I Might Be Dumb But I'm Not Stupid Enough To Stay With You

I slowly stared at the television screen. I didn't really follow, I was more staring blankly in front of me. The colours on it was dancing in front of mye eyes, me hardly noticing. Not really noticing anything. Not hearing anything. It was a good feeling. Like I was falling asleep..

Until my mobile started to ring. I knew who it was.

Him.

I picked it up, to take a look at the screen. It said his name. What did he want now? I decided not to accept the call, as every other time he called. It was better that way, at least on my part. I hardly spoke to him. I didn't want to. Everyone was going on about how great it was, that I had finally found my Dad. Sure it was. Was it really? He wasn't the father I wanted. He wasn't the person I wanted him to be.

It stopped ringing.

I sighed and rolled over, which caused me falling on the floor.

"Joey," I heard Antonia's tiny voice outside my door.

"Joey have you seen my eyeliner?"

I looked to my desk, where her eyeliner happened to be. She was using make up now, my little sister. But that didn't help her much, my eyeliner had disappeared and I didn't care to waste money on buying a new one. So I took hers. Stole it more like. But that was her problem, not mine.

"No," I replied, still lying on the floor. I heard her sigh. She knew I had taken it.

"Mum says Billie's on the phone," she said, without mentioning the eyeliner again.

"Well, tell her Joey says he doesn't care," I mumbled back. I got up, stumbling on my feet before I was correctly standing. I hadn't slept all night. I had hardly slept lately. He was always calling in the middle of the night.

Always.

I grabbed a pair of adidas pants, before leaving my room. Antonia, who was outside my door, was fully dressed. I figured Michael was still asleep.

"Can I borrow your eyeliner then?" she sarcastically asked. I blew her a smile, and mumbled a little 'no' before disappearing into the bathroom. I got fully dressed, and sat down beside the sink. Downstairs I could her Mum talking to Dad on the phone. Wondering what she was up to, I got up again, as Michael was about to kick in the door. Passing him, I realised it wouldn't be long before he was just as tall as me. May be even taller.

He mumbled something I didn't hear, then locked the bathroom door. That wasn't like him. He'd never locked it before now.

I ran down the stairs to find Mum staring at me. She said bye to Dad, and sat down on the couch. She stopped me, as I was about to walk to the kitchen. I sighed, and turned around facing her.

"What is it?" I heard myself say.

"You're going to him for Christmas holidays," she said quietly. I couldn't believe I was hearing this. I shook my head.

"No. No way."

"Yes. It's already decided. I am ordering your plane tickets today. He needs to be with you."

"Well I don't need to be with him!" I yelled.

"Yes, you do!" she yelled back.

"Well, that is your decision, is it? This is mine. I'm not going, and that's final," I whispered and left the room. She followed me out to the hall, where I was busy tiening my shoes. She crossed her arms, and looked at me.

"You have to eat something sweetie," she calmly said.

"No I don't, 'honey,'" I replied.

"You are not going out like that," she spoke again. I looked at her.

"Yes, I am," I replied looking at her, before I turned around, shut the door and left.

*

".. And as you all now, it is only two weeks until Christmas.." the teacher said, me not paying attention. Being at school was the weirdest thing, after the secret about my father got out. Nobody spoke against me anymore. It was like they were scared of me. I didn't like it. I liked debates. Now no one could give me a proper one.

I'd never liked Scotland. But now, all I wanted was to stay up here. Why didn't Mum let me see Grandma this holiday? It's not as if she ever did.

But thinking again.. This vacation might just turn out interesting.