It's A Shame I'm A Dream

Aiden woke up the next morning to the pounding on the door down the hall. He blinked against the piercing sunshine from when he’d forgotten to shut his blinds.

“Brad!” came the voice of his mother audibly. “Get up!” There was a pause, and then the footsteps got closer until they stopped right outside his door.

“I’m already up,” Aiden said quickly, scrambling out of bed and meeting her in the doorway.

“You’re already running late, let’s go,” she said, frowning. “I don’t understand why you boys slept in today, didn’t you get to sleep by ten last night…?”

Aiden raised his eyebrows noncommittally and jumped into the bathroom as Brad’s door cracked open.

He had successfully brushed his teeth before the door slammed in on his right arm painfully.

“Ow!” he yelled, moving out of the way and shoving the door back towards Brad’s face.

“Move it, I need to get ready for school!”

“Then don’t sleep in!”

“I was tired!”

“Get out of the way –”

Their usual morning routine commenced until Aiden yanked his t-shirt over his head and kicked the door at Brad as he left. He snatched up his backpack distractedly with his smarting arm on his way downstairs.

“Are you eating breakfast?” Mrs. Walker asked, sipping her steaming ceramic mug of black coffee. She set the newspaper she’d been reading on the dining table and folded it to the back page.

Aiden plucked a bag of Lays off the counter. “We can go now,” he crunched through a mouthful of chips. “Shotgun!” he called as Brad appeared.

“You are not eating that for breakfast,” his mother said sternly. “We’ve got deli sandwiches in the fridge!” But Aiden had already slid out the door.

It already looked to be a promising day: the sky was blue and the air was still. There were no clouds in sight and his mother had even gotten the car wash since he’d last seen it. Regretfully Aiden glanced at his own car. It had overheated the day he’d driven Brad home, and he hadn’t had a chance to check it out. Maybe he would take a look before dinner tonight.

However, as soon as he got to school his spirits were crushed. During first period AP physics, an announcement came over the PA system.

“Just a notice for everyone,” a scratchy voice of one of the vice principals said mechanically, “the funeral service for Taylor Weiss will take place next week, November twenty-second at eleven o’clock. There is no fee for attendance, and it is her parents’ wishes that anyone who knew her please come. Thank you.” The voice clicked offline.

Aiden’s physics teacher, the young Mrs. Carley, shook her head sadly.

“What a shame,” she said, tapping the remote for the class’s TV against her knee. “How many of you are planning on going?”

The several sophomores in the class raised their hands hesitantly, along with one or two juniors and seniors. Everyone who did looked around to see who else was going. Aiden shrunk inconspicuously into his stool, unwilling to show if he was. Even if he was. Or thinking about it at any rate.

Great. Since he’d received Taylor’s letters, it kind of required him to be there. What huge mess had this girl gotten him into? Inwardly he groaned. Jesus, she was so much trouble.
Disregarding the solid fact that he thought this adoringly.

Perfect, now he could meet her parents while he was at it. Aiden almost laughed out loud in simple hysteria. It was like meeting a girlfriend’s parents, except this girlfriend was dead.
Dear God, something was definitely wrong with him, he was going to lose it.

Then another thought stopped him cold. Why was he even considering Taylor in this way at all? She was absolutely not his girlfriend, and he had absolutely no romantic interest in her. Zero. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Right? Right.

On the other hand, these days he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He hadn’t read a letter in days and yet she was constantly simmering just under the surface of conscious thought. He could never be sure what would trigger the image of her face, where he would recall the shape of her lips, her chestnut waves, slim figure –

Oh Lordy. Aiden shifted uncomfortably on his stool, his face burning as he tried to hide the tightness in his crotch. Getting off on the memory of a dead girl in physics class probably wasn’t the best way to start a day. Luckily the lights were off, since the class was watching a movie.

He tried willing it away, but the images were not easily cast aside. In fact, he could conjure up her figure, her lips curling into a familiar smile – her green eyes sparkling mischievously – something soft brushed his mouth and something else flitted past his inner thighs – speaking of which, the area was bothering him a lot –

– damn, would someone please fuck him now – Taylor –

Spots suddenly swam in his vision and he was startled back to reality. The classroom was brightly relit and everyone was bustling about, packing up for second period. No one seemed to have noticed his fantasy. Embarrassed, he placed his backpack in his lap until the bell excused them.

For the rest of the day, Aiden moved robotically between classes, humiliated by the episode in physics. Although no one had actually seen anything, he still couldn’t look anyone in the eye. Fortunately, his telltale snake had crawled back under its rock by second hour, when he firmly shut his memories and daydreams of Taylor to the depths of his mind.
When he finally got home, relieved, the house was empty. He checked his car back into working order. He had a nagging feeling by five o’clock that his mother and brother wouldn’t be home before midnight, so he took a carton of vanilla ice cream and climbed onto the couch.

The sky steadily darkened and soon the only light came from the TV screen. Aiden finished half the ice cream in ten minutes and forgot about it in the Ghostbusters marathon that ran until one. By then the night was starry and the ice cream had melted on the coffee table. He lazily nudged it out of the way with his toe and curled up into a fetal position, multicolored light flickering on his face and finally letting his thoughts rest once again on Taylor Weiss.

It wasn’t hard, in the dark, to think profoundly, to wonder about forces beyond control. So far, his emotions for Taylor where what puzzled him most. She could turn him on into the horniest teenager alive at the mere remembrance of her appearance. None of the alive, walking, and talking girls at his school had succeeded in doing that in the past few weeks. Aiden sighed wistfully: if only Taylor were still alive. There. He admitted it, possibly what he’d been wishing all along. Then it probably would’ve been much more simple, his feelings sorted out effortlessly. At this rate, he didn’t understand anything. Her being dead only complicated things.

If she were alive, maybe he would’ve found out what it would be like to touch her skin, and, maybe, kiss her. He’d like to make her laugh again. Maybe, if she were alive, he could take her out on a date, try the relationship thing. If only he had thought of this sooner.

Maybe, it could’ve been nice.