Such a Typical Thing

If it hurts this much, then it must be love;

When I stepped off the plane in Baltimore, I was greeted by my very unhappy mother.

I stopped in front of her and she pursed her lips. I dropped my gave to my bare toes poking out of my sandals.

She let out a sigh. “Let's go get your luggage,” she said after a long silence.

Silently, we walked to the baggage claim. I walked behind her, head down, feeling as little as an ant.

In the car, sitting in the back seat, I stared out the window. I tried to keep the tears in my eyes from spilling over, but failed. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I pulled my phone out of my bag and turned it on. I tried to gather up the courage to text Danny, by couldn't.

When we arrived home, our housekeeper was quick to gather my bags and take them to my room.

“Your father will be home at seven. We will eat then and discuss your punishment,” she said, her voice tight. I nodded wordlessly and went up the stairs quickly.

In my room, Reya was opening my bags, tossing all of the clothes into the hamper.

“Wait!” I yelled, grabbing the two t-shirts I'd swiped from Danny's open suitcase. “Don't wash these,” I told her, putting them in my closet. Reya nodded and carried the hamper out.

Once she was gone, I flipped the lock on my door and pulled on one of Danny's shirts. I slid under the blankets of my bed and stared at the teal walls of my room blankly. My vision started to blur and my face heated up as tears rushed to my eyes again. I pulled the pillow over my head. I slipped into a fitful sleep, waking ever forty-five minutes or so and rolling over.

At 6:30, I pulled myself from my bed and walked into my bathroom, turning on the spray of the shower.

I tugged off the shirt and held it to me. I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. My eyes stung again and I clenched my jaw.

I showered slowly, taking the time just to stand under the water. I turned the hot water all the way up, letting it scorch my skin.

Finally, I stepped out and dressed in a plaid shirt and a pair of nice jeans. I dried my hair, leaving the bottom layer wet. I didn't even bother with make up.

The were no texts from Danny, which hurt a bit. I sighed, tossing my phone onto my bed deciding to head downstairs to meet my doom.

When I walked into the dining room, my father was sitting at the head of the table, reading the New York Times. He glanced up at me and folded his paper. As if on cue, my mother walked and I stood in the doorway as they stared at me.

“Welcome home, Remy,” my father said, breaking the silence.

“What now?” I asked, wanting to get straight to the point.

“First off, you're going back for winter quarter, only because it's too late to get you registered for fall quarter. To make up for lost time, you'll be staying at school for summer quarter as well.” As my father spoke, I tried to keep my face void of emotion. 'Until you go back to school, you'll be working at your mother's office, to earn your keep around here.”

“Anything else?” I asked, avoiding their gaze.

“We're disappointed in you, Remy,” my mother told me quietly.

“I know,” I said with a nod, dropping my gaze to my feet. “Am I excused?”

My father nodded slowly and I turned and retreated up the stairs quickly.

I collapsed on my bed, just laying there. Grabbing my phone, I looked at the time and dialed Danny's number, holding the phone to my ear.

“I was wondering when you'd call,” he said, answering on the third ring. I could hear the smile in his voice and just hearing his voice brought tears to my eyes.

“Hi,” I managed to get out.

“Hey,” he said softy. “How are things?”

“They're making me go back to school for winter quarter, and I have to go to summer quarter to keep on track. Until I leave in January, I have to work at my mother's office.”

“Rough.”

“I stole two of your shirts, by the way,” I confessed, letting out a bit of a laugh.

“I noticed,” he told me, laughing himself.

“All I've done since I got off the plane is sleep and cry.”

“Rems, don't cry over this. I don't know when we'll be together, but we will. I promise,” he said softly. I let out a sob, wiping my eyes.

“I miss you,” I told him quietly, curling into a ball.

“I miss you too,” he said. “We're about to head out to dinner, but I'll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Okay. Bye,” I said, hanging up.

I put my phone under my pillow and once again, started to cry.

–

The boys returned home four weeks later. I went to the regular homecoming blow out party at Alex and Rian's they have every time they return from tour, hoping Danny would be there.

I arrived at ten, parking on the street, slipping my keys into my clutch. Taking a deep breath, I walked up the sidewalk to the door, walking in.

The noise was astronomical, the entire house vibrating. As I walked into the kitchen, the noise cut off and I looked up to see Alex and Jack standing on the counter top of the island.

“We thank thee for the astounding homecoming party, and now, we pray thee raise thy cup and HUFFAH!” Alex yelled, holding his cup up, hitting it against the light.

There was a loud cry of “huffah” and red cups appeared in the air.

“Remy!” Jack yelled, spotting me.

“Ahh, the fair Remy has graced us with her presence!” Alex exclaimed. “Someone giveth her a drink!”

Someone I didn't recognize handed me a cup and I raised it to Alex before taking a small drink.

Twenty minutes later, I found myself sitting on the back patio, still on my first drink.

The early September air night was still warm against my skin and I looked around the yard. Sebastian padded out the open door and hopped into my lap.

“Hey, boy,” I said quietly, scratching under his collar.

Lisa came out five minutes later, running the back of her hand over her forehead.

“Are you okay?” I asked, causing her to jump.

“Oh my god, I didn't see you there!” she said with a laugh. Baz had stood up and was looking between Lisa and I quickly.

“Everything okay?” I asked again.

“Yeah, it's just really crowded in there,” she said with nod, sitting down on the edge of the chaise I was sitting on. Baz happily walked to her. “Are you alright? You seem down.”

“Danny's not here,” I confessed quietly, taking a drink. She smiled sadly.

“He had to head home as soon as tour was over. Something with his family,” Lisa said honestly.

I nodded. “I was just hoping he'd be here. We haven't talked since the first night I got home.”

“Yeah, he told me about that.” She paused. “Remy, just don't give up on him. He really does care about you, so much, he just doesn't know what to do about it, with you being in school and with him touring all the time. Just, don't give up. You're good for him.” Lisa patted my knee before standing up and walking back in the house, Baz following her.

I sighed, pulling my phone out. I dialed Danny's number and it send. It rang and rang until going to Voicemail.

I waited for the beep and sighed again.

“Hey, Danny, it's me...Remy,” I said awkwardly. “I'm sitting here at Alex's with a drink in my hand and something's missing and I'm pretty sure it's you. Okay, I'm sure it's you. I just feel like we've lost what we had. Well, whatever we had, whatever you want to call it.

“I just keep thinking about that day we went shopping, at the nail salon. The manicurist told me that it was obvious that you liked me, and I kind of knew it, but I don't know. And then at the bus when we almost kissed. I really do regret going with Garrett that day. It's like, maybe if I had stayed with you, or if we'd actually kissed, things would have been so much different.

“I would have stayed if we were dating when my mom called. Looking back, I should have stayed, even though we weren't dating. I wish I had stayed. I would have stayed without a doubt in my mind if I knew that being apart would hurt this much, or that we wouldn't talk anymore.

“I just really miss you, Danny,” I said finally, my eyes burning. “I haven't cried over this in a few days, and now I'm crying again. I don't know, I just wanted to hear your voice and have you tell me that everything's going to be okay. But no, I just got your damn voicemail.” I hung up, feeling rather bitter as tears poured down my cheeks.

I collected myself and stood up, placing my drink on the counter as I fished through my clutch for my keys.

–

Four months later, I was closing my trunk and looking up at my house one last time before getting in my car and heading off for college again.

My parents and I had been silent nearly the whole five months I'd be home. There was the a mutual understanding of their disappointment in me and the fact that I was not happy.

They didn't help me load my car, just stood on the front porch and watched me.

I waved as I opened my door and slid in, starting my engine.

I drove the four hours to Pittsburgh for school and past my exit. Then, past the Exit Only sign and continued on.

I past a sign that said “DETRIOT, MI – 280 MILES” and smiled.