Australia
Chapter Eighty Three
Nicks POV
“Nothing,” I smiled at Sam; hoping it was convincing enough. Apparently not.
“Yeah, right,” she raised her eyebrows at me and retracted her hand. Once again my skin burned from the contact. "There's something bothering you. It's written all over your face."
"It's nothing," I smiled at her again.
She leaned her elbow on the armrest and moved closer to me; ours faces only a few inches apart. I felt her breathe on my lips. They tingled without even being touched. I would've given anything for her to just lean in and kiss me like she kissed Joe. No such luck.
"You can't hide anything from me, Nicholas Jerry," she tilted her head slightly.
"I know," I caved; sighing. "But it's not something I can just blurt out to you."
"Why not?" she leaned back from me; pulling her arm back.
"Because, it's about you," I looked away. "And those feelings I mentioned back in the treehouse all that time ago."
"Oh," she leaned away a little more but continued to face me.
"Yeah," I looked back at her.
"What about them?" Sam leaned her elbow back on the headrest and rested her chin in her palm.
I looked her in the eyes. Was she kidding? She wanted me to spill my thoughts and growing feelings of the last few months. The seriousness and sympathy in her eyes answered my question.
"It's not important really," I shook my head and broke eye contact.
She leaned away again, properly this time. I thought she had dropped the subject completely. I heard her exhale loudly before leaning over again. She placed her hand onto my thigh again and I held my breath. I stole a glance at Sam. She had her eyes on my face. I could feel the intensity in her eyes as she bore holes in my left cheek. I turned to face her and the same intensity hit my eyes. I gulped. Why was I feeling so nervous, so uncomfortable about how she was looking at me? Was it wrong that the only thing I wanted to do was place my my hands on either side of her face and kiss her passionately? The way Sam was looking at me was like she was drawing me in. My breath came in short gulps and I tried to regain control of my mind. It was racing through scenarios I wouldn't usually think about; all of which included my older brothers girlfrend. I glanced down at her lips and I bit my bottom lip nervously.
"Nick?" Sam's voice broke into my fantasies.
"What?" I blinked at looked Sam in the eyes.
"Didn't you hear what I said?" she looked confused.
"Uh," I cleared my throat. "Um, no."
I felt a hot blush cast its way across my cheeks.
"I said, that I don't mind you having feelings for me," she drummed her fingers on my leg. "I mean, you are my best friend. I know what it's like to have a crush or have feelings for your best friend. I've been there, trust me. And I know, it turns out awkward as hell."
"But, hold on," I interrupted. "I thought Tash was your best friend."
She raised her eyes brows at me.
"Exactly," she sighed.
"You, um, you had a crush on Tash?" I asked her. I could hear the complete disbelief in my voice.
"Yeah," she nodded. "This is something else Joe doesn't know about me. I thought I did. I thought I had fallen in love with her and I told her. It was awkward for 2 months until the um,"
She leaned in and whispered in my ear.
"Cutting started."
I nodded knowingly.
"How'd that change things?" I asked.
"She blamed herself," she shrugged and leaned back in her chair. "But after that, I didn't feel anything towards her anymore. I felt so strongly for Joe before even meeting him. I turned my world around."
"Oh," I sighed, leaning back also.
"So, I understand what you're feeling," she turned her head on the side. "And I don't want it to get in the way of our friendship. I can guarantee you that it won't."
I looked at Sam and smiled at her. She turned to look out the window and a silence fell upon us. If only I could promise the same.
“Nothing,” I smiled at Sam; hoping it was convincing enough. Apparently not.
“Yeah, right,” she raised her eyebrows at me and retracted her hand. Once again my skin burned from the contact. "There's something bothering you. It's written all over your face."
"It's nothing," I smiled at her again.
She leaned her elbow on the armrest and moved closer to me; ours faces only a few inches apart. I felt her breathe on my lips. They tingled without even being touched. I would've given anything for her to just lean in and kiss me like she kissed Joe. No such luck.
"You can't hide anything from me, Nicholas Jerry," she tilted her head slightly.
"I know," I caved; sighing. "But it's not something I can just blurt out to you."
"Why not?" she leaned back from me; pulling her arm back.
"Because, it's about you," I looked away. "And those feelings I mentioned back in the treehouse all that time ago."
"Oh," she leaned away a little more but continued to face me.
"Yeah," I looked back at her.
"What about them?" Sam leaned her elbow back on the headrest and rested her chin in her palm.
I looked her in the eyes. Was she kidding? She wanted me to spill my thoughts and growing feelings of the last few months. The seriousness and sympathy in her eyes answered my question.
"It's not important really," I shook my head and broke eye contact.
She leaned away again, properly this time. I thought she had dropped the subject completely. I heard her exhale loudly before leaning over again. She placed her hand onto my thigh again and I held my breath. I stole a glance at Sam. She had her eyes on my face. I could feel the intensity in her eyes as she bore holes in my left cheek. I turned to face her and the same intensity hit my eyes. I gulped. Why was I feeling so nervous, so uncomfortable about how she was looking at me? Was it wrong that the only thing I wanted to do was place my my hands on either side of her face and kiss her passionately? The way Sam was looking at me was like she was drawing me in. My breath came in short gulps and I tried to regain control of my mind. It was racing through scenarios I wouldn't usually think about; all of which included my older brothers girlfrend. I glanced down at her lips and I bit my bottom lip nervously.
"Nick?" Sam's voice broke into my fantasies.
"What?" I blinked at looked Sam in the eyes.
"Didn't you hear what I said?" she looked confused.
"Uh," I cleared my throat. "Um, no."
I felt a hot blush cast its way across my cheeks.
"I said, that I don't mind you having feelings for me," she drummed her fingers on my leg. "I mean, you are my best friend. I know what it's like to have a crush or have feelings for your best friend. I've been there, trust me. And I know, it turns out awkward as hell."
"But, hold on," I interrupted. "I thought Tash was your best friend."
She raised her eyes brows at me.
"Exactly," she sighed.
"You, um, you had a crush on Tash?" I asked her. I could hear the complete disbelief in my voice.
"Yeah," she nodded. "This is something else Joe doesn't know about me. I thought I did. I thought I had fallen in love with her and I told her. It was awkward for 2 months until the um,"
She leaned in and whispered in my ear.
"Cutting started."
I nodded knowingly.
"How'd that change things?" I asked.
"She blamed herself," she shrugged and leaned back in her chair. "But after that, I didn't feel anything towards her anymore. I felt so strongly for Joe before even meeting him. I turned my world around."
"Oh," I sighed, leaning back also.
"So, I understand what you're feeling," she turned her head on the side. "And I don't want it to get in the way of our friendship. I can guarantee you that it won't."
I looked at Sam and smiled at her. She turned to look out the window and a silence fell upon us. If only I could promise the same.
♠ ♠ ♠
An insight to Nick's mind.And Sams past.
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