Phrases Left On Paper

"So you're coming to get us, right?" Alex asked, sounding slightly distracted. I wouldn't doubt that he was watching one of the other boys doing something ridiculous.

I took advantage of it. "No, I was planning on leaving you at the airport and fend for yourself as you walk through the city, looking for a ride," I replied, picking at my fingernails as I waited for his reaction.

He let out one soft chuckle. "You're such a bitch," he accused, fully focused on me now.

"And you're an asshole. We both win," I stated, unable to stop the smirk from appearing on my lips. As I lie there on the couch, phone pressed between my shoulder and ear, I realized I still had my shoes on from work and promptly pushed them off with the other foot to free my toes.

He laughed again, one that I could visualize over the distance. "I am. At least we see eye-to-eye," he responded. "I love you. I'll see you in a while."

"Love you," I smiled before hanging up the phone.

I pushed the phone onto the coffee table, still finding it weird that I had one after so long with no living room furniture. I settled into the couch, pushing into the cushions to get comfortable. My day had been long, waking way too early because I was so anxious and then going to work hours later. A nap sounded good, but I was still too excited. It was only a little while until the boys were home again and I would be able to see them. So sleep would be just as impossible as it had been this morning. I would just have to stick it out until I had gotten enough of a fill.

The past days had gone by quickly, much like I had foreseen. Most of those days were spent with Hadley, much like all my days had been for years. Her mood had improved since the park and she never even hinted that she had been worried about anything in the first place. I was trying to soak this up, take in her chipper spirit. The big announcement that was keeping Marshall from her in the present was bound to happen before the fall hit. But I knew that wouldn't keep me from seeing her. It was something that I was planning for myself that would cause that. I forced myself not to worry about that right now. Nothing was even set in stone yet, because the idea hadn't left the inner workings of my brain for anyone else to know. That was how most of my great plans worked.

Pushing myself up from the couch, I made my way to my room. There was no use in thinking about that now when I needed a certain boy here to speak with about it. Plus, sleep was becoming more and more of an inevitable thing as I lay there. I got changed, completely forgetting about looking good for the boyfriend I was going to see soon. I instead opted for one of his flannel shirts I had stolen while he was gone and a pair of leggings before heading back out to the kitchen to waste some more time. Once it was a suitable time to head to the airport, I jumped up from the table and left my half-eaten sandwich behind.

I still had some waiting around to do when I got there. My eyes alternated what they were staring at, checking the time on my phone repeatedly and scanning the crowd in front of me. The moment I spotted one of the boys, I was off, weaving in between people so I could find Alex and throw my arms around him. With a smile, he dropped the one bag he had in his hand to put his own arms around me and picked me up off the ground.

He chuckled. "I'm slightly drunk. But I missed you so much," he whispered against my lips before pressing his own against them completely.

He was right, he was drunk. I could taste the alcohol on his lips. I wasn't angry, because there was no reason to be. I just let my smile grow at getting to kiss him and licked my lips when I pulled away as he let me down. "I missed you," I told him, taking his hand and leading him through the people as I walked backwards. I thought about pointing out that it hadn't been that long since we had seen each other. But I knew that he would find a way to argue that that visit had been too short and I didn't want to waste the time we could be kissing with friendly arguments.

"You're gonna crash into someone," he said, pulling me around as we continued to walk and wrapped his arms around my waist. He didn't try to stop, which was both a bad and good idea.

"This isn't going to work out well with your drunk legs," I told him, already imagining us falling in the middle of everyone here. He scoffed at this realization, but moved to my side and took just one of my hands, lacing our fingers. I turned my head a bit to see Zack and Matt behind me, obviously just as wasted as Alex. "Merrick!" I yelled, knowing he'd get startled. I giggled when he jumped and finally set his eyes on me. I held my other hand out behind me, smiling when he took to my other side. "It's nice to see you in Maryland."

He shot a smile at me. "Only for the night," he informed me, his tone never changing to clash with his expression. I knew from experience that it was nearly impossible to rid him of a smile when he was even slightly intoxicated.

I, on the other hand, refused to stop the pout that appeared on my own face. But I didn't have much time to dwell on it. He was pushed aside by Jack, who demanded that I listen to each of his stories about their night at the VMAs. At hearing the reminder of where they were, my heart jumped.

Alex squeezed my hand, seeming to notice the tension that ran through my body before I was even aware it was there. He took advantage of the fact that we were forced to stop, letting the others go out the doors ahead of us, and moved in close to me so Jack wouldn't notice my distraction. "It's been a year," he whispered, his lips brushing my ear.

This had been my exact thought, what had sent me into this weird feeling. I nodded, "It's been a year." One year since they had found their way back into my life. Since I could no longer force myself to hate them for who they were. Since the love I had always had for Alex was ignited again, causing all of this. I turned my head so I was face-to-face with him. "A long, eventful year," I said. And with a smirk, he leaned in to kiss me again.

"You're not listening!" Jack exclaimed behind me and walked out the door as he threw his hands up and shook his head.

I chuckled as I watched him go before turning back to Alex. He leaned his forehead against mine with a soft smile, looking me in the eye. "Let's go home," he suggested, pressing his lips to my forehead. He took my hand when I nodded in agreement and led us outside, way behind everyone else.

We didn't all stick together very long. They all had their own rides, their own loved ones to get back to and were probably too tired to even do that. We exchanged a few words in the parking lot, welcoming them home and promises to all see each other tomorrow. I wouldn't admit it aloud, but I was happy it was only Alex, Rian and I, and I would be even happier to fall into Alex's bed when we got home. I was finally content enough to accept sleep. The moment we walked into the house, my eyelids got heavy and I was saying goodnight to Rian before either of them could say anything.

Once again, I searched Alex's drawers for something to change into as he pushed his bags into the corner to deal with in the morning. For once, it was just the two of us doing whatever normal couples did to get ready for bed. It was something I couldn't say I liked exactly. I was pleased when I could be reminded that we weren't actually ordinary when I crawled into the bed next to him. His arm circled around me as I cuddled into him, burying my face in his chest. These were such automatic actions that it almost didn't seem like it was the first time we were able to enjoy it in months.

"Are you wearing my underwear as pajamas?" he questioned after we had been settled and silent for a few minutes. He was obviously amused by this observation.

I pulled my face away from him reluctantly, looking down to remind myself of what I had put on. "I apparently am," I replied, both surprised I had forgotten my choice and humored by the choice itself. "I'm not limited to your shirts anymore," I told him, lying my head back down with a giggle.

Alex kissed the top of my head, running his fingers through the ends of my hair when he pulled away. "I like it. Maybe now you'll try to get in my pants," he joked, and I knew that he winked to complete it. It was silent once more, allowing the both of us the time to drift off. "Clarke," he said lowly when I was close to sleep. Without speaking, I nodded my head once against his side to let him know I was listening. "Can I have a kiss?" he wondered.

I couldn't keep the corners of my lips from moving up. If I smiled too much when I was with this boy, then that was just too damn bad for everyone else. I lifted my head again, finding his waiting and eager lips with my own. His fingers tangled in my hair, locking me there and my arms slid around his neck. I was glad he had asked for this. My sudden desire for sleep had made me forget how much I needed a kiss just as much as he did.

When we broke apart several minutes later, the smirk I loved so much was on his lips. After one more quick kiss, he moved down on the bed a few inches. His nose nuzzled my neck before he let his head rest on my shoulder so now he was the one hidden. "Now I can go to sleep," he stated, his breath warm on my neck.

My hand found its way to the back of his head, running my fingers through his hair. It paused there, holding him in place as the two of us finally got to fall asleep.

________________________________________________

It seemed as if waking up was no longer supposed to be a simply likable thing for me to do. Not something to remind me that I got to, once again, face a new day. I was supposed to hate it. Or at least, the way my best friend called me so many times within such a small amount of time made me feel that way. I didn't hear my phone the first few times as it rang away on top of the television, being too deeply asleep. The next few times, I ignored it because it had been what woke me up. Eventually, I knew that it would wake Alex, too, and I didn't want him to have to get up when he didn't need to. I rolled out of the bed, shuffling over to answer the millionth call.

"Why do you insist on calling so early?" I demanded, moving into the bathroom so I didn't have to whisper. With a groan, I fell on the closed toilet to hear just what made her so persistent.

"It's like noon," Hadley replied, sounding a bit baffled. Her statement made me pull my phone away from my ear to look at the time. I grunted when I saw that she was right and told her to continue. "Well, I guess I should apologize. I forgot the guys got home last night. Alex probably had you up all night." A roll of my eyes. "But I seriously cannot keep this from my best friend for another minute. Marshall took me on this weird breakfast picnic this morning. I was so confused at first. But…" she trailed off, trying to create suspense. She had no idea that I already knew what she was going to say. "I am now engaged to be married!" she yelled excitedly.

Just because I already knew, didn't stop the impact of the words from getting me even more excited. "Hadley!" I squealed.

Together, we gushed about this big news and I made her tell me every detail of how he asked. I admitted that I had known about it the whole time because I finally could, and she scolded me for not filling her in. It didn't last but a few seconds. She was too happy, too immersed in the fact that Marshall really did love her the way I had promised. She left me with a few more words that were too fast to understand and making a date for Alex and I to join her and Marshall for dinner, and I told her to hug Daniel for me. With a smile on my face, I made my way back out to the room and climbed back in the bed.

"What'd Hadley want?" Alex asked the moment my head was settled on the pillow. I faced him, my expression questioning. "You only squeal when you speak to one person," he pointed out.

"I guess we have plans to go to a celebratory engagement dinner tonight," I told him, not even trying to hide the fact that he was right or argue that I didn't squeal. I slid closer to him, liking that he was awake so we could cuddle.

"Marshall finally asked her?" he questioned. I had been telling him the whole story while he was away. He smoothed my bangs back from my forehead. Softly, his lips pressed to my skin, sending shivers down my spine.

I nodded, curling up against him as he lay on his side. "It took a lot, keeping that secret. But we don't have to go tonight, if you don't want to," I assured him, figuring there would be something he would rather do.

"No, we should. I think it'll be a good thing. Double dates are fun, right?" he chuckled. "I think I've had enough time with the guys anyway."

I laughed. "Too much of Jack naked and too much wine?"

"Never too much wine," he corrected.

It took us a while to actually get up to start the day from this late hour. When we did get dressed at last, we made our way out to the kitchen where Rian greeted us at the table. The three of us ate lunch together, and they each told me stories I had secretly been dying to hear. I loved mornings -or afternoons- like this. We had done things like this in high school and it made me nostalgic. But these were the same people, some of the same actions. We were just older and experienced and knew that we would never be without any of the others.

I don't think it was planned, but people trickled in and out of the house all day, as if to remind me of my thoughts. It kept a smile on my face for hours, having all my friends around for however long. Even to be out, running small errands with Alex. It felt routine and it felt like one I could certainly get used to. Things had changed so completely. My mood, the place I lived, the way I lived, the way I thought, the chores I got to do, and the way I got to do them. Change was always said to be a good thing. I finally believed the people that said such things.

There were a couple hours still left until Alex and I were due to meet up with my best friend and her fiance. So we were spending that time in the back yard, a glass of wine contained in our hands and talking with Jack and Evan. The weather was still nice, so I was easily distracted by so much that went on around us. I was brought back to the conversation only by laughs or my name being called. Each sheepish grin at getting caught apologized for not listening, but it didn't take long before something else caught my attention.

I was puzzled when I found myself being dragged into the house, my eyes finally breaking from the trees with their leaves already beginning to change. Now that I was once more brought back into reality, I saw that it was raining. I looked at Alex as he shut the door, frowning. "But it's only raining a little," I tried to argue when no one else was even speaking.

Alex chuckled, letting go of my hand so I was free to go where I pleased. "It only takes a split second for it to start pouring," he claimed. "But if a storm comes, we'll watch it. If you love the snow, I know you enjoy the rain."

With a small kiss, I thanked him.

I didn't move from the door while the rest of them stood at the island in the middle of the kitchen. This room seemed to be an appropriate gathering place for the day, bringing us all together. I couldn't find the will to pull myself from my simple preoccupations, no matter how much I wanted to go over to the boys. I couldn't place why I was acting in my zombie-like state when I usually saved that for when I had too much to handle and comprehend.

I wasn't so out of it that I didn't notice that Alex had been right. There was often no warning when the sky decided to open up and nearly cause a flood. He was also right that I liked the rain. The moment the speed the water drops came down changed, a small smile spread across my lips. It brought me back to the present, clearing so many thoughts from my head, and I turned to join the small group I had neglected.

Alex took my hand as I took the spot next to him. "You don't want me to come over there?" he inquired, his eyebrows pulled together. He wanted to keep his promise, no matter how little that promise was.

I shook my head, squeezing his hand to let him know that it wasn't a big deal. "My eyes have gotten enough of the wildlife of your backyard today," I said, looking over at him. When he smirked at me, understanding, I stole the bag of caramel-covered popcorn I had never really cared for that was lying in front of him. My mood unstoppable, I would give anything another chance. And then I remembered that I had something I needed to ask him. "Can I talk to you, actually?" I whispered, waiting until the others weren't listening.

Again, he was visibly confused. I hated doing that to him. He led me to the couch, sitting before he pulled me down so I was half on his lap. I still had the obnoxiously noisy bag in my hand, and he reached in to grab a piece to stall. "I wish Cracker Jack still had awesome prizes," he speculated, studying the popcorn. "Like rings. It'd be the prettiest, cheapest thing on your fingers."

I took the mediocre candy from him and put it back in the bag, dropping the bag on the floor. "I don't want a ring, Alex," I told him, leaning over to kiss his cheek and wrap my arms around his torso. I rested my head against his chest, continuing. "I just want you. ...Which leads me to my next point. I've thought so much about this, weighing pros and cons, remembering last year and how upset you were when I wouldn't go. I want to come on the fall tour. I want to relax and hang out with you guys as much as I can while I can." I felt winded, saying so much so quickly.

"Are you sure?" Alex knew what had happened when he had suggested this. He wanted to make sure I was doing it for myself and not to make him happy. "What about your job? And Hadley?" I could tell there was a lot going on in his mind, emotions fighting with each other.

"My job is going to be here when I come back. And Hadley will be perfectly fine. I can help plan a wedding over the internet, probably easier than in person," I assured him. "I'm just sick of thinking back to high school, wanting to relive those moments with all of you. I want to be able to make new moments and live in them while they happen."

He held me tight, an emotion finally winning. "There's no question, Clarke. You're coming with us!" he exclaimed, and kissed me with joy. "Do you know how much I love you?"

"As much as I love you, I hope," I responded and he nodded enthusiastically.

By now, everyone was keyed into our conversation. The two of us joined them again and told them that they weren't leaving me behind for the next tour. I didn't like to use the word rejoice when it had to do with me, but I couldn't deny that's what was done. They were glad that I had finally announced this because they knew it was only a matter of time. They knew me so well. And it wouldn't be long until I got to see the other person that knew me like the back of her hand, along with her soon-to-be husband while I was with the one boy I wanted in my life forever.