Phrases Left On Paper

I whined a lot these days, which I couldn't ever fully find reason in. At the age of twenty-one, I certainly should be over things like that. Especially since they didn't work to get me out of why I was doing it in the first place. When your best friend was Hadley Shannon Parsons, you really couldn't get out of anything she planned for the two of you. She was very persistent, getting even more so over the three years we had lived together in New York City.

That didn't stop me from trying. Ever. Her plans were ridiculous and far-fetched. I liked to think that that part of her brain had also intensified in the time we'd been here. She didn't enjoy when I voiced these thoughts. I'd usually end up on the floor of any room in our apartment. She thought she was genius for most everything. That was a very biased opinion.

Even through her swollen ego and imagination, I still loved that we hadn't stopped being friends. My mother had always insisted, "Don't move in with your friends when you get older." She claimed that it could lead to nothing but fighting and an imminent "break up." Besides Hadley, I had never had any other friends close enough that I really had to worry. And with Hadley, we had spent so long not seeing each other that this arrangement was actually perfect. Until we were led back to her brain chock full of ideas.

If it wasn't every other day, it was at least every other weekend she had something in mind. After all this time, and I still despised going out to parties here or -now that we were old enough- bars. Drinking wasn't always high up on my list, just like it hadn't been before senior year of high school. She may go out to look for someone -whether for the night or for months, I didn't want to think about- but I wasn't.

And I thought I had gotten lucky this weekend, and maybe the rest of forever. By Sunday, Hadley hadn't said a work about dragging me out. After breakfast, I settled into my bed, the TV on Roseanne but turned down and my laptop propped up on a pillow. This was my schedule and my distraction all in one room, one building. That was when she burst in and my usual whining began. An hour of this with me still under the sheets.

"Get dressed," Hadley demanded. Whatever number this was, I had lost count. She had my closet open and began thumbing through shirts and dresses again.

"Why?" I asked again. This day's plan was so much more illogical than any others had been. It just wasn't something that normal people really thought of. "What about Daniel?" I questioned then. A new tactic. I was so sure it was foolproof.

Hadley chuckled sarcastically, shaking her head. She didn't face me again to give me her rebuff. "Silly, silly girl. You're so desperate for a way out that you're overlooking what you obviously know," she told me. Now she spun around and threw a shirt at me. "My mom's in town, remember? She volunteered to watch him, happily."

I could have hit myself. Of course I knew her mom was here. I should have rethought my tactic before mentioning it.

I ignored the shirt she was expecting me to put on. I went the short distance to the dresser to pull out a pair of jeans and grabbed a tank top to pull a hoodie over. Hadley glared at me. "This is not something I care if I look good for," I told her, glaring back.

"Don't you want GaGa or Katy Perry to see how fabulous you can look?" she questioned. She honestly thought that would work.

"Not when I'm dressed by you." I pushed her from my room. A sigh filled the space and I was surprised to realize it was from me. I pulled my clothes on after that, still not fully understanding why I had to get ready now. Her way of thinking would probably always be a mystery to me. On my way out the door, I grabbed a hoodie hanging on the end of the bed. "Please tell me we're not leaving right now," I begged when I met Hadley again in the living room.

She took her eyes from the small boy in her lap for only a moment. "In an hour or so," she answered, a smile still spread across her face at him.

I groaned and plopped myself down beside them. The smile that came from me seconds later was easy though. They loved each other so much. I would never get over how much Daniel looked like his mother, my best friend. Then again, it was still hard to drill into my mind that Hadley was a mom to a toddler. Until he woke me up mornings with some sticky substance in his hand that was every color of exciting to him. And even though he definitely wasn't my child and Hadley had made it clear I didn't have to help her when I couldn't, he was still my life as much as hers. I could play with him for hours and never tire. Children were never my thing, but Daniel was able to hold my interest when nothing else could.

How he came to be seemed to be a long story to me. But it could be summarized so easily if I really thought about it. Hadley's and Zack's relationship didn't last through us being in New York, just like mine hadn't. Two months of being up here, they had completely cut ties with each other without intention. Hadley had been depressed over it though she had been part of the cause. One night, she went out with a kid from her psychology class and -where it could be shortened- Daniel was in our lives nine months later. Hadley still saw that random kid every once in a while on campus, and was still working on how to tell him. After these two years, I was ready to do it for her.

I blinked to bring myself fully back to the present. My focus was back on the woman and little boy next to me. The smile stretched across my facial features again. I reached my hands out, silently asking for Daniel and Hadley obliged before standing. Daniel was immediately telling me a story in the gibberish he preferred over English. I nodded my head in acknowledgement appropriately while I looked up to my best friend.

"I have a paper to write," I told her, watching her dig through school books on the dining room table.

She shot me a smug look. "Don't give me that," she demanded. "That's due Wednesday, and you already have three-quarters of it done."

Internally, I grumbled. On any other day, I could have thought of something so much better than what I was throwing out. It clearly just had to do with what we were doing today. I at least hoped that we were coming right home afterward. The line was being drawn there.

I lounged on the couch with Daniel in my lap while Hadley flitted around the apartment. Doing this for the rest of the day would have been fine with me. It was just after one o'clock. I could have my paper finished for the week and be able to sit in this exact spot to watch what I was being forced to see in person. And I was sure that this wouldn't be the last year that she thought this would be a great idea.

I was barely paying attention when the buzz filled the room. Hadley skipped to the door to press the button to let her mom up and went back to what she had been doing. I watched her a little more closely now. She was writing something, taking her time to use her pretty handwriting. Obviously, it wasn't something for any of her classes. As I leaned forward, shifting Daniel to one knee, to see what words were being formed, I was interrupted by the locks clicking out of place and the door opening.

Her eyes found the child still babbling away on my lap automatically. "There's my grandson!" Hadley's mother exclaimed, and she came forward to scoop him up.

I smiled lightly as she greeted her daughter and I. Hadley kissed her on the cheek, explaining again where we would be. She conveniently left out when we would be back. She kissed Daniel's forehead then and smoothed his hair to which he addressed her with, "Mama!" Each of us giggled at him before Hadley grabbed my hand and plucked me from my comfortable position.

We were out of the building in record time, me being dragged by the pseudo-Olympic runner. We continued down the sidewalk in the warm September day. I felt as if summer had gone too fast and this just proved it more as I basked in the sun following us. It was already starting to chill some in this early afternoon. In the back of my mind, I worried about my outfit. It wasn't enough to bring it to the surface.

"We can't be heading over there already," I said as we passed our favorite coffee shop. We still had a few blocks to go.

Hadley shook her head, turning back abruptly and taking me with her to enter the shop. "We deserve a day out," she responded as we got in line. "You do, at the very least," she pondered aloud.

I crossed my arms, not saying anything. She was right about that. I rarely fought to leave the apartment, only to stay in it when she wanted to go out. Willingly, I left for class, work, and to take Daniel to the park when Hadley was at the two former. Once again in my life, a social life wasn't very high up on any list of mine.

After we had our usual drinks in hand, Hadley led me through the streets. I bitched and moaned some more, trying a few more excuses. The best I came up with was only, "We won't be home in time to watch them all." She just scoffed and replied, "It's MTV. They'll be on six times, just tonight."

It was very likely that I could kill someone tonight. A thousand fans to a ton of celebrities would be surrounding us. Devoted people who would likely die with the proximity they were being given. The two of us were going for the fun of it. And the more I thought about it, I realized that I couldn't deny that it was probably going to be fun, to some extent.

Hadley had pointed out how Lady GaGa would be there and how I'd likely pee myself over that. I rolled my eyes, acting as if I didn't believe that. Honestly though, who could really say what would happen at that moment in time. Beside the novelty of watching some famous singers and actors walking the cheap red carpet though, I couldn't think much of what would be exciting about it. So really, me committing a murder could be a highlight of the evening.

By seven o'clock we were slowly making our way to our destination. Our arms were linked as we sipped on our replenished coffee. I hadn't thought about how we would get through tight security, or how we could keep from getting arrested. Hadley had though, since this was all her concoction.

All the lights blinded me, fancy cars and limousines pulling up in front of one spot. We were across the street, among a hundred others. Hadley pushed her way, pulling me behind, to the front of this crowd and stopped in front of the velvet rope that kept us from going any farther to the Video Music Awards.

I hadn't expected for excitement to hit me and, for the most part, I wasn't knocked on my feet by it. It was something different. To watch everything firsthand that I normally lazily saw through a television screen gave me a feeling I really couldn't explain. My stomach was twisted in my abdomen while I watched press interview and cameras flash. The distance that separated the two of us from all of this seemed nonexistent.

It was there to my best friend, though.

"Let's get closer," Hadley said loud enough for me to hear.

I turned to her, my eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Surely, we wouldn't be able to go any farther if we wanted to stay out of a cell tonight.

She rolled her eyes at me and pointed behind me. There was a guy coming toward us, his eyes on Hadley. "I know him. He's gonna let us up there with the luckier fans," she told me with a wink.

I just sighed while we were led across the street. The basics had been more than enough wonderment for me.

There was still a wide berth between the two of us and who was being forbidden to touch. The screaming was worse here, almost deafening. Hadley was still in her full hysteria mode. I leaned against her, letting a few yawns take control. I tried very hard to ignore her nudging me at every celebrity that passed. But it got more intense after a few minutes, not stopping though the only person in front of us was security.

I stood straight again, looking the direction she was focused. There was another wave of people coming up the carpet, but somehow I knew that there were certain ones Hadley was really paying attention to. Four boys stood out from the others, wearing casual clothes hinting at formal. The shortest and tallest had on button up shirts and ties. The second tallest wore a hat to top off a white v-neck and a gray vest. The very last had a fedora on, a leather jacket decorated with white stripes covered his torso, and a white scarf hung loosely around his neck, tucked under the collar of his shirt. Each of them had variations of jeans and sneakers on their lower halves.

They stopped appropriately to answer questions and take pictures. Their paces were slow and I was able to study them thoroughly.

They were right in front of Hadley and I when it clicked. Hadley had already figured it out. I felt my eyes bulge as I croaked out, "Alex?"