Australia

Sam’s POV

I chucked the last pair of jeans on top of the pile of unfolded clothes in my suitcase. I couldn’t be bothered to fold each single piece of clothing. Everything was just thrown in how I found it on the floor or in the bathroom. Even the clothes dad had washed for me had been thrown in with the dirtys. I just didn’t care. I shoved my other pair of converses down the side of the mound of clothes and closed the lid as far it would go. I threw myself on top of it; only to end up sliding off and onto my butt on the floor.

“Stupid thing,” I grumbled.

“Um, let me help you,” Nick’s voice entered to room.

I looked up at him as he walked into the room after his voice; making his way to my suitcase on the bed. He stood on the bed and sat on top of the suitcase. Why didn’t I think of that?

“Zip it up,” he told me and I obliged; easily sliding the zipper from one side right the way round to the other. Nick slid off back onto the floor. He looked at me and rubbed the back of his head.

“Thanks, Nick,” I muttered quietly.

“No problem,” he responded and left the room again.

I plopped down onto the floor beside the bed and pulled on my pink converses; the ones I had left out of the case. I tied the laces. I had managed to avoid Nick this morning. I ended up not sleeping; instead I lay awake with my mind full of thoughts. I thought about the events of the last week. The kisses, the hugs, the hand holding and the snuggling. I thought about the affection Nick had given me. I thought about our adventures; the horse riding, the straw, the singing and the sunsets. It had been an absolutely perfect week. Well, that is until last night. Why didn’t I just let Nick kiss me in the bedroom? Why couldn’t I have just kept everything the way it was with us? We were happy and now I’ve ruined everything.

But, on the other hand, if I had let him kiss me, I would be feeling even more guilty then I already am about Joe.
I love Joe. I always have loved Joe. He has been my infatuation for three years. No boy has ever lived up to the expectations that Joe set in my mind and I never thought any guy ever would. But, then going out with him for real set those expectations for myself higher. I had to be perfect. I had to live up to Joe’s expectations. Joe’s expectations were simple; a girl who takes care of herself and loves him for who he is. I did that. I know I did. But then, Nick had to come along didn’t he? Well, he had been there all along. Its just he came in to a different light. He grew up in front of my eyes; his appearance, his physical height and even how he held himself; his mannerisms and behavior. It all matured. He matured. He seemed older to me. I guess that's what attracted me to him. He wasn't a little boy anymore. Not the love of my life's little brother. He was in the with game just like the others were. It freaked me out knowing that Nick being the way he is, all mature and serious; his physical appearance matched it.

I guess whatever it is that I'm feeling for Nick, might be love. Why couldn’t I have just lied to him last night; told him to his face that I didn’t love him? Looking into those soft chocolate eyes; filled with emotion and love for me I just couldn’t lie to him. I had to tell him how I felt. Even though I don’t know exactly how I felt myself. I sighed. I hadn’t been hard avoiding him this morning. I had packed most of my stuff early this morning; around 4am, while everyone was asleep and I had taken a walk with Chris while Nick packed his stuff.

I realized about half way through my walk that avoiding Nick was stupid because I had a 4 hour car ride home with him. I couldn’t just sit there with my phone listening to music; I didn’t bring my headphones. I guess all that was on offer was an awkward silence the we way home, while we listen to the crappy music the radio had to offer. Or, we could plug my phone like we had on the way here; but a sing a long wasn’t exactly what I felt like doing right now; at least not with Nick anyway.

I turned at the sound of someone wrapping their knuckles on the door. I kneeled up so I could see over the top of my bulging suitcase. I smiled at my older brother.

“Hey,” I smiled.

“Um,” he smiled. “Nick says its time to go.”

“Oh, alright,” I frowned slightly and stood up. “This is probably going to be the most awkward car ride ever.”

“You can always walk home?” Chris grinned and half shrugged.

“I’ll get home next Tuesday,” I smirked at him.

“But, at least you’ll avoid the car ride,” Chris said; moving to lift my suitcase off my bed. “God. What do you have in here?”

“Clothes,” I shrugged. “I know. But, there is no way I’m walking home.”

“it was only a suggestion,” Chris smiled.

“I know,” I sighed. “We better go. I don’t want to keep Nick waiting.”

“Come on, sis,” Chris smiled and draped his arm across the top of my shoulders.

We walked down stairs slowly; Chris leading. Stepping off the bottom step, I found Nick standing at the front door way. He stood tall; his hands behind his back. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a white v-neck. His converses were on his feet and a suit jacket donned his torso. If I didn’t know any better and I was wearing a pretty dress instead of my jeans, tee shirt and leather jacket, I’d think I was getting picked up for prom. Nick nodded and turned around; walking out the door. My dad followed Nick out. With a sigh, I followed also walking out to the side of the car. I turned around and looked up at my dad.

“You have no idea how much hanging out with you meant dad,” I smiled. “And seeing you, for that matter.”

“Honey,” Dad smiled and pulled me into a hug. “You are welcome back any time. you know where we are.”

“I know,” I squeezed my dad around the waist. “I’ll definitely come back.”

“Good.” Dad released me and smiled down at me. “I look forward to it.”

I turned to Chris. He crossed his arms and tilted his head. I mimicked his actions perfectly and smirked. He laughed and dropped his arms; pulling me into his arms forcefully.

“I love you sis,” he whispered in my ear.

“I love you too,” I whispered back. “Ill miss you all over again. Seeing you again has been amazing.”

“I’ll miss you too,” he told me and let me go. He smiled down at me. “Take care of yourself.”

“I will,” I smiled. “Be safe.”

“Always,” he grinned. “Now go!”

With a smile to both Chris and my dad I climbed into the jeep; in the passengers seat. I waved to my family and slid my sunglasses onto my face. Nick pulled the jeep away from the house and started back down the dirt road. I glanced at his face once; his serious demeanor softer than usual. He turned to look at me slightly with a soft small on his face. I turned my face away; resting my elbow on the door and my cheek in my palm. This was going to be a long drive.