Aurora

In the morning, Lady Joy's attendings bathed me once more. I questioned them about all this washing, but they insisted that it might be quite awhile before I was able to be clean again and when I realized this, I obeyed as they scrubbed my skin and doused me with oils. They dressed me in new clothes - clothes I didn't even realized Lady Joy and Lord Love might have. First I was clad in a lightweight, yet warm leggings and a chemise made of the same material. Then I was given doeskin breeches, leather wrapped boots and an oilskin tunic. Over that they threw some sort of fishscail looking armor that glinted in the sun and over that they pulled a strange garment I'd only seen in books that they called a surcoat. It was silver and soft to the touch. Then, without touching my flowers, they twirled up my hair into a smart updo that would not come undone even if I ran fast.

I was left to attach my quiver and bow to my back and my pack at my side and when I finished that, I wandered out of my room, the ache of the dream still imprinted on my mind. I vaguely remembered a man calling me his daughter and while part of me dismissed it as simply a dream, another part knew that all dreams were tied to some sort of truth. Whether my father was truly a dark skinned man with hair as black as night I could not be sure, but he was out there, and that thought comforted me. Closing my eyes, I conjured up the image of him that I had. His face was shaped like mine and there were similarities I could not deny. Was this the forest giving me a sign? Or was this the trick of my own imagination?

Below, in the foyer, I heard indistinct voices. Looking down I realized Adrian was already standing with Lady Love and Lord Joy. He was dressed in a similar fashion as I was, but his surcoat was more golden pearlescent than mine. He looked up as I came down and smiled. My fingertips tingled and, clenching my hands into fists, I knew this was Adrian's way of apologizing for his actions last night. I returned the smile as I came to meet with the three others. In some hollow of my body it did hurt to know that there were things Adrian was keeping from me, but there were things I was keeping from him.

"Aurora, good morning!" Lord Love's expression was full of warmth. "We just wanted to give you both something before you set off on your journey." I made a move to protest, but Lord Love stopped me. "My dear, you two are off to save the Queen of the Moon. It is the most difficult of all the tasks, only the bravest of knights attempt it and as you can see, no one has yet succeeded. We only wish to give you tokens of our appreciation."

It was then that two male attendings stepped out from a darkened archway carrying what looked like leather sheaths for a sword. I turned to Lord Love and Lady Joy. "Thank you for all you have done for us. I am sorry to say we have nothing to give you in return." For a moment I was stabbed with the guilt I'd felt when we'd departed from Charon's house with not so much as a word of goodbye. The attending with deep brown bowed in front of me and offered the sword. After a hesitation, I took it.

"Please, we insist. You don't know how cold the nights in the forest get without the moon. We miss our Queen." Lady Joy's voice was full of an emotion I didn't think I'd ever hear from her - sadness. Or maybe it was something more like wistfulness. Either way, the emotion didn't sound right in her throat. She must have realized that for she smiled. "We believe that you can do this. This is what we can do to help. Your thanks is gift enough. Besides, we need nothing."

"All the same," Adrian said, his voice quiet, his hands gripping the sword. "Thank you." We then made our goodbyes, thanked our hosts once more, buckled our swords to our sides and set off into the forest, pale blue sky filtering in over the treetops. It was a long while before we said anything, but our silence was companionable. Whatever had happened last night, it was behind us. Today was a new morning. "Have you ever been taught how to use a sword?" Adrian asked some time later.

I flushed. "No. Delphine deemed it unecessary. We knew how to use bows and arrows and that was enough, in her eyes." Saying the words, I realized just how foolish they were. We should have been taught a variety of weapons, not only the bow and arrow. We'd never had a reason to use swords or daggers or the like, though, and many of the girls had complained that those weapons were so medieval and masculine. I had to admit, the sword banging at my side felt awkward and silly. Or maybe it was just me who felt awkward and silly.

"I shall have to teach you, then," the Prince of Wolves concluded. I raised an eyebrow. "That is, if you wish to learn." I looked to my companion and nodded. "Fine, then, draw your sword. Your training begins now."

From then on, we trained at every moment. Even when we were walking, he taught me. Sometimes we would pause in the midst of a clearing and take an hour to fight each other, but most of the time he taught me as we moved. Despite the fact that our travel was filled with another purpose, we managed to make good time. The teaching and the sparring gave us something to think about other than the silence that lay between us. In fact, it managed to diminish the silence. What I'd thought before was surliness or moodiness on Adrian's part was just shyness and embarrassment. As we fought he continued to open up a great deal. There were still times when his face would be come anguished and I would realize that there were still things he dared not speak to me about, but on most subjects his tongue moved freely. He began to speak more of Lourdes. They'd always known that they were to be married and until some time ago, Lourdes had made it clear that she did not wish to marry him. For awhile, Adrian confided, Lourdes was not like her father. She once had held an easy smile and a sharp with and had been Adrian's best friend. Love had changed her, though. Unrequited love. Adrian had made it clear that he thought of her as a sister and nothing else. Because of that, Lourdes had changed from a happy child into a razor sharp young woman who had her black eyes set on him and him alone.

He also talked to me more about his father and the policies he didn't agree with. Randulf was a carefree man who sympathized with the rich and prominent spirits of the wood and tended to shun the lesser ones. He was popular among nobles and royals, but with the average citizen of the woods, he was spurned. Adrian told me things he would do differently if he were in his father's position. He became quiet when I told him someday he would. It was strange. When we were open like this, sparring and jabbing, I often imagined Adrian as a great king. There was something in his face that spoke of endless wisdom, and although I said nothing to him about it, a fierce pride swept through me when he spoke of changes he would make. I would be happy as a citizen of the forest under his leadership. And although I knew that would never be enough, I didn't tell him so.

I talked more often as well. I told him about the girls, about Magdalena who I missed and Rosalyn who had surprised me. I spoke of Lise and Ileana, how they would sit together and read the same book for hourse. I told him about Niamh's plot to throw me out of Lunarenstein - me, Rosalyn and Magdalena. I confided my fear that she had already gained control of Delphine. Adrian didn't say much on that - I knew he felt guilty for making me leave. He did say, however, that from what I had told him about Delphine, he didn't think she would believe anything Niamh tried to do. When I realized he was right, I felt a little better. I told Adrian about Stefan and Gregori and what Rosalyn had said about the boys in town looking at me and then looking away - I told him this with a blush and he did not say anything to that. I did not tell him about Nikolae. I didn't know why. Instead I spoke of the younger girls and then about all the things we had learned. As we traveled and trained and fought one another, we began to realize we had learned much of the same things. Our physical sparrs were often accompanied by verbal ones - he could talk for hours on the merits of Chaucer while I continued to argue for Shakespeare.

And as we fought and I became better at the sword, I realized something even more strange than anything that had happened to me in this odd place. I felt no restriction as I learned the sword, I felt to need to do well, no need to impress. I often made mistakes and even more often had bruises and scrapes to show for them, but I reveled in them. I was not learning this for Delphine, I realized. I was learning for myself. And that might have been the strangest mystery of all.

The sword came to me easily enough but I refused to rest until I'd mastered it. Adrian had been taught in the ways of the sword, dagger and bow and arrow since he was a small child and had shown proficiency for them at a young age. In the human realm, it was not common for a Prince to have better defensive and combat skills than one of his Royal Guard, however, Adrian eventually admitted that he had bested all of the men and women assigned to protect him. He was quick to point out, however, that he had never met another with my ease. And he was right. Fighting came so naturally to me that it left me sometimes, inexplicably frightened. At those moments I would shy away from Adrian and beg to stop praticing.

Still, despite everything - maybe even ourselves - we grew closer and as we did so, I noticed strange things happening. Sometimes I would be able to feel what Adrian felt or even answer a thought of his out loud without even realizing that I'd known what he was thinking about in the first place. It happened with him as well and he explained that it was our bond. The tattoos on our wrists glittered bright in the sun, reminders of who we were to each other, reminding me who I was now. One of the forest.

It was on one these bright days, days - maybe weeks - later that as we moved through the woods, I realized just how quiet the forest was. It was a rare moment that our swords weren't out and even a rarer moment that we weren't talking, just taking our time through the still woods. Over the days or weeks - time seemed to blur here even when Adrian and I were speaking to each other - we'd seen mountain ranges and frozen ponds and frosted meadows. We'd also come across creatures of the wood who nodded to us as we passed. Sometimes we came across villages, but we did not stop long, only to have some real food and stock up on things we were running low of. I'd balked the first time I'd seen some of the oddities offered in the tiny item shops in these places, and Adrian had needed to pull me out of the tents like I was a child in a candy store. Adrian made mention of two cities in the forest he'd glimpsed, but none were on our path.

Today, however, we were all alone in the woods. There weren't even any animals here, from the mortal world or of the forest. Adrian and I looked at each other, understanding without words the charges of fear that coursed through our veins. The sun was slipping behind the trees, making the trees gold golden. The sky was blooming pinks and purples and twilight, like dust, would soon descend. Still, we had time before nightfall and before we needed to find a vacant tree, lest we freeze to death. Why did I feel so anxious all of a sudden?

It was then that Adrian stopped. "Aurora, I don't like how the air feels."

For a moment I was baffled by his words, until I realized that I could feel it as well. There was something rotten in the air, just far enough away so that one couldn't tell just where it was coming from. The space around me seemed to close in on my skin, as if I'd entered a humid room. My breathing became labored, and as I looked at Adrian, I saw that he, too, was gasping for breath. "What is it?" I asked, looking around me, my hands instantly going to my bow.

"I can only remember one other occasion when the air felt like this. The Guard and I were on a raid of one of the villages who was said to be holding a spirit of great evil. Many of the spirits in the forest are tricksters, but only a few are truly malevolent. We managed to get force him out of the village but on the way back were stopped by this same feeling." Adrian looked tense. "It was then that we were attacked by an army of rotten things. At their heels was the cackling Liche Queen." He saw my face contort in shock. "She is not benign, Aurora, no matter if she aided you or not. It is true, she did not steal the Moon Queen like your mother said she did, but she does enjoy making lives difficult for fun."

"So are we to expect a horde of the Dead?" I questioned, my eyes flitting all around me. Adrian's grim face told me yes. "Do we have a chance against them?"

"I am of the Day and of the Life and of the Earth. They are none of these things. The touch of the wolves burns them. We were able to defeat them easily...of course, there were many skilled warriors there that day."

Closing my eyes, I cursed softly to myself. "Well, then, we'd best keep moving long enough. My skill alone makes up for, what, five of your soldiers?"

"Ten," Adrian said, quirking up his mouth. "Even if we do have the strength of twenty men." I could tell he meant to say something more, but it was then that we heard noises just beyond our sight. Clattering noises, low voices, the stomp of skeletal feet. We waited, and I was reminded of the day when I was back at Lunarenstein and we'd expected a wolf attack and I'd only found Dog. I conjured up an image of him in my mind and took a deep breath. I must not fail now. If the Liche Queen was sending us her minions as some sort of macabre 'test', I would meet her challenge and rise against it. When I looked back to Adrian, I saw only an oversized wolf beside me. Seeing him in that form surprised me for a moment - I'd forgotten what he was was. And for moment I, too, felt an urge to slide out of my skin and become some beast. I didn't, though. I stayed myself, my two feet planted very firmly on the ground.

They came into our line of vision, a row of hideous gray-black, rotten, skeletal corpses twenty wide. I sucked in my breath. Now, I felt Adrian say or maybe it was he heard me say it, I didn't know. I strung my bow and thought of Adrian's words. That I had the capabilities of ten soldiers. And they had the strength of twenty men. My stomach dropped. "Then I must need the strength of two-hundred men tonight." And then, after a silent prayer to Artemis, Adrian and I charged forward.

The Dead things did as well, but they were wobbly as they tried to run. Many fell apart coming towards us and I felt a great shout of laughter emit from my chest. I sent arrows flying left and right, hitting everything I saw even in my periphery, until I realized that they would not die until completely pulled apart. With swift hands I put away my bow and drew the sword. The metal of the handle felt warm in my hands. For a moment I looked at Adrian once more, watching as he pulled them apart with his wolf jaws. The Dead emitted terrible screams as soon as he came in contact with their flesh. Some even burst into deep red flames. With a shake of my head, I realized I could not waste my time watching. A hand of one of the corpses swiped out and I felt a searing pain on my face, but nothing I hadn't felt before. Nothing serious. Nothing too bad that it could stop me.

I pushed against them, hacking as I went, doing all I could to break them apart. It was easier than I thought, but there were ten for everyone I killed. Still I slashed and jabbed all I could, feeling their hands trying and failing to rip the fabric of my armour and the now dirty surcoat. I felt their fists in my side and on my back and at my neck but I didn't pay attention to the pain that was inflicted on me. It was only when one was right in front of me, one that held some sort of weapon, that I felt any sort of fear. He descended down on me, a rotting rapier bearing down on my shoulder. In a panic I pushed out my left hand, the one that wasn't holding the sword, and shoved his face from mine. He screamed the scream that all of the Dead who were burned, yet not killed, felt. When I looked, there was an angry red mark on his gray face, his flesh - or what had once been flesh - falling away. I thrust my hand out again and used my sword, relief swelling through me. I must be at least partly a spirit if I could harm the Dead like that.

On and on I touched and sliced my way through the Dead, Adrian beside me, doing the same. We managed to kill the last one together, My sword cutting off his head and, Adrian turning human once more, his sword slicing through his feeble body. When he fell we stopped and stood, stunned in the snow. The snow around us was filled with the rotting chunks of what had been reanimated corpses. No longer. We had slayed all of the Dead, Adrian and I.

A laugh escaped me, then, a terrified and exhausted laugh. "We must find shelter," I heard Adrian say. "You are badly injured."

Looking at him, I noticed that the same was true for my companion. His lip was bloodied and there were scrapes along his face. "You as well," I remarked. Adrian strode over to me, stepping over a piece of the final corpse we had destroyed and took my arm. We hastened away from the scene of the massacre until we could smell the rotting flesh no longer. "Why would she do that?" I asked, my breath catching in my throat. "That was no test, we could have been killed."

"I think, Aurora, that was the point. Still, your touch burned them same as mine. Your father must have been a spirit of life."

"Something in me tells me he was the spirit of a wolf." I looked to Adrian. "Do you know of any of your brothers who might have lain with Delphine?" Adrian shook his head.

"I would have only been four at the time." He paused. "Why do you think he was the spirit of a wolf?"

I looked to the snow as we continued to drag ourselves through the forest, the sun dipped down. It was no longer golden here, and I no longer felt warm. A chill was seeping through my bones. I did not know whether it was from the air or from the almost certain death I had somehow escaped from. "As we stood there, waiting, I looked at you as a wolf. And...something strange happened to me. For a moment I felt myself sliding away and becoming something else. I thought for sure I would become a wolf. But I didn't."

Adrian was quiet and stopped. He dropped my arm and I did not leave the spot I stood. He moved to a tree, knocked twice, and waited as it opened. We were in luck, it was empty. I followed Adrian under the tree where a large and moderately warm hollowed out space was. It was not as lavish as some of the ones we'd been in, but I noticed it had a black pipe that extended from a firepit up to what I figured was the ground. We would be able to make a fire tonight without fear of burning our home out. Some of the trees we slept in did not even have a place for a fire, and on those nights, we'd had to huddle against each other for warmth. After the first time we'd slept near each other, the embarrassment had shifted into necessisity. Tonight, it seemed, we would not have to sleep next to each other. I felt curiously disappointed. We didn't say much else until we'd finished making a fire, cleaning ourselves up and setting a place for us to sleep. This tree even had a couple of musky smelling furs stored away that we laid out to sleep on.

Finally when we were resting and eating a small supper of semi-stale bread and water, Adrian looked at me. "I do not know, Aurora. I have always been able to become a wolf." I realized then that he was making a comment to my earlier statement. "I have heard about men who are only part wolf and they have never changed at all. And I've heard about others who were born one of us but outside the family, so they didn't know who they were. They didn't become a wolf for so long that eventually the power left them and they were simply mortal men."

Sadness slipped through me. "That must be it, then. Even if my father was a wolf, I am slowly becoming...ordinary."

Adrian scoffed. "On the contrary, Aurora, ordinary is something I doubt you'll ever be."

I laughed and then fell quiet. Sleepiness overcame me and I rested my head on the crook of my elbow and watched the orange flames. I blinked in and out of consciousness for awhile before waking up to see that the fire was dying and Adrian was nowhere to be seen. I threw some more kindling on the fire, blew on it, and as soon as the flame caught, another log. Then I picked myself up and shimmied out of the tree...to see Adrian sitting in snow, closing his eyes, speaking out loud to no one.

No, I realized with a start. Not no one. The stars. I remembered the night before we'd set off, he'd told me that his people talked to the stars. I thought it strange that he did so; he thought it strange I didn't. Now I watched him, his lips quietly moving. I could only hear the hum of his deep voice, but I saw that his face was relaxed. In the back of my head I knew I should retreat back into the tree and leave him to his musings, but I didn't. He looked peaceful, now, but there was something serious in the way he held his body. He was every inch the future king here, asking the stars for guidance. I longed to know what he was talking to them about, and recalled what he'd said. That whenever he spoke to them, they only laughed. Were they laughing now? Or could they, too, see the Great King within him?

When at last he opened his eyes again, I moved back inside the tree and sat cross legged on one of the furs. Adrian appeared a few moments later and our eyes met. I did not even pretend not to know. "Did they laugh?" I questioned.

Adrian gave the fire a dazed smile. "No. They were...quite helpful."

"What did you ask?" My voice was soft, made lazy by orange glow of the fire and the softness of Adrian's voice.

"Questions." Adrian's answer was enigmatic and enough to make me realize that whatever he'd consulted them about it, was private. "What happened today. Whether the Liche Queen meant us to live or not. Whether we are destined to succeed in our quest. What will become of you after we finish."

My stomach turned when he mentioned that he'd spoke of me. "And? Were they helpful?"

"They spoke in riddles, as my father says they do. So I can never be sure. For all intents and purposes, however, they implied that you would find your way. For that, I am glad."

"Me too." For some reason, I felt infinitely sad, like some hand was closing around my body and covering me with an aching loss. I did not understand this feeling, nor did I like it. It made me feel so far away from the man sitting across from me, and yet, it also made me long to reach out and touch him. I'd never felt this sense of dread coupled with desperation before. I hated it and turned away from Adrian, as if turning away from him could allow me to turn away from myself. Loneliness was a wave that crashed over me again and again, but its waters were not harsh. They enveloped me and dragged me under, like webbed claws of the creatures in the Lake of Shadows and Songs. I was not dreaming, nor was I in any danger, still, it felt almost like drowning, this dizzy, awful, painful feeling.

When I looked up, I saw that Adrian had turned away from me. I took a deep breath and settled on my back and closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, it was once again dark. The fire was just a pile of glowing embers now and I didn't bother to relight the fire. Our space was stifiling hot and I knew I must get some air. Once again I shimmied out of the tree, this time, however, I made my way to where Adrian had been, hours earlier. The snow was still bare where he had sat. I sat too, now and looked at the stars. "What am I doing here?" I asked them, not expecting an answer.

"Looking like a fool, I suppose." The voice behind me was slithery, grating and horribly familiar. In a flash I stood up and drew my sword. The Liche Queen stood a few paces away, the raven perched on her shoulder, the bowl of tears in her hands. "Oh goodness, you've got a sword now. Aurora, you've become quite the warrior since we last met."

"Enough of one to defeat your army."

"That was a small taste of what I have, Aurora. Death is limitless."

"You could have killed us," I spat. "I thought you wanted me to save her." There was no questioning who 'her' was.

The Liche Queen shrugged. Her silver bowl was over flowing with tears. I saw her tip the bowl over. As soon as the tears met the air, they turned to snow and drifted off. "In the springtime, this water will melt into the ground and meet with the stream. The stream will run to a river which always, always runs to death." I ignored her words. "You knew you would not die, Aurora of the Forest." For some reason, I found it strange that she would call me by my new name. In her voice, the title held no contempt, something else I found odd. "Admit it, the sight of an enemy excited you. You were glad to have something to try your new skill out on. You knew you would win. You only have a few small flesh wounds. Try to spare me the indignation, Aurora. You knew you would survive."

At first I wanted to disagree with her, shout at her, curse her name. Then I realized that no matter what I said, I would know she was right. I had thought I would live. I believed in my abilities. "Then why did you do it?"

"Because I knew you were strong enough." I repeated her words in my head and found them lingering in my mind like a bright, silver star. "Were you able to defeat them?" Yes. "Didn't you wish for a chance to prove that you could?" Yes. "Were you strong enough?" Yes. "Are you strong enough to overcome things much more difficult than a simple army of my pitiful creatures? Are you strong enough to overcome darkness, Aurora? Are you strong enough to overcome fear? Are you strong enough to overcome doubt? Are you strong enough?"

The answer came to me, surprising me with its simple force.

Yes.