I'll Stand by You
I'll Stand By You
Nate approached Cabin Six. He was happy; for the first time in a long time. He had final nailed that chord progression that had been ticking him off. He was grinning from ear to ear. That grin soon faded when he entered the room. He found Shane, sitting up against the far wall of the cabin. He was cradling his knees to his chest. Nate saw a small pool of blood on the floor on Shane‘s left side. He sighed to himself and approached him. He knelt in front of him.
“Shane?”
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry.
Shane looked up and Nate. His eyes were bloodshot, he furiously wiped the tears off his cheeks; resting his head on the wall behind him. The tears fell again. Shane moved his hand to wipe them away but Nate gripped his arm, examining the new cuts that were carved across Shane’s wrist. Shane looked at Nate. His eyes were big with shock and horror. He didn’t want his best friend, and the boy he loved, to find out about his self harm habit like this. Shane heard Nate sigh as he stood up. Shane thought Nate was leaving. But he walked over to the bathroom and emerged with two towels; he placed one over the small amount on the floor and wrapped a cold wet towel over Shane’s wrist before taking a seat next to him. He applied pressure to the wounds, making Shane wince. Nate looked into Shane’s eyes; they were shining with tears again.
“I’m so sorry, Nate,” Shane whimpered, barely audibly. Nate looked thoughtful. He let go of Shane's wrist and rolled up the left sleeve of his hoodie, revealing white, almost clear scars scattered from the bottom of his palm to half way up his forearm. Shane gasped quietly, before smiling slightly; thoughtfully.
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do.
“Why do you do it, Shane?” Nate asked in a hushed voice.
“It hurts,” Shane answered, just as quietly. Nate looked at him; his face reading, “Well, why do it?”
“I don’t mean the cutting hurts,” Shane explained. “Well, it does. But it’s what I feel that hurts. It’s not like I can tell anyone. Everyone will hate me. They won’t see me for who I am anymore.”
“Shane,” Nate soothed, taking his hand in his, interlacing their fingers and squeezing. “You can tell me.”
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you.
Shane looked at Nate with a pained expression. He did want to Nate, but the fear of losing him was way too strong.
“I can’t,” Shane shook his head; more tears tracing lines down his already tear streaked face. “You’ll hate me.”
“Nothing that you can say will make me hate you, Shane,” Nate squeezed Shane's hand tighter. Shane slumped, resting his head on Nate's shoulder. Nate felt him shudder while he sobbed. Nate moved, wrapping his arms around Shane's shoulders and pulling him into him. He was cradling him like a mother would cradle a son, like a brother would cradle a sister, like a boy would cradle a girl, like a lover would cradle it's significant other.
“I’m here Shane,” Nate rubbed circles on his back. “Let it all out.”
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now.
“It just isn’t fair,” Shane said, sitting up straight, away from Nate.
“What isn’t?” Nate asked, confused.
“Anything!” Shane muttered, raising his voice slightly, throwing the cloth off his wrist and standing up. “It’s not fair that I feel obliged to harm myself like this every time I think about it. It’s not fair that no one understands why I can’t just come right out and confess everything.”
He spun around and faced Nate; standing over him, making Nate feel uncomfortable.
“Why can’t everything just be simple? Why can’t there be no prejudice! Why can’t everyone just live in harmony with each other? Why can a guy confess his feelings to someone without being mocked and picked on?” Shane continued, getting obviously more upset with each sentence.
Shane collapsed onto his knees in front of Nate. He supported himself with his arms and sobbed into the floor. Nate got up onto his knees and crawled the few short feet till he reached Shane. He rested forehead against Shane’s and smiled slightly and sweetly at him.
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong.
Shane looked up properly and looked Nate in the eye.
“Life isn’t fair Shane,” Nate told him. “But, you got to roll with the punches, take everything as it’s thrown at you. I’ll stick with you through everything.”
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.
Shane sat back on his feet and sighed.
“I guess you’re right,” Shane chewed his lip.
“If it’s any consolation Shane,” Nate sat back too, crossing his legs, leaning back against the wall. “I’m in the same calamity as you.”
This made Shane look up at Nate, confused.
“How do you mean?” Shane asked, rubbing the back of his neck; he crawled over and sat next to Nate, mimicking his current position.
“I’ve fallen for someone I shouldn’t have either,” Nate smiled sadly. Shane looked at him thoughtfully.
“But, I can guarantee the person you fell for isn’t from the same gender,” Shane confessed, glad to get that off his shoulders.
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Nate told him, turning his head to look at him; smiling.
“You fell for a guy?” Shane looked at him incredulously. Nate had always been such a subtle flirt. All the girls were crazy about him; his curls, his smile, his beautiful eyes. Nate nodded and smiled at Shane.
“Are you going to tell him?” Shane asked.
“Are you?” Nate copied.
“Maybe we can both admit to each other who we like,” Shane suggested. “At least that way, we’ve told someone.” Nate shrugged. It didn’t seem like a bad idea. They both stood up, leaving a gap between them.
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own.
“On the count of three?” Nate said, his nerves getting the better of him. His palms were sweaty, his heart was racing. He wasn’t really going to do this was he? Shane had closed his eyes. Nate did the same, hoping it would calm him down. It didn’t.
“One?” Nate chanted.
“Two?” Shane continued.
“Three!” Both Shane and Nate said together. Both their eyes snapped open.
“It’s you!” they said together, almost shouting. Both boys grew a pink blush across their cheeks. They broke eye contact and both looked at the floor.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you.
Nate slowly looked up, and found Shane still looking at the floor. He took a few steps until he was standing directly in front of Shane. He used his finger to raise Shane’s chin so that he was looking him in the eye. Shane’s eyes were glassy again. This time it was sad crying, or pained crying, it was happy crying. Nate placed a small kiss on Shane’s lips, before wrapping his arms around his shoulders and giving him a hug. Shane snaked his arm around Nate’s small waist and squeezed gently. They broke apart and looked at each other.
“We’ll be okay, yeah?” Shane asked Nate, his small voice laced with concerned.
“As long as we have someone standing by us,” Nate nodded. “We’ll be perfectly fine.”
Shane laced his fingers through Nate’s again and smiled. Nate returned the smile.
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you.
“No more pain, Shane,” Nate told him, smiling at him. “Promise me?”
“I promise,” Shane returned the smile, content for the first time in a long time.
“Shane?”
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry.
Shane looked up and Nate. His eyes were bloodshot, he furiously wiped the tears off his cheeks; resting his head on the wall behind him. The tears fell again. Shane moved his hand to wipe them away but Nate gripped his arm, examining the new cuts that were carved across Shane’s wrist. Shane looked at Nate. His eyes were big with shock and horror. He didn’t want his best friend, and the boy he loved, to find out about his self harm habit like this. Shane heard Nate sigh as he stood up. Shane thought Nate was leaving. But he walked over to the bathroom and emerged with two towels; he placed one over the small amount on the floor and wrapped a cold wet towel over Shane’s wrist before taking a seat next to him. He applied pressure to the wounds, making Shane wince. Nate looked into Shane’s eyes; they were shining with tears again.
“I’m so sorry, Nate,” Shane whimpered, barely audibly. Nate looked thoughtful. He let go of Shane's wrist and rolled up the left sleeve of his hoodie, revealing white, almost clear scars scattered from the bottom of his palm to half way up his forearm. Shane gasped quietly, before smiling slightly; thoughtfully.
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do.
“Why do you do it, Shane?” Nate asked in a hushed voice.
“It hurts,” Shane answered, just as quietly. Nate looked at him; his face reading, “Well, why do it?”
“I don’t mean the cutting hurts,” Shane explained. “Well, it does. But it’s what I feel that hurts. It’s not like I can tell anyone. Everyone will hate me. They won’t see me for who I am anymore.”
“Shane,” Nate soothed, taking his hand in his, interlacing their fingers and squeezing. “You can tell me.”
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you.
Shane looked at Nate with a pained expression. He did want to Nate, but the fear of losing him was way too strong.
“I can’t,” Shane shook his head; more tears tracing lines down his already tear streaked face. “You’ll hate me.”
“Nothing that you can say will make me hate you, Shane,” Nate squeezed Shane's hand tighter. Shane slumped, resting his head on Nate's shoulder. Nate felt him shudder while he sobbed. Nate moved, wrapping his arms around Shane's shoulders and pulling him into him. He was cradling him like a mother would cradle a son, like a brother would cradle a sister, like a boy would cradle a girl, like a lover would cradle it's significant other.
“I’m here Shane,” Nate rubbed circles on his back. “Let it all out.”
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now.
“It just isn’t fair,” Shane said, sitting up straight, away from Nate.
“What isn’t?” Nate asked, confused.
“Anything!” Shane muttered, raising his voice slightly, throwing the cloth off his wrist and standing up. “It’s not fair that I feel obliged to harm myself like this every time I think about it. It’s not fair that no one understands why I can’t just come right out and confess everything.”
He spun around and faced Nate; standing over him, making Nate feel uncomfortable.
“Why can’t everything just be simple? Why can’t there be no prejudice! Why can’t everyone just live in harmony with each other? Why can a guy confess his feelings to someone without being mocked and picked on?” Shane continued, getting obviously more upset with each sentence.
Shane collapsed onto his knees in front of Nate. He supported himself with his arms and sobbed into the floor. Nate got up onto his knees and crawled the few short feet till he reached Shane. He rested forehead against Shane’s and smiled slightly and sweetly at him.
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong.
Shane looked up properly and looked Nate in the eye.
“Life isn’t fair Shane,” Nate told him. “But, you got to roll with the punches, take everything as it’s thrown at you. I’ll stick with you through everything.”
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.
Shane sat back on his feet and sighed.
“I guess you’re right,” Shane chewed his lip.
“If it’s any consolation Shane,” Nate sat back too, crossing his legs, leaning back against the wall. “I’m in the same calamity as you.”
This made Shane look up at Nate, confused.
“How do you mean?” Shane asked, rubbing the back of his neck; he crawled over and sat next to Nate, mimicking his current position.
“I’ve fallen for someone I shouldn’t have either,” Nate smiled sadly. Shane looked at him thoughtfully.
“But, I can guarantee the person you fell for isn’t from the same gender,” Shane confessed, glad to get that off his shoulders.
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Nate told him, turning his head to look at him; smiling.
“You fell for a guy?” Shane looked at him incredulously. Nate had always been such a subtle flirt. All the girls were crazy about him; his curls, his smile, his beautiful eyes. Nate nodded and smiled at Shane.
“Are you going to tell him?” Shane asked.
“Are you?” Nate copied.
“Maybe we can both admit to each other who we like,” Shane suggested. “At least that way, we’ve told someone.” Nate shrugged. It didn’t seem like a bad idea. They both stood up, leaving a gap between them.
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own.
“On the count of three?” Nate said, his nerves getting the better of him. His palms were sweaty, his heart was racing. He wasn’t really going to do this was he? Shane had closed his eyes. Nate did the same, hoping it would calm him down. It didn’t.
“One?” Nate chanted.
“Two?” Shane continued.
“Three!” Both Shane and Nate said together. Both their eyes snapped open.
“It’s you!” they said together, almost shouting. Both boys grew a pink blush across their cheeks. They broke eye contact and both looked at the floor.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you.
Nate slowly looked up, and found Shane still looking at the floor. He took a few steps until he was standing directly in front of Shane. He used his finger to raise Shane’s chin so that he was looking him in the eye. Shane’s eyes were glassy again. This time it was sad crying, or pained crying, it was happy crying. Nate placed a small kiss on Shane’s lips, before wrapping his arms around his shoulders and giving him a hug. Shane snaked his arm around Nate’s small waist and squeezed gently. They broke apart and looked at each other.
“We’ll be okay, yeah?” Shane asked Nate, his small voice laced with concerned.
“As long as we have someone standing by us,” Nate nodded. “We’ll be perfectly fine.”
Shane laced his fingers through Nate’s again and smiled. Nate returned the smile.
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you.
“No more pain, Shane,” Nate told him, smiling at him. “Promise me?”
“I promise,” Shane returned the smile, content for the first time in a long time.