Aurora

wild and fierce.

Image

By sunset we reached an enormous gate. We'd been traveling for a few hours, mostly in silence. This morning, before we left, I'd noticed Lourdes with an older man, a fierce-eyed man who had made my skin creep and crawl. The way he'd looked at me made me terrified; like he knew my weaknesses and planned to rip me to shreds. I didn't want to ask Adrian who he was and I hadn't still, but I could make a guess. He and Lourdes had a similar face and although he didn't look it, he felt much older than her. I could only guess that he was her father - another man Dog would probably want me to be afraid of. He was on my mind a good part of the day, however, and the rest of my thoughts me wondering if I should speak to Adrian. Sometimes I'd feel a tug at the bottom of my heart and my head would scream, What in Artemis's name are you doing? Get back to Lunarenstein, go back where you belong!

Except then I remembered that they all thought I was dead, and that I didn't really belong anywhere. Adrian told me something evil was going on at Lunarenstein and that I couldn't be there, but a part of me wondered if not facing that evil was the right thing to do. By the time I returned, if I returned at all, Niamh might have already pushed Rosalyn and Magdalena out. Everything might be different. It was difficult to come to terms with the fact that it was not my life anymore.

Adrian walked with slow, deliberate steps and I found myself watching him when the thoughts in my head became too much to bear. He had an easy grace about him and I longed to ask how he could ever feel out of place. He was meant to be King with his handsome face, his strong body and his assured steps. But then I would remember the terrified expression he gave me when he told me he was supposed to become the protector of all the land some day. I thought of the way he had looked at his palace, an oddly low, sprawling structure made from a strange grey stone, his eyes full of the same emotion I knew clouded my own eyes when I had looked at Lunarenstein. A love and a pride but also a disdain and to a certain degree, a fear.

As the light above the trees turned a deep orange and at the very edge, pink, I began to see something strange and large in the distance. I dared not ask Adrian for I did not want him to think me an idiot. I should know all about the forest, I should know every tree, every bush, every little thing. Even Adrian, though, looked at whatever it was with some apprehension. As we got closer, the outline of the unknown object became clearer and eventually I saw that it was a large gate with a fence extendeding far to either side. I looked to see if I could find the end of the fence, alas, it went on and on, seemingly forever. Adrian looked at me as we reached the gate itself. "This is supposed to keep all humans out of the forest."

"Not the other way around?" I questioned.

Adrian shrugged. "It is not the spirits, gods and creatures the world fears. It is humans with destruction in their eyes." He hesitated. "That is why many of the creatures in the forest distrust and hate the wolves. We keep the peace and we are the guardians of the spirits, but we have human hearts and human emotions. Sometimes they think we are too human to reign. Sometimes I think we are too. We have been known to use fear to keep our place. Either way, this gate was built by my ancestors in a gesture of good will to the creatures. We would stay closer to the human side if, as wolves, we could freely pass into the forest."

"Then what do I do?" My voice wavered. "What if I cannot get past?"

At this, Adrian smiled. "Do not worry. We must stop here anyway. The Keepers of the Gate also are the Keepers of all Forest Lore. We need a map. I have never traveled to the Queen's Tower and it is much farther into the forest than I have ever been." He must have seen my strained face, for he touched my shoulder. "I promise you, we will be all right." His smile was kind and wide - not the sort of smile I'd expect from a wolf. It occured to me that while Adrian looked the part of King, he truly was nothing like his father or Lourdes's father. His voice was gentle and light, his smile was easy and graceful, his manners were reserved and refined. He seemed more like the fair princes I'd read in fairytales than a wild Wolf Prince. When I remembered how he had saved me from Lourdes, though, my thoughts shifted. As a human he might be gentle and friendly but as a wolf he was wild and fierce.

The gate was ornate and snow covered and the bulk of it was set between two enormous trees. The trees looked too big to be normal and I knew that I was soon going to be entering the land of secrets and enchantments, a land where everything was possible and nothing was what it seemed. And at that moment, a crisp wind blew by my head and I turned in the direction it was coming from. On its breath I heard whispering, a strange, ethereal sound and with that whispering I thought I heard what sounded like the ticking of a clock, like my gears were turning round and round, setting me off in a direction I'd never dreamed of. Then I felt a touch on my hand and the wind died and I heard no more noises. Looking down, I saw that Adrian had taken one of my fingers with his hand. My fingers were short, stubby and awkward in his large hand with elegantly long fingers. "Did you feel that?" I found myself whispering to him.

"She is calling for you," Adrian replied, his voice low and grave.

From ahead of us, one of the trees, the one on the left, began to shake and creak. I took a step towards the wolf prince and he grabbed onto my hand harder, as if to pull me away in case it began to fall. It did not, instead, the bottom of the tree began to separate and a small crack I hadn't noticed before got larger. "What is happening?" I asked, raising in my voice over the din of the tree.

"I don't know! When I am a wolf, I simply run through the gate's bars. I have never requested passage as a human before."

Abruptly, the tree stopped moving and forest went silent. It was then, squinting my eyes, that I saw something emerging from the dark crag in the tree. A tall, strange looking thing. It looked human with its two legs and two arms, but it was much thinner and taller than both Adrian and I. It had a sharp little face with almond-shaped eyes that might be described by some as beautiful and long, cascading blonde hair that fell to its toes. Its - or maybe her - abnormaly long arms had sharp, claw looking nails and held a staff. "Adrian, Prince of Wolves," it said, with a distinctively feminine voice, "to what do I owe this pleasure?" Her voice held no malaise, however, it held no good will. Her face was blank and the sharp features betrayed no emotion. "And you come to me as a human...with another human in tow." Her eyes regarded me with the barest hint of interest and curiosity.

Adrian bowed. "I come to you, Keeper of the Gate, with a request for a map to the Queen of the Moon's Tower."

"The Queen's Tower?" Now the Keeper looked interested. "You wish to travel there? But why?"

At this, I stepped foward, letting my hand fall from Adrian's. I disliked how cold and empty my hand felt without his. I curtsied the way I'd been taught. "If I may, my name is Aurora and I come from Schloss Lunarenstein. I was told by the Liche Queen that I should go find the Moon Queen and then I was called to her by her White Bears, and I have heard her voice calling to me. I know she wishes for me to come find her, but for what reason I do not know."

The Keeper's cool eyes passed over me and then landed to the crown of white flowers atop my head. "Come in. Night is falling and you need a place to stay, yes? I can offer you shelter in return for some help. Tomorrow we shall discuss the map and your passage to the other side." With that, the Keeper disappeared back into the crag and I exhaled deeply. Adrian took a step towards me and let his eyes rest on my crown. There was a thoughtful, if not a bit haughty, look on his features.

"She will let you pass," he told me with much conviction. "She would not dare deny you while you wear that crown." My hand went to the flowers on my head and I opened my mouth to ask once and for all why they were so special, but as the words were passing up my throat, Adrian was already disappearing after the Keeper into the crag and I realized that even if I asked, he would not tell me. I followed, touching the flowers once more before entering the crag. It was strange to think I was inside a tree, but I knew this was no ordinary tree. It was quite drak in here, but I could make out the outline of stone steps, their silver faces reflected what little light was left. As I began down the steps, the tree began to shake and sway and the steps began to rumble. My feet slipped on the steps and I tumbled down, falling into Adrian's side. He put his hand up to steady me. "Are you all right?" He whispered, his lips quite near my ear.

Flushing, I righted myself. "Yes, I am fine." I could not see his face in the darkness, but I felt his hand once more on mine and my rapidly beating heart calmed knowing he was there. It felt odd wanting his comfort, it was a foreign need. I'd never truly needed anybody before now and I was sure I would have made it down the steps just fine without him. Maybe it was the fact that he knew just as little about where we were going as I did, or maybe it was just nice to know that this wasn't only my burden. We continued down the stairs as soon as the rattling stopped. We were now very much inside the tree, going down and down. The steps descended for what felt like forever until my eyes became so strained looking into the darkness that they began to water.

Finally, I saw light ahead and a large doorway. I stumbled again on the last stair, my feet awkwardly trying to go to another step that wasn't there. I once more fell against Adrian and once more flushed. Nerves fluttered through my chest and I realized what had made me so clumsy; this sickening nervousness. What if the Keeper did not let me pass? What if she did not give us a map? What if she threw us in the middle of the night into the cold forest? As I thought that, another question passed through my mind...how were we to survive all the nights in the forest? The journey to the Queen's Tower would not take a day if it took hours to get to this gate. Just as I was about to ask Adrian, we stepped into a small, brightly lit foyer with high ceilings were the Keeper stood. "I always forget how short human legs are. Come. You may help me tonight and I shall give you food and a place to sleep."

We followed her through to another arched doorway. My eyes could not take everything in at once. It smelled strange down here, a wet, cold earthy smell, but it was not bad. The walls of this cavern were the same grey stone of Adrian's castle although the walls here were carved. There were no specific murals or scenes, the stone was just carved in beautiful patterns. Looking at it made me almost sad for some reason, as if the person who had done it had so because they were lonely and longed for beauty.

"I am always being called away from the gate for some reason or another. The life of the Keeper is a busy one, I am constantly being asked to settle disputes between creatures. I am called the Judge of the Forest by many." She flashed what I knew already was a rare smile and it was not even kind. "This means I have little time to spend organizing my library. As a result, it is quite a mess. You shall put the books in order." It was not a request and I filled with dread. When we entered the library, though, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was not quite large, just tall. There were stairs and ladders climbing up the side. On the floor and a mahogany table were stacks and stacks of books. The Keeper pointed to the books on the floor. "Please put those back for me. All their titles are on the first page." She then pointed to the walls. "The books go alphabetically. This should not be so difficult for you. I shall bring you supper in a few hours."

With that, she swept away and Adrian sighed and sank down into one of the large mahogany chairs that sat out an angle from the table. "I suppose this is a good thing. I've never done this sort of work, though." His face was puckered and I gave a laugh under my breath.

"Yes, because arranging books is so difficult. I am sure you haven't had to do much of this sort of work. It is the sort of thing servants would do, wouldn't they?" I questioned.

Adrian raised an eyebrow and looked a bit offended. "And I suppose you have experience in this sort of thing? I know all about the girls at Lunarenstein. You all act as if you are so wild and powerful, but you still pinch your cheeks and learn the steps to all the dances and whatnot. I'm sure you have pleanty of silent servants who are at your beck and call." He gave me a smug look. I rolled my eyes and leaned over the table. "Ah, so you admit I'm right?"

"Of course you're right. About the fact that we pinch our cheeks and learn the steps to the dances. Or...no, you're not right. I don't do that." I shook my head. "It doesn't matter. At Lunarenstein we have a much bigger library than this and we all took turns tending to it. Of course the books had titles on their spines, however..." Suddenly, my throat closed up as I thought of the library at Lunarenstein. It was in one of the bigger rooms and it looked as if it had been there before Delphine had purchased the castle. Most of the books were old and threatening to fall apart if one was not as careful as they could be with them. The windows were stained glass and I remembered sneaking into the library at sunrise to watch the sun throw colorful patterns on the room and on my skin. I could never see the library again and I missed it horribly for a moment. I swallowed. "Either way...this is what we must do. The Keeper has asked us to arrange the books and we cannot sit around and wait for them to magically set themselves back."

Adrian flushed - he must have noticed the way my eyes had misted over. "Yes you're right. I'm sorry, I was being a spoiled Prince just then and it is not me in the slightest, I promise. I will do my best to help. It cannot be too difficult."

I smiled and began to sort the books. I looked at titles and began to make piles on the table of all the different letters and as soon as Adrian caught on, he began to do the same as well. After awhile of comfortably quiet work, the Keeper swept back in, holding a large copper tray with two large stone bowls sitting on them. We thanked our hostess and took the bowls from the copper tray. Sitting in the bowls were ornate wooden spoons. We thanked the Keeper and she left with the slightest nod. As I sat down, I looked at the stew in the bowls. Vegetables I had never seen before floated in a golden broth and chunks of a brown meat steamed with a tantalizing smell. The taste was nothing I'd experienced before, the ingredients all were soft and melted in my mouth but the flavor was exploding and wonderful. Adrian grinned as he ate. After a few minutes of ravenous eating, I looked up to my wolf companion. "Were you spoiled as a young child?" I asked him.

He seemed surprised I had spoken, but then smiled. "I suppose I was a bit of a heathen when I was younger. Well, not when I was very young, but when my mother died, I sort of became a handful. I've calmed down since then, if you couldn't tell."

I took a deep breath then. "Tell me more about Lourdes."

Adrian's brow furrowed. "We have been betrothed since infancy. I have disliked her as long as I can remember, but I know that my marriage to her is what will happen. She is in love with me. There is not much else to say." I knew I would not get much more out of him about her - at least, not right now.

"What about her father?"

"He is someone you should not concern yourself with." Adrian's tone was gruff but I detected the slightest hint of something troubling lurking just beneath the surface, as if there was something about Lourdes's father he did not like yet would not tell me about. I looked away and continued to eat. My wolf prince was a strange puzzle of a gentle nature and a bitter heart that I could not figure him out. Was he in fact like the fair haired Jorindel, gallant, brave and chivalrous? Or was he more like Lourdes and the rest of the wolves than I could imagine? Once again his words rang in my head: Do not come looking for me. It will only end in tragedy.Would this end in tragedy because we were together? Or was this different? I thought of my oath to protect him and then I vowed to think no more. I set the now empty bowl aside and continued to work. Adrian soon followed.

After some time, he touched my hand and I looked up at his sad, beautiful face. He smiled at me and I returned it, knowing that this was his way of apologizing. We went back to work again and now our silence was much less awkward.

We finished sorting all the books and began to put them away and by the time we were finished, my eyelids were drooping and my shoulders, especially my wound, were sore from picking up so many heavy books. The Keeper came back just as we finished and nodded. "Come with me," she said and like obedient little children, we followed. She led us into a small room with a brightly burning fire and a bed big enough for two. One one of the walls was a small wooden door. I flushed. "The washroom is through that door. I apologize, I only have one bedroom here, I do not have guests often and guests who need sleep is quite rare. However, I hope you will be comfortable. If during the middle of the night you find yourself needing something, I shall be in the library." With that, she left. Adrian and I stood awkward in the middle of the room.

"You can sleep on the bed, I will be fine on the floor," the Prince told me.

I shook my head defiantly. "I am not some fragile princess. I can sleep on a floor just fine."

"I don't think you're a fragile princess," Adrian responded, a smile playing at the edge of his lips, "I'm simply being kind."

"Well stop," I snapped and then softened. I knew my anger was because I was nervous, but I knew no reason why I should be nervous. He was betrothed. He was one of the wolves. And he did not see me in that light. "I'm sure we are both mature enough to share the bed. I see no reason why either of us should be subjected to laying on the stone floor." Adrian looked at me curiously. "I don't want to sleep on the floor, you don't want to sleep on the floor. It's not as if we are," my throat hitched, "lovers," I spat out, my cheeks flushing.

"As you wish," Adrian replied, his eyes full of amusement. "However, I'll let you use the washroom first."

"Thank you." My voice was stiff. We both tidied ourselves up and I changed into the long nightshirt I'd worn when I'd stayed at Adrian's palace. My shoulder wound was still angry and red, but at least it had begun to scab. I would be able to take the bandages off soon, but for now I just rubbed it with the salve and rebandaged it. Adrian's eyes rested on the red-stained shirt when I came out of the washroom but he said nothing. I did not know why I felt the need to continue to wear this dirty shirt but I felt a sort of connection to it, as if it were my last remaining link to my past world. I crawled into the bed and scooted myself over as far as I could to the wall and closed my eyes. I didn't open them until I felt the mattress shift again. The fire still burned bright enough to see each other clearly.

"I have this dream," Adrian said, his voice a bit hoarse. "I'm standing in front of a mirror and the mirror is reflecting everything I hate about myself. The fact that someday I will marry Lourdes, the responsibility of being King, the needs of the forest creatures, my father's disappointment in me and most of all, my loneliness. And for a moment it seems as if all those things will consume me, like I will be overcome by them. And then, all of a sudden, my hand flies to the glass and I break it, but the shards look less like pieces of glass and more like drops of water, or maybe tears..." he sighed. "Sometimes when I wake up I feel powerful, like someday I will be one of the great king's my father speaks about...other times I wake feeling even lonelier than my mirror reflected. All I know is that I've had it every night for quite sometime. I didn't have it the night I first met you. I didn't have it the nights you stayed in the castle. And I don't know why, but I think I should be thanking you."

I took a deep breath. "You're welcome," I said when I could trust my voice. I turned my head in the slightest to look at him and his eyes were fathomless and full of such sadness that I wished to cry. And it was then that I realized that even though I'd said we were not lovers...I wished we were. More than anything I wished we were.
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The banner was done by theavalanche who is certifiably amazing.
You should read her stuff. She has a Jacob Black story that makes SMeyer's writing look like more shit than it already is, if that's even possible.