Australia

Sam’s POV

How can one girl seriously be this confused? How can one girl go after two guys at the same time? how can one girl feel something so strong for two brothers? How can I feel so strongly about a guy who is two years my junior? And how can kissing him and having him hold me like this feel so right? how can doing those things with Joe also feel right? I can assure you, that if any of the boys fans knew what was going on behind the scenes, they would hate me. If they knew that I had taken Joe’s virginity and he took mine, if they knew that I got the opportunity to hug, kiss and cuddle Joe whenever I wanted and if they knew that behind Joe’s back; on a spur of a moment decision I had just made out with Nick. They would hate me for sure. They would hate me for how many times I had hurt both of them, for destroying their image and for causing rifts within the family.

I should hate myself, shouldn’t i? I should hate myself for just about cheating on Joe with Nick. But, I don’t. And I hate that I don’t. I don’t feel guilty for kissing Nick how I had. I don’t feel guilty when I hold his hand or when I woke up curled into his body this morning. I only feel guilty for one thing; that being the possibility that I could hurt Joe by being like this; for being slutty and whorish with Nick.

“Nick?” I said softly.

We were still in the barn. It was sill raining lightly but not as heavy as it was before. We had decided to wait it out completely and wait till we dried off a little before hopping back on Star and London and heading home. We were both lying on our backs; my head resting on Nicks bent arm.

“Yeah Sam?”

I turned on my side and brought head up so we lying face to face. Nick shifted slightly and turned his face to meet me.

“Um, what happens when we get home?” I asked nervously.

“I, I don’t know,” he broke my eye contact and looked away.

“Because, I dot really know what I;m feeling right now,” I told him honestly. “I mean, I know I like you. But, then there's Joe.”

“Don’t leave Joe for me,” Nick turned his head back to me sharply. “Whatever you do. Don’t do that.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” I half smiled. “I guess I just have a lot of thinking to do.”

“I guess you do,” he sighed.

I rolled back on to my back and stared at the roof of the barn. A silence filled the space; making me uncomfortable.

“Maybe, we should head back now,” I offered. “My dads probably worried.”

“Good idea,” Nick agreed a little too fast.

He slid his arm slowly from beneath my head and got to his feet. He turned back to me and held out his hands. I sat up and slid my hands into his slowly; keeping my eyes locked on his. He pulled me up on to my feet and we paused. Our bodies were pressed together how they were a few hours earlier. I fought back the urge to kiss those full, pouting lips again. I broke the eye contact and pulled my hands free of his grip. Nick dropped his hands to his sides and moved to put his guitar back in its case. I did the same.

I guess you could say I wasn’t being fair on either Joe or Nick. It wasn’t just feeling these things that was unfair; it was that I was acting on them. If Tash knew, or even Jeremy for that matter; what I was doing, how I was behaving, they’d both slap me. Maybe that's what I needed; a slap across the face or a kick up the backside. Anything to get me back on track; to get me back to the Sam that met Joe, Nick and Kevin back in Australia and was nervous as heck to just see them on stage let alone hang out with them. I wanted to be that Sam again. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I need Kevin to talk to. But, then again, there’s Chris. That's who I need; my big brother.

“Are we going?” Nick held out his hand to me and I took it gently.

He led the way to the ladder and made his way down. I handed him both the guitars and climbed down myself. We each took a horse by the reigns and led them outside and out into the paddock.

Nicks POV

“Where the hell have you two been?” James’s angry voice swamped us when we entered the house.

“We went out on the trails like you suggested,” Sam explained. “Then we ended up in some paddock.”

“Some paddock?” James questioned. His voice was still angry.

“Why do you have straw in your hair?” Chris asked Sam.

I turned slightly and sure enough Sam had some small bits of straw stuck in the back of her hair. I reached up and began picking them out as she continued her explanation of today's activities.

“it started raining when we were out there,” she told them both.

I stopped picking art her hair when all the straw was gone. She smiled in thanks to me.

“it wasn’t a sprinkle,” Sam continued. “It started completely pouring. Nick spotted a barn so we ran for it. And that’s where we’ve been for the last few hours.”

“Why didn’t you take your phone with you?” James asked; his voice was softer now.

“Honestly, we didn’t think we’d need them,” I told him. “it was only supposed to be a short ride and we would home before you and Chris got back. But mother nature had other ideas.”

“Fair enough,” James sighed. “Well, you two look like you could use a shower. Why don’t you go wash up and come back and see me. We can talk about dinner.”

“Okay,” Sam smiled. “Come on Nick.”

I followed Sam up the stairs and into our room. She walked to her suitcase and turned to face me.

“I think we should keep what happened in the barn to ourselves,” she told me. “At least from Chris and my dad.”

“Of course,” I agreed. “I mean, if we want to continue staying in the same room we’re going to have to.”

I smirked at her and she frowned at me.

“You can go first,” she said; kneeling down at her bag.

“Alright,” I shrugged and walked to m suitcase. I kneeled down beside her. “And Sam, I want you to know how much today meant to me. And I'm not just talking about the kiss and stuff; just hanging out with you like that. It was special.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled. “Now go. Shower!”

“Okay okay,” I grabbed another pair of jeans, a white vneck and a button down. “I won’t be long.”

“Take your time,” she smiled. “Get warm.”

“Okay,” I stood up and smiled at her.

Sam’s POV

I watched Nick leave the room. I kept my eyes on his path until the bathroom door closed. The smile melted off my face and I collapsed backwards; lying on my back on the floor. I needed to talk to Chris and pronto.