New Beginnings

**Back to Shylars point of view**

After my little breakdown I went with the police officer to go and pick Tora and James up from school. I couldn’t get what he said out of my head. It replayed over and over and over again and it was driving me to insanity with each time it replayed.

*Flashback*

“Shylar Evans?” he asked and I nodded. “I sorry to tell you this, but your…husband,” he had some trouble saying that. “Was in an accident. He’s at the hospital right now but it’s not likely he’ll make it. You need to come with me and we’ll get your children and then go to the hospital. Alright?”

That was when I collapsed. I gave him a slight nod and he helped me into the car and we left for the twins’ school to pick them up.

*End flashback*

We had arrived at the school and I got out slowly. I felt dead…no, beyond dead. I felt as if the weight of the world was just thrown on me and had crushed my soul. I shuffled into the building and asked for my kids classroom. The lady gave me the directions and I turned and headed in that direction.

I stopped at the door and knocked lightly. The teacher answered and looked at me oddly. “I’m Tora and James’ father. They need to come with me, something happened.” I muttered.

She just nodded and went to get them. They came out in a minute looking confused. I just grabbed their hands and walked them to the police car waiting outside.

When Tora seen the car she looked at me with wide eyes. “Are we in trouble daddy?” she asked.

“No honey, something happened, we have to go to the hospital to see your other daddy. Ok?”

She nodded but James didn’t look too happy with my answer. “What happened? Is he ok?” he asked.

I shook my head fighting off tears as I put them in the car and got in as well. The cop dropped us off at the hospital and said he’d pick us up in an hour. I just nodded at him and led my children inside the cold gray building.

We were given directions by a nurse and within another minute we were walking in the door of the ICU. It wasn’t the first time I had been in here. First when Demik got into his first accident, and then when I had hurt myself.

I lead the twins over to the bed and sat them down in the chairs at the side. I just stood by his side trying not to cry. He looked awful, much worse then last time. Last time he just had small cuts and bruises, no, he was covered in gashes and cuts and had more than apparent broken bones.

He made a sound and opened his eyes slowly. I grabbed his hand and held it tightly. He looked at me and had a few tears of his own falling down his cheeks. “Baby…I didn’t think I’d see you again.” His voice was hoarse and I had to strain to hear him.

“Why wouldn’t you? I would never let you leave me without getting a goodbye.” I said through my tears.

“No...don’t…you can’t cry. You have to be strong for me, please?” He was practically begging me not to cry and I felt my heard give a violent tug.

“Daddy…are you going to be alright?” Tora asked holding onto his other hand.

He looked at her and tried to smile. “I don’t think so sweetie. Not this time. But remember something for me?” he asked lifting her chin up slightly.

She nodded as she started crying.

“Remember that I love you, so much and that I’ll always be with you.” He looked over at James next. “And the same goes for you. We may not have been all that close, but I still love you more then anything.”

For the first time since James had gotten older he started crying. I texted Katie while Demik was talking with them.

Katie, come 2 the hospital. I need you! - Shylar

A minute later I got a reply.

Ok, what’s going on hun? - Katie

A few more tears slid down my cheeks as I replied.

Demik’s not going to make it. I need u to take the kids for a couple days - Shylar

She didn’t reply so I assumed she was on her way. And sure enough, five minutes later she showed up. I guess it’s a good thing she lives close to the hospital now.

“James, Tora, want to come with auntie Katie for a little while? Daddy needs some space.” She grabbed there hands and led them out of the room, before coming back in for her goodbye.

“I love you Demik, be safe.” she said as she leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. She gave me a tight hug before walking back out of the room.

I held his hand again as I sat down in the chair next to his bed. “Baby, you can’t do this to me. I need you…so much.” I said letting the tears I had been holding in flow freely now.

‘Shy, I can’t hold on much longer. You should know that. They’re taking me off life support as soon as you give the go ahead. I can’t live without it, and I can’t live on it. It’s not fair to you and our children.” he said starting to cry as well.

“Ok baby. I love you, always have. I fell for you the instant I hit the ground when we first met. You were always my life, and you still are. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.” I said hugging him as best I could.

I helped him up a little and slid underneath him so that he was laying in my lap. I had to hold him one last time. I couldn’t let him go without holding him again. I leaned down and pressed my lips to his in a passionate, pain filled kiss lasting a good minute.

“You’ll find a way to move on baby, I’m sure of it.” he said when we broke apart.

The nurse came in after that and looked at me softly. “Are you ready to give the go ahead?” she asked.

“How long will he survive once he’s taken off of it?” I asked without looking up at her. I had my eyes held in line with Demik’s. What was I going to do without this beautiful boy by my side?

“About five minutes.” she said.

“Go ahead.” I said. I heard her shut the machine off and then Demik’s breathing got more strained. “I love you baby. I won’t let go…ever. No one will replace you, ever.” I leaned down and kissed him for the last time, wrapping my arms tight around him. When I pulled away he looked just about to give in.

“I love you Shylar, be strong for our children…I love you.” he said. His voice was getting fainter by the second now.

“I will. I love you.” I kissed his lips softly. While I was kissing him, I felt him stop breathing. At least he died happy. The last thing he felt was me kissing him, that would have made him happy. “I love you.” I held him in my arms until the nurse came back in saying I had to leave now.

When I got home I laid in bed crying, all night. I never slept, I didn’t eat, I never got out of bed. My world had ended and I didn’t care if I was next to leave. For the next few days it was the same thing. I never ate, never slept, never left my bed unless it was for the bathroom. My tears had tried up after the third day and now my eyes were just sore from crying so much.

I was constantly staring at my wedding band or holding it tightly in my hand. The nurse had given me what was in Demik’s pockets after he was taken off life support. There was a silver chain that he had meant to give me in there. I had it on ever since she gave it to me. I had also taken to wearing Demik’s wedding band and promise ring as well. Just so it felt like he was still with me. I was a mess, I really was. It was too the point I wanted to just give up and kill myself. But I couldn’t do that. I had promised Demik I would look after Tora and James. And I would try my best to raise them like he would have wanted.