You Only Hate Me Because I'm Gay

Chapter Three

Chase’s POV

“Mom? Mom, where are you?”

I called for my mom just as soon as I walked in the door. She was always great at telling me what she thinks I should do. And she’s always right, too. That was one of the reasons my mom and I were so close. I told her everything. Well, I had told her almost everything. I had never told her about my feelings for Brodie. But, if I ever had a problem, I would tell her about it, and she would come up with a way to solve it. Never has her advice gotten me deeper into trouble, or put me into a bigger bind.

“I’m in here, Chase.” Her voice floated out of the kitchen, telling me that she had been cooking all day. Well, one thing was for sure. Dinner was sure to be amazing.

I walked into the kitchen where she was and found that my assumption had been correct. There was food everywhere. On the stove, in the oven and covering the counters. It all looked incredible.

“Wow, Mom, what’s the occasion?”

“Nothing really, I just woke up and felt like cooking. Does it look okay?”

“It looks better than okay, it looks amazing.” But I didn’t want to talk to her about her food right now. I wanted to talk to her about what the heck I should do about Brodie and my feelings for him. I needed her to tell me how to go about making them disappear.

Loving someone and not having him or her love you back; that really hurt. And I didn’t want to keep feeling that hurt. I wanted it to go away.

“Mom, did you ever like someone that didn’t like you back?” I figured that just getting to the point would be the easiest way of going about all of this.

“Well, yeah, actually, I have. And it didn’t feel all that great. He was actually my best friend. We spent all of our time together, and eventually, I fell in love with him. We fought sometimes, but it never lasted for more than an hour or so. Neither of us could stand not talking to the other. But, for different reasons. I was his best friend; he was my first love.”

“What did you do about it?”

“Well, he eventually got a girlfriend, and they were together for a few months, and each day, it hurt me more and more. He started to notice that there was something wrong with me. I would never tell him, and then we started getting distant with each other. When I was just about to the point of breaking, he called me and told me that he and his girlfriend had broken up. I hid my excitement and asked him why. He told me that while he was with her, he started realizing that she meant absolutely nothing to him; he cared for someone else.

“When he said that, it felt like my heart shattered. I faked happiness, telling him that I was happy for him, and that I hoped things worked out between him and the other girl. But, then he went even further, and asked me if I would go to the park with him and meet her.” She looked so into her story that I didn’t want to risk interrupting with my pity for what had happened.

She continued with, “I tried making up an excuse so that I wouldn’t have to go meet the girl I wished I could be, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He kept begging, pleading with me to go with him to meet her. When I finally agreed, he was so happy about it. He told me to meet him up there in half an hour, so I got ready and decided to walk the few blocks to the park.

"When I got there, I was so surprised to see Jason sitting there by himself. He had his head held in his hands, and that made me think that whoever this girl was, she had stood him up or something. When he heard me approaching him, he looked up and grinned. I was confused, so I looked behind me, expecting to see the girls behind me. There wasn’t anybody there.

"He was smiling at me. God, I had missed that smile so much lately. He walked over to me and hugged me, telling me that he was glad I came, and that it meant a lot to him. I asked where this mystery girl was, and he just said to hold on; that I’d meet her in just a second. He made me close my eyes, and then he grabbed my hand and started pulling me around to the back of this gazebo-like thing. He asked me if I wanted to meet her, and I nodded, only because he wanted me to. He told me that once I opened my eyes, I would see her, so, I waited a minute before finally getting the courage to face this girl. And when I did open my eyes, all I saw was myself and Jason, reflected in a mirror.

“I turned to him, and the only thing I could think of to say was ‘really?’ That was all I said. He laughed and said, ‘Yes, really.’ And then he kissed me.

"We were together for three years, and then he went off to college on the other side of the country. We knew that we couldn’t handle being that far apart, so we split up.”

And then I spoke. “Wow, Mom, that had to be hard. But, I think you two were lucky. I mean, do you still talk at all, or was the break up just it? You loved each other. The guy I like, he’s disgusted by me. I can see it in his eyes. I just know that he would never feel that way about me.”

Jason and I still call each other from time to time actually. He’s my best friend again. But, I don’t think that it’ll ever turn out to be anything more than that. Don’t be so negative though. Have you told the guy that you like him?”

Well – no, not exactly. But there’s no point in telling him. If I do that, I’ll lose him. And he’s my best friend. Ha-ha, just like with you and Jason. Except that you guys had a happier ending that Brodie and I will have.”

“You like Brodie?”

“Yeah, is that a bad thing?”

“No, I just didn’t know who you were talking about until then. Telling him would be a big step, but do you really want to keep something like that from him? That decision is entirely yours to make. It just depends on what you think will happen in the long run. Just do what you think is righty. I know that someway, it will all work out all right. Listen to your heart. Do what it tells you and everything will be okay.”

“Thanks Mom, you’re really good at this you know. But I’m going upstairs. Call me when dinner’s ready.”

I walked up to my room and started playing every A Rocket TO The Moon song I had. Their music always made me feel better.