipping a beat as I flipped the machine open and read the screen.

Hey Mads, what's up?

Cursing Jared -my younger cousin and brother of Aiden- for his message and the possibility of disturbing my over-protective father, I ignored it and quickened my pace, hurrying down towards the door and praying he didn’t hear the noise.

I could taste freedom.

“Madelyn Elizabeth Olivia Way!” Fuck. Freedom was now out of the question.

“Yeah Dad?” I innocently turned to see him standing, faced towards me with his slender hands placed firmly on his hips. His voice trembling in the mundane glow of the television screen.

“What are you doing?”

“Uh…” My brain was frantically working to find an excuse. “I was thirsty.”

“So you needed to take your keys with you to the kitchen?” he asked raising his eyebrows in disbelief and issuing towards the keys hanging from fingers.

“Well-“

“-You’re just like your mother,” he sighed, cutting me off. Exactly, now please let me go out and marry some rock star like her.

“What do you mean?”

“I know what you were doing, and I’ve told you before-” Here we go again, his almost daily lecture about the dangers of going out on the Manhattan streets at night. “- Something could easily happen to you out there on your own…”

I’m not exactly sure what he said next, because I had zoned out. Completely blocking his voice from my mind as the wall behind him took my attention, it’s cream colored surface much more interesting then my father’s lecture.

“Stop sneaking out! I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you!” I chorused in unison with his voice as the lecture drew to a close and my attention was brought back onto his stress ridden face. He was trying to pull the guilt treatment on me, again.

He paused to glare at me, his hazel eyes drilling into every aspect of my soul. Examining me and holding the silence so it would get to me. I knew he was trying to think of what to say next.

“God Dad!” I finally gave up under the pressure, knowing he wanted me to walk back up the hall and to my bedroom. “Get over it!”

Fuck. I blew it now. The corner of his mouth began to twitch in frustration as my body automatically turned to shuffle back up the hall, my feet loudly echoing against the tiled floor as I went.

“Don’t start this again Madie, your Mother feels the same way!”

“Don’t bring me into this.” My mothers voice, Alicia, sounded from where she sat on the couch behind him. Not wanting to get involved in our routine arguments, but at the same time she was most likely curiously wondering what I was up to now.

I ignored him, not wanting to continue the discussion or have it get any worse.

“Madie, you’re grounded,” his fusturated voice called after me as my room drew near. What’s new? I’m always grounded. “Go to your room!”

“Already there!” My own voice screamed back, slamming the wooden door with anger behind me.

I heard my mother sigh and my father complain as they settled again, cursing myself for choosing to sneak out the door.

Give it fifteen minutes, and I’ll use the window.