‹ Prequel: Purple Hearts

Hope

Out In The Open

Everyone in the room was silent.

You could have heard a pin drop.

Tre entered the room then because he’d heard the front door slam and everyone turned to look at him. Surveying the room, Tre guessed what had been going on here.

Then Gerard spoke.

“Franky, I think you need to take a look at this.” He said handing her the letter.

She didn’t want to read it for then she would know for sure but she knew she had to.

With shaking hands she read the words in front of her.

“I need to go after Billie,” Franky said. “I think I know where he’ll be.”

“Franky, you’re upset, let’s just call him up.” Tre said putting his arm round his daughter.

“No, I don’t think he’ll answer. He’s angry and I don’t blame him.” Franky said her brilliant blue eyes so like her father’s full of tears.

“Mom, shall I come with you?” Hope asked. What had the letter said? She so wanted to know.

“No, I think this is something that I need to do alone. Billie and I need to talk anyway.”

Then she left the room, everyone’s eyes upon her.

**

Of course he’d be there, at the picnic spot, the place where she used to come when she wanted to be alone and think, mainly to think about her mother or when she used to dream of Billie many years ago.

He was sitting in his car but when he saw her pull up he got out.

He looked so sad and she knew she’d caused this, he looked sad and lonely and she hated herself right then.

She’d sensed recently that he’d grown a little apart from her, he’d been with Millie, he’d dated a couple of other women and he hadn’t called round to the house as much as he’d used to. She couldn’t remember the last time. She missed those visits.

It was probably over now but had it ever really begun?

His thick black hair was blowing in the wind, his old leather jacket was zipped up and he had his arms crossed in front of his chest as he watched her approach, leaning back on the car.

She loved everything about him, right from the moment she first saw Green Day play on MTV all those years ago, his face jumped out at her, like he was speaking to only her.

She’d always love him but she’d been a fucking idiot. She knew it, everyone else probably knew it. Billie must know it.

“I knew you’d be here,” Franky said as she drew close to him. Not too close though, it was like there was a barrier between them.

He didn’t answer.

“I…I don’t know what to say to you Billie, I…”

But then he cut in.

“I don’t know what to say either Franky, I can’t believe that you kept something like that from me, from us. How could you?”

“It was difficult, I…”

“Difficult? Difficult? Has it not been difficult keeping it from us? Wondering who the hell was Hope’s father, keeping her from her father. You’ve been selfish, more selfish and stubborn than I ever thought you could be.” He snapped at her.

Tears burned her eyes but she felt she deserved his words.

“You’ve played games with us all, getting us into the room with those letters. These are people’s lives you’re playing with.”

“I didn’t know about that, it was Hope’s idea…”

“So she knew too? When did she find out?”

“Last night.” Franky whispered. This was awful; she was beginning to feel light headed. She realised she hadn’t eaten all day, she’d been anxious about everything. She reached out and put her hand on the car for a little support.

Billie turned away from her. She wondered what he was thinking he must hate her but she knew she had to tell him her reasons but suddenly she felt weird, her head was spinning, everything in front of her was fading and she felt herself slipping to the ground.

**

When she woke she was laying on the ground beside the car, Billie leaning over her.

“Franky, come on, wake up. Thank God.” He said on seeing her eyes flutter open.

He was holding something against her cheek, a hanky.

“Come on; let’s get you into the car. You’ve cut your cheek.” He said pulling her up. She was aware of the aroma of his old leather jacket.

He opened the passenger door of his car and helped her inside then closed the door. Moments later he sat beside her, she started feeling better and he handed a bottle of water to her and as he did so she noticed his purple heart tattoo with her name alongside it, the tattoo he’d had done on his wrist because he’d loved her.

So what did he think of her now?

“You passed out.” Billie said. Turning she glanced at him but he was looking straight ahead.

“I guessed that,” Franky said, then smiled, her attempt at making light of the situation but he didn’t smile or laugh at all. Why would he?

She took a gulp of water, and then he turned to her and spoke.

“I suppose you haven’t been looking after yourself again. I bet you haven’t eaten anything, you don’t eat enough, always busy looking after everyone else. That’s you all over.”

“A minute ago you said I was selfish.” Franky said but knowing he was right, she was always concerned about others over herself. She’d been worried about the party, hoping that everyone was having a good time, worrying about the outcome of the letters.

“That’s different.” He said turning away again, “and you know it.”

“Course I know it. Hey, what’s with the holdall?” Franky said as she glanced his bag on the back seat.

“I was…am going away.” Billie said.

“Oh. Right.” Franky responded, her stomach falling. Where was he going? It couldn’t be anywhere with Millie, Millie was now with Jake. Did Jake know about his father and Millie? Would it matter now if he did know? Jake and Millie were perfect together, who was she to spoil it for them?

“Where?” Franky whispered.

“Just away, I can’t stand being around here anymore, its fucking with my head.”

“Oh.”

“No Franky, actually you’re fucking with my head and its gone on too long.”

“Has it?” Why was she being like this? She was being a bitch. She was a bitch.

He didn’t answer and she didn’t blame him.

“You can’t go anyway, you can’t, not now.” Franky said. She couldn’t look at him either.

“Who are you to tell me why I can’t go anywhere?” Billie said. She knew he was angry now.

“You can’t go because…I still love you, I want to make it work with you Billie, please, please don’t go.” She said tears running down her cheeks.

“I don’t know Franky.” Billie said, and then sighed deeply.

“Plus…plus I’m the mother of your daughter and…we need you.”

There, she’d said it, he knew now and so did she.

“It was the outcome I’d secretly wanted, I hadn’t wanted her to have any father but you and I was…scared that it wouldn’t be you.”

“Oh Franky, come here will you,” Billie said and they hugged tightly knowing they had a long way to go.