A Beast in Repose
One Little Pervert
Mikey's POV
I walked out of the elevator feeling the guilt eating away my heart.
Heavy steps, thats how they felt...
My mind was full with horrible and desireble memories.
Guilty was eating my conscience, and well, I couldn't ask for any less...
I mean, it's not normal for anyone to let your brother's boyfriend SUCKS you off before a show and then suck him off, right?
I still can't believe it, I can't belive what I did.
I can't believe what he did.
It was so strange, so weird... so fucking hot...
I didn't want to... I-I didn't...
Oh god... I can't breath... I need some air...
Okay, I did want it to on the moment. It's just... It's not fucking right! I don't even LIKE Frank.... he just found me horny and... Well... what else could I do? He really knows how to please a man, you know? I now know why Gerard chose him as his boyfriend...
Again, guilt is destroying my mind, piece by piece.
Completly destryoing it. I can't take of my mind the 'orgasm face' Frank gave me when he finally reached his climax, his eyes, his mouth, the moan that escaped his pretty lips.
God, the taste of him in my mouth... It was incredible.
The last kiss he gave me before getting on stage, the look on his eyes, the satisfaction on his grin.
I can't forget all the pleassure he made me feel... All the moans that escape from my lips the second he put his tongue on me.
The orgasm I had. I have no idea how I'm gonna forget all that...
It's not easy to forget your first blowjob in years, alright?
Should I tell Gerard?
I don't know, I shouldn't.
He's gonna hate me for sure. I know he's gonna hate me forever. And I couldn't stand that...
How am I supposed to tell him this?
It's not like saying 'Hi Gerard, I suck you boyfriend before getting on stage. I hope you don't hate me. Ah, yeah, I forgot to tell you he sucked me off too...'
Yeah right, it's not that easy...
My steps guided me to Gerard's hotel room. I left Ray and Bob on the cafeteria talking about the next show, arguing with Brian about the place we were staying tomorrow.
I don't know how much time I stood there, just looking at the door. Thinking on what was I supposed to say.
What part can I just miss about the whole situation that happened a while ago? Nothing I guess, maybe the part "I enjoyed it so fucking much" or "that was the BEST orgasm I had in years".
I can't... I can't... I can't... I can't tell him anything...
I can't let my brother feel hate for me. He means to much for me.
I can't breath again...
I love him to much... I-I... I won't be able to stand it. I won't be able to carry all the pain and the guilt...
I can't... I can't tell him I enjoyed the whole situation. I can't tell him I liked what Frankie did to me, and what I did to him! I can't! He doesn't even know I like GUYS!
I can't even tell him that I was thinking about HIM when Frank put me on his mouth...
I can't.
What a sick fuck I became, and Gerard hasn't found out yet...
I'll just tell him Frankie made me do it. Yes! I'll do that! It’s kind of true tho, Frankie made me suck him off, 'cause he started teasing me... He's such a fucking tease, he has always been.
My hand was about to knock on the door when a scream stopped all my actions.
What the hell was going on in there?
"I SAW YOU FRANKIE!" I heard clearly when I put my ear on the door. "Does my brother sucks you better than me?" I fucking froze when I heard Gerard screaming that out loud. Did he saw us? Oh my god, did he saw me sucking Frank's cock?!
I terrify and moved my ear away from the door. I didn't move, not even an inch, I was terrified. I didn't know what to do or what to say.
I didn't even know what I was going to do now that I knew Gee knew what happened between me and his boyfriend... Oh my god, I don't even understand what the hell I’m thinking...
Is Gerard with Frankie in there? What are they doing? Why Gerard is screaming like that? I haven't heard him scream like that since... since he used to drink 'till pass out. Since he used to do drugs...
I heard another scream and something hitting against the wall of the room. Okay, I gotta get in; I have to know what the fuck is going on in there...
I opened the door slowly knowing that it was unlocked, my steps were slightly and I tried to make no sound. Begging that Gee didn't hear any of my moves.
My eyes wide open stared at one angry and drunk Gerard taking Frank's pants off. His face scared the shit out me.
Both were on the bed and I couldn't help my breath to turn into a gasping.
I haven't seen Gee like this in ages. I haven't seen those eyes in years.
I haven't felt like this in three years looking at Gerard. I haven't feel a hard on like this since he stop drinking...
The shame and the arousal surrounded my body, and I felt the hardness between my pants.
My eyes didn't stop looking when my big brother turned Frank's body upside down on the bed positioning himself behind him.
A pant escape from my lips again when Gee entered on his boyfriend entrance, and started thrusting inside and outside roughly making poor Frank scream in pain.
Without my consent both of my hands traveled trough my body on a slow pase and ended up on my crotch, rubbing slightly the jeans cloth.
A silent moan came out of my mouth while I was watching my big and strong brother taking his boyfriend's body rough. No kisses, no hugs, no love words. Gerard was rapping Frank and I was enjoy the whole situation.
On my mind I was only wishing he didn't hear me at all.
On my mind I was only wishing he didn't even notice my presence.
On my mind I was only wishing that was ME instead of Frank.
"Gerard..." I moaned his name in a whisper, and I stopped what I was doing right away blushing madly.
My brother stopped fucking Frank and stood up looking at me with disbelief.
"I didn't know you liked to watch Mikey... You're one little pervert, aren't you?" he said before looking straight to my eyes smiling like I’ve never seen before. A smile that scared me, that terrified me, he wasn’t Gerard… he wasn’t my brother at all… this was someone else that replaced him!
With terror in my face I paralyzed, I felt some tears coming down my ashamed face and before I knew it I was running out of the room before Gerard or even poor Frank could say anything else.
I walked out of the elevator feeling the guilt eating away my heart.
Heavy steps, thats how they felt...
My mind was full with horrible and desireble memories.
Guilty was eating my conscience, and well, I couldn't ask for any less...
I mean, it's not normal for anyone to let your brother's boyfriend SUCKS you off before a show and then suck him off, right?
I still can't believe it, I can't belive what I did.
I can't believe what he did.
It was so strange, so weird... so fucking hot...
I didn't want to... I-I didn't...
Oh god... I can't breath... I need some air...
Okay, I did want it to on the moment. It's just... It's not fucking right! I don't even LIKE Frank.... he just found me horny and... Well... what else could I do? He really knows how to please a man, you know? I now know why Gerard chose him as his boyfriend...
Again, guilt is destroying my mind, piece by piece.
Completly destryoing it. I can't take of my mind the 'orgasm face' Frank gave me when he finally reached his climax, his eyes, his mouth, the moan that escaped his pretty lips.
God, the taste of him in my mouth... It was incredible.
The last kiss he gave me before getting on stage, the look on his eyes, the satisfaction on his grin.
I can't forget all the pleassure he made me feel... All the moans that escape from my lips the second he put his tongue on me.
The orgasm I had. I have no idea how I'm gonna forget all that...
It's not easy to forget your first blowjob in years, alright?
Should I tell Gerard?
I don't know, I shouldn't.
He's gonna hate me for sure. I know he's gonna hate me forever. And I couldn't stand that...
How am I supposed to tell him this?
It's not like saying 'Hi Gerard, I suck you boyfriend before getting on stage. I hope you don't hate me. Ah, yeah, I forgot to tell you he sucked me off too...'
Yeah right, it's not that easy...
My steps guided me to Gerard's hotel room. I left Ray and Bob on the cafeteria talking about the next show, arguing with Brian about the place we were staying tomorrow.
I don't know how much time I stood there, just looking at the door. Thinking on what was I supposed to say.
What part can I just miss about the whole situation that happened a while ago? Nothing I guess, maybe the part "I enjoyed it so fucking much" or "that was the BEST orgasm I had in years".
I can't... I can't... I can't... I can't tell him anything...
I can't let my brother feel hate for me. He means to much for me.
I can't breath again...
I love him to much... I-I... I won't be able to stand it. I won't be able to carry all the pain and the guilt...
I can't... I can't tell him I enjoyed the whole situation. I can't tell him I liked what Frankie did to me, and what I did to him! I can't! He doesn't even know I like GUYS!
I can't even tell him that I was thinking about HIM when Frank put me on his mouth...
I can't.
What a sick fuck I became, and Gerard hasn't found out yet...
I'll just tell him Frankie made me do it. Yes! I'll do that! It’s kind of true tho, Frankie made me suck him off, 'cause he started teasing me... He's such a fucking tease, he has always been.
My hand was about to knock on the door when a scream stopped all my actions.
What the hell was going on in there?
"I SAW YOU FRANKIE!" I heard clearly when I put my ear on the door. "Does my brother sucks you better than me?" I fucking froze when I heard Gerard screaming that out loud. Did he saw us? Oh my god, did he saw me sucking Frank's cock?!
I terrify and moved my ear away from the door. I didn't move, not even an inch, I was terrified. I didn't know what to do or what to say.
I didn't even know what I was going to do now that I knew Gee knew what happened between me and his boyfriend... Oh my god, I don't even understand what the hell I’m thinking...
Is Gerard with Frankie in there? What are they doing? Why Gerard is screaming like that? I haven't heard him scream like that since... since he used to drink 'till pass out. Since he used to do drugs...
I heard another scream and something hitting against the wall of the room. Okay, I gotta get in; I have to know what the fuck is going on in there...
I opened the door slowly knowing that it was unlocked, my steps were slightly and I tried to make no sound. Begging that Gee didn't hear any of my moves.
My eyes wide open stared at one angry and drunk Gerard taking Frank's pants off. His face scared the shit out me.
Both were on the bed and I couldn't help my breath to turn into a gasping.
I haven't seen Gee like this in ages. I haven't seen those eyes in years.
I haven't felt like this in three years looking at Gerard. I haven't feel a hard on like this since he stop drinking...
The shame and the arousal surrounded my body, and I felt the hardness between my pants.
My eyes didn't stop looking when my big brother turned Frank's body upside down on the bed positioning himself behind him.
A pant escape from my lips again when Gee entered on his boyfriend entrance, and started thrusting inside and outside roughly making poor Frank scream in pain.
Without my consent both of my hands traveled trough my body on a slow pase and ended up on my crotch, rubbing slightly the jeans cloth.
A silent moan came out of my mouth while I was watching my big and strong brother taking his boyfriend's body rough. No kisses, no hugs, no love words. Gerard was rapping Frank and I was enjoy the whole situation.
On my mind I was only wishing he didn't hear me at all.
On my mind I was only wishing he didn't even notice my presence.
On my mind I was only wishing that was ME instead of Frank.
"Gerard..." I moaned his name in a whisper, and I stopped what I was doing right away blushing madly.
My brother stopped fucking Frank and stood up looking at me with disbelief.
"I didn't know you liked to watch Mikey... You're one little pervert, aren't you?" he said before looking straight to my eyes smiling like I’ve never seen before. A smile that scared me, that terrified me, he wasn’t Gerard… he wasn’t my brother at all… this was someone else that replaced him!
With terror in my face I paralyzed, I felt some tears coming down my ashamed face and before I knew it I was running out of the room before Gerard or even poor Frank could say anything else.