A Beast in Repose

Frank's POV

Mikey’s moans were still on my mind when I went down to the lobby of the hotel.
I couldn’t believe what I did just a few moments ago.
I couldn’t believe I had sex with my best friend. With my boyfriend’s brother.

I’m a whore.
There’s no other explanation for what happened in our hotel room.
I’m a filthy whore.
Gerard was so right about that.

No matter how much I love Gerard, I still have desires for other people. Because it doesn’t matter if it’s not him, if that unknown person makes me feel like no other, I’ll sleep with him. It doesn’t matter I’m not in love, I can’t be. I love Gerard.

Mikey didn’t want me though, he wanted Gerard.
Sick as it sounds, it wasn’t my body what he needed. But he accepted it anyways, maybe because he just needed to feel somebody else’s skin.
He was desperate, I could see it in his eyes.
How many nights did he spend alone hearing Gerard and me on the other room? Touching himself along with our moans?
How many nights he wished it was him instead of me right next to his brother?

As sick as it sounds, I don’t care.
I like Mikey, a lot. I like how he smiles and I like the way he speaks.
I love when he gets nervous or the face he shows when he’s about to cum.
I like him, and I don’t regret what we did. I just… I can’t believe we did it.

I walked a few steps looking for the hotel's cafeteria. Mikey asked me to get some coffee, and well... I just obeyed.
I didn’t even shower; I dressed up and went down scared of facing Gerard, I smelled like sex. I smelled like the cheap whore I was.

Gerard wasn’t on the cafeteria, and I saw Ray and Bob still talking to our manager on one of the tables.
Gee must be still sleeping, maybe he won’t wake up in hours. How many things did he drink? How many pills swallowed or white powder snored?
I should be worry, but I’m not.
He did this to himself, even if it’s my fault. He went to get cocaine somewhere and put it on his nose. I didn’t make him.

Ray saw me and waved his hand at me telling me to go over there.
“Hey, where have you been?” he asked while I sat next to Brian, facing him.

“Sleeping,” I answered, not wanting to tell the guys the truth. How was I supposed to explain that Gerard was sleeping on his room full with alcohol and drugs on his veins?

“Where’s Mikey?” Bob asked, finally paying attention to the fact that I was sitting there.

“In our room, sleeping.” I answered again sighing. Ah yeah, I forgot to mention that he’s sleeping naked and sexy between the sheets of MY bed.

“He went to check on you and Gerard like an hour ago, are you sure he’s okay? He seemed a bit sad a moment ago.” Ray looked at me, trying to read my eyes and my expression.

“He’s fine.” He’s perfectly fine, waiting for me to come back with the coffee and I’m sure he’s ready for a second round. I grinned widely with that thought and Ray looked at me strange.

“Anyways, I just came down for coffee. Mikey asked me to get him some too, so I’ll leave you guys here.” I smiled and standing up.

“Sure, just remember we leave tomorrow early.” Brian, our manager, said. “You have twelve concerts on schedule and we can’t miss any.” I sighed heavily, I didn’t want to play. I wanted to stay here forever. Here, right next to Mikey.

“Okay,” I smiled taking two cups of hot coffee on my hands. “See you guys later.” I walked outside the cafeteria carefully. I didn’t want to burn myself with hot coffee and I’m sure Mikey would yell at me for not bringing him a full cup instead of worrying about my burns.
That kid is completely crazy about caffeine, just like his brother.

Pushing the elevator button, I waited for it to come, smiling to myself. I could worry about Gerard’s condition when we left the hotel. All I wanted to do now was being with Mikey, and well… being HIS Gerard.
He accepted me to replace that anguish in his heart.
I’ll make him feel better.

When the elevator doors opened my surprise couldn’t be major.
Gerard stepped outside, not looking at me, walking straight to the hotel cafeteria.
He looked normal, with a hangover, but sober.

“Gee…” I whispered, but he never turned around, he just kept going.
I felt a terrible pain on my stomach while I entered the elevator. But this was no ordinary pain, this was the guilty eaten up my insides completely

When the elevator doors finally opened in my floor, I walked to my room.
The door was open slightly.
I stepped inside and I saw Mikey still lying on the bed, naked and crying.
And then it hit me…

Gerard what did you do?