We're Damned

I sighed and shifted as I tried to get more comfortable in the stiff coffee shop booth. The steam that rose from my cup put me in a trace. I couldn’t tear my vision away from it, and I liked it that way. It kept my eyes from roaming the shop over and over, making me more anxious with every minute that passed. I still wasn’t quite sure why I was sitting here. And then there was the small voice in the back of my head that answered the question every time.

I was here for her.

The girl I could never quite get out of my head. Sometimes I didn’t want her out of me head, but other times I wished I’d never met her. I would have never gotten into so much trouble and gotten myself into so much pain if I hadn’t met her. But then, she made me who I am today. She taught me how to cut loose and how to love my life. I like to think I’d have found those things for myself eventually, but I know it wouldn’t be the same. I wouldn’t be the same without her.

Shelly Ann Gaskarth.


“Alex, I really am not feeling like going to Sam’s party tonight.” I groaned as I watched my best friend fiddle around my room. He had been anxious since the second he walked into the house, but I hadn’t thought to ask him why. I guess I was just a little preoccupied with my own thoughts to care.

“Too bad, you’re coming.” He didn’t even look at me as he pulled his phone out and checked his phone. This was about the twentieth time he’d done so since entering my room. “Shelly’s already psyched to meet you. She’d kick my ass if you don’t come.”

“I am definitely not ready for anything in the relationship department, so you should go ahead and tell her I’m not coming.”I lay back on my bed, putting my arms behind my head. Alex came and sat beside me.

“Dude, I know you’re still heartbroken over Gabby, but trust me. You are going to want to meet Shelly. She’ll probably even get you to forget all about Gabby, at least for the night.” Alex shrugged and checked his phone again.

“I don’t want to forget about Gabby!” I threw my hands up in exasperation. Nobody seemed to get it. Gabriel was my girlfriend and I loved her. Just because she decided to dump me for some other guy didn’t mean that my feelings suddenly changed for her. And no amount of one night stands or small flings were going to make me feel better either.

“You’ve been moping around for weeks. Just come out tonight, have some fun.” I sighed and realized he wasn’t going to give in, and neither would anyone else.

“Why do keep checking your phone?” I changed the subject and he sighed, throwing his phone on the bed beside him.

“Shelly took Lisa out today and now neither one of them is answering my phone calls or texts.” Now he started to twiddle his thumbs. “God only knows what she’s telling her.” That’s when I noticed how nervous he looked.

“Afraid Lisa may spill and then Shelly tells your folks?” I guessed and turned my head to look at him. Alex snorted and shook his head.

“Other way around,” he shook his head some more and smiled. “Shelly is bad news.”

“And you’re trying to set me up with her, why?” I arched an eyebrow at the new information.

“I’m not setting you two up.” He looked at me like I was crazy. “Shelly is the last person to be in a relationship, but she’s fun. I told her about Gabby and all and she wants to meet you.” He shrugged. “Something about helping out the broken hearted population as a karma thing.”

“Karma?”

“She’s weird. Don’t pay too much attention to it or you’ll get sucked in.” His eyes lit up as his phone rang. “Baby! Where you been?” I guessed it was Lisa by his greeting and turned over to ignore the rest of his conversation.

My thoughts were a bit twisted. I was still trying to figure a way out of the party when Alex shoved me off the bed. “Dude, what the fuck?” I groaned and rubbed my side. I’d landed on something sharp and hard.

“Lisa and Shell are outside. We’re starting the party early.” He was grinning like mad as he slipped on his shoes and ran from my room. I rolled my eyes and slowly laced up my Chucks. “Hurry up, man!” He yelled from what sounded like the living room and I trudged after him.

I grabbed my keys and threw them in my pocket before locking the front door behind me. Lisa’s car was idling in my driveway and as I stepped closer to it, I could clearly see Alex and her making out through the front windshield. “This is going to be great fun,” I muttered bitterly to myself before I reached her car. I slid into the back and stared forward.

“Alexander! I swear to god if you don’t stop shoving your tongue down her god damn throat I’m going to vomit all over your fucking perfect hair!” I flinched at the loud yell that came from beside me. I glanced over and was surprised by what I found. The girl sitting beside me was small. It was hard to believe the shout came from her. She was gorgeous too, with an innocent twinge to her. It was hard not to stare.

“So, you think my hair looks perfect too?” Alex chuckled and Lisa giggled as the car started to move. The gorgeous blue eyed girl rolled her eyes.

“I think you’re a dick.” She mumbled and then crossed her arms over her chest.

“Aw, you know you love me, dear cousin.” Alex joked and then turned in his seat. “Shelly this is Jack. Jack, Shelly.” He introduced us and the girl finally seemed to notice I was sitting in the back seat.

“Heart-broken Jack, right?” She smiled wide and her eyes sparkled. I sighed and narrowed my eyes at Alex. He shrugged and went back to facing forward. “Don’t worry sweetie. We all get Cupid’s arrow torn out of our hearts eventually.” Her words seemed to be overly coated with sugar and candy as she scooted over to the middle seat. My mouth dropped open as her fingers laced with mine and she squeezed my hand reassuringly. Then she leaned in close and whispered in my ear, “just wait till those two get pulled apart.” She giggled and pulled back as her eyes went forward to dart between Alex and Lisa. “Now that, is going to be fucking brutal.”

I nodded, unable to talk much. I was a little too shocked to make coherent sentences. The girl I’d just met was already holding my hand and leaning her head on my shoulder like we were a couple. I rethought about Alex calling her weird and thought strange fit her better.

“Now off to party, dimwit.” Shelly kicked the back of Alex’s seat and then smiled innocently when he turned around to glare at her. “I need some alcohol in my system before I faint.”

She had me around her finger in less than a week. It was absolutely ridiculous. The girl was so frighteningly spontaneous; it was hard to keep up with her at times. I tried ignoring the fact that I had fallen for her in such a short time, but it didn’t help. She was my brand new addiction that I just couldn’t get enough of.

It took a long time before I could admit it, before I wanted to admit it. Gabriel had shattered a lot of things. She’d torn my heart and made it hard to trust anyone again. But Shelly was different. She was crazy and beautiful, and she just felt right. And then I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. I wanted her to be mine, and I hers.


“Shelly,” I sang and then giggled, which caused her to giggle and fall into my arms. We’d both had too many tequila shots, but that was a typical Saturday night for Shelly and I was starting to get used to it. “There’s something I gotta tell ya, Shell.”

“Well then spit it out, wanker.” She giggled harder at the name. Lately she’d taken quite a fancy to British movies and she’d started to pick up on some of the lingo. “I haven’t got all day,” she rolled her eyes and spoke with a fake British accent.

“Technically it’s night.” She pushed up against me harder, burying her face in my neck.

“You’re a prat.” She mumbled as her arms wrapped around my torso.

“A prat, eh?” I looked down at her and chuckled, letting my hands find her sides. “Now if I do recall, I did just carry you as we ran from the cops. Did I not?”I smirked and squeezed her sides. I was surprised by the low moan that came from her.

“Alright, so you got me out of trouble and you’re not a prat. But you still haven’t told me you’re secret.” I could hear her cute pout in her voice.

“So I’ll tell you now,” I said nonchalantly and she pulled her head up, tilting it back so she could stare at me. My heart beat quickened in seconds. Her blue eyes were glazed over and I briefly wondered if she’d even remember this in the morning. She’d had more to drink that I had after all. “I like you.”

She giggled profusely and rested her head back on my chest. “I like you too, Jack.” I swallowed hard.

“Then be my girlfriend?” It was quiet. She was quiet. She was quiet and she was tense. Her head came back up and she stared at me. Now her blues eyes chilled me. They were clearer and steadier.

“Jack,” and with just my name, dread filled me. She wasn’t going to give me the answer I wanted, that much was obvious. “You don’t want a girlfriend like me.” She sighed and looked down.

“I do want you.” I was confused beyond belief. I hugged her toward me harder.

“I’m no good, Jack.” Now she was scaring me. I’d never heard her like this. She sounded like she was about to cry. “You don’t want me.” She repeated with a little more force, regaining her composure as she did so.

“Shelly,” I brought my hands up to her face and cupped it gently so she’d have to look at me. “Will you be my girlfriend?” I asked, a little more stern this time as a smile fell on my face.

She sighed and her shoulders fell. “I’d love to be your girlfriend.” She smiled too and rested her face in my hands. My heart swelled with excitement.

“I love you.” I just blurted it out. I didn’t mean to, hell I was still getting used to the idea myself. Her eyes widened with a little fear and shock. I quickly pressed my lips against hers before either one of us could say anything.

Then she pulled back and wrapped her arms around my neck, a silly looking grin on her face. “You’re a damn good kisser.” She giggled.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” I smirked and leaned back down to kiss her harder.